Love's Abundant Harvest (19 page)

“I suppose so.” He offered his hand to help her up. “There is something I thought
I should ask you about.”

He held her arm as she walked, as if expecting her to lose her balance again. “
Jah
,
what's that?”

“That day I took you into town.” He paused. “And you
were in a quiet place in the
barn. I noticed you had some things in there.”

“You mean the reading material?” Besides the Bible, she also had a diary but was
sure it was burned to ashes. The books she could do without as well, though she hated
to see them go.

“
Jah
, there wasn't much left. Everything was ashes. But I did find this.” He pulled
out an engraved piece of metal and handed it to her. “It's in pretty bad shape. I
couldn't make out what it was at first, but thought you might want it anyway.”

Her bottom lip trembled as he laid the object in the palm of her hand. “
Danke
, Manny.”

He nodded but didn't ask what it was, having the good sense to know it was something
special.

“My
daed
gave it to me. It's a little bookmark he made out of a horseshoe.” She swallowed
the lump in her throat. “He knew how much I like to read and let me hide away once
my chores were done.”

“Sounds like a
gut
man.”

“
Jah
, he is.” She took quick steps, not wanting to see his face as she responded.
“You remind me of him.” And for the first time Lucy admitted to herself that she
was helplessly falling in love with this man.

F
or a second time within the last month Lucy stood waiting for an unfamiliar buggy
to stop in front of
Mammi
's home.

Jeremiah hopped out and greeted her. “Mornin'.” He tipped his hat in a gentlemanly
way and proceeded over to the other side of the buggy. The door popped open, causing
him to move back. The passenger's dress covered a long leg that stuck out, and then
another. Jeremiah tried to take a step forward, but a delicate hand waved him away.

“Sure you don't want some help out?” Jeremiah kept his distance. Lucy knew who the
visitor was. He had that look on his face folks always did, especially men, when
she was around them. The independent touch of not accepting his chivalry confirmed
it as she handed him his pay and then stepped out of the buggy. Her shapely figure
made Lucy wonder if her own body would ever be the same again. She'd never been one
to notice or care, but after being away from her sister for so long, she noticed
more about her family back home.

“Fannie!” Lucy waddled as quickly as she could but stopped short when Fannie hopped
down and stared at her.

She dropped her bag and held out a finger. “Don't you dare rush over here!” Her jaw
dropped. “I can't believe how big you are!”

Lucy laughed out loud. She knew her sister meant it in
an endearing way. It was surely
a shock to see her so much larger than her usual thin frame. As they embraced, Lucy
felt safe and content. Just being near her sister brought her back to the person
she was, loved and cared for by a sister who truly knew everything about her—her
favorite food and flower, and they both liked the same hymn, but differed on color.
Lucy favored more subtle hues, while Fannie liked vibrant colors.

“It's so good to see you!” Fannie pulled back and frowned. “But you look ex
haus
ted.”
She brushed away a wayward lock of Lucy's hair and looked into her eyes. “Should
I be sorry about Sam?”

Lucy flinched. It wasn't a question to be asked, but she would respond properly.
“Fannie!”

“I won't apologize. He was an awful man.” She tucked her arm around Lucy's and tugged
her along slowly. “I'll never forgive
Mamm
for getting you two together.”

“I'd tell you not to talk that way, but I know it won't do any good.” Lucy had heard
so many comments about him that she really didn't know what to say anymore. Most
said what was expected, with the exception of those who were more truthful, but none
were as blunt as Fannie. “How was the ride?”

“No small talk. How many days do you have?” She nodded to Lucy's bulging middle.
Fannie was all business—one thing Lucy loved about her sister, as it wasn't a quality
she had, and she needed it at a time like this. Not only would Fannie help her get
prepared, but she would also make sure everyone around her would be helpful or not
be involved. She was even more forward than their
mamm
, but in a positive, non-condescending
way. Lucy was curious whether Fannie would notice the difference
in
Mamm
's behavior.
She wondered whether it was just a passing thing, and their
mamm
would soon be her
old self again.

“I have a little over a month left.”

Fannie groaned. “You need to be more specific. When was the doctor here last?”

“There is no doctor.”

Fannie paused. “All right, the midwife, then.”

“The closest midwife lives in a different community.”

“So let's get her over here to see you.” She rested her fists on her hips, and Lucy
knew she was getting frustrated.
Mamm
wasn't one to ask for help, even if it was
birthing a baby. She was very confident she could do anything a midwife could do.
Lucy tended to agree.

“She lives pretty far away, a good day's buggy drive.
Mamm
said we'd wait until closer
to the day to fetch her if needed.”

“What's the point in that if she's that far?” Fannie shook her head. There would
definitely be some tension while both of them were there. But
Mamm
would be leaving
soon, so Lucy told herself to take it in stride. She was so close to having this
baby born, there was nothing that could keep that from happening, not even her strong-willed
mother and sister.

Fannie brushed her hand over her
kapp
, rearranged it, and adjusted the pins—a gesture
that told Lucy she was frustrated. She would do her best to keep the peace, but no
one listened to her anyway, so it probably wouldn't do much good. Regardless, Lucy
couldn't be happier to have her sister by her side again.

“Well, I see what my first project is.” They started walking again. “To find you
a doctor.”

“We'll be lucky if
Mamm
agrees to a midwife, let alone a doctor.” To be honest, Lucy
wasn't comfortable with a doctor, but she would hate for a ride to keep her from
getting help if she needed it during delivery. Although some of the Amish were starting
to use doctor's methods, most of their community hadn't, unless it was absolutely
necessary due to a serious matter.

Fannie squinted at her sideways. “
Mamm
's concerns should be on
Daed
. That's why I'm
here—so she can go take care of things at home, and I will take care of you two.”
She smiled and put a hand on Lucy's belly. “I'm so excited for you. But I have to
admit that I am torn when I see my sisters with their babies.” She looked down at
the road, unusually silent for a moment. “I love being an auntie. I'll especially
enjoy it with your little one.”

Fannie was much prettier than Lucy but was humble about her looks, as most Amish
women would be. But she did have the potential to be downright beautiful. Lucy only
dreamed young men might glance at her the way their eyes lingered on Fannie. But
Fannie didn't give them any attention—except the one who broke her heart, creating
her reluctance to let a man court her. “You'll come home once the baby is born, won't
you?”

“I asked
Mammi
, and she said she'd stay, along with the girls. She has a good life
here. I've grown so fond of them, I don't know if I could leave now.”

“I can't imagine they'd be more like family than your own,” Fannie said, a hint of
resentment in her voice. Lucy expected she'd feel much the same if she hadn't experienced
the threesome in action.

“And Nellie and Rosy are like second aunts to me. You
just have to meet them, and
then you'll lose that stubborn face.” Fannie, she was sure, would fit right in.

Fannie stopped in front of
Mammi
's
haus
, her eyes gliding over the place Lucy called
home. “What you must have gone through when that silo blew.” Fannie stared at the
ground and then looked straight up as if picturing it in her mind. “When I first
heard, I started hating Sam ever more—”

“How can you blame him?”

But Lucy herself had done so, over and over again. If anything had happened to the
baby, she didn't know what she'd have done. There was no way, at least not in her
thinking, that she could ever have forgiven him for leaving her and tending to his
precious farm. Maybe it wasn't rational, but it had run through her mind many times.

Lucy had prayed thanksgiving for the child growing inside her more than ever after
that fire. And Sam was no longer there for her to fear. She'd felt the tension melt
away soon after the funeral. More shame always loomed for her to take on, but because
of the baby she could keep the guilt away.

Fannie was watching her as she gathered her thoughts. “The same way you blame him.
Don't deny it. But I don't expect you to say it out loud, either.” At times Lucy
felt her sister could read her mind and that she could do the same in return. Although
they were very different, they seemed to complete a whole.

“Why are you so bitter? It happened to me, not you.” Lucy knew the answer but had
to ask in hopes Fannie would stop taking about this. She didn't have the strength
to be angry or sad anymore.

Fannie let out a breath. “I guess it's the way I deal with the whole thing. From
the day you first met him until right at this moment, I still can't forgive myself
for not stepping in before you ever said, ‘I do.'”

Those weren't the words Lucy had expected to hear. Being taken under her sister's
wing had always been a good and positive thing, but at the moment Lucy felt for the
first time that maybe this time it wasn't. As she looked back, she realized she had
grown inwardly. She'd had to in order to survive. Although she avoided his hurtful
tongue and threats of physical harm, she had built a shield to protect herself and,
even more, her baby. “You don't need to be my protector anymore, big sister.” She
smiled to show her she meant it, and Fannie gave her one slow nod.

“I don't know if I'm ready to give that up just yet,” she said, rocking back and
forth.

“Someone's coming this way.” Lucy held a hand up and let her face drop. She wasn't
ready to tell her sister about Manny. She was trying her best to hold back any feelings
she had for him. It wouldn't be acceptable, even if things were different. She had
months yet to wait before even considering marrying again, and that would happen
only if the bishop granted her the request. She was relieved when she realized it
wasn't Manny.

“
Mammi
!” Fannie walked quickly to the approaching buggy. The buggy stopped, and Fannie
gave her
mammi
an embrace then turned to hug
Mamm
. It would feel like a small family
reunion—one she wished her
daed
could be a part of.

Lucy waited for them to come closer. She felt like a heifer, waddling around. The
talk she'd had with Fannie worried her a little. She'd made Tennessee sound more
important
than necessary. Her baby would be just fine in
Mammi
's home, getting all
the love and attention she needed.

Mamm
gestured to Lucy. “Come around.”

It was almost as much work to get up and into the buggy as it was to walk, but she
was tired from standing, so she accepted the short ride to the
haus
. “Where have
you two been? I thought sure you'd be here when Fannie got here.”

Mamm
clasped Lucy's hand. “I'm sure you're glad to have your sister here.”
Mamm
understood
in a way, but the bond between Lucy and Fannie wasn't something their
mamm
had the
pleasure to experience. Her bullheaded pride made a close relationship difficult.
It seemed only their
daed
could fill that void.

“
Jah
, it's been much too long.”

Mammi
kept her eyes on the road, not making eye contact with anyone. “I was just
telling Fannie, I found an old quilt I've been meaning to mend while she's here.
Your
mamm
will be leaving soon, so let's work on it while all of us are together.”

Working on these quilts often made Lucy think about her babe. She found herself making
plans in her head, especially about the name. As much as she wanted a girl, she thought
it would be nice to have a namesake for her
daed
. It was all in
Gott
's hands.