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Once clean, Craig lifted his eyes and stared at Jeremy. Jeremy’s lips curled up in a hint of a smirk, giving him a devilish appearance, but there was a seriousness to his expression as well. An intensity which indicated there was nothing amusing about this moment for him.

The combination of his arousal, the intimacy of the moment, the expression on Jeremy’s face, all of it, caused Craig to act. He reached out and cupped his hand around Jeremy’s neck, pulling him in and sealing their lips together. He wrapped his free hand around Jeremy’s waist and pulled their bodies tightly together.

Jeremy allowed his body to mold against Craig’s, pressing his hips forward so their erections dueled with one another as their tongues gained entrance to each other’s mouths. Water and saliva mixed, making the kiss wet and impassioned. Jeremy had always had plump lips, but Craig hadn’t remembered how gentle the soft cushion of his mouth felt pressed against his own. Their tongues danced, twirling against each other, brushing over teeth, massaging palate and gums, as their hands roved up and down each other’s backs, holding them together.

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After what felt like several minutes, they broke apart, both panting for breath. Craig stared at Jeremy, trying to focus. “I’m gonna blow my load.”

Jeremy leaned back against the wall, his head tilted upward. “Me too.” He grabbed his cock and started jerking at it, water pounding down on his head and cascading down his smooth chest. The visual sent Craig into overdrive. Grabbing his own cock, he only had to stroke it twice before he felt the tingling of his orgasm deep inside, starting in his center and quickly travelling out to his throbbing erection and tightened balls. The first wave of his orgasm was drowned out by Jeremy’s cry as his own cock began to jerk, creamy white fluid spewing from the head.

Craig shuddered, his body spasming with pleasure, riveted by Jeremy’s release.

When Jeremy’s body stopped rocking from the after-shock of his orgasm, he lowered his head, amber eyes smoldering with satisfaction. “Holy shit, Craig.”

Heat seared through Craig. He couldn’t believe they had kissed and now they had both come in his shower; his and Robert’s shower. Not knowing what else to say, Craig said the first thing that came to his mind. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Jeremy chuckled. “Play on words aside, you have nothing to apologize for. I started it by coming in here and getting into the shower with you.”

He was glad Jeremy didn’t seem to be freaking out, but the confusion intensified with each passing moment. “Um, I’ve been thinking about you so much, I guess I just needed to get this out of my system.” He knew it was a lie, but it seemed like the right thing to say.

Jeremy smiled. “Don’t worry. All we did was kiss and beat off.”

All we did was kiss and beat off? The words sounded plain enough, but Jeremy’s eyes told a different story. Behind his relaxed exterior was a simmering heat, a flame which had been ignited and which had not gone out. Craig knew exactly how he felt, because he too felt a raging flame that could not be extinguished. “I guess so.”

Jeremy nodded, then stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel from the rack and wrapping it around his waist. “Exactly. Except…” He stepped out of the shower.

“Except?”

“That was better than I remembered it. The kiss I mean.” Jeremy was looking in the mirror as he made the comment, but Craig could see the strain on his face as he glanced at his reflection.

“It was.” Had they just made a huge mistake? Was it going to make things weird between them?

Again, as if he could read Craig’s mind, Jeremy turned to face him. “Look, I know we are both in relationships and shouldn’t have done that, but I don’t want this to make things weird between us. We can manage that, right?” The last question came out more as a plea than an actual question.

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A surge of relief passed through Craig as he stood naked and still fully erect in the shower. He stepped out and grabbed the towel he had placed on the hook, covering himself. “Of course we can. I was just thinking the same thing.”

Jeremy’s smile broadened. “Whew. Do you mind if I borrow some clothes. Now that I’m clean, the idea of getting into my stinking running clothes is very unappealing.”

Craig laughed, “Sure, let’s see what I can give you.”

They both got dressed and spent another ten minutes before Jeremy had to leave. “I need to get going. I told Andrew I’d be home an hour ago. He’s going to be worrying about me by now.”

“Of course.” Hearing Jeremy talk about Andrew stung more than it should have. Of course Andrew would be worrying about him. He was his boyfriend. But now that he had tasted Jeremy once again, he didn’t want to let him go. “I’ll talk to you later and we’ll make plans to get together.” Craig was relieved his voice didn’t betray his sinking spirit.

Jeremy walked up to Craig and placed one hand on either side of his face. “Don’t worry Craig. We’re cool.” He leaned in and kissed him once on the lips. The kiss was quick, friendly, but sent Craig’s head reeling.

Once Jeremy left, Craig walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of orange juice. He then stood by the window and looked out over the West Village. Did that really happen? He couldn’t decide whether he was elated or mortified. Probably a bit of both. They had kissed which was technically cheating. Beating off together was a grey area. Craig didn’t want to think of himself as a cheater. It wasn’t like they’d slept together or anything. He laughed at his attempt to justify his behavior.

It wasn’t the kiss or the beating off that confused him. It was the fact Jeremy had set the stage for them to do so. If Jeremy were really happy with Andrew, would he have come into the shower, would he have asked Craig to soap him? Craig may have been the one to grab Jeremy for the kiss, but there was no resistance. Not one single bit.

Bringing the juice to his lips, he took a big gulp, allowing the fresh orange flavor to fill him. The tang of the citrus cleansed his mouth and for a moment, he felt a pang of regret. He had washed the taste of Jeremy away. Shaking his head, he brought the glass to his lips again, taking another gulp. Hope. It only led to heartache.

* * * * *

Andrew paced around the condo, glancing at his watch every other minute. Where the fuck is he? Jeremy was supposed to be home an hour ago. It seemed ever since he started hanging out with Craig, he had lost a sense of time. It was one thing to want to go for a run. The spring weather carried hints of summer and Jeremy loved to run outdoors. He even understood wanting to run with a friend. And he hadn’t minded the chance to sleep in. But the weekends were the only time he and Jeremy had together, 101

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aside from the few hours each weeknight before they went to bed, and to chew away at the time by spending half the day out, raked on his quickly dwindling patience.

He better come home with some fuckin’ awesome plans for the condo. Surprising himself with the ire of his own thoughts, Andrew hopped into the shower, got dressed, and headed out on his own. He contemplated not leaving a note, but at the last minute, scribbled one on the pad of paper magnetically attached to the fridge. Went to Sidewalk Café. Meet me in East Village if you want. The note was curt and would piss Jeremy off.

The fact that Andrew would choose to go to the East Village without him would be like rubbing salt in an open sore.

When he stepped outside, Andrew was shocked at just how warm the weather was.

This wasn’t just a spring day, it was a cloudless warm day promising the coming of summer heat. His anger still thrumming inside, he decided to walk rather than take a cab to the East Village. It would take him a half hour, but it would give him plenty of time to think. Plus, he hadn’t done nearly enough exploring of his new neighborhood.

Madison Avenue proved to be too crowded. He shouldn’t have been surprised seeing as it was one o’clock on a Saturday, but having to weave in and out of people served as a stimulant to his already frayed nerves. He headed east and, once he arrived at Second Avenue, continued his trek south. Sidewalk Café was on the corner of Second Avenue and Sixth Street. Without the people traffic to distract him, Andrew had time to think.

Despite the beautiful weather which should have cheered him up, Andrew couldn’t keep his thoughts off Jeremy. He normally wouldn’t have been so angry with him, but their relationship had turned into one fight after another lately. In fact, the past two years had been a struggle, not just the past few weeks. Huh. That dates back to my last promotion. When he had first been promoted from portfolio manager assistant to portfolio manager, Jeremy had been excited for him, but that was when they started fighting more often. And then with this promotion to senior portfolio manager, their fighting had escalated even further.

The arguments always centered around money, but somehow Andrew knew it was more than that. He knew he pushed Jeremy to change jobs, but, he didn’t think that was it either. Their problems ran deeper than money and jobs. Something more fundamental was creeping between them, forcing a wedge that was becoming more and more entrenched.

Rather than wondering what was bothering Jeremy, Andrew turned his thoughts inward. He had been proud to achieve his promotions, not simply because of the increased salary, but because of the increased responsibility. He now oversaw bigger accounts and could help to shape future portfolio managers. Far too many people were in the job for the money, not the work of securing people’s futures.

Jeremy had always respected that aspect of his work. Had supported Andrew in his climb. And was proud of his morals and his sincere desire to help others. He hadn’t even complained about the increased hours required with increased responsibility. It wasn’t until Andrew started buying things for him and for their place that Jeremy 102

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started complaining. At first he was appreciative, but it didn’t take long for appreciation to turn to arguments about spending too much money and making Jeremy feel like he couldn’t contribute as much to their lives financially.

The words were about money, but the sentiment wasn’t. How could I have missed that? It was about being equals in a relationship. Instead of regret, anger resurfaced inside him. Why should he have to withhold from the things he could afford? He shouldn’t have to, and the fact Jeremy wanted him to was his problem. The thought caught him off guard. When had he become so callous, so resentful?

He quickened his pace, hoping the extra effort would help to burn off the tension rising within him. Instead, his agitation increased and his mind began to spin faster. He worked hard to earn his promotions and he wanted to be able to enjoy Manhattan.

There was nothing wrong with that. When they had started dating, he and Jeremy had been on even footing in all respects, but didn’t relationships grow and change? People weren’t clones. There were things Jeremy did which Andrew couldn’t hold a candle to.

His patience with kids for starters. Andrew would rather slit his wrists than spend six hours a day in front of twenty seven-year-old kids. But Jeremy loved it. And he brought that nurturing to their home. If Jeremy hadn’t been such a great cook, they would spend a fortune on takeout because Andrew couldn’t cook worth a damn.

Jeremy was the nurturer, the one who made their apartment feel like a home, what made coming home worthwhile.

At least he used to make coming home worthwhile. Until the fighting had begun.

Now, Andrew stayed later at work, dreading what new argument might occur if he dared to order some new piece of furniture or plan a trip somewhere for the two of them. He didn’t want to live his life worrying about how he would piss off his boyfriend. He longed for someone who was moving in the same direction, not necessarily financially, but at least with an ability to enjoy what increased financial stability could bring.

Andrew slowed down, his breathing becoming slightly labored, not from the effort, but from the sudden weight pressing at his chest. That’s it. That’s what the real problem is.

He isn’t growing with me. The realization hit him hard. All this time he had been wondering what he had done wrong to upset Jeremy, to push him away. And the answer had been right there. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Their lives weren’t coming together, they were growing apart.

The thought filled his mind until he couldn’t think of anything else. He glanced around and found he had walked all the way to Fourteenth Street. He was only a block away from Phoenix. Hell, it’s after noon, why don’t a get a drink. I could use one. He turned east on Thirteenth Street and headed to the bar he and Jeremy had frequented when they lived there. It had been a while since he’d been in the neighborhood. Maybe a slice of something familiar would comfort him.

Entering the bar, he was immediately accosted by the dim lighting, a stark contrast from the bright sunshine from outside. He walked over to the bar and ordered a pint of whatever was on tap. Allowing the cool froth to hit his tongue, the bitter sweetness 103

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touching his taste buds and filling his senses, was a welcome distraction from the thoughts which had taken residence in his head. He took a gulp, allowing the fermentation to tickle his throat and fill his stomach. Placing the glass down on the bar with a solid thunk, he emitted an ahh releasing the tension building up within him.