Moonshine (15 page)

             
“I wanted to give you your graduation present.”

             
“I told you not to get me anything.”

             
“I think you are really gonna like this, now come on.” She yanked the tie hanging around my neck and pulled me into the living room.

             
I knew that it was my sister the moment I laid my eyes on her. She didn’t really look a lot like me -besides those eyes, but I guess you just know these things.

             
“Ryker honey, I thought you’d like to meet your sister. This is Valerie and her grandmother Anna.” I just stood there like an idiot. “Ryker,” she nudged me forward.

             
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little shocked.” I stepped forward to shake their hands. Valerie stood up first and I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She was tall and skinny with a reddish brown hair that was way past her shoulders and the cutest little smile.

             
“Nice to meet you,” she said.

             
“Nice to meet you too,” I answered and shook her hand.

             
“Mrs. Scotland, it’s nice to meet you too.” I took her hand.

             
“Forgive me son if I stare, it’s just that the two of you do look an awful lot alike. You have the same dimples when you smile.” I shook her hand. She seemed like a nice old lady, but she was undeniably old and probably too old to be caring for a teenage girl. “Why don’t I help you in the kitchen, Lisa?”

             
“I’d love the help. Thank you.” Momma patted my chest as she left the room. I walked over and took a seat on the couch next to my sister.

             
“So, you’re fifteen, right?” I asked trying to break the ice.

             
“Yeah, but I will be sixteen next month.”

             
“That’s cool. Are you guys gonna be here all night?”

             
“Yeah I think we are gonna head back home first thing in the morning. Your mom was nice enough to let us stay here tonight. Grams can’t drive long distances at night time because she can’t see real well. She won’t let me drive even though I have my instruction permit.”

             
I smiled and relaxed. “Is there a reason she won’t let you? I mean, are you a bad driver?”

             
She laughed. “No, she just thinks that I drive too fast, but this is coming from a woman who has people jogging faster than her car.” I laughed and she did too. This was easy. We could do this.

             
“Well listen, since you are only here for one night, then you should come and hang out with me and my friend. I already had plans before I knew you were here, so if you wanna go I will take you with me.”

             
“Seriously? You do realize I’m your little sister.”

             
“I get it, but we have a lot of years to make up for, and you are only here one night.”

             
“Thanks Ryker, that is real cool of you.” She seemed excited and I was glad she was here. She may be just what I needed to take my mind off of everything, and as long as she is with me I know that I won’t drink myself into a coma.

24

Shine

              Today would have been my high school graduation. Twelve years of hard work and I won’t get to celebrate it. I worked all of those years and got good grades all to graduate in this facility. It seems kind of bittersweet, but the progress I have made here makes up for it. The only thing that was missing today was my cap and gown and I didn’t want to wear that ugly thing anyway. Inside I feel like I have accomplished more here than I did in twelve years of school, and I owe it all to Johnny. Thanks to him I have lost my shell and I have grown so much. He has truly been my saving grace, and in three days he will be leaving the facility. I don’t know how I will make it without him, but I have to. The one on one sessions I have been having with Doctor G have helped me remain focused on my goals.

             
Two knocks on the Doctor G’s door and I just walk right in now. He is always expecting me and I have never walked in on something I shouldn’t. Thank God.

             
“You know the drill,” he sipped his coffee mug and grabbed his notepad. He waited for me to take my seat and he already had his shoes off. This was our thing now. Once I finally got comfortable with the doc he asked if he could take of his shoes. I thought it was weird at first, but it was just his way of showing me that he felt comfort in my presence and I think he wanted me to feel it too. So now it’s just ritual. He has his shoes off and I take off mine and hop onto the couch and get comfortable. I feel like sometimes we should be popping popcorn and watching movies. It’s safety for me and I craved it from the moment I stepped in his office.

             
“What are we talking about today?”

             
“Since your time here is nearing an end, I thought we would discuss your final exam. Do you feel like you are ready to talk to Moon?”

             
“I’m afraid of his reaction, but I know I have to tell him. It’s important for me to heal so I guess that I am as ready as I’ll ever be.” I squeezed the pillow into my chest.

             
“I’m glad to hear that. You have come such a long way. You aren’t that frightened little girl that we first met, you are ready for the world, and I know that when you leave I won’t have to worry about you.”

             
“Thanks, Doc.”

             
“Now,” He tapped his pen on the paper. “What about your parents? They have come to visit you every Sunday. Are you going to be telling them the secret too, or are you fine with the two of them not knowing?” I rubbed the green suede fabric on the pillow back and forth. I wasn’t sure how to answer the question. My thoughts on the situation were up in the air. “Tell me what you are thinking. I can tell the wheels are spinning, and if you rub a hole in my favorite pillow you are buying me a new one.”

             
“I just…” I let out a sigh. “I don’t know what to do. If I tell them they will be devastated. They may get mad at Moon and his mom because of what David did. I don’t want that, but on the other hand I feel like they have never understood why I did it. I feel like I at least owe them an explanation. What if they blame themselves? I mean, we have never really discussed any of this.”

             
“I see both of your points, but let’s talk about them for a second. Put yourself in their shoes. How do you think they feel?” O great. I know this reverse psychology babble.

             
“All right, Smart Guy. I get it. No need to pull out the big guns. I will tell them everything.”

             
He was laughing and snorting. “Oh Shine, you unquestionably make my job so much easier. I don’t even need to work while you are here. I’ll miss you, Kiddo. Don’t tell anyone, but you are my favorite.”

             
“Of course I am.” I took pride in knowing it too. “So when is this whole spill the beans thing taking place?”

             
“Sunday when your parents come to visit,” he stated matter of fact.

             
“That is two days.”

             
“Very good, counting is something to be very proud of.” He winked.

             
“I am serious. I don’t know if I’m that ready.” I used air quotes when I said “that” because I was not kidding.

             
“You are ready. Trust me. Now do you have a way to get Moon here too, or should I call him and schedule it myself.”

             
“No, I know how to do it. Will I be telling them together?”

             
“I’ll leave that up to you. I figured that since Sunday will be Bradley’s last night here that he will be here to comfort you along the way. I know he is your side kick and he will be a good friend for you to have around after you get things off your chest. No more worrying about this because it will be just fine. That is all for today.”

             
“Ugh! I hate when you end it on sour notes.” I started putting my shoes back on.

             
“I know, that is why I do it.” He laughed a fake evil laugh and I just rolled my eyes and headed out the door.

             
I slammed my bedroom door hard when I shut it, because I wanted the whole hallway to hear it. Johnny was already on my bed reading today’s letter and waiting for me.

             
“Bad day with the doc?” he smirked.

             
“You could say that again. Sunday I am having a meeting with my parents and Moon, to tell them my secret. I just don’t know if I’m ready.”

             
“You are ready. Come sit down and let me rub your back. Come on.” He patted the bed between his legs and I went willingly. I sat with my back facing him so that he could work his magic. “You will do just fine. It’s like that big ugly band aid that I have been telling you about that you just have to rip off. Remember?” I just shook my head while he continued to rub. I’ll be right here in this room waiting for you when you are done. I will hug you and rub your back and make sure you don’t freak out. But I’m telling you that you are over those days. You can do this; I have no doubt in my mind. I am the smart one out of the two of us. You are supposed to listen to me.”

             
“O geez…” I rolled my eyes. “Wait a minute. You should be there too.”

             
“What?” he snapped his head around my shoulder and stared at me.

             
“Would you please? Do it for me. You can come and hold my hand.”

             
“You do realize that you haven’t told me the story either.” He brushed the hair back from my eyes.

             
“I know, but it will be okay. I will feel better knowing you are in the room with me. You won’t judge me and I don’t know if they will.” I stuck out my lip. “Mom and Dad have already met you and they love you like I do. They will understand why you are there. I have told them that you are my closest friend. Please Johnny?”

             
“I’ll be there.”

             
“Thank you,” I hugged his neck. “Are we working on things tonight? Is that why you were waiting on me?”

             
“No, I think we have covered everything. You are gonna be just fine out there in the world of hot boys, or at least with the one hot boy that you want to be with.” I took a deep breath. Over the past couple of months Johnny has helped me cope with touch. He has taught me that good things can come from it if you want them to happen. We have explored each other’s bodies in ways that I never thought I would ever be able to do. We haven’t had sex but we have pretty much done everything else. Every time that I have told him to stop because I was scared or uncomfortable he did, without question. Then when I was ready we would try again. He never pushes or expects anything. I have come so far. When David took away my innocence I thought that I would be shattered forever. That I would never enjoy being touched by a man because I would always think of him, but I was wrong. I love to be loved the right way.

             
“I’m sure you are right, but I have been thinking and I want us to have sex. I’m ready to go all the way and I want it to be with you.”

             
“I don’t know about that. You are getting braver by the minute.”

             
“If you don’t want to, I get it. I know it isn’t easy for you but I was just thinking that I have experienced all of my firsts with you and it would be special to me this way. I know that you will be gentle to me and take care of me.”

             
“Someone could catch us Shine.”

             
“They know you’re gay. They never check on us. They don’t worry about you and me together.”

             
“This is crazy. When I thought up this whole plan, I never pictured us going this far. I know how much you love Moon, don’t you want to share this with him?”

             
I took his hand in mine. “I love Moon with all of my heart and I hope that one day I will get to share myself with him, but the truth is that it may never happen. If I do get the chance I don’t want to be so scared that I ruin the moment. I don’t want him thinking that I will always be a broken mess. I want it to be perfect for both of us. You and me, we already have an understanding and a love. We have a friendship that will never be broken and things will never be weird between us. It will be amazing and I can’t imagine sharing this first with anyone else.”

             
“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.”

             
“I can. You love me so much. I see it all over that cute little face of yours.” I pinched his check.

             
“Okay, that ain’t sexy so you better start turning up the heat around here if you plan on getting little Johnny ready.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Come on stand up. Are you sure about this?”

             
“Positive,” I shivered when his fingertips ran down my arm. When his hands brushed the bottom of my shirt he started lifting it over my head until the shirt hit the floor. He slowly took his off too. He closed in on my body with his and kissed me. Both his hands wrapped around my back and before I knew it my bra joined the other clothes on the ground. The kiss was hot and his tongue worked me over. I knew what that thing was capable of and it made me wet just thinking about it. His hand moved slowly up my waist and onto my breast. Working his fingers around my nipples in slow soft circles nearly had me breaking apart right there and he hadn’t even touched me anywhere else. He kissed down my jaw, then my neck, and licked all the way across my collar bone.  It was so sexy and hot. I loved when he did that; it gave me chills. “Are you okay?” he asked.

             
“So good,” was my breathy answer. He smiled when he led me over to the bed. I laid back onto the pillow and watched as he took off the rest of his clothes. He was so gorgeous with his lean body and all those swimmer muscles. I imagine that he won’t have any trouble finding partners when he leaves and I would be just the person to help.

             
“You have on way too many clothes,” he pointed to my jeans. I took them off and threw them on the floor and then took off my panties. I had no shame around him anymore. He had seen and touched it all. He tucked himself up beside me propping up on one arm. He ran his hands down my tummy brushing his fingertips across my throbbing core. My body was on fire with every touch of his fingers. His fingers entered me gently hitting just the right spot. He would take them all the way in then he would come all the way out moving right over my clit. He rubbed in small quick circles massaging me and just when I thought I was at the edge he would go back inside me again. It felt like my nerve endings were burning my skin, and I could hear my deep ragged breaths. I used my free hand to touch him. I wrapped my hand around him and moved it up and down matching his rhythm. Making sure that I massaged his balls because he told me how much he liked it. When his breathing picked up I knew that he was getting close. He moved his hands from my body and I whimpered. I saw him put on the condom and roll it down his hard length. He climbed on top of me and with each leg he pushed my legs farther apart, opening me up wider. He kissed my lips again and down my neck. His hands began to rub me again but this time it was a light touch but it was fast and I was seconds away from coming. “Johnny,” I moaned.

             
“I know,” he said when he quickly slid himself inside me. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly because it all happened so fast. “Open your eyes, Sunshine. It’s me.”

             
I opened them and saw the concern in his eyes. “I’m okay.” I reassured him and kissed his lips.

             
“Keep your eyes open, okay? I want you to always know that it’s me. I am here and I love you.”

             
I did as he said and I’m glad that I did. His movements started off slow until he realized I was okay and then they were quick and amazing, just like I knew they would be. He was so careful and his hands caressed my face the whole time. When we both came over the edge it was the best orgasm ever. I couldn’t stop shaking. “There are no words to describe how I feel right now.” The tears rolled down the sides of my face. “Thank you so much. You don’t know what it feels like to just be able to feel again. I owe you everything.”