My heart constricted for what Luke was enduring, and I said a silent prayer for him to pull through this. It was heart-wrenching to see his mom so inconsolable as she waited to know if he would be okay or not. As my gaze lingered on her, I saw a mother who loved her child even though she had never told him so. If he could just see her now, he would know how much he was loved.
“He’s going to overcome this, Caroline. I just know it. Luke is a fighter, and he loves a good challenge. He’s going to push through and come out on the other side,” I said, hoping to give strength to her as well as myself.
Jim Thompson, Luke’s father, came around the corner, and he wrapped his arms around his wife to comfort her before addressing us.
“Lily,” Jim said with sadness in his voice, “thank you for being here.”
“Of course,” I replied and gestured to Kyle. “And this is Kyle, my boyfriend.”
Kyle reached forward. “Sorry to hear about your son, Mr. Thompson.”
Jim nodded. He was a bit dry on the outside, but his eyes could not lie. He was in emotional turmoil at the possibility of losing his son.
We all moved into the waiting room. Chairs outlined the large room followed by a few rows evenly spaced in the center. CNN was on the two TVs hanging from the corners of the room. I was in no mood to watch the news. It would only be filled with more heartache.
Jim and Caroline took seats next to each other, and Kyle and I sat across from them on a blue leather bench. I leaned into Kyle’s side, needing his strength and support. He comforted me in a way no one else could.
***
I shifted restlessly, waiting and praying. As the hours passed by in slow motion, I continued waiting and praying. It was a vicious cycle.
Kyle had left to get me food from the cafeteria, and he came back with food and a bag from the hospital’s gift shop
.
Sitting beside me, he handed me a ham sandwich, but I only managed to take a few bites. My nerves were too shot to eat. However, a little bit of food in my stomach felt better than nothing.
Kyle opened the bag beside him. He pulled out a white blanket with the hospital name printed across the lower half and a bright purple pillow with fuzz sticking up all over it. It looked like it had been electrocuted. I raised my eyebrows in question.
He let out a quiet laugh. “It was all they had, except for an ugly yellow-and-brown striped one.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’ve seen your childhood room now, and I think this would have fit your teenage years.” He smirked.
Grabbing the pillow, I gently smacked him with it. I was thankful that he had stopped my mind from going crazy with worry even if it was only for a few brief seconds.
My body was exhausted. I slipped off my flip-flops and stuck the wild purple pillow against a lethal metal bar that was trying to prevent my snuggling. I curled up against Kyle’s side and covered myself with the blanket.
My thoughts drifted to Luke. I could not bear the thought of losing him. He was my family, and I could not survive any more loss.
***
Shortly after one in the morning, a woman in white scrubs and a taller woman in pink scrubs entered the waiting room, and we all jumped to our feet.
“Jim and Caroline Thompson?” the tired-looking woman verified.
“Yes?” Caroline answered, tears filling her eyes.
She was clearly scared of the unknown. I was sure we all looked the same way. My heart pounded frantically, pumping blood against my temples.
“I’m Dr. Liv Bakely. We successfully drained the subdural hematoma during surgery.”
I expelled the breath I had been holding, hoping the good news would continue.
“But I will be honest. Luke has a long forty-eight hours ahead of him in the ICU. The next twelve hours are extremely critical. The internal bleeding was also very significant. He is very lucky to be alive. The EMT care he received truly saved his life thus far. I will be checking on him hourly throughout the rest of the night. I will update you if there are any changes in his progress.” She gestured to the nurse beside her. “Nurse Havis will be taking care of your son. She will be back to get you after Luke has been transferred to a private room, and you can go in two at a time to see him.”
“Thank you, Dr. Bakely. You have given me the greatest gift.” Caroline hugged her.
Dr. Bakely’s eyes widened at the contact, but she quickly recovered and softened. “I can’t be certain yet, Caroline, but I have high hopes.”
***
As time ticked by slowly, we all impatiently sat in our chairs, waiting for the nurse to come back and tell us we could see Luke.
Jim and Caroline jumped from their seats when Nurse Havis appeared from around the corner. After Jim and Caroline left to visit with their son, Kyle softly rubbed my shoulders as we continued to wait.
Once Luke’s parents came back, my heart began to pound when it was our turn. I walked in with measured footsteps, and Kyle was right on my heels. When I made my way to the threshold, I caught my first glimpse of Luke. I stopped suddenly, and Kyle bumped into my backside, which slightly jostled me forward. His hands quickly snaked around my waist to steady me.
“Easy there,” he said softly.
I barely registered his words as I took in the sight before me. There were machines everywhere. A breathing tube was in Luke’s mouth, and the other end was connected to one of the machines next to the wall. Small colored cords ran out from under his hospital gown to other machines around his bed. A clear bag filled with liquid hanging near his bed appeared to be pumping fluids into the IV on his arm.
Luke’s head was bandaged heavily. His face was so pale and he looked like he had experienced so much pain and trauma. Bruises were forming across his forehead and along his right cheek, and I noticed a large gash on his face.
I let out a small cry, taking in my dear friend before me. Kyle’s hands ran up and down my arms in a soothing movement. I turned into his embrace and wrapped my arms around his neck. He hugged me back and gave me a moment to collect myself while his hands made soft strokes along my back.
“Are you ready?” he asked quietly as he shifted back to look at my face. His hand came to my cheeks, and he wiped my tears away with his thumbs.
I took a deep breath and nodded.
I somehow managed to put one foot in front of the other to make it to Luke’s bedside. Two chairs were next to the bed. I sat in the first one, closest to Luke, and Kyle took the seat next to me.
I noticed Luke’s right hand on the blanket, and I put my hand on top of his. I wanted all the strength from my body to pour into his. I wanted to heal all of his wounds and make him whole. I wanted to tell him I had witnessed how much his parents truly loved him even if they could not voice it out loud themselves.
I looked up at Luke again, wanting to see my beloved happy and high-spirited friend. Instead, I was staring at a man who was struggling for his life. Tears started to blur my vision. Leaning forward, I rested my arm on the bed, and I buried my face in my forearm, letting the tears flow freely.
After a few minutes, my tear ducts were empty. Instead of feeling drained and powerless, I felt an odd sense of strength and courage that ran bone deep. Wordlessly, I stood and bent over Luke. I delicately brushed off a piece of blanket fuzz from his left cheek. He had seen me at the lowest point in my life and had been my friend anyway. He needed me to be strong, not weak.
“Your family and friends are not ready to let you go, Luke. You are a fighter, and you will overcome this,” I told him, hoping he could hear my words on some level.
Kyle stood next to me with his hand on the small of my back. His looked at me with admiration. “Ready?” he asked quietly.
“Yes.”
After we were back in the hallway, Jim and Caroline told us that they would be staying at the hospital to see Luke through the next critical twelve hours. I understood their reasoning. If it were my child, I would stay for as long as it took to see his or her eyes open again.
***
Kyle had booked the closest hotel, and it was time for us to get some well-needed rest. Including traveling, it had been a long seventeen hours, and we needed to rejuvenate in our own personal space.
We checked into the hotel and made our way into the room. The coolness of the air should have awakened me with its chill. Instead, I felt too tired to be bothered by it. The only thing that mattered was the bed calling to me from the center of the room.
I quickly stripped out of my shirt and pants. I was just about to dig into my suitcase when I heard the water running in the bathroom. A shower sounded so wonderful, considering I had not taken one before flying out the door like a madwoman this morning.
I removed the rest of my clothing on the way to the bathroom, and then I stepped into the stall behind Kyle. The steam from the hot shower immediately soothed my skin. I watched the water pour over Kyle’s shoulder and down his back. His muscles were drawn tight, full of tension.
He tilted his head to the side, shifting his shoulder slightly, as he glanced at me. I ran my hands up his back, and he took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. I reached around him to grab the soap. I lathered it in my hands, and without speaking, I washed his entire backside.
The steam around us increased with each passing minute. Placing my hand on his upper arm, I turned him to face me. Wordlessly, his eyes studied me as my palms glided over his arms, his chest, and then his firm stomach.
I knew the conversation we were both waiting for, but I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to show him the differences between a man I loved like a brother and the man I loved with my whole heart. I belonged to Kyle. Nothing would ever change that.
Kyle’s eyes looked into mine as his hands gripped onto my waist, and he pushed me against the shower wall. It was cool and hard against my back. He leaned over my body and placed his forearms on the wall, caging me in. His breathing deepened. His body radiated strength and dominance. His eyes were dark with anger and hurt, but he quickly masked his emotions.
I was not intimidated by him, but I feared verbalizing the depths of my feelings for him. It was easier for me to show him how I felt. The silence was thick.
My hands were flat against my sides, and my heart was pounding wildly in my chest. I continued to search his eyes, trying to see if this was going to turn into a fight.
I could not take the tension anymore. “Are you okay?” I asked.
I should have felt cold since I was no longer under the warm water. Instead, my body was on fire. To say I was hot and bothered was a dramatic understatement.
Kyle hesitated before speaking, like he was trying to find the right words. His forearm above my head flexed as he fought for control. “I just watched you cry while leaning over another man’s bedside.” His dark eyes bore into mine. “How do you think I am? Do you—”
His voice was hard, and I did not like it one bit.
“Stop it,” I cut in. “I don’t love him that way. I never have, and you know it. I need you to understand that.”
“You just dropped everything and jumped on a plane at a moment’s—”
Boldly, I cut him off again. “I would have done the same for you or Brooke or any of my family members.” I would not tolerate him questioning my friendship with Luke. I let out a short cry as I dropped my eyes to his chest. The realization of why I felt as strongly as I did dawned on me. “I know what it’s like to never get the chance to say good-bye to the people you love,” I whispered, looking back up into his eyes. “It’s the most awful feeling in the world, and worse, you have no power to change it. It makes you feel heartache and loneliness that is unshakable.”
Kyle’s eyes immediately softened. He exhaled, lowering his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so damn sorry that you have had to suffer so much sorrow,” he said quietly with pain in his voice.
I did not want to talk about that. I wanted to push it aside and think of all the things I did have in my life. Needing our bodies to be pressed against one another, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. I sighed when I felt the warmth of his chest brush along my wet skin. It was heavenly. His presence could take me to my special place.
Kyle nuzzled the side of my neck as he made soft kisses up to my earlobe. He sucked the lobe into his mouth and then tugged the end between his teeth.
I shivered in response. I felt the sensation start at the tip of my spine. It traveled through my stomach and then found that sweet spot in my groin. My sex began to throb with need for attention. My mind begged for distraction from the pain and sadness, wanting comfort.
I put my palm on his shoulder and gently pushed back. His eyes narrowed slightly, mostly showing confusion as to why I was resisting him. Our heavy breaths matched each other. I stared back, giving him reassurance and asking him for what I needed.
I wanted him to feel my love for him. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me. This time, I wanted to be in control of our lovemaking.
Kyle arched a playful eyebrow as if he were reading my silent thoughts. A husky growl escaped his chest. He wasn’t going to give up control without a fight. I laughed and shook my head. I would not let him win. He took a small step forward, his eyes flaring with wicked promise. He was challenging me, thinking that I would cave. I almost did because he looked so damn sexy, too damn sexy.
No, no, no.
I grinned inwardly. Kyle would have to learn this give-and-take thing.
We shall practice…starting now.
As he took another step forward, I threw him off his game as I swiftly lowered to my knees. He inhaled sharply as the tip of his erection met my lips. I deliberately lowered my mouth around his length and then pulled back. When I released him, my lips made a soft popping noise.
I glanced up at Kyle, and he glared at me with sensual threat, but he was still surrendering.
“You can have your way…this time.” His voice was raw.
I smiled sweetly.
And many more,
I added silently. Proving my point rather than voicing it, I took his hard erection back into my mouth. I went past the tip and halfway down the base while pulling in my cheeks tight. I wanted it to be intense for him.