My Heart is Yours (4 page)

“About what? Sam?” Matt asked

“Why would you say that?” Jason lit his
cigarette.

“‘Cuz you’re always thinking about Sam.” Matt took
the lighter from Jason and lit his own cigarette.

“No I’m not.” Jason shook his head and stuck his
lighter in his back pocket.

“Course you are.” Matt smirked.

Jason didn’t answer; he was looking around the park.
It was almost eleven o’ clock at night and no one else was around,
the pond was still and there was only a faint light coming from the
moon that was peeking out from behind the clouds.

“I’ve never actually said I like Sam.” Jason said,
turning to Matt. His black hair hung in his eyes.

“Will you ever say you like Sam? ‘Cuz I know you
do.” Matt asked, brushing his own overgrown bangs out of his
eyes.

“You’re dying for me to say that aren’t you, kid?”
Jason couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, yeah.” Matt nodded. “Cuz everyone except Sam
has been able to tell you like her since you two were about
twelve.”

Jason laid back on the damp grass. “Okay.” he said.
“I like Sam. A lot.”

Matt smiled. “You finally admit it.” He said. “So
when are you gonna tell her?”

“Tell her?” Jason nearly choked.

“Yeah, tell her.” Matt laughed.

“Probably never.”

Matt’s brow furrowed. “Why not?”

“She doesn’t like me the same way I like her.” Jason
shrugged.

“You don’t know that. Besides, I think she does like
you.” Matt said. Jason narrowed his eyes; Matt was pretty eager for
Jason to start dating his sister. He guessed that it sort of made
sense. Better for his sister to be with someone that he’s known his
whole life and knows is a good guy.

“You don’t know that for sure.” Jason said.

“No, but you don’t know for sure that she
doesn’t
like you. But I know how you can find out.” Matt
voice got brighter.

“How?” Jason asked just to humor him.

“Talk to Juliana. She is Sam’s best friend.” Matt’s
young face lit up like this was the best idea in the world.

“Maybe someday.” Jason answered with a small
smile.

Matt sighed. “I hope it’s someday soon.”

Jason took another puff of his cigarette and looked
up at the sky where the moon had just come out from behind the
clouds.

Sam sat on her comfy bed scribbling furiously in the
journal she’d gotten for her sixteenth birthday. The dim overhead
light didn’t do much so she wrote by the light of her beside lamp.
It rested on a scratched up oak wood nightstand that had a drawer
that stuck.

I can’t believe John thinks I like Jason. Why would
he accuse me of that? I’ve known Jason just as long as I’ve known
the rest of the guys. Since I was six years old and Mom and Dad
adopted me. It’s been ten years. Besides Craig, John and Matt there
are three guys I could like out of our “gang”. Jason, Shawn or
Chris. So why would he pick Jason out of them? I guess because,
well, Shawn spends a fair amount of his time in jail and Chris, he
likes to get drunk off his ass every weekend. But they’re still
good guys.

Jason’s so shy and quiet. He hardly ever says
anything. Unless it’s just me, him and Matt. Or just him and Matt.
He talks to Shawn sometimes, and occasionally to John. But almost
anyone can talk to John; he’s easy to talk to. And when it’s just
Jason and I we can talk for hours.

John even thinks that Jason likes me. He’s
completely insane. Jason doesn’t like me like that and I don’t like
Jason like that. We’re just really good friends, but . . . but not
that good, not anything more than really good friends. Nothing more
. . . that’s it.

At least, I think that’s it. I’ve known him almost
my whole life, and we’ve been best friends. John and Jason are the
two guys out of our “gang” that I’ve always been closest to.

Jason
is
sweet, smart,
and funny. And cute. He understands me. I can talk to him about
anything. Maybe I do like him, just a little. No, no, he’s just a
friend, just . . . one of my best friends.

***

“W
ake up!” The shout
came from right next to Sam’s ear.

“Please tell me I’m dreaming.” Sam muttered as she
rolled over in her bed.

“No, you’re not! Get up! Get up! Get up!”

“John?’

“Yes, it’s your loving big brother, John! Come on
Sam, get up!” He shouted.

“Why? I’m tired, leave me alone. And why are you
jumping on my bed?”

“So you’ll wake up! Come on, it’s 9:24!”

“It’s also Saturday, which is exactly why I should
be asleep!” Sam yelled the last word through the covers.

“What’s today’s date?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care. Go away!” She turned
away from him.

“It’s June 12
^th
! Your birthday! You’re
seventeen!”

“No, I’m not. Today’s the eleventh.”

“No, it’s the twelfth! And you’re seventeen!”

Sam glanced over at the calendar hanging near the
window in her room. Friday, June 11
^th
had been crossed
off. It was her birthday. She hated it when John was right. But she
did like that it was her birthday.

Sam turned over and smiled at John, who had stopped
jumping on the bed. She pushed her hair out of her face. “I hate it
when you’re right.” She said.

He reached over and messed up her hair. “Come on,
get up.” He got up and walked to Sam’s bedroom door. “Oh and by the
way, happy birthday
baby
sis.” He said before closing her
door. Sam shook her head with a grin and pushed the covers off of
herself.

“John.” Matt said when he walked into the living
room yawning. “Why did you make us get up at 9:30?”

“‘Cuz I’m excited.” He did a hop, skip and a jump
over to the kitchen.

“It’s not even your birthday.”

“So?” He shrugged.

Matt shook his head. “Forget it.”

Sam came out into the living room brushing her
hair.

“I’m up, are you happy?” She asked John.

“Yep.”

“Why’d you make me get up at 9:30?” She pulled the
hair out of the brush and dumped it into the bathroom garbage
pail.

“‘Cuz the guys and Juliana and Derek are coming over
for a little party kinda thing, and Shawn has to go into work at
1:00, and he wanted to be able to come.”

“I don’t need a party.” Sam offered a small
smile.

“It’s not a party, it’s just the guys, Juliana and
Derek, and Craig’s gonna make his famous cake.”

“That’s sweet. Thanks.” She headed to her room to
put the hairbrush where it belonged.

“No problem. You know I love my baby sister.” He
smirked.

Sam kept trying to help out in the kitchen, but
Craig refused to let her. So she settled onto one of their white
kitchen chairs and continued reading her book.

Soon the whole gang had arrived. Juliana and Derek
came together. Juliana gave Sam a tight hug and Derek kissed her on
the cheek. Sam knew that Derek sort of liked her but she had never
felt that way about him.

Shawn and Chris arrived. The screen door slammed
shut behind them. None of the guys ever knocked. Sam was still
sitting in a chair reading, and they both hugged her from behind,
making her almost jump out of her skin. They teased her saying,
“Our little baby girl’s growing up.”

Then Jason came. Sam was in the kitchen with
everyone else when she heard the door close.

“Hey.” She smiled seeing Jason as she walked into
the living room.

“Hey.” He smiled back. Sam’s hair was down,
partially hiding her face.

They met in the middle of the room. “Happy
Birthday.” He said.

“Thanks.” She reached out to hug him. She wrapped
her arms around his neck and he wrapped his around her waist.
Usually, the annual hug she got for her birthday only lasted about
five seconds, but this time Jason couldn’t seem to let go of Sam
and Sam didn’t want him to. She thought about that night a year ago
when John had accused her of liking Jason. Maybe he was right.

Jason’s eyes were closed, but he could smell the
sweet scent of Sam’s hair mingled with the scent of her perfume. He
imagined himself kissing her, holding her in his arms for real.

They pulled away from each other, but not a lot. Her
arms were still wrapped around his neck and his were still around
her waist. Their faces were only about an inch apart.

“Hi.” Sam whispered.

“Hi.” Jason breathed back.

If, what they both were thinking was going to
happen, happened, it would be Sam’s first kiss. Jason’s too.

The moment seemed to last an eternity. They leaned
in closer, their lips just barely touching, brushing against each
other, then . . .

“Sam!”

They jumped apart like two magnets repelling each
other.

John eyed them a little suspiciously. “Come on, it’s
time to sing Happy Birthday.” He nodded his head in the direction
of the kitchen. His perfect hair swung into his eyes.