My Heart is Yours (5 page)

Sam looked at Jason one last time, a hint of longing
in her eyes and walked away.

Jason stayed where he was. His shoulders sagged. It
had almost happened, and he didn’t know when he’d get another
chance.

“Jason, ya’ coming?” Someone who might have been
Shawn called from the kitchen.

“Yeah.” He said. He walked into the kitchen and the
chorus of “Happy Birthday” started.

***

“W
hat was going on with
you and Jason?” Juliana asked Sam. The party was over and Juliana
and Sam were in Sam’s room studying. They had a big history test
soon.

“What are you talking about?” Sam stared down at a
chart on the page she was on.

“You guys were acting so weird around each other at
the party.” She said, turning a page in her history textbook.

“Oh, um . . . I . . . we . . .” Sam tilted her head
to the side. She opened and closed her mouth several times.

“Did you have a fight?” Juliana’s voice rose an
octave.

“No, we . . . we didn’t have a fight.” Sam shook her
head, her light hair falling into her eyes.

“What happened?” Juliana asked.

“Nothing.” Sam shrugged.

“Sam, come on, I’m not dumb. I’m in all those
advanced classes with you.” She joked. “What happened?” She nudged
Sam’s arm.

Sam bit her lip and hesitated. “We almost
kissed.”

A huge smile spread across Juliana’s face. “Oh my
god, really? Finally! After all these years? You two finally-wait,
almost kissed?”

“Yes, almost.” Sam nodded.

“Almost? Why almost?” Juliana pouted.

“Well, just as we were about to kiss John came
in.”

“Oh, crap.” Juliana’s eyes widened at the
thought.

“Yeah.” Sam sighed.

“Hey, Jason.” John sat down next to him on the bench
in the park. The red paint was chipping.

“Hi.” He lit a cigarette and handed one to John.

“You two okay?” John asked, lighting up.

“Who?” Jason asked as he put his cigarette to his
lips.

“You and Sam.” John blew a puff of smoke out.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Why?”

“Well, you two acted really weird around each other
at her party. And when I walked into the living room it looked like
you two were about to . . .”

“About to what?” Jason swung his head to face
John.

“It looked like you two were about to kiss.” John
said. Jason was silent, looking out onto the setting sun. The
oranges and reds bled across the sky.

“Were you?”

Jason looked at him for a second, his dark brown
eyes thoughtful, deciding if he should tell John the truth.

“Yeah.” He said finally. “We were.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Jason tried to blow a smoke ring. “‘Cuz you walked
in.”

“So?” John asked.

Why do Sam’s brother seem so interested in us
being together?
Jason thought. “Do you really think I was gonna
kiss your younger sister in front of you?” He raised an eyebrow at
John.

“I don’t know. Maybe . . . no, you definitely
wouldn’t.” John deflated.

“Did you want him to kiss you?” Juliana asked.

Sam smiled, remembering how their lips just barely
touched. “Sam?”

“Yeah, I did.” She said.

“I knew it. You’ve been head over heels for that boy
since you were twelve.”

“I have not.”

“Oh, please!”

“Fine. I have.” Sam admitted finally.

“That’s so cute.”

“Cute?” Sam raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, I want you guys to end up together. You’d be
such an adorable couple and you’re so crazy about each other.”

“Wow.” John said.

“What?” Jason asked.

“I just know you two have been crazy about each
other since you were twelve.”

“No we haven’t.” Jason shook his head.

“Jason, come on.” John smirked.

“Alright, I’ve been crazy about Sam since I was
twelve. But I don’t know if she’s been crazy about me since she was
twelve.” Jason shook the ashes from his cigarette onto the
ground.

“She has been. Trust me.” John nodded at Jason.

Jason smiled in spite of himself. “Really?”

“Would I lie to you?” John gestured with both hands
to himself, raised his eyebrows and flipped his hair out of his
eyes.

“No.” Jason answered.

“I told you she liked you.” John smiled.

Jason’s smile widened. “Hey, why’d you say ‘wow’?”
he asked suddenly.

“Huh? Oh, I don’t know. Even though I know you two
are crazy about each other, I never thought the day would come when
you two would kiss.” He put out his cigarette in the glass ashtray
on the rickety table next to him.

“It hasn’t come yet.” Jason said.

“Well, I know, but you
almost
kissed, and
that’s a start.”

Jason sighed. “I guess so.”

“Do you think you guys will ever kiss?” Juliana
asked Sam.

“I don’t know.” Sam answered. She stared at a spot
just over Juliana’s head of dark red hair. “I hope so.”

The next day was the last day of classes. It was
lunch time and Sam was hanging out with John in the cafeteria. The
chatter around them was like a hive of bees.

“You happy school’s over?” John asked her.

“No.” She answered as she took a bite of pizza.

“Yeah, stupid question. But aren’t you at least
looking forward to summer?” He handed her a napkin.

“Kind of. But you don’t have summer work. I do.” She
said with her mouth full.

“That’s because you chose to be smart and take
advanced classes.” He picked up a handful of fries and stuffed them
into his mouth.

“I know.” Sam said, shaking her head. “How dumb of
me.” She grinned and shook her head again, her hair falling around
her shoulders.

“Hey.” Jason sat down across from Sam. He didn’t
have a lunch tray. He probably didn’t have money again.

“Hey.” She said smiling. She slid her container of
fries over to him. Their hands touched and they stayed together
like that for a moment. He smiled softly at her and picked up a
fry.

Sam and Jason didn’t talk to each other much that
day, but Jason walked her home like he’d done every day since fifth
grade. The walk was only ten minutes or so but everyone insisted
that Sam have someone walk her home. She and Jason talked and
laughed and smiled shyly at each other as they walked the ten
minutes to her house. There seemed to be some silent agreement
between them to not talk about their almost-kiss.

The moonlight shone in through the curtains in Sam’s
room as she sat on her bed listening to the music of Elvis Presley
singing, “Can’t Help Falling in Love” float in her room through the
living room wall. She opened the journal that she’d gotten for her
sixteenth birthday. There were about twenty pages left. She flipped
to a clean page and began to write.

My seventeenth birthday was fun. John put together a
little party for me with the guys and Juliana and Derek. There was
a delicious cake. A few gifts. Jason and I almost kissed. That was
different…unexpected, I guess. Or maybe not. Except then, John
walked in. Just as our lips touched, my brother walked in. Great. I
thought that I didn’t like Jason but I really wanted to kiss him
today. Maybe I was just in denial. Why, though? I don’t know. Who
knows. Kissing him would’ve been a nice birthday gift, though. When
I saw him at school neither of us brought it up, though, Maybe it’s
better that way.