My Heart is Yours (7 page)

“And then I think about you-” She was rushing her
words again. The moonlight shone through the curtains into her
room. It touched her face and hair, making them light up.

“Me?”

“-and you’re dad.” The words poured from her mouth
like acid.

“Oh.” Jason’s voice turned dark.

“I’m sorry.” Sam squeezed his hand.

“Why?” He asked as he looked at the journal on her
dresser.

“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to bring up your dad.”
She stuttered over her words and a small hiccup escaped her
lips.

“It’s okay, Sam.” There was a silence, except for
the sound of Sam’s sobs. “Why would your dream remind you of me and
my dad?”

“Jason, I’m not stupid. I know your dad beats you.”
She hiccupped again and sobbed even harder. Long sobs ripped
through her body. She couldn’t stand the fact that Jason’s father
beat him. She cared about Jason so much, and she’d seen the bruises
on his arms and face, even seen him get beaten a few times
(although he didn’t know she saw). She hated his father, like she’d
never hated anyone before, even her biological parents.

“I hate it. At least I got away, at least I only had
to deal with a few years of it, you haven’t gotten away yet.” She
finally allowed herself to look at him.

Jason’s eyes were closed. He hated it too, and his
father. But what he hated even more was thinking that Sam ever had
to go through the same thing. He remembered his mom, too scared to
say anything about what his dad was doing to her, and then she got
cancer and died when he was seven years old, and his father started
beating him.

“Don’t worry about me.” He said to Sam, who was
still sobbing into his shoulder, her tears soaking through his
brown shirt. “I’ll be fine; I won’t be living there forever. Shh .
. . it’s okay Sam.” He wanted more than anything for Sam to know
how much he cared about her, how much he loved her.

He blinked. Did he love her?

He did. He did love her. He’d always loved her and
he always would, but he was pretty sure this wasn’t the right time
to tell her.

Sam loved the way Jason’s voice sounded, the way he
comforted her, and the way his arms felt around her, making sure
she was safe. The words “I love you” almost tumbled out of her
mouth.

“Shhh . . . shhh . . . everything’s fine,
everything’ll be okay.” He said softly.

Then, with Sam still in his arms, he laid back on
the pillow she’d put next to her bed, pulling the blue sheet
partially over them.

Sam, with the sound of Jason’s voice, and the feel
of him stroking her hair, cried herself to sleep in his arms.

***

J
ohn knocked on Sam’s
bedroom door the next morning. There was no answer. He knocked
again. Nothing. He knocked one more time. Still no answer.

“Sam?” He opened the door slowly. “Sam?”

He looked at her bed, saw the sheets pulled down,
but no Sam. Then he looked to the floor next to her bed.

Both Jason and Sam were lying there, with her blue
sheet partially covering them.

Sam had her head and her left hand on his chest.
Jason had one arm wrapped around her waist and one on the back of
her head, over her blonde hair.

Damn it.
John thought to himself.
Did
they-?
He shook his head.
If they did Craig’ll go
ballistic.

“Sam?!”

Sam opened her eyes, looked up at Jason, who had
begun opening his eyes; they looked at John and sat up. They sprung
away from each other.

“John.” Sam said, but she stopped there. By the
expression on John’s face, she knew he thought that she and Jason
had slept together. Now she was lost for words.

“Sam-” John began, choosing his words carefully.
“What’s Jason doing in your room?”

“Nothing.” Sam and Jason said in unison.

“Nothing. Really?” John asked.

“Well, no, not nothing . . . something.” Sam said.
“But not the something you’re thinking of.” She added hastily.

“Yeah.” Jason said. “Nothing like that
happened.”

“Uh-huh.” John said slowly.

“John.” Sam said, getting up and sitting on the edge
of her bed.

“What?”

“You do believe me, right? Nothing happened.”

“I don’t know.” He glanced at Jason.

“John!” Sam threw her hands up in the air and let
them fall to the bed.

“John-” Jason began, sitting on the bed, far away
from Sam. “We’re telling the truth. Nothing like that
happened.”

John pulled up Sam’s desk chair and sat in front of
Sam and Jason. “Then what did happen?”

“Um, well, Jason was sleeping on a bench in the park
outside.”

“So Sam came over to me and told me it was too cold
outside and to come sleep at your house.”

“But it was still really cold in the living room, so
I told him he could sleep in my room.”

“She would’ve asked you, or Craig, or Matt to let me
sleep in one of your rooms, but you guys were already asleep.”

“Yeah, so I put some blankets and pillows on the
floor next to my bed, so he could sleep there. Jason actually
thought Craig would get mad, but I told him it was fine. So, don’t
get mad at Jason.”

John looked from Sam to Jason. Both of their eyes
were wide in something close to terror. Although, Jason looked much
more terrified than Sam.

“So . . . why were you two . . . on the floor . . .
together?” John asked, trying not to think about how weird that
question sounded.

Sam’s face transformed. She bowed her head and her
eyes fell to her lap. Jason glanced at her.

“I heard Sam moving in her sleep and when she woke
up, I, noticed she was crying.” He said.

He glanced at Sam, who refused to meet his or John’s
gaze.

“She had a nightmare.” Jason continued. “About your
parents and her biological parents.”

“So, she sat next to me on the floor to tell me
about her nightmare. And she got really upset and started crying
again. I guess we must have fallen asleep.” Jason didn’t mention
the part about his father.

“Which nightmare was it?” John asked.

Sam looked up reluctantly. “The same one.” She
shrugged.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were still having that
nightmare?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

John smiled a little. “You are the most stubborn
person I’ve ever met.”

She rolled her eyes.

“So nothing happened?” He asked.

“Nothing happened.” Sam said again.

John looked from Jason to Sam, and then half-smiled,
got up, kissed the top of Sam’s head and walked out of her bedroom.
Blatantly leaving the door open behind him.

Sam got up to go help make breakfast. Jason followed
her, but before they got into the living room, he gently grabbed
her wrist and said “Sam, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Jason, I’m fine.”

He didn’t look very convinced.

She smiled. “Really, I am.”

“Oh, and-” she stood on the tips of her toes and
kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks.”

***

***

T
hey walked into the
house at the end of Sam’s street. The country music was
blasting.

“Do you see him?” Sam asked Jason. She had to nearly
yell to make her voice heard.

They were looking for Chris. Shawn told them that he
ran into Chris on the way to their house and he had told him about
this party. Shawn was drunk on Sam’s couch when she and Jason came
home from the movies (they liked to see movies when they could).
His dad kicked him out again so of course he went straight to Sam’s
house and then straight to their fridge to get the beer. He had
heard Chris talking about that party and knew he would just get
himself into trouble. He asked Sam and Jason to go look for him.
They only went looking for him to keep him from getting arrested
again.

“No. Wait, yeah, he’s over there. Sam, wait!” She
had already started walking toward Chris.

“Sam!” Jason had just caught up to her.

“Sorry.” She said. Jason grabbed her hand to keep
them together.

“Geez, how many people are here?” Sam asked as they
wove their way through the crowd, most of which were drunk. Sam
could feel her cheeks turning red, Jason’s hand felt warm on hers.
She didn’t want him to let go. But as soon as that thought ran
through her head his hand slipped from hers.

Someone had just wrapped their arm around her waist
and pulled her toward them.

“Heeey.” A tall, skinny, messy brown haired, green
eyed guy was standing in front of her, keeping a tight hold on her
waist. Sam coughed and felt like she was going to throw up. His
breath smelled so heavily of alcohol. He took a sip from the bottle
of beer he was holding.

“Hey, baby.” He said.

“Get away from me.” She tried to break away, but he
wrapped his other arm around her waist.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

Damn it.
Sam thought to herself. W
here’s
Jason?

“Don’t you wanna kiss?” He said, trying to pull her
closer.

“No! Damn it! Let
go
of me!” She struggled to
break free of his grasp.

Just as he was about to kiss her, Sam felt a
different pair of hands on her waist, pulling her away from him.
The next thing she saw was Jason, with his arms wrapped tightly
around her waist.

“She’s with me.” He said, and they turned around to
go find Chris.

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” They heard the messy brown
haired guy say. He put a hand on Sam’s shoulder; Jason pushed it
away. “Hey, lay off!”

He didn’t lay off. He tried to pull Sam back toward
him. Finally, Jason turned around and punched him in the face.
There was a sickening cracking sound and blood gushed from the
drunken guy’s nose all over his shirt.

“You broke my nose!” He yelled, his speech garbled
by his broken nose and the blood dripping down into his mouth.