My Love Break (13 page)

DAMIAN

The morning wouldn’t come fast enough. Darkness still swallowed the sky.

“Elaine, I need you to arrange for Gretchen’s departure back to the States.”

“Why don’t you have Risa do it?”

I wasn’t in the mood to be questioned, least of all by my guardian. I’d suffered the Devil’s temper last night after Risa left. It was so bad that Gretchen lasted all of five minutes before she made herself scarce.

Where she ultimately slept remained a mystery. I didn’t have it in me to feel the slightest remorse.

Fair or unfair, a significant part of me blamed Gretchen for last night’s debacle. She knew as well as I did that our relationship had run aground long before my ‘accident’.

Gretchen had no right to ask to come to New York. We didn’t live in the same city for a reason.

I valued my space and my privacy. To the extreme. I wasn’t interested in spending all my free time with whoever I was fucking. I learned early on women had an irritating wont to demand dominion over my evenings—especially if they lived in the same city.

Hence, my relationship with Gretchen had been satisfying. The operative word being ‘had’.

Now she demanded more. I wanted less.

What I really wanted I couldn’t have. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

My conversation with Risa plagued me. If she was jealous then that was something I wanted to explore.

But then I fucked it up royally.

I hadn’t intended to say what I did to her at the end. I hadn’t meant for things to be so final. So why did I bring it up? Especially since I didn’t want the boundaries of employer and employee to come between us.

I wanted to force her to admit to her feelings for me. I wanted to explore my fixation on her.

Instead, I caged us with bars of respectability and purpose. It was a severe miscalculation on my part. I’d yet to discover a way to rectify it.

“Because I need you to do it.”

“May I ask why?”

I smothered a curse. Elaine typically stayed out of my affairs. I didn’t appreciate her changing course. “We are going to two different locations. I do not need her to travel with me.”

My guardian crossed her arms and lifted an impeccable brow. “You wish to end things with Gretchen, yes?”

Damn! Where was this damned curiosity coming from? I wasn’t in the habit of explaining my reasons to anyone.

“Yes, if you must know. I will end things once I get settled in New York.”

“You cannot.”

“I most certainly can.”

I couldn’t believe the audacity of Elaine to tell me no. I’d outgrown that parameter by the time I was ten.

“It would not be wise, Damian.”

Dull throbbing started behind my left eye. “Elaine, I am not going to continue this conversation with you. My romance with Gretchen has run its course. She will be returning home and so will I. Arrange her flight immediately. I don’t care if you charter a jet for her use. See to it. Now.”

Elaine shook her head. Unbelievable! What the hell was happening?

“Fine. I don’t have time to argue with you. You won’t do it? Then I will.” I whipped out my phone.

“Don’t be foolish, Damian. This is not the time for theatrics.”

“You insult me,” I growled, well drained of my patience.

She put her hand on my arm. “If you are done with this woman, you should’ve never sent for her in the first place. I urged you not to, remember?”

First obstinacy and now lecturing?

“I didn’t realize you took such interest in my bed partners, Elaine. Is this new or have you always made assessments?”

It may have sounded as if I were teasing her, but we both knew I was not.

My personal affairs were just that—mine.

I wouldn’t take kindly to Elaine getting a wild, maternal hair. She wasn’t my mother. I’d lost mine at birth and no one was going to take her place.

“Don’t misunderstand me, Damian. Who you bed is your business. Except in this. We don’t know if your
situation
has been contained. She might have been seen, Damian. Anyone trying to get to you will first get to her. To leave her unprotected would be murder. You cannot take this chance.”

This time I didn’t bother biting back a long, vile curse. The last thing I wanted was for Gretchen to be hurt. Elaine was right—I should’ve never sent for her.

I may not have wanted to continue our liaison but that didn’t mean I’d abandon her to the wolves.

A thought serrated through. If Gretchen could be a possible target, what about Risa?

The throbbing in my head increased exponentially. If I couldn’t take a chance with Gretchen’s safety, I most certainly would not take a chance with Risa.

Never mind my fixation on needing to know where she was every minute of the day. Never mind the carnal thoughts that seduced me hourly, thoughts so explicit I’d swear they were real.

Risa didn’t sign up for having her life put in danger.

Even though this was precisely the reason I’d never had a PA, now that she was mine, I’d protect her with everything in my arsenal plus more.

I didn’t allow myself to probe deeply at the marked difference in reaction between my lover and my PA. It wouldn’t bode well regardless of the conclusions.

Intellect needed to rule me. Not thwarted passion.

Pocketing my phone, I took a seat at the table. Calm, cool, and completely in control of my unexpected emotions, I asked my guardian for her counsel.

“What do you suggest?”

“You must continue as before. No changes to your routine. No upheaval in your personal life. Socialize as you did before.”

“Keeping the status quo brings me to the same issue you suggest I avoid. Gretchen does not live in New York. She lives in Atlanta. Keeping her in the city would draw suspicion.”

“Not if you’re in her company. Secure a temporary rental for Ms. Smith and see her several times a week. Show up in the society pages. Assign security to her. In a month, maybe less, you can send her back to her life.”

It went without saying. While I wanted to keep Gretchen safe, I didn’t like where this was heading. My convalescence put the final nail in my relationship’s coffin. I appreciated her emotion for me, but I didn’t want to drag it out further. Especially after Gretchen’s emotional disclosure last night.

No matter how much easier it would be to play along, I would not do that to her.

“Things between us are not what they once were. I cannot tell Gretchen the complete truth of things so she will assume a truth that is indeed a lie. It wouldn’t be fair to her. There must be another way.”

“What wouldn’t be fair to her is to be dead.” The cool pronouncement carried a whiff of censure.

Elaine didn’t have to say a word. I knew what she thought.

Emotion has no place in decision-making. Whether you like it or not is of no consequence. Find the most expedient point to get what you need and press it.

That was but one of many lessons I’d learned as a boy while being groomed for my position. They’d always served me well.

I tapped my fingers against the table once. “Arrange an apartment for Gretchen. Full security. We tell her nothing but the bare minimum to guarantee her cooperation.”

Elaine didn’t look satisfied that I acquiesced. It wasn’t her way, but I knew I’d pleased her. She didn’t have the opportunity to assist me with personal matters anymore. I suspected it put her in a maternal frame of mind.

I also suspected I’d given her cause to worry if my ruthlessness had exited the building along with my memories. She and Thomas had worked tirelessly my entire life to avoid that ever happening.

In this I was certain to please her.

“It will be arranged by the time we land. Wolffington will provide the security. We should assign an additional bodyguard, one of ours.”

“Done. Add a detail to her place of business as well.”

I doubted anything would happen to Gretchen’s establishment or her workers, but the “better to be safe” cliché held true in gray matters such as these.

I expected Elaine to leave and finish her preparations. She surprised me when she instead sat down across from me. “Now about Ms. Kelly.”

My body immediately went stiff. “What about Risa?”

“Have you considered what you will do with her?”

“I don’t think there is anything to ‘do with her’.”

My tone was a warning in itself. Risa was off-limits. I had no intention of involving her in anything to do with Konstantinov business.

“Despite your current work arrangements, you have grown closer to her.”

I stared at Elaine, not saying a word.

Her thin smile didn’t make me feel any better. I waited, preparing myself to counterattack if needed.

“I would say this is good. In ordinary circumstances. But we are not in ordinary circumstances. How do you want to handle her protection?”

I understood the need for Gretchen’s security. While we were discreet, I had left a trail between myself and Gretchen. But Risa was merely an employee who’d just started her job before I got myself a bullet in the brain.

She wouldn’t know anything except in regards to Black-Price Holdings or the Bridgewater National parent company. And apparently not even that much. It didn’t escape me that Risa was clever, but obviously hadn’t had the opportunity to have a great deal of training or experience in her position.

There was nothing she could offer anyone. Yet, when did that stop a criminal?

Elaine must’ve taken my silence as an opportunity to confer her opinion. “I suggest we secure a temporary apartment as well. Same security firm. Leon will stay with her. He can protect her better than anyone else.”

What the fuck did she just say to me
?

I didn’t have to look in a mirror to see the rage hardening each line of my face. “Absolutely not.”

“You’re being unreasonable, Damian.”

“My word is final on the matter, Elaine! Leon will not be assigned to Risa.”

My guardian sat back and crossed her arms. “Very well. What do you suggest?”

I didn’t care for her tone or the fact I knew she was treating me as she’d done when I was in the throes of a temper-tantrum as a child. Even if my reaction was irrational and completely unlike me.

Running a hand through my hair, I spit out my thoughts as furiously as they appeared. “I do not want Risa far from me. She is my PA. There’s nothing unusual about her keeping close. My place is a virtual mausoleum. There’s no reason why she can’t stay with me. If she’s there then she doesn’t need Leon.”

“Wouldn’t it make better sense for Gretchen to stay with you? I can easily arrange for the apartment to be Risa’s instead.”

“Risa is staying with me.”

“Very well, but what’s wrong with Leon?”

“Nothing. Find someone else.”

“She is used to him,” Elaine argued. “She won’t need to go through the process of accustoming herself to someone new.”

I slammed my fist against the table. “I do not care who she is used to! I said no to Leon already and that is final! She will stay with me and that is also final! Do not press the point with me! Otherwise, this conversation is over!”

I only released I’d raised my voice when I saw a passing nurse stumble to a jerking stop before continuing on her way.

Elaine didn’t seem surprised by my loss of control. Her near-colorless gaze remained as placid as ever. But watchful.

Forever watchful.

“Do you feel better now that outburst is out of your system?”

Inhaling deeply, I waited until I pushed my volatile feelings deep, deep down. “Risa does not need additional security beyond what Wolffington offers. She has me.”

“She is a young woman, Damian. Surely you cannot expect her to stay glued to your side, do you?”

“Yes, I do. It’s her job to do so.”

That would be a hard sell for anyone, but I’d damn well make it happen before I made it any easier for Leon to find a clear path to Risa’s bed.

Why I was so sure my brother was interested escaped me. If my head was clearer my viewpoint might’ve been different, but all I knew was I wanted Risa with me.

Not him.

Not any other man.

I’d
keep her safe even if that meant chaining her to me.

“Put Leon on Gretchen. He is to concern himself with her solely, understand?”

“Why don’t I order a cage for Ms. Kelly while I’m at it?”

“Can you guarantee it in time for our arrival?”

I was only half-joking. The idea of keeping Risa under lock and key roused something dark. The urge to possess her slithered through me.

I imagined a cage made of gold, a pretty perch for her to lounge on, while a delicate but unbreakable chain encircled her little ankle.

Profane. Delicious.

My cock swelled. I shifted in my seat, knowing I’d soon revisit the fantasy of a smiling Risa beckoning for me to join her in our cage.

“You play with fire, Damian. Keep your distance from Risa. If anyone sees you together in any way beyond professional, you don’t just put yourself in danger. Remember that.”

“I do not need the reminder, Elaine. Your worries are unfounded. There is nothing between us as it is. There won’t be anything between us. Not as long as she is my PA.”

I left too much unsaid. Only a fool wouldn’t be able to read between those lines and my guardian was far from a fool.

“I see. I trust you won’t be giving Risa her pink slip anytime soon.”

Choosing not to answer, I asked instead, “Is our business concluded here? I am eager to let this room see the back of me.”

“We’re done.”

Good. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue to act as if the thought of keeping away from Risa wasn’t driving a spike behind my eye.

Elaine leaned forward, gaze suddenly hard. “You’re pale. What’s wrong? I will call the doctor.”

“There’s no need.” I stood up and moved about the room with purpose. Despite the nausea churning in my gut. I was probably thirsty. Losing my temper probably didn’t help either. I got a bottle of water and offered one to my guardian. “Calm yourself, Elaine. I’m fine. I wouldn’t be released otherwise.”

“Hmm.”

I finished the bottle with just a few short pulls. I permitted myself a small smile. “There. I was just a little thirsty.”

Before she could answer, Risa appeared at the door. I shot forward and met her, Elaine’s presence already forgotten.

Dressed in a charcoal suit to set her curvy figure to perfection along with little black heels, Risa took my breath away. All the stress from my conversation with Elaine rolled away as if it never was. 

“We’ll be leaving within an hour. Are you packed and ready to go?”

Risa’s dark gaze darted to the woman seated behind us. She tightened her lips and then nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” I then added, almost as an afterthought, “By the way, do you own any pets?”

“No.”

“Do you have any roommates?”

Clearly bemused, Risa cocked her head. “No, Sir. It’s just me.”

“Excellent.”

I let the silence tease for me. I should’ve been inconvenienced and irritated at the very least by my decision. Instead, I felt exhilarated by the unknown. It was the same sensation I felt as a teenager right before I jumped out of a plane for the first time.

“May I ask why, Sir?”

It was difficult to keep my face expressionless but I managed.

“Nothing other than I need you to clear your calendar for the next month or so because I need you full time.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand…”

“Simple. The next month is going to be killer, Risa, and I’ll need you at a moment’s notice. Therefore, you’re moving into my penthouse.”