Noah (19 page)

Noah.

He avoid
s
looking at me. He avoid
s
talking to me. It's like I don
’
t even exist. It's infuriating. He's breathtakingly
handsome tonight, but that might just be because I miss seeing him.
He's in a black t-shirt and jeans. His beard is freshly trimmed and
his eyes call out to me, even though he won't flash them in my
direction. My eyes stay trained on him, begging him to look over
and acknowledge me, but I get nothing in return.

I knew coming out
here
was a bad idea.

"So anyways, man, I want you to be my best man."

Why is now, right this moment, the only time my
eardrums catch anything that's been said in their conversation? I
had no idea Caleb was going to ask Noah to be in the wedding, but
that's because my mind hasn't really been on Caleb at all. It's
been so focused on Noah. Caleb asking Noah makes perfect sense.
They're best friends.

"I can't, man, but thanks for thinking of me."

Noah's rejection has all of us at the table go quiet.
Caleb clearly wasn't expecting that answer, and neither was I.

"What do you mean no? Who says no when one of their
closest friends is getting married?"

Noah hesitates to answer and because I know him so
well I know exactly what's going on in his head. He hadn't thought
this through when he said no, so right now he's trying to think of
a good enough excuse at getting out of standing up at our
wedding.

"I don’
t
like dressing up, Caleb. You know
that
. I hate any attention and if I stood up next to
you I'd be standing in front of a couple hundred people I
don
’
t know. I'd be
uncomfortable and I don't want to put myself in that situation. The
entire idea of marriage bothers me anyway. You understand,
right?"

That was a good save and believable, too, since Noah
isn't much of a people person unless he's in his own element, like
the bar or his office.

"You're going to come tomorrow night to the
engagement party
,
though, right? I need you there."

I can tell he wants to say no and turn Caleb down,
but if he does
,
he risks
losing that friendship and gaining the suspicions of Caleb so he
agrees to come and then the guys walk over to the bar, leaving
Kendall and me alone at the table.

"Damn, that was awkward. I can
’
t believe Noah won
’
t stand up at your wedding. He was kind of
being a douche."

I can't hold it in anymore. I have to tell someone
and if anyone will understand it will be Kendall. "I slept with
Noah."

I cover my face with my hands–shocked I actually said
the words out loud for the first time. Kendall's hands meet mine
and she lowers them from my face and we make eye contact.

"You what? When?" She's so calm and her face is
filled with understanding instead of judgment. I should have told
her earlier. She's exactly what I need.

"The night I read those texts on Caleb's phone."

When I told Kendall I was engaged she wanted to know
every detail so I had to tell her about the texts. I just
conveniently skipped over the part where Noah and I made passionate
love in his apartment.

Kendall has never been
T
eam Caleb so I knew if I told her about Noah she
would be fighting for me to try and make it work with him. She
supports me and is happy if I'm happy, but she also made it clear
she thought marrying Caleb was a bad idea. Now that I've blurted
out sleeping with Noah, I know she'll be against me marrying
Caleb.

"That was a month ago! You're just telling me
now?"

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks and I'm sure
I'm blushing. "I should have told you, I know that, but I was
embarrassed. I still am."

"Awe, Skye." She scoots her stool closer to me and
wraps an arm around my back. I rest my head on her shoulder and
we're silent as I enjoy the comfort her embrace gives me.

"I just...I didn't want you to be disappointed in me.
I made so many mistakes that night and then the next day. I knew
that if I told you I slept with Noah you wouldn't understand why
I'm marrying Caleb.
”

“But
,
sweetie, why are you marrying Caleb? You've harbored feelings for
Noah for a long time. I would think after sleeping with him you'd
want to explore where it could go."

I lift my head off her shoulder and turn to face her,
giving her a meek smile.

"How was he?" she asks and I'm startled by the
question.

"I'm not answering that."

"If you're willing to screw up your future by
marrying that scumbag
,
Caleb, then you can at least tell me how the sex was with the man
you should be spending the rest of your life with. And before you
say anything I'm not sorry for calling Caleb a scumbag, because he
is a scumbag and this might be my last night to talk some sense
into you so I'm taking advantage."

I take a deep breath and try to process everything
she's said. While I should be defending Caleb
,
I'm focused on something else she said.
"I shouldn't be marrying Noah."

"Yeah, okay, Skye, except you should. Everyone knows
it, including you and Noah, but you
’
r
e
naively committed to that other asshole to see it."

"You know, I'm going to start getting pissed if you
continue t
o
speak about
Caleb that way and telling me I'm naive."

"Except you won't get mad because deep down inside
you know I'm right."

Is Kendall right? Somewhere deep inside do I know
that Caleb is an asshole?

Sure, we've had our own ups and downs but I honestly
believe he loves me, despite my flaws. He's not perfect, but who
is? And he never cheated on me. He proved that the day he proposed.
I know Kendall feels differently but there is absolutely no proof
to back
up
her feelings.
She just wants me to end up with Noah and that's unrealistic. Noah
and I won't work. If it were plausible it would have happened by
now, but it's too late. Whether it's something Noah wants or not,
I'm engaged to Caleb now. I may not be a lot of things, but I am a
woman of my word and I told Caleb I would marry him. I'm going to
stay true to that.

"So...how was he?" Kendall asks me again, thankfully
dropping the trash talk about Caleb.

Rolling my eyes I answer her, and I tell her the
truth since she would be able to read right through any lies.
"Amazing. The best of my life."

"And you're willing to give that up?"

"I have to. Sex isn't everything, Kendall. You know,
can we stop with this right now? I'm marrying Caleb and there's
nothing you're going to say to change my mind."

"All right, fine. So how big is he?"

I grin and bump my shoulder into hers. "Michael
Fassbender big."

"Shut up! You're lying."

"I'm really not."

"Wow."

"I know. It's like experiencing a unicorn or
something."

We burst out laughing and then I nudge her shoulder
and whisper for her to settle down as I spot the guys heading back
over to our table. Before they reach us Kendall mumbles, "Once
you're married
,
the ban
on Noah is lifted because I want to experience Michael Fassbender
for myself." She giggles softly under her breath but I don't join
her. The thought of her sleeping with Noah is unsettling. The
thought of Noah sleeping with anyone is enough to make me sick.

“Here
,
baby." Caleb hands me an ice-cold beer and sits on the stool to my
left, forcing Noah to sit across from me. You'd think he'd have to
look at me sitting where he is, but he's an expert at avoiding eye
contact.

Caleb and Noah start talking about the hockey game
playing on one of the bar's TVs and then an insanely large man with
bone crushing muscles and dimples to swoon over taps Noah on the
shoulder.

"Guys, this is Levi. He's part of my security at the
bar."

We all say hello in unison and then Levi speaks with
Noah in a deep, masculine voice. If I wasn't already in love
with...well, if I wasn't already in love then I would be drooling
all over this guy. He's gorgeous with his bald head and sexy
dimples. "Sorry to interrupt, Noah, but I need you to take a look
at something in the back. It will only take a second."

Noah looks relieved as he excuses himself from the
table. It's probably because he doesn't want to end up getting
stuck talking with me. That's it. I've had enough. His silent
treatment ends tonight because I can't handle another irritating
minute of his muteness.

"What a hottie," Kendall blurts out beside me. "I've
never seen him before but I'm going to put in a request with Noah
that Levi starts walking me out of work at night. I'd like to try
him out."

“Down
,
girl. As big and strong as he looks, I don't think he could handle
you."

"We'll see about that
.”
S
he
winks back at me.

Caleb is enthralled with the game so I excuse myself
from the table, making an excuse about needing to use the washroom
when what I really need to do is find Noah. We need to talk.

Kendall's onto me. She smiles at me encouragingly and
then begins talking hockey with Caleb. Poor Caleb. Growing up in
Michigan I learned a lot about the game and played my fair share of
it, and Kendall is getting the terminology all wrong.

I walk to the back of the bar and into Club Desire.
After circling around the back room twice, Noah is nowhere in
sight. I walk over to his club office but the door is shut and the
lights are off, and then I check the bathrooms and look back over
at
the bar, but
he
’
s still nowhere.

In a last stitch effort to find him so we can talk, I
push through the doors of the kitchen and there he is, speaking
with one of his cooks. My heels clang loudly against the
floor
,
drawing his
attention my way as his brown eyes find mine.

We're still a good ten feet away from each other and
there's a steel countertop between us when I ask, "Can we
talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Skye, and I'm working
right now."

I take a step towards him and my pelvis hits the
steel edge of the counter. "Please, Noah. I need to apologize."

He ignores my plea completely and finishes talking to
the cook. I stand there patiently, waiting for him to finish. His
only way out of the kitchen is to walk past me and through the
swinging door so whether he likes it or not, he will talk to
me.

Noah picks up a tub of something and walks in the
opposite direction of where I'm standing and into the back cooler.
When he doesn't come out immediately I decide to follow him in
there. He's not going to avoid me forever.

"Miss, you can't go in there," the cook shouts from
behind me but I ignore him and lift the handle on the heavy door
and walk into the cooler. The heavy door closes hard behind me.

"Are you going to ignore me forever?" I ask, while I
watch him write something down on a clipboard that's attached to
the back wall. The cold room causes me to shiver but I'm not going
to let it stop me from having this conversation with him. He turns
to face me, trying to mask his anger at me being back here, but he
can't disguise his anger from me. His cheeks flush and his eyes
dilate, and it turns me on to no end.

"You can't be back here."

"If you don't want me to be back here then you should
kick me out."

"You shouldn't be here, Skye. Go back upfront. Go be
with your fiancé."

"Don
’
t say
that."

"Don't say what? Fiancé? That's what he is, isn't
he." His voice rises at the end of the sentence and I know he's
doing everything in his power not to blow up at me right now.

I take a step towards him, and then another one until
I'm standing right in front of him in the back of the cooler.
"Noah, I'm sorry." My words come out soft and gentle. I hesitantly
lift my hand and place my palm flat on his chest. "I made a
mistake, and I continue to make mistakes. It seems to be the only
thing I'm good at."

"I can think of one other thing you're good at," he
remarks as his tone lightens and he smirks slyly at me.

That night between us flashes before my eyes and I
remember every kiss, every caress. I remember the way he felt
against my body, and then the way he felt inside me. A rush of
warmth travels through my body just thinking about how wonderful it
was between us.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just...I'm
in love with you, Skye, and it's hard to be around you without
thinking about what happened between us." He moves to take a step
past
me and I stop him
by placing my other hand on his chest. I lean up and kiss his bare
neck because I'm too short to reach any higher. A low groan escapes
from deep in the back of his throat and then he leans down and our
lips meet
in
a messy,
passionate kiss.

I shouldn't be doing this. I know better, but being
with Noah like this feels right. It feels like the only way to
apologize for everything I've put him through.

His hands move around my body, up my back, and
through my short blond hair, and then he's pulling on my colored
tresses and my head falls back, exposing my neck to his lips.

He brushes his lips against my tender skin, sucking
and nipping my aroused flesh and then his mouth moves lower and his
hands become more aggressive. He lowers the top of my strapless
maroon dress, exposing my naked breasts and he kisses the small
mounds of my breasts before sucking each nipple between his
lips.

I sigh out in appreciation and then my hands are on
him as I quickly unfasten his jeans and push the material down his
hips.