Noah (20 page)

The kisses quickly move from tender and passionate,
to wild and frantic.

Noah's mouth releases my flesh and then his hands
grab the bottom of my dress as he pushes the material up around my
waist. He grabs my ass with one hand and lifts me up. I wrap my
legs around his waist and then we're moving backwards until the
center of my back hits a hard cooler shelf.

I ignore the pain as he sits me on the edge of the
shelf and then he's pushing my thong to the side and feeding his
cock to my waiting center, thrusting inside me with one quick
push.

"Noah," I scream out in pleasure as he fills me with
his large erection, reminding me of exactly what I've been
missing.

His hand leaves the base of his cock and he quickly
covers my mouth with his palm as his lips meet my ear and he
whispers, "
B
e quiet or
someone might
hear
us."

I whimper against his hand in understanding as he
pushes inside me again and then we're silently screwing, the only
noises are the whimpers and groans we're both trying to suppress.
Each thrust causes my thighs to twitch as I hold on to him,
clutching the back of his shirt. He's bringing me closer and closer
to feeling sated–something I haven't felt since the last time we
were together.

When Noah's confident I won't scream out again his
hand falls from my mouth and is replaced with his lips. He kisses
me hungrily and my lips tingle with every kiss and nip. Our tongues
meet as his beard brushes against the skin under my chin and I try
and cherish the taste of him, as we both grow closer to climax.

This is what I need. This is what I've been missing
this past month. Kendall was right. How can I give this up? How can
I give Noah up?

I wrap one of my hands around the back of his neck
and pull at the hair there as my other hand maneuvers underneath me
so I can massage his balls. His dick twitches inside me as I play
with him and then his free arm wraps around my lower back and he
pulls me even further into him, leaving no space between us. He
groans and I can feel the tension in his body as he tries to hold
off his orgasm.

Him being so close to coming pushes me over the edge
and I lean into his shoulder and bite down on his shirt as I scream
out in climax, using his shirt to muffle the sound. Noah follows me
with a few more pumps as he mumbles something against my neck.

We're both panting, sweating, and completely sated as
we come down from the immense pleasure we've experienced together.
When he pulls out of me his cock is wet, covered in my juices and
it has me wanting to drop down on my knees and lick both of our
arousals off him. It's also a reminder that we didn
’
t use a condom. Actually, we've
never used a condom, which shows how caught up I am in Noah because
it's foolish not to wear protection.

I slide off the shelf and adjust my dress, pulling it
back in place. It's a wrinkled mess after our tryst, but my ruined
dress was worth every second. We probably just broke a dozen health
code violations.

"What does this mean?" Noah asks me as he tucks his
cock back in his pants and zips and fastens them up.

"What do you mean?"

"Did this mean something to you, Skye, or was it
another meaningless fuck? Am I just something you use to get
off?"

How can he ask me that?

I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist and
then I lay my head on his chest. "This meant everything to me,
Noah. I...I love you. I always have and I always will, but if
you're asking if this changes anything, the answer is no. I made a
promise to Caleb. I intend to keep it.
”

He wraps his arms around my back and holds me tight,
unwilling to let go, which is fine because in this moment I never
want him to let me go.

"Why are you so loyal to him? If you love me why does
it matter if you keep your promise to him?"

How do I answer this in a way he'll understand when I
don't think I completely understand my reasoning? I'm in love with
Noah. This should be simple. But whether it's fear or blind
loyalty, I know I won't leave Caleb.

"I love him, too, Noah. It's not in the same way I
love you. The truth is
,
he'll never compare, but I love him and he deserves better from me.
I
’
m going to try and be
better."

I know I need to walk away right now. Caleb is out
in the bar with my best friend, and he's probably wondering where I
am and what's taking me so long. I need to go out there before he
catches us together, before he finds out I've betrayed him, but I
can't find enough courage to leave Noah's arms right now.

"If I never introduced him to you
,
do you think we'd be together right
now?"

"We are together right now," I reply as my lips
brush against his chest in a tender kiss between lovers.

"We just had sex, Skye. That doesn't mean we're
together. I don't have all of you because you're still with him.
Let me clarify what I mean so there's no misunderstanding. If I
didn't introduce you two, do you think we'd be married with a white
picket fence, Kaya running around the backyard, and kids filling
our home?"

I hesitate to answer him honestly. If I
lie
,
I'll hurt him, but
the truth might hurt worse. "I'm not sure we were ever meant to be
together, Noah, but back then it was what I wanted."

"And now?"

"And now I don't know what I want. What I do know is
there is a man out front waiting for me, thinking he has a
dependable, loving fiancée. I want to be that for him, so we
can
’
t let this happen
again."

I pull away from his body. My eyes fall on the wet
spot on his shirt where I just kissed his chest. "I need to go back
out there, Noah. This shouldn't have happened...again. It's my
fault. I take the blame, but tomorrow night's my engagement party.
I need to be better than this."

I start to walk towards the door to the cooler when
Noah grabs my upper arm and turns me around, his lips crashing
against mine. I don't even hesitate as I kiss him back in a brief
but fervent kiss. When his lips leave mine he keeps his eyes closed
and
says
, "Come over
tonight."

"What?" I whisper back. My thoughts are still
focused on the warmth of his lips.

"When Caleb goes to sleep come over tonight. If
you're serious about us being over, about staying with Caleb, then
come over tonight. Give me one more night."

"Noah–" I start to reject his proposal but he cuts
me off.

"Just think about it. Please, shorty. I...If I can't
have you, at least let me have a final goodbye. Don't let it be
cheapened by the cooler in the back of my bar. It should be in my
apartment, in my bed, where I can worship you and remember you the
intimate way I should." He brushes his lips against mine one last
time before releasing my arm. "Just think about it. I'll leave the
front door unlocked."

Turning my back on him, I walk out of the cooler,
through the kitchen, and back out to the front of the bar. I refuse
to look back
,
even
though the urge was almost unbearable. If I had turned around and
Noah was watching me, I would have never left the cooler. When I
sit down at the table
,
Kendall looks over at me and winks knowingly before focusing back
on Caleb.

"So when does the third quarter start?"

Caleb's eyes find mine and his face brightens as he
mouths
, "Thank God
you're back." Then he answers Kendall. "It's not quarters, it's
periods, Kendall. There are three periods in hockey and the third
period will start any minute."

Caleb takes a sip of his beer as one of his palms
lands on my thigh under the table and gives it a loving
squeeze.

What am I doing? This man next to me is great. He's
loving, and tender, and thoughtful, and gentle, and devoted, and he
wants to marry me.

ME!

So why do I know that even though he's all of these
great things, the minute he falls asleep tonight I'll be sneaking
over to Noah's apartment?

Chapter
Eleven

The first signs of morning light trickle in through
the window of Noah's studio apartment, and it's a reminder that I
need to go soon. I need to leave before Caleb wakes up and wonders
where I am.

Last night, after Caleb fell asleep, I snuck over to
Noah's apartment and let myself in. We didn't say much the rest of
the night and into the early morning hours, and let our bodies do
the talking. He worship
p
ed my body, showing me just how much he loved me,
and reminding me how hard it
is
going to be to leave him... Now we're naked with
our legs tangled together, the sheets a crumpled mess at the bottom
of the bed. My fingers linger on his chest, playing gently with his
soft chest hair as Noah sleeps peacefully underneath me.

I wasn
’
t
able to sleep at all last night. I couldn
’
t
,
knowing that this was it. Later today I'll be
getting ready for my engagement party as I plan to marry another
man. That plan seemed so reasonable when Caleb proposed. Now, I'm
not so sure.

Actually, nothing about this engagement seems right,
but I just have to get through it. Once I'm married to Caleb it
will all
feel
differently, and I'll no longer worry about if leaving Noah was a
big mistake.

So instead of sleeping when Noah fell asleep, I let
the memories of the past several hours play over and over again in
my mind. I tried to savor every moment, remembering finally getting
to taste Noah's cock as he fucked my mouth, or when I changed
positions and knelt over his face, drowning him in my pussy so we
could pleasure each other at the same time.

After satisfying the immediate need we had for each
other, we took our time the rest of the night, making love slowly
and cherishing the little time we had left together.

I should leave now, before Noah wakes up and we have
a long, drawn
-
out, and
uncomfortable goodbye. Leaving that way will be for the best, but
as I continue to play with his chest hair I can
’
t seem to get up from the bed.

I'll give myself five more minutes to soak as much
Noah in as I possibly can.

My mind keeps going back to last night and how
incredible he was. The things Noah does with his mouth...and his
tongue. The way he makes me feel feverish with just a touch, and
the yearning he creates inside me just by loving me back. I'll
relive those hours for the rest of my life.

But...

We shouldn't have done it and we both know that. As
much as I'd love to continue this with Noah for the rest of my
life, we need things to go back to the way they were. I'm supposed
to be with Caleb and I want to start earning the title of good
wife. The memories of Noah's hands on me and being unable to think
straight when he's inside me will have to be enough.

Noah stirs underneath me and I know he's awake. His
hands wrap around my slim waist and he tugs me completely on top of
him so my chest is flush against hi
s
and I'm no longer half lying on him and half lying
on the bed. I breathe him in, my nostrils filled with his
intoxicating smell.

"Good morning, shorty," he rasps out in his husky
morning voice. His rough, calloused hands slide down my body and
squeeze my ass. "I'm ready for another round."

The
pads
of his fingers slide down the crack of my ass and I know if I
don
’
t pull away now I'll
spend the next few hours in his bed, risking everything for the
passion he evokes in me, and ruining everything with Caleb when he
wakes up to an empty
bed
.

I kiss his bare chest and then pull away, kneeling
on the bed. "We can't. Noah, I have to go."

The smile he woke up with quickly fades as he nods
his head somberly. "I know. We're cutting it close as it is."

"Please don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, Skye. I pity you, knowing
you'll be spending your life with someone who will never treat you
as well as I could."

He sits up in bed and leans forward, brushing his
lips tenderly against mine. His beard tickles my cheeks and I
giggle, but even the brief moment of playfulness can
’
t mask the pain we're both
feeling.

"You should get going." He kisses me on the forehead
and gets up, slipping on boxers so he's no longer naked.

This is really it. It's over just as quickly as it
started.

There are dates in our lives that stick with us
forever, changing the course of our future, and I know today will
be one of those days. Almost like a death of a loved one, every
year on this date I'll be mourning what could have been with Noah,
instead of the beautiful engagement party I have planned
for
tonight with
Caleb.

I always thought that when Noah and I finally
admitted our feelings for each other that would be it. There would
be no one else and we'd live happily ever after somewhere. He was
supposed to be my destiny, my soul mate. That was what I wished
for. That was what I dreamed.

But I guess they're called wishes and dreams for a
reason. If they were realistic they would be a set-in-stone future
instead of a distant hope.

A tear escapes from my eyes and I try to wipe it
away before Noah can see, but I fail miserably.

"This is what you want, Skye. It's not what I
want."

"I know
.”
I sob softly. "But that doesn't mean this doesn't hurt. I love you,
Noah, and I feel like you're going to disappear from my life after
today."

He picks my pajamas up off the floor and walks over
to hand them to me. "I'll never disappear from your life, shorty. I
love you way too much for that to ever happen, so please don't
worry about that."