Nobody Knows (10 page)

And something bigger. Something neither of us was ready to say out loud yet.

His hands, so gentle, bunched my shirt up at the sides until his fingertips lightly touched my skin, unmoving but full of intention.

This time, I wasn’t embarrassed about the faint moan against his lips.

I reached for the bottom of his t-shirt, pushing it up, forcing us apart to tug it over his head, and we fell, side by side, onto the bed.

My breath hitched as my gaze travelled the length of his body. I’d never seen him this way before. I’d seen him shirtless, seen the look of hunger in his eyes, but never both at the same time.

My man.

I loved the broadness of his shoulders, and that he didn’t waste time waxing his chest or sculpting his body into what was supposed to pass for the ideal way for a guy to look.
This
was how a guy should look. The flaming drum kit tattooed on his left bicep added to the appeal; his one moment of rebellion etched onto his skin forever.

“Ells?”

A flicker of self-consciousness showed, but I wasn’t about to stop staring. Couldn’t. I hated that Lisa left him with the warped idea there was something wrong with him. Everything I saw was perfect.

“I think,” I whispered, as my lips trailed kisses across his cheek, tasting him, from the top of his neck to the curve of his shoulder, “you’re amazing.” My fingers drifted down to his soft stomach, tracing patterns on his skin. When he smiled, I couldn’t hold it in.

Didn’t want to.

“I love you.”

Drew’s arm banded around me, and he lifted me on top of him, shutting out all the space between us. The only sound was breathing; his heavy, mine shallow because he hadn’t spoken. His eyes softened, lips parted a little, but still no words came out. A second passed.

Two.

Three.

The silence echoed in my ears.

Too soon.

Drew’s mouth moved against mine, silently telling me it wasn’t too soon. He pushed my hair out of my face, tucking it gently behind my ear.

“I love you, too.”

My body collapsed against his. I’d never been the clingy girl who
needed
to hear “I love you.” With Drew, I figured it would be a while. I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear it from him until the words were spoken.

He laughed, softly. “You didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you?”

“I thought you might because this is... it’s all-”

Drew cut me off with another kiss. “It’s fast. But it’s right.” A devilish grin formed as he tugged at the bottom of my shirt. “Can I take this off now?”

I nodded, and when his hands touched my back, my ability to speak disappeared. We shed our clothes with exploring, eager hands. Soft touches drifted across my curves; lips roamed freely over my skin causing whimpers of pleasure. I melted under his touch, moulding against him as if we’d been created to find each other so we could spend the rest of our lives doing this.

Drew started to roll me onto my back, but I tightened my legs around him, maintaining my position on top. His eyes flashed with uncertainty, silently asking if I wanted to stop.

“I like it up here.” I gently traced my fingers across his chest again, then dipped my head for a kiss.

Relief replaced nervousness, and he ran his hands down to my ass, kissing me harder, hand moving in between my legs. I gasped as he flicked a finger inside me, and I pushed against it, wanting,
needing
more.

I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to connect with him, to make every part of him mine.

“Ells, are you… do we need to…?”

His eyes glazed over as I slowly circled my tongue around his. “I’m on the Pill.”

Least sexy sentence ever
. If he’d been anyone else, I would have insisted on extra protection, but it was
Drew
. We knew each other’s sexual history; we had nothing to worry about.

“Thank God,” he breathed, running his hands down my sides. “I don’t want to stop.”

I closed my eyes, heart still hammering, readying myself to make him mine. To cross over the last line of friendship.

I was so ready.

Slowly, I lowered myself onto him, shivering as he slid inside for the first time.

“Ellie, look at me.”

His voice was low, and my eyes flickered open at his request. He watched me as I moved up and down on him, eyes unashamedly taking in every part. When his gaze met mine, it was as if he could see inside my mind, my heart; see everything I’d kept locked away for so long, because it wasn’t hidden anymore. It was me, showing him how much I wanted him, how much I needed to have him this close.

And as he watched, I should have felt self-conscious. Exposed, and worried because maybe I wasn’t at the most flattering angle, or maybe my thighs showed hideous cellulite. But Drew wasn’t looking at any of that. His eyes were transfixed, as if my movements hypnotised him, tethering him to me.

My breath quickened, and I felt it building inside. The moment I knew would make me fall harder. Drew’s hands tightened on my hips, and I quickened the pace; faster,
faster
. His eyes locked onto mine, holding me in place. Hands slid up my back, bending me towards his chest. My already erect nipples stiffened as they brushed against him, and when he took one between his fingers, I couldn’t stop from crying out. Sparks shot through me as he flicked and pulled, only gently, but enough to turn small shivers into trembles of pleasure.

I was close,
so
close. My legs weakened, breathing shallowed, and every sensation I felt seemed to merge together, building, climbing, until I burst, exploding into a million pieces. Stars danced in front of my eyes, wave after wave rolled and crashed. Within seconds, Drew bucked his hips, twitching beneath me, inside me, calling out my name as I collapsed down onto him, hot, overwhelmed.

Exhilarated.

I buried my head into Drew’s chest, listening to his pounding heart while trying to slow my own. Like an earthquake, I felt the aftershocks of the most intense orgasm I’d ever had sparking through my veins.

God, I love him so much.

Our skin was damp with sweat, but I snuggled in closer, not wanting to break the connection we’d built. Drew enveloped me in his arms, and leaned forward to kiss the top of my head.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, as if he’d heard my thoughts.

Aftershocks made way for butterflies and warmth, filling me from head to toe.

“I love you, too. So much.”

I closed my eyes, losing myself in him, safe in the knowledge that no matter what happened in the morning, this night was ours.

Just ours.

Don’t open your eyes.

I heard the voice in my mind as I woke up, and for a moment, I took my own advice, afraid that when I allowed myself to re-enter the real world, the magic of the previous night would be snatched from me. I reached out, sure the only thing I’d touch would be empty space.
Wrong.
Drew was still sleeping beside me. I softly brushed my lips across his shoulder before resting my head against his chest.

It really happened.

I’d never let myself imagine how it would feel to sleep with Drew. Sure, my brain tried to take me there every time I watched him play a gig, or if he hugged me and his fingers lingered a bit too long on my waist. But I’d
needed
to block those thoughts out in order to look him in the eye without blushing. The real thing was better than anything I could have dreamt, and my pulse quickened at the memory.

Like everything with Drew, sex was intense. I’d never felt more connected to another person. That awkward, first-time-with-someone-new thing didn’t exist between us. Instinct steered us in the right direction, drove us to know exactly what the other wanted, needed.

Once was
not
enough.

Drew’s hand trailed down my back, and he mumbled, “Good morning.”

The corners of my mouth turned up as I lifted my head for a kiss. He met my lips without hesitation and I sank into him, memories of the night before still strong at the front of my mind.

“Good morning.” My voice came out in more of a sultry purr than I’d intended.

But damn, he looked good. The twinkle in his still sleepy eyes, and his slightly overgrown stubble. Flying high on the things we’d done together, plus the fact we were still naked, it was hard to keep control of anything, including my voice.

“Eleanor Jane,” Drew said, smiling. “You sound like a porn star again.”

“I’m okay with that.”

From somewhere underneath my pillow, my phone rang. The intrusion was completely unwelcome, especially as I’d barely woken up yet. With an enormous sigh, I pulled it out.

Mum.

Parents call at the most inconvenient times.

If she called at this time of the morning, it usually meant bad news, and with a jolt of panic, I realised
I
was probably the bad news. The bad news in the papers. A post-sex glow, followed by the best night’s sleep ever had helped dim the severity of Jason’s dinner outburst, but it all came swarming back in a dizzying blur. With a shaking hand, I pressed the button to answer the call.

“Hi, Mum.”

“Ellie, what the hell is going on? Do you know you’re in the newspapers?”

Her frantic babbling did nothing to calm my nerves.

“I haven’t seen them yet. But yes, I thought I might be.”

“Why didn’t you warn us? Your dad nearly choked to death on his porridge when he saw you! And Lucy says there are all kinds of rumours about you on the Internet!”

Trust my sister to investigate further. I couldn’t blame her. I’d probably have done the same if the roles were reversed.

“Is it true?” Mum yelped. “Is any of it true?”

“Well, that depends on what you’ve read.”

“Are you seeing Drew?”

I glanced at him. He’d turned onto his side, listening to my end of the conversation with an appropriate look of concern. I relaxed a little, butterflies fluttering inside me, beating out the fear of what the rest of the day would bring. Weird moment, being split between blissful happiness, and stomach churning anxiety.

“Yes. I’m seeing Drew.”

“For how long?”

“Around a week. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but... we didn’t tell anyone.”

There was a lengthy pause. The kind that makes you wonder if you’re about to get a huge telling off.

Please be cool with this, Mum.

“I’m happy for you. We all are. You should have told us sooner, though. Finding out this way wasn’t fair.”

Her words were heavy with disappointment. I snuggled into Drew, wishing we’d called our families last night. In hindsight, it was the obvious thing to do. In reality, we’d needed the last bit of time together without worrying about anyone but ourselves.

“I know. I really am sorry. Being with Drew is so new,
we’re
still getting used to it. It was kind of... unexpected.”

“Oh, Ellie.” Mum laughed. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

“What?” I screeched, making Drew jump. “What do you mean?”

It hadn’t occurred to me anyone would ever have seen it coming. Jason certainly hadn’t.

“Sweetheart, it’s been obvious you have feelings for Drew for a while, and he adores you.”

News to me. I mean, obviously, after he kissed me, I knew. Before, I’d spotted no signs of adoration at all. I hadn’t searched for them because I was convinced they didn’t exist, and it was far easier to live in a state of semi-denial than mope around after him, hoping he might notice me one day.

My silence seemed to make her forget her upset with me, and her tone softened. “Are you coming home today?”

“Yeah, we’ll be back this afternoon.”

“We want to see you. Both of you.”

“Erm,” I began, shifting my eyes up to Drew again.

“We could order a Chinese tonight, and invite Michael and Jason too,” Mum interrupted.

Ah. She’d pulled her classic Mum move, sensing me trying to wriggle out of it, and acting quickly to prevent me making up an excuse. I figured she wanted to see Drew and me together for herself. And, of course she’d want to invite Drew’s dad and Jason to come along. Now we were more like one big family than ever.

Oh God. We hadn’t had chance to talk to Jason yet. The last thing we needed was to be thrown into a room with him and our families before we’d cleared everything up with him. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Normal newly-formed couples get to spend their first few weeks together mapping out each other’s erogenous zones, not explaining themselves to their relatives.

“Ellie, please. I’m sure you and Drew have a lot of... catching up to do, but this is a big thing for all of us. It would be lovely if we could get together tonight.”

I winced at my mother picking up on one of the reasons for my reluctance. Completely unaware of what was being said on the phone, Drew slid his fingers down my spine, then around to my stomach. A shiver shot through me, my body still hypersensitive. The mischief on his face told me I was in trouble. My eyes widened, and he shrugged and mouthed, “I’m bored.” I tried to conceal a giggle, as Mum said, “So, what do you think?”