Chapter 26
The smoldering July heat didn't bother Toni and Eric as they seemed to skip out of the court hearing that handed Roderick jail time, community service, and embarrassment among his peers. Toni owned a sense of pride. She'd done her part to keep a rapist off the streets. At least for the four years before he got a chance for parole. And when he became a free man, hopefully his appetite for attacking women would be curbed.
Eric, handsome as ever in his navy suit and picture-perfect tie, attached himself to Toni's side when he picked her up that morning, and hadn't moved since.
“Thank you, Eric.” Toni turned her head and flung her hair back behind her shoulder. “I appreciate you being there for me and giving your testimony.”
“Where else would I be?” He grabbed her hand.
Her initial reaction was to shake her hand loose, but this used to be one of her favorite displays of his affection. The warmth of his hand, familiar and comfortable, meant a lot more to her these days. Eric was in full courting mode while Toni prayed her way through the decision to start seeing him again. She and God discussed her rollercoaster thoughts. If she felt at peace after all the court happenings, she'd reciprocate his attempts to win her back.
“So, what are your plans for the rest of the day?” Eric squeezed Toni's hand and added a smile dripping with charm.
“I'm going to visit Ava before visiting hours are over, but that's about it.” She wouldn't mind hanging out with him a little longer. But not too long. The more time she spent with him, the better chance of her guard coming down prematurely.
“How about we do a little celebrating?” Eric's expression resembled a young child asking for a second cookie.
Toni put her hand on his broad shoulder. “I'm down with that.”
When they arrived at Eric's cherry red Jaguar, he led her to the passenger seat, opened the door, and helped her into the seat. The two of them played eyeball tag on the ride to downtown Houston as they reminisced on the good times. Toni giggled like a schoolgirl. They were the young kids again who fell for each other back in high school. Minus the red and white cheerleading and quarterback uniforms.
She wanted to erase the previous six months of infidelity from her memory. Eric morphed back to who he was before the problems arose in their marriage. If the Lord could help Toni forgive him and move past the trust issues, their relationship, or whatever it was for the moment, might have a chance.
The Houston Pavilions swarmed with people in each corner of every restaurant. Eric pulled in front of Guadalajara's Fine Mexican Grill and valet parked his ride. They walked into the restaurant, Eric's hand on her back.
After they were seated and the waitress took their orders, Eric took hold of Toni's hand. “Can I be real with you?”
“Of course. You always have been.” She grinned, but hoped he wasn't too real with her. Especially about what happened in their past. Trying to throw that whole scene out of her mind of him with another woman was hard enough. She didn't need to be reminded of any details.
“I want to sincerely apologize for all the pain I caused you. You didn't deserve any of that. I was a selfish idiot. I hate myself for being so nonchalant about the vows we took on our wedding day.” He wiped the corners of his mouth. “I have never stopped loving you and never will. You are all I want and need in this world, Toni. I want to ask you to really consider giving me another chance. I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”
Toni breathed deeply. Did she really want to travel down that bumpy road again? Had he truly changed? “Not sure what to say. I . . . I . . .”
“Take your time.” He caressed her hand. “I don't need an answer right now. Believe me. I ain't going anywhere until you tell me to.”
“Well, Eric. It's just . . .” She bit her bottom lip, wanting to choose her words carefully. For once. “I want to believe you mean what you say. But it was extremely difficult to get through the whole ordeal. And I am just starting to move past it. My hesitation lies in being able to trust you again. I do not want to dive back into this and end up with the word âfool' stamped on my forehead.” She had been there and done that many times over.
“Toni, I understand and will give you all the time you need to see the change in me. At the head of my life is God. Hitting bottom made me look up and I have strengthened my relationship with the Lord. He not only opened my eyes to what I've done.” Eric placed his hand over his heart. “But He has opened my eyes and heart to all I could be in Him. And all I could be to you.”
Tears formed in Toni's eyes, but she held them captive in her sockets. He didn't need to know he could still stir up emotion in her just yet. “I'm actually speechless. That's never happened before.”
They laughed as she gripped his hand a bit tighter.
Toni's cell phone buzzed in her purse. “Bad timing, I know. But it may be Ava. I told her to call me if she needed me to bring her anything. Mind if I take it?”
He waved his hand like an usher offering a row of seats in church. “No please, go ahead.”
She looked at the screen. “Oh, it's Rene.”
“Toni!” Rene sounded distressed.
“Yes?”
“You need to get to the hospital as soon as you can.”
“What's wrong?” Toni's body tensed, bracing herself for whatever came next.
“Ava has gone into surgery.” Rene sniffled as she talked through tears. “She was complaining of cramping and started bleeding heavily.”
“Oh, my goodness.” Toni, frazzled, stood and grabbed her purse.
Eric walked over to her side of the table.
“Are her parents there?”
Rene cleared her throat. “Yeah, they're here. Her brother too.”
“Okay. I'm on my way.” Toni hit the end button on her cell phone and looked into Eric's eyes.
He removed his wallet from his inside coat pocket and dropped forty bucks on the table. “Let's go.”
Glad that Eric was with her and doing the driving, Toni called on God to heal Ava right where she lay. She also sent up a prayer that Ava's dad had some packaging tape with him. He'd need to place it over Ava's mother's mouth. Her mother stressed Ava out more than anything else in the world. And she didn't need any added stress in the condition she was in now.
Toni would've gladly told her mother off herself, but she was brought up to respect her elders. And Ava seemed to handle the comments pretty well on her own. However, if Ava's mother did add to the stress of the current situation, Toni would personally escort her out of the hospital room herself.
Chapter 27
“Momma Alexander, Ava is a grown woman!”
Ava heard Toni's raised voice as she approached her hospital room. The nurse wheeled her into the room and all conversations ceased. Her family and friends filled the small quarters. Her parents, brother, Rene, Toni, and Eric all wore soothing smiles welcoming her into the room. After looking in everyone's eyes, Ava hung her head. The nurse helped her out of the wheelchair, slowly and carefully, and into bed.
Her lower half was in pain, but her heart suffered more. “I lost the baby.”
“Oh, Ava, I'm sorry.” Toni covered her mouth.
Sad expressions rested on everyone's face, but nothing was said. Ava knew it was a hard situation to comfort her in, since she didn't want the baby in the first place. What had her life become? It seemed like shame on top of shame. First, having slept with Ishamel. Then ending up pregnant by him. And now, she couldn't even carry the baby to term.
“Ava?” Her mother walked over to her bedside.
“Yes, Momma?”
“How you feelin'?” She pushed Ava's hair out of her face.
Not sure what to say, or if she even wanted to say anything, Ava shrugged her shoulders. If another word came out of her mouth, tears would follow and flow like a running faucet.
Toni moved in closer. “Are you in any pain?”
“A little.” Faucet on. Ava's cry was shrill and disheartening. Her father grabbed the box of tissues and handed her a few.
Her brother maneuvered his way through those around the bed and leaned over to give her a hug. “Ava, it's okay. Everybody in this room loves you and we are here for you no matter what.”
His words were true and meant to be comforting, but she wanted to be alone. How could she relay that message without hurting their feelings? Rene sat in a chair by the window, seeming to be deep in thought. Ava wanted to ask Rene how she felt about her losing the baby, but couldn't ask her with everyone in the room.
Yes, Ishmael was responsible for causing the accident that led to her miscarriage. But if she could've stopped herself in that moment of weakness they shared together, none of the other tragic events to follow would've even happened. Was God punishing her for the choices she'd made?
Dr. Griffin stepped into the room. “Hi, everybody. I've come to explain exactly what happened.”
“Yes, Doctor?” Ava's father held her hand, wearing an intense expression.
Rene looked up from her train of thought.
“You may want a little more privacy, Ava.” Dr. Griffin looked around the room and then at his clipboard.
Eric and her brother turned and left the room.
The doctor moved closer to Ava. “Shall I go on?”
“Yes, Doctor. My parents aren't going anywhere and my girls are the sisters I never had. You can say whatever you need to say.” The worst was out now. She breathed a breath of preparation.
“Well, we knew you had issues with bleeding and cramping.” He rubbed the side of his five o'clock shadow. “But at some point between your last ultrasound and before your emergency surgery, your membranes ruptured. You passed blood clots and tissue.”
Her mother's face dropped, while her father's eyes read deep concern.
“Is there anything I could've done to avoid that happening?”
“No. The impact from the car accident affected the cervix. We couldn't be sure how and when your body would react, that's why we kept you here for observation. You passed most everything, but just to be sure, we performed a D and C.”
Ava glared. “D and C?”
“That stands for dilation and curettage. I like to call it dusting and cleaning. Basically, it's an emptying of the uterus. You may have some cramping and bleeding for the next couple of days, but other than that you are okay.” He cleared his throat. “Physically anyway. Having a miscarriage can be an emotional thing. I suggest you talk to someone you trust, a counselor or pastor.”
Someone knocked on the door, slowly pushing it open. “Did I hear someone say counselor?” Dr. Moses carried a huge bouquet of flowers and balloons that read GET WELL SOON.
Ava smiled for the first time that day. She missed Dr. Moses and all of her wisdom and encouragement. They hadn't had a chance to really talk since the night of the accident. She had called Ava after Toni called her to let her know why Ava wouldn't be attending her counseling sessions for a while. Dr. Moses prayed a quick prayer of healing, but they only spoke a few minutes.
Ava had so much to hit her with that Dr. Moses' head would twirl around several times. The doctors exchanged pleasantries and then everyone said their good-byes, so Ava and Dr. Moses could talk. She should've shown up sooner if she had the ability to clear the room like that.
Dr. Moses placed the flowers and balloons on the table near the window. “The card is signed from all the folks at group. They're thinking about you and praying for you.”
“Please tell everyone I said thank you, and I'll be back as soon as I can.”
“So how have you been?”
“Not so good. I just came out of surgery.” Ava's eyes focused on her twiddling thumbs. “I lost the baby.”
She touched Ava's arm. “I'm so sorry.”
Ava was sorry too. And she didn't know where to start. Dr. Moses would counteract everything she said with an encouraging word or a scripture. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear it right then. Feeling sorry for herself sounded better than continuing to put a spotlight on all the wrong she'd done.
“Also, we found out it was Ishmael who caused the accident. I guess it was his way of getting me to have the abortion I told him I wouldn't have.”
Dr. Moses looked confused. “How'd they find out it was him?”
“Rene figured it out. He used his mother's car. Rene's been great. We're not only talking again, but she's going to be my lawyer in my case against him.” Ava halfway smiled. “It's funny how things turn out.”
“Yep, I believe there's a plan in everything. Even our mistakes.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course, that's what I'm here for.”
Ava stared into Dr. Moses' eyes. “Do you think the miscarriage is God's punishment for what I've done to Rene?”
“Absolutely not, Ava. Don't you even tell yourself that. God doesn't punish us when we sin. He allows things to happen as a result of the choices we make, but it's not like He's out to get you. He loves you more than you could ever think or imagine.” She reached in her purse and took out her Bible, complete with a hot pink cover that brightened up the room.
Relaxing her shoulders, Ava waited patiently.
“There's a scripture that comes to mind.” Dr. Moses thumbed through the pages of her Bible. “Here it is in Romans. It's Romans 5:20: âMoreover, the law entered that the offense might abound, but where sin abounded, grace abounded much more.' Do you see that, Ava?”
“What scripture was that again?”
“I'll write it down for you.” She dove back into her purse and retrieved a pen and a small notepad. “What I want you to understand is God prepares for our mess-ups. He knows what's going to happen even before the idea ever pops into our head. His plan is grace. And His grace is sufficient.”
Ava reached out for the paper.
“In fact, Second Corinthians 12:9 says, âMy grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'” Dr. Moses gently snatched the paper back and scribbled the second scripture. “Let me write that one down for you too.”
“Thank you so much, Doctor. I needed to hear that.” Ava wiped a tear from her face. “Will you pray for me?”
“You don't even have to ask.” She grasped Ava's hands in hers. “Lord, we want to thank you for who you are in our lives and for all that you've done. We come to you right now asking for your healing power over Ava. Healing for her body. Her mind. Her spirit. And help her find peace throughout this situation. We know that you are in control of everything and can change this around with a wave of your hand. Please give her wisdom in what to do next and understanding where confusion lies.”
Ava let the waterworks flow. The words Dr. Moses spoke were the words that rested in Ava's heart. She felt a cleansing of sorts move throughout her soul.
Dr. Moses went on. “Also, Lord, please give her an understanding of how much you love her and about the grace you have covering our lives and choices. As she moves forward, be with her every step of the way. In Jesus' Mighty Name, we pray. Amen.”
“Amen.” Ava opened her eyes to see Dr. Moses in tears as well.
“The Lord just showed me that everything will work out for your good. That's Roman 8:28. You must believe that and walk in it. Do not be afraid going forward. Rest in His power.”
“I think I can do that.”
“You can, Ava. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are God's daughter. Walk in that too.” Dr. Moses smiled and gathered her things. “I'm sorry to cut out on you, but I have to get home and get dinner started. My husband's coming in from working out of town and he texted me all of his favorites. Seems he missed my cooking.”
“That's sweet.” Ava looked forward to the day her husband would come home with the same request. “I appreciate you coming to visit me. And for the scriptures and prayer. You are really good at what you do, Dr. Glory Moses. I feel blessed to have walked into your office that day.”
“God planned that, too.” She winked and then exited the room.
Ava felt ten pounds lighter. God had outdone Himself on Dr. Moses' words alone. She knew He had to be in the room, surrounding her with love. He did care about what happened to her and He was making Himself more real to her every moment. And He sent Dr. Moses there at the perfect time.
God's got me.
A knock on the door interrupted Ava's thoughts. “Come in.”
Rene slipped in with two bags of McDonald's. “I was hoping you'd be alone when I returned. I'd feel guilty if I didn't have anything for Doctor Moses.”
“I didn't realize you were coming back.” Ava was all teeth.
“Well, we didn't get to talk earlier.” Rene emptied the bags, placing her salad in front of herself and a chicken sandwich and fries in front of Ava. “I wanted to know if you were okay.”
“I'm better than when you left. Dr. Moses worked her spiritual flow over me.” Ava tossed a fry in her mouth. “Are you okay?”
Squeezing her dressing over the salad, Rene answered. “God knows I wasn't prepared for any of this to happen. I mean the last few months have been extremely hard. I was supposed to get married next month. But I'd be willing to bet our marriage wouldn't have lasted a year. Ishmael's true colors would've come out sooner or later.”
Ava thought how Ishmael had shown an entire rainbow several times before, but Rene turned her head to his colorful schemes. However, she wasn't about to muddle this revelation of Rene's as their friendship took another step forward. And seeing as Ava owned one of the paint brushes, it was better not to say anything on any front.
“I hate this is the way you found out about him. I can't say I'm sorry enough.”
Rene swallowed her bite of salad. “Well, I don't want to dwell on the past. I want to move forward.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Have you given any more thought about pressing charges?”
“Yes, I have.” She gulped down a drink of sweet tea. Ava would let faith lead her instead of fear. “I want to proceed with the charges. I can't let him get away with this.”
“So true. He will go down for attempted vehicular manslaughter.”
Ava scrunched her face. “Attempted? He's the reason I lost the baby. He killed an innocent child.”
Rene shook her head. “Not in the state of Texas. It's sad, but if the baby isn't born yet, the best we can do is press charges against him for what he did to you.”
“Well, he'll get his one way or the other. I'm sure of it. He'll answer to the courts first and then God will deal with him later.”
“That's the attitude to have.” Rene shared a smile. “I'll call the detectives on my way home.”
“Thank you so much, Rene. I appreciate you taking the case. I know it must be difficult to be in this position.” An awkward road lay ahead, but Ava believed in God. And God could do anything. Even bring the sinners and the sin together face to face with the one offended by the sin in the middle of it all. The Lord not only worked in mysterious ways, He worked in mysteriously, crafty ways.
Rene sternly peered into Ava's eyes. “What would be difficult about this whole situation is if you got the wrong lawyer, and Ishmael walked. I couldn't live with myself.” She reached for Ava's hand. “Together, we'll bury that fool under the jail. Where he belongs. I promise you that.”