Playing Well With Others (60 page)

In addition, fiction that has been inspirational to the community can be found in historical periodicals (such as
The Pearl),
historical treatises on real non-con- sensual chattel slavery (such as
Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
by Harriet Jacobs), adult magazines (such as
Penthouse Forum),
plus slash fiction and fanfiction.

• Movies.
  Movies that involve sadomasochistic, fetish, swinger, and erotic themes are far too numerous to mention. The following movies, though, have had an indelible impact on public kink cultures and have effects which are still discernible today:
  

  8mm
  (1999)
  

  Ai no Corrida
  (aka
  In the Realm of the Senses),
  1976
  Barbarella
  (1968)
  

  Black Snake Moan
  (2006)
  

  Blue Velvet
  (1986)
  

  Body of Evidence
  (1993)
  

  The Book of Revelation
  (2006)
  

  Bound
  (1996)
  

  Boxing Helena
  (1993)
  

  Bram Stoker’sDracula
  (1992)
  

  Caligula
  (1979)
  

  Cat People
  (1992)
  

  The Cell
  (2000)
  

  A Clockwork Orange
  (1962)
  

  Closet Land
  (199
  ¹
  )
  

  Crash
  (1996)
  

  Crimes of Passion
  (1984)
  

  Eyes Wide Shut
  (1999)
  

  Hana to Hebi
  (aka
  Flower and Snake),
  1974
  Harold and Maude
  (1974)
  

  Hellraiser
  (1987)
  

  The Hunger
  (1983)
  

  Il Portiere di Notte
  (aka
  The Night Porter),
  1974)
  

  Ilsa, She Wolfofthe SS
  (1975)
  

  Labyrinth
  (1986)
  

  Legend
  (1985)
  

  The NotoriousBettie Page
  (2005)
  

  Original Sin
  (2001)
  

  Pet
  (2008)
  

  The Pillow Book
  (1996)
  

  Preaching To The Perverted
  (1997)
  

  Pro Urodov ILyudey
  (aka Of Freaks and Men) 1998
  Pulp Fiction
  (1994)
  

  The Rocky Horror Picture Show
  (1975)
  

  The Secretary
  (2002)
  

  Seksmisja
  (aka Sexmission, 1984)
  

  Seven
  (1995)
  

  Shortbus
  (2006)
  

  Star Wars: Episode VI—Return of the Jedi
  (1983)
  

  Ultimo Tango a Parigi
  (aka
  Last Tango in Paris),
  1972
  Vamp
  (1986)
  

  Videodrome
  (1983)
  

  Wolfen
  (1981)
  

In addition, many genres of movies explore kink, BDSM, swinger and alternative sexuality themes. Western, swashbuckler and spy films (especially the James Bond franchise) show wardrobe, bondage and SM themes that have sparked the first kink fantasies for many. Various science fiction films have given permission to explore sexual and gender diversity through the permission of it being “alien,” while vampire, werewolf and other fantastical films show the appetites of the “other” or “monster.” Finally we have the wide range of adult and pornographic films that have been released in the past 100 years, which have often held kink themes.

• Television
  

  Alias
  (2001-2006)
  

  The Avengers
  (1961-1969)
  

  Batman
  original (1966-1968)
  

  Big Love
  (2006-2011)
  

  Buffy The Vampire Slayer
  (1997-2003)
  

  CSI
  (2000-)
  

  Dexter
  (2006-)
  

  I Dream ofJeannie
  (1965-1970)
  

  Firefly
  (2002-2003)
  

  Law & Order
  (1990-)
  

  Looney Tunes
  (1936-)
  

  National Geographic: Taboo
  (2002-2010)
  

  The New Adventures of Wonder Woman
  (1975-1979)
  

  The Prisoner
  (1967-1968)
  

  Star Trek
  franchise (1966-)
  

  True Blood
  (2008-)
  

  Xena: Warrior Princess
  (l995-200l)
  

• Other Media
  

  The following media have been pioneers of kinky erotica, roots of inspiration, or are kink-inspired artists who have captured the imagination both inside and outside the kink community.
  

Artists:
Annie Sprinkle, Bishop, Bizarre Magazine, Bunny Yaeger, Fakir Musafar, Charles Gatewood, House of Gord, Irving Klaw, John Willie, Michael Manning, R. Crumb, Randall Housk, Robert Mapplethorpe, Steve Diet Goedde, Tom of Finland

Comics:
Batman, From Hell, Heavy Metal, Superman, Wonder Woman

Hentai/Adult Comics:
Bondage Faeries, Cool Devices, La Blue Girl, Omaha the Cat Dancer, Tramps Like Us, Xxxenophile

Magazines:
National Geographic, Penthouse: Variations, Screw

Music Industry:
Britney Spears, Eurythmics, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Lady Gaga, Leonard Cohen, Lucille Bogan, Ma Rainey, Madonna, Prince, Rihanna, Velvet Underground, The Wet Spots

4D: Out To Your Doctor?: Talking To Health Care Professionals by Barak, RN

So there you are, in the semi-private exam room at your doctor’s office. The nurse has taken your vitals, asked some general questions, and, before leaving the room, directed you to get into a gown. You have removed your clothing and have fitted the stylish blue plaid garment as well as possible. The rough material slides over your front, and you get a sore twinge from those nipple clamps you were wearing last night.

The door opens, and as the doctor walks in you blanch, recalling the purple mosaic of bruises that were reflected in the mirror this morning. What do you say? Do you tell the truth? How do you handle it? What is the doctor going to think? Will they turn you in? Will they throw you out?

I have been in health care, as a paramedic and a Registered Nurse (RN), for more than twenty years. I have worked in home health, in doctors’ offices, in psychiatric centers, on hospital floors, and, for the past decade, at several busy emergency rooms. Over the course of my career, I have seen almost everything. Really.

So what do you say when you have those beautiful marks all over your back? I encourage honesty. If you are hurt, or there is something wrong, be frank and honest about it; don’t try to make something up that “might” fit what happened.

Let’s say you had a shoulder injury during a rope scene. There are certain things you might leave out, but make sure you don’t leave anything out that contributed to the injury. For instance, while kinksters may love the terms “tied up and fucked,” “BDSM,” “rape scene,” etc., there’s no reason to try and play “Shock the Doc.” In situations like this, discretion is the better part of valor. Take time and amend possible inflammatory terms. Health Care Providers (HCPs) are usually fine with the terms “kinky sex,” “I like it a little rough,” and “creative sexual expression.”

Depending on what you were actually doing, you may not have to get into that discussion at all. For instance, if you were doing suspension bondage, you might just let them know you were “experimenting with rope,” and “were being held off the ground by rope around your arm, shoulder, etc . . .” when you felt XYZ . . . or however it happened. Meaning, you don’t have to get into
why
you were suspended, other than you were playing around with rope.

You should always be honest about
how
it happened, but there is really no reason to get into the
why
most of the time. Just know that even if you are completely honest, you may get a visit from the friendly facility social worker. They may verify that everything is on the up and up, that your participation is consensual, and there is no abuse going on. However, if the HCP feels as though you are hiding something, deliberately baiting them, or trying to get a reaction, it may cause them take further steps, and look much more closely at you and your explanations. If you set off their red flags, there is a good chance your adventure will turn into much more of an inquiry — one that could involve people with different-looking uniforms and badges.

Speaking of which: if you are worried about being turned in, or your information being shared, let me introduce you to something called the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) of 1996. If you read through this act, you will find that a doctor, nurse or other HCP can only release records or information that is specific to you, or could identify you in any way, if it pertains directly to your care or billing. The HIPAA laws prevent HCPs from disclosing information, even to your immediate family. If this info in shared in any other way, that is illegal and prosecutable, a very serious infraction in the medical field.

This law essentially covers doctor/patient confidentiality rules; however, you may want to be aware of a couple of loopholes. If a doctor or other HCP feels that the patient is in some form of danger — if they think you are being threatened, abused, harmed, etc. — they are mandated reporters, who must legally disclose pertinent information to law enforcement investigators. Remember, this is for your protection.

If the reason you are at the doctor has nothing to do with the bruises on your ass and thighs, just smile knowingly and say, “it’s consensual, I like it rough.” Then bring them back to the subject at hand, like your sore throat and cough. If they bring you back to it, just be factual and direct. Take a “nothing to see here” attitude.

If you are with your partner, make sure both of you are on the same page, and don’t become resentful if the practitioners separate you. They just want to make sure this is not domestic violence. So smile a lot, and make sure you both have the exact same story. One of the best approaches is the one where you shyly admit you like being tied up, and your partner was trying to accommodate you.

Should you come out to your doctor? In the end, that’s up to you. However, we HCPs have seen a lot and are very adept at understanding the way the human body looks, acts, and works. We are also aware of the mechanics of damage, trauma and wounds. I can assure you that handprints don’t look like something accidental. Whip, flogger and cane marks also appear quite deliberate. Your best bet is to be honest and straightforward.

If you can’t or won’t come out to your HCP? Then either make sure you don’t have marks, don’t get injured, or just find another HCP you
are
willing to share with. It’s your health and your choice.

Sincerely,

Barak, RN

© Barak 2011

4E: Understanding STDs and STIs: Sexual Expression and Infection Control By Scotty Thomson

Humans take risks: driving in cars, flying in airplanes, sharing our secret desires with new partners. Many risks we accept, others we ignore. As we explore the depth and breadth of sexual expression, sexually transmitted infections are nearly impossible to ignore.