“So. Tell me about yourself.”
She finished a slice of asparagus.
“All right. I’m in my late twenties, my birthday is in a few weeks on September twenty-sixth, and when my mom was pregnant with me, my parents had hoped I was a boy. Obviously, I showed up instead.”
“I’m pretty happy about that,” Eric said, grinning at her.
She gave him a look and he apologized. “Sorry, go on.”
“His name was going to be Roland.”
“They must’ve really wanted him.”
Janet looked down.
“Yeah.”
Then she looked back up at him.
“My mom was happy with me though, I never doubted that.”
She looked away again. She was grateful he didn’t ask any followup questions about her mom—the pain of losing her was still raw.
“Now what about you?” she asked brightly, needing to shift the focus.
“Me? Well, I want to make love to you,” he said.
Janet spat out the sip of peach iced tea she’d just taken and watched a launched drip hang off of Eric’s nose.
She would’ve laughed if she hadn’t been so struck by his words, and wasn’t sure if she had even heard correctly.
“I’m sorry?” she said as he wiped off his face and brushed at his shirt with the dinner napkin.
“You heard me,” he said, still busy with his task.
“I’m just not sure I heard you properly...”
He looked directly at her.
“You did. Lucky for you, I’m willing to take it slow.”
Janet’s heart felt like it would thump out of her chest.
Anger
, she thought.
Think angry thoughts.
“You mean to tell me that you keep coming at me to selfishly satisfy your lust? You know I can report you to HR for sexual harassment.”
“But you won’t because you like it. You can’t fool me Janet—fool yourself all you want.”
Janet was genuinely angry now, but because he was right.
He was toying with her, as if she were some stupid pet, walking a treadmill to try to catch some treat on a string.
How dare he play her for a fool? For some silly, indulgent fool?
“Are you surprised that I’m not intimidated by the great Leonard Cooper’s daughter like most men probably are?”
Janet all of a sudden felt close to storming out and hailing a cab.
“Fine, I’ll play fair,” he said suddenly. “I’m early thirties, originally from the state of Washington, and I’ve been looking for a girl like you my entire life.”
Janet’s anger instantly vanished, replaced by heat of another kind. She was touched, his tender words piercing her more than even his desire had.
She was stunned speechless while her heart melted, and looking up at him only made it all worse—he looked like he
meant
it.
“I’ve said too much,” he said. “Just know that you’re safe with me Janet. I need you to remember that.”
What was he talking about?
“Why should I believe you? Anything you say? This is probably all part of your seduction plan,” she said poking at the remaining salmon with her fork.
His hand reached across and grabbed hers swiftly, and his face held an odd expression she’d seen before, but he said nothing as he held her gaze.
He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.
“How much have I held back so far Janet? Compared to what I could’ve held back?”
Janet conceded. It was true—even when his words were few or nonexistent, the looks he gave her and his facial expressions said plenty, and he never really seemed to bother to hide any of it.
“I never imagined you’d be so...forthright,” she said quietly.
His eyes arrested hers suddenly—widened, and looking particularly intelligent.
“What do you mean?” he asked, almost suspiciously.
Janet ran her words over again in her mind and realized she hadn’t given herself away.
She’d been thinking about the version of him she’d created when she was thirteen.
She remembered his physical appearance, and the way he handled her in her fantasies—always gentle and loving and he matched both in reality. But she hadn’t created much of a personality for him back then, certainly not one that included him telling her what was on his mind boldly; she hadn’t dreamed he would be so straightforward.
His own candidness was starting to make her want to be more honest and upfront.
She smiled and looked down, knowing she couldn’t say what she’d planned if she was looking at him, those analytical blue eyes studying her.
He made her feel like she was under a microscope sometimes.
“Listen, I made this pledge,” she began, “to myself. I’ve had a bad run with men—you met the latest one—and I promised myself...” She stopped, chuckling, realizing how silly it all sounded out loud. “I promised myself to go at least three months without...you know.”
She could feel him smiling, and she could see it clearly in her mind’s eye—a crooked smile laced with light ridicule.
He was silent, and it made her look up.
She saw that she was exactly right about his smile.
Then it occurred to her what an effective tactic he had been using on her—it seemed whenever he wanted to force her to look at him, he remained silent. But even knowing that, she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist his silence, wanting to have some indication of what he was thinking.
“How many days do you have left?” he asked, still smiling.
Janet sighed dramatically.
“About sixty,” she said.
Fifty-nine to be exact
.
Eric laughed, and Janet was struck by the richness of it and his gorgeous smile. He even had an adorable light dimple on one of his cheeks.
“Good luck with that,” he said going back to his food.
***
When Eric took her back home and she got out of the car, to her surprise, so did he. He parked, shut the car off, and climbed out.
She looked at him, disbelieving, but he simply said:
“Nightcap?”
She couldn’t understand why she found it so hard to resist him—for any reason.
“Don’t try anything,” she said lightly.
He said nothing in response, and when she glanced at him, his expression was unreadable.
She was worried about letting him in, especially with the way her heart was fluttering and her body seemed to have become unstable, but she reminded herself she was a grown-ass woman. She could handle anything that happened; she was aware of the potential consequences.
She was letting him in with eyes wide open.
When they got inside, he seated himself comfortably on the couch.
Janet resisted the urge to check her house for David, suddenly seized by the thought he could be hiding out, then she felt a bit silly about it.
“Sit with me?” Eric asked, tapping the spot next to him.
“You came in for a drink didn’t you? Now what would you like? I wouldn’t feel right giving you hard liquor when you still have to drive, so how about some tea? Coffee?”
She ignored the slow smile that had formed on his face when she said that he had to drive, but she couldn’t ignore the way her heartbeat sped up.
What did that smile mean? He did have plans to leave didn’t he?
She felt like she was going to have a heart attack.
“Happen to have some Scotch around?” he asked, and she knew for he didn’t plan to leave anytime soon.
She shook her head.
Luckily, she didn’t have Scotch or any of the usual hard liquors that David had appreciated around now. But then she remembered one she could offer.
“How does Bailey’s and coffee sound?”
He smiled.
“Sounds wonderful,” he said.
Janet put a pot on to brew.
She decided to stay in the kitchen for as long as she could—sitting close to him was not a good idea.
He looked at her as he patted the seat next to him again.
Janet felt her legs start to move.
This is stupid. You’re so stupid. You know, you deserve whatever you get for going along with this and being so stupid!
Instead of sitting next to him on the couch, however, she sat in her recliner several feet away.
“So it’s like that?” he said, smiling.
She nodded.
“Yup.”
“Okay, I’ll respect that. By the way, I appreciate you liquoring me up before my drive, and I’d like to take this opportunity to remind you that it was your suggestion.”
Janet didn’t know what to say.
“Well how long do you plan to hang out here?”
He shrugged.
“However long it takes for you to not feel guilty about sending me back out there intoxicated.”
Janet leaned toward him.
“Just coffee then?”
Her voice sounded hard to her, harder than she thought she was capable of around him.
He appeared to get the message as he nodded.
She felt his energy pull back, his flirtatious manner vanishing.
Janet was proud of herself.
When the coffee machine signaled, she got up and asked him how he liked his coffee. She was surprised when he didn’t give her a suggestive response.
She brought both of their mugs over, handed him his, then sat back on the recliner with hers.
“Why’d you let me come in?” he asked.
“Truthfully I just...you’re a whirlwind. You were already out of the car, and I had already taken back an invitation to you before...” She shrugged.
“You knew what could happen if you did.”
She nodded, looking away.
He said nothing else.
They sipped their coffees in silence for a minute.
Then Janet found her eyes drifting to him, starting with his wrist, his arms.
She could still smell his cologne and she was lost in it.
Her eyes went to the peek of his chest.
She wanted to see more damn it, and she knew he knew it.
“Do not look at me like that Janet.”
“What?” she asked, tearing her eyes away from his body, trying to look innocent.
But she knew it was clear she had been undressing him with her eyes.
Still, she felt defiant.
“Like I’m a piece of meat,” he said.
“Spare me. Since we’re being so honest with each other, you’re quite the specimen and you know it. Besides, you have not spared me such glances. What’s the big deal?”
“You really want me to show you?” he asked, putting his coffee down and getting up from the couch in one quick, smooth movement.
Janet’s defiance deflated as he reached her, carefully taking the coffee from her hands and pulling her up from her chair.
“Okay never-mind—I think I get the picture...”
“No, you want to know what’ll happen, and that’s fine with me,” he said.
He pulled her tight to him, then his mouth came upon hers with fierce possessiveness, his tongue finding its way into her mouth, demanding she give in.
Janet moaned in pleasure as she accepted his demands, wrapping her arms around him.
What am I doing
? she thought, alarm bells ringing.
Part of her mind shouted for her to stop, but the majority ruled—her heart, doubling its beat, her body warming—tightening in some places, lubricating in others.
She knew if she let him continue, she would be lost. She had no weapons against his desire, for she wanted him too.
She had to force her next words out:
“Okay, Rick, I get it...”
“No you don’t—not yet. But don’t worry, I’ll give it to you.” And as if to emphasize his point, his hands travelled down her back to her buttocks and he clasped her to him hard, as if making sure she felt all his firm parts and knew what was coming.
The other hand held the back of her head, burning through her scalp by its mere presence as he continued to kiss her hungrily.
His scent, and the feel and taste of him intoxicated her, and when his mouth moved to her neck, leaving a trail of heat everywhere it touched, she knew it was over.
The hand at her butt came up her back and across her waist, then reached the swell of her breast causing her to shudder.
She savored the feel of his hand slowly exploring her body, finding its way under her top. He delicately touched her breast, sliding his thumb over her nipple which hardened instantly.
Janet had to stop herself from telling him to take her right then.
“We can’t do this,” she said, finally able to break the spell for a moment.
“Why not?” he asked thickly.
She had no response and knew that she had lost the quick battle with herself she had started.
What about tomorrow?
she thought, then the thought disappeared as he reached her other breast, giving it the same treatment as the other.
His hands left an electric sparkle everywhere they touched.
When his hands grabbed at her dress as if about to pull it off, she panicked and pulled away, keeping a distance with her hand out.
“No,” she said firmly.
“Are you talking to me or you?” he asked, taking a step closer to her.
“Eric I don’t know...” she began, her voice pleading, and he stopped abruptly and looked her in the eyes, his face still holding desire, but alert.
“You don’t know what?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready,” she said, and it came out as a whisper.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his voice still thick and Janet could not answer. She knew she couldn’t say yes—it would be a blatant lie. But if she said no, she knew her abstinence goal was blown.
“No,” she said, and to her ears, it sounded like a whimper, and in a way it was. “Eric, I want...”
Her words were smothered by the pressure of his mouth on hers. His tongue traced the outline of her lips and that was all the “open sesame” she needed.
He probed her with his tongue again, and Janet was suddenly terrified.
She thought she had experienced him losing control before but his frenzied actions made it clear she was really in trouble this time—he had completely lost it.
His mouth left hers and trailed down her neck and down to her bare shoulders.
She moaned in pleasure.
“Thanks for giving me easy access,” he said in his desire-thickened voice, and Janet was too distracted to understand if he meant her dress or the fact that she was braless. Or both.
He started fiddling with her dress again, and she was too weak to protest about anything anymore.