“Hello?”
“Miss Chloe,” came an unfamiliar voice on the other line. “My name is Madam Celine and I just received a call from an extremely happy client. He gave me your information and asked if he could book another appointment with you.”
“He did?” I was flabbergasted. Part of me felt flattered, part of me felt insulted, and all of me felt oddly excited.
“I would like to extend an invitation to be a part of my escort agency. If you decide to accept the invitation, I am prepared to offer you premium perks.”
My instinct was to hang up and throw away Michael’s number, but then my eyes landed on the marks on the wall next to my bed that showed the progress of how tall Charlie had grown as a child, and I hesitated. I knew right then that Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom couldn’t lose this house; there were too many memories here. It was too important. Despite what Jackson said, if they lost this house, it would be all because of me. It would be my fault.
I knew I had to find a way to help them keep this house and maybe this was it. I listened to her offer and when she was done, all I could see was how much money this would all mean, and how much easier everything would be for Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom if we had all this money. Still, I told her I needed time to think about it.
“You have twenty-four hours to consider my offer and then we’ll need to arrange a different escort to accompany Mr. Davison.” Madam Celine said matter-of-factly and the line went dead.
I lay awake half the night, tossing and turning as I tried to decide what to do. It had made me feel so cheap and dirty when I found that money on the night stand and discovered Michael had thought I was an escort. Still, I had felt ashamed of myself since I ruined the lives of the amazing people who loved and raised me, so what was a little more self-loathing?
The only thing that might make me feel better was to right the wrong I had committed and pay off their hospital bills. Making three grand in one night sure was a quick way to do that, and it wasn’t all bad. I didn’t want to admit to it, but it had been sort of fun pretending to be someone else—someone who didn’t have any problems or guilt, someone who was sexy, powerful, and uninhibited. Plus, after a few drinks, it had been easy to enjoy the uncomplicated, no-strings-attached sex and make Michael think I’d wanted him as much as he’d wanted me.
The one thing I knew for sure was if I decided to accept this offer, no one must know. I couldn’t tell Aunt Betty or Uncle Tom. I couldn’t tell anyone at school. And most importantly, I couldn’t tell Jackson. I cringed at the thought of what he’d think of me if he found out. He’d grown up with money. Would he even understand how I felt right now? Would he even understand how much I was willing to give up and sacrifice to make sure Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom didn’t sell the house? I wasn’t sure he would. I was sure that he would never look at me the same way again. I was sure that he would break his promise to marry me.
But the thought of possibly losing Jackson if I accepted this offer made my heart ache so much that I felt a need to tell him everything. This was a moment when I needed my best friend more than ever.
Maybe I should tell him about what happened the other night and about Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom’s money problems. Maybe I should tell him everything. Would he understand that I need to take this offer?
I looked over at the alarm clock on my bedside table. It was three in the morning. He was probably already asleep.
I’ll call him first thing in the morning.
***
As soon as my eyes opened the next day, I picked up my phone and called Jackson.
To my surprise, he didn’t answer his phone. A woman did.
“Is Jackson there?” I asked, wondering if I dialed the wrong number.
“Yeah, Jackson’s here. He’s just getting out of the shower.” She giggled. “Hold on.” I could hear lots of rustling in the background.
“Hello?” came Jackson’s voice on the line.
“Hey, Jax. It’s me.”
“Hey, Clo.” I heard him draw in a sharp intake of breath. “I’m kind of busy right now. Can I call you back later?” He sounded out of breath and I wondered if I had interrupted more than just a shower.
“I’m not sure I can wait for another no-call from you,” I retorted. “This will just take a minute.” I was surprised by my own words, but I wasn’t letting him hang up on me again and then never to call me back. With only twenty-four hours to decide what to do, I needed to talk to him about this now. I needed my best friend.
“Okay, but make it fast,” he urged under his breath. “I have a friend over.”
His comment stung a bit, but I decided to brush it off. Now came the hard part. I hadn’t actually thought about what I’d say to him, or how I’d bring it up. But now there was no more time to think through that anymore.
Taking a deep breath for courage, I asked, “So the guy I got drunk with and slept with the other night? I’d never met him before, and I don’t have feelings for him. But it all happened so fast, and—”
“Clo, I’m sorry, but I really can’t talk right now. And like I said last night, sleeping around is just a part of the whole college experience. It’s not a big deal. Don’t be so serious all the time, Clo.
You don’t need to be telling me about every guy you sleep with, and to be honest, I really don’t want to know.”
“But…”
“Look, I don’t want to sound like an ass, but in high school, we never really talked to each other about the people we dated. You’d never seemed to like it when I talked about the girls I hooked up with, so I stopped telling you. And now, I kind of feel the same way. I don’t really need to hear about the guys you’re hooking up with. It doesn’t mean we’re not best friends or I don’t care about you any less.”
“So you’re saying you’re okay with and won’t judge me for sleeping around with guys that I had no feelings for?” I asked with an edge of annoyance, feeling hurt by the matter-of-fact tone of his words to me.
“No, of course I won’t judge you. There’s nothing wrong with having some fun in college. You worry too much, Clo; you always have. From what you told me last night, I think you going out and having some fun and letting loose a bit will be good for you. Don’t be so stressed out all the time.”
I thought back to the last few times I’d tried to call him and realized that he was definitely having plenty of fun in college. So why did I feel so bad after sleeping with that guy? I didn’t know he thought I was an escort. And why does that even really matter? It was clear that Jackson was sleeping around with girls—that Tyler guy said he was having a threesome with two girls the other night. If he could have no-strings-attached sex, why couldn’t I? Jackson had made it clear that we were both single and didn’t need to answer to anyone. So why did I feel the need to get Jackson’s approval? Had he ever asked for mine?
“Clo? Are you still there?” Jackson’s voice broke through my thoughts, suddenly sounding concerned for the first time since we’ve been talking on the phone.
That’s just too little and too late.
“Yeah, Jax. I’m still here. I’ve been wrestling with a big decision, but I think you’ve just made it a lot easier for me. So thanks for that. I hope you have a good rest of the day with your
friend
.”
“Is everything okay? Do you want me to come out there and we can talk?”
I was so confused by him and how he can switch so quickly from being an asshole to being my best friend. But I realized that it was too late. There was nothing he could say that would change my mind. He’d made it clear that college was a time for having fun, making mistakes, and experimenting. If he were to turn around and tell me we shouldn’t be sleeping around in college after he found out what I’d really called him, I’d know that he was just be lying to me.
“No, Jax, you’ve told me everything I needed to hear. You don’t need to come down to see me. I’m fine. Go back to your girls and your fun. I’ll talk to you later.”
Before he had a chance to respond, I hung up on him. I felt a strange rush of confidence and conviction. I quickly pulled up another number before I could change my mind.
“Hello?”
“Madam Celine?
“Yes, speaking.”
“It’s Chloe.”
“Ahhh, Ms. Chloe. So have you decided?”
For a moment, I hesitated.
Am I making the right decision here?
As if to answer my question, I heard Jackson’s words ring in my head:
“…sleeping around is just a part of the whole college experience. It’s not a big deal. Don’t be so serious all the time, Clo.”
I thought back to the sheer tears of relief in Aunt Betty’s eyes when I gave her the envelope full of money yesterday, and I knew my answer.
“Yes. I’ll take the job,” I said boldly.
“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, love.” Her voice was as sweet and smooth as honey when she was happy. For the next half an hour, she went over everything I needed to know about being an escort—everything except how to live with the shame. When the conversation was over, I felt overwhelmed and numb as I walked into my bathroom and turned on the shower. As the hot water hit my naked body, I slumped down onto the floor, sat under the unyielding downpour of water, and sobbed.
But even through the tears and fear, I was clear about one thing.
There was no turning back now. At this point, what Jackson or anyone else thought of me, or would think of me, wasn’t the most important thing to me. That wasn’t my priority anymore. My priority now was to do everything in my power to make sure my selfishness on my birthday didn’t ruin the lives of those I loved more than it already had. I was going to make sure Aunt Betty and Uncle Tom didn’t lose their house if it was the last thing I was going to do.
CHAPTER T
HIRTEEN
December 2003
Nineteen Years Old
JACKSON
We were laying side by side in a meadow of tall grass and yellow wildflowers under a cloudless sky of perfect blue. I knew immediately where we were. It was one of our favorite spots to go together—the park with the small lake. It was the place we’d sealed our pact to marry each other with the love lock.
“I love you, Chloe. I always have,” I whispered to her as I stroked her face with my hand. My throat felt tight and dry with anticipation as I held my breath waiting for her response. If she didn’t say it back to me, I knew the pain would be more than I could bear.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me toward her. She beamed at me before kissing me with her sweet, soft lips. They tasted like honey and felt as soft as the petals of a delicate flower. As she gazed into my eyes, she whispered back, “I love you, too, Jax. I’ve just been waiting for you to say it.”
I felt my chest explode with happiness, and I wondered if she could hear how loud my heart was beating for her.
Then to my surprise, she unzipped her sweater and revealed her naked breasts to me. They were the most beautiful things I’d ever seen.
“Make love to me, Jax” she begged and I saw the need in her eyes. It was the same need that I’d carried inside me for as long. I wasted no time and bent my head forward to taste her breast in my mouth for the first time.
I was suddenly ripped from my dream by the blaring sounds of my alarm clock going off.
“Shut that damn thing off, baby,” the no-name brunette lying next to me groaned. She rolled over on top of me, squishing her enormous tits against my face as she pressed the button to silence the alarm. They practically smothered me, and I had to open my mouth, gasping for breath.
“Mmm, baby. That feels good. I love the way your mouth feels on me. Want to have a quickie before class?”
My cock was rock hard from my dream about Chloe, but it didn’t feel right to have sex with another girl when the one girl I really wanted to be inside of was Chloe. Peeling myself from her arms, I said, “Not right now. Professor Bielman is handing out the take-home final at the beginning of today’s Econ. lecture. I can’t be late.”
I retreated to the shower, locking the door so she couldn’t follow me in. I don’t know why I’d called her late last night. It was the first night I’d had to myself in a while, and the first time the frat house wasn’t having something going on. So I was sober and ready to call it a night. I even got a chance to catch up with Chloe. I felt like shit hearing what she had been going through and I hated myself for not being able to make time for her the previous times she’d called and texted. I was going to tell her that I wanted to visit her this weekend before finals started. With my parents’ divorce, I was heading to my grandparents’ house in Vermont with my mom and spending the winter break there, so I wasn’t going to see her at all. But when I was about to suggest a visit, she brought up her drunk night with some guy. I never thought she was the type to get drunk and sleep around. But maybe she was having just as much fun in college as I was. So when I’d gotten off the phone with Chloe, I’d remembered the cute brunette that’d given me her number the night before, and I ended up giving her a call.
There was a point during the call when I had an urge to tell Chloe how I felt, to tell her I loved her. But I held back, just like all the other times I had. I wanted her to know, but when it came down to telling her, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if she didn’t say she loved me back. Or worse, what if she said she loved me but just as a friend. I wasn’t sure I could take that amount of rejection. Plus, once she knew how I felt, it would put a huge strain on our friendship if she didn’t feel the same way. Eventually, the awkwardness might drive her away from me and then I wouldn’t even have her as a friend. That wasn’t worth the risk. It was better to keep things the way they were. At least this way we would still be best friends, and I’d still have her in my life. Then there was always our pact. When we both turn thirty, she promised she would marry me. I couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. I knew I could hold out until I was thirty. I just hoped that she would, too.