Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1) (16 page)

He looked away as his body trembled with embarrassment. Had that been disgust morphing onto her lips as he spilled his guts? He should've kept his mouth glued shut.

"I lied. I don't see you as a brother like Jimmy and Austin," Ava said quietly.

Zane slowly looked back at her. "You lied? How many times?"

"Every single time."

His heart slowly stopped beating like a jackhammer, the shivers lessening as well. He swore softly under his breath. "So if I'm not a brother to you, then what? Why lie? Why are you always shying away from me outside these bedroom walls? Why are you afraid of me? I'd never hurt you, I swear."

Ava scooted closer, yet didn't touch him. "Because I was afraid of my reaction to you. My body yearns for yours. You think you're the only one in torture here, the way you hold me and caress my back. I ache for you to caress the rest of my body, and yet I can't say that. You're no brother to me and have never been one. You're pure man to me. One I wish was completely mine. I have never feared you in any other way. I know you wouldn't hurt me."

Ava turned her eyes down. Zane reached over and slowly brushed a tender hand across her cheek. She wouldn't look at him. He caressed her cheek until she finally looked at him.

"Austin called me dumb. He said why would a woman who thought of me only as a brother really let me sleep in her bed," Zane said softly as he continued to move his hand soothingly across her face.

"He has a good point. I wouldn't. I never slept next to Jimmy and couldn't imagine it. Austin either, for that matter," Ava replied, tentatively placing her hand on his chest.

"So I guess we've both been dumb, huh?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yeah. Austin probably doesn’t like it, does he? It doesn't seem right to feel this way with Jimmy gone. I don't deserve you." Her eyes were glued to her hand resting on his chest.

"Why would you say that? First of all, he doesn't care. He's happy as long as we're happy. Second of all, I'd say I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. I was harsh to you. I wasn't nice. I said some mean things," Zane said, wishing she would look at him. When she still didn't turn her beautiful eyes to him, he said sharply, "Look at me."

Ava brought her eyes back up to his.

"You're right. It doesn’t seem right to feel this way with Jimmy gone, but it's the way I feel. I want you," Zane said tenderly.

Instead of responding in words, Ava smiled, then slowly put her other hand on his chest. Gradually, she slid her hands down his chest to the hem of his shirt. She curled her fingers underneath to the edge of his sweatpants.

Zane sucked in a breath at the feel of her fingers barely touching him. "What are you doing, Ava?" He still had his hand resting on her cheek. Moving seemed impossible.

She started to move her hands up his chest underneath his shirt. He inhaled another sharp breath. The feel of her soft hands anywhere on his body was like a blazing fire. The touch scorched him every delicate inch she moved.

"You're killing me, Ava. You never answered my question." He shuddered as his body exploded into an inferno by her gentle touch.

She inched closer, pulling her hands out from underneath his shirt, grabbed it tightly and brought it up and over his head. She threw it over his shoulder and onto the floor. "I want you, too. I want to feel you, skin to skin. I have to feel you," she whispered as she continued to explore his chest.

Zane didn't wait for any further invitation. Her honest words had finally snapped him out of his stupor. He lowered his mouth to hers, kissing her as he had been wanting to do for so long. She instantly opened. The sweet mixture of tongues had him pulling her tighter into his arms. Kissing her softly, sensually, he moved his hands around her back and slowly up to trace her neck, her shoulders.

As soon as he felt her strap, he hooked a finger and brought it down with him as he brushed his hands down her arms, down the side of her body. When he reached her hips, he stopped, pulling her closer to his chest, making her move her hands to his back. He deepened the kiss as he crushed her into him, her soft breasts sinking into his glorious body. He loved the feeling against him just as he could feel she did too by the sigh that escaped her lips.

He stroked her back as he continued to kiss her thoroughly, not sure he ever wanted to release her beautiful lips. She kept pace with him, both relishing in the delicious flavor. Pressing his bulge into her center, she moaned into his mouth from the sweet contact. He rolled her to her back, laying his heavy body upon her and pressed into her again, creating another moan to enter his mouth. The sudden barrier of clothes was too much.

He pulled away from her mouth. "Ava, I need you so bad."

She stroked his back. "Then take me."

He rested his head against hers and sighed. "I can't. I don't have any protection. I haven't been with a woman in so long. I never expected this…with you."

Austin probably did. But was he brave enough to go ask his brother for condoms? Austin would know damn well who he intended use them with. No, he couldn't do it.

He lifted his head and saw her glorious smile.

"Well, I'm not on the pill either. Can we at least make out some more?" she asked with a sexy grin.

"I'd be happy to." He brought his mouth back down and kissed her as he never kissed her before. The passion he felt wrapped around his heart, tangled into his senses, and refused to let go. Slowly moving his hips again, grinding into her, he couldn't help but feel her against him. She arched up into him as he did, moaning deliriously into his mouth, driving him insane. They continued for a few more minutes, their movements increasing as the kissing increased. His hand started to slide down her body toward her panties without thinking, never breaking the kiss. He lightly touched her in her intimate spot. She bit his lip.

"Don't touch me there if you're not going any further," she whispered against his mouth. "I can't take it."

He cursed softly and moved his hands back up to her face, kissing her lightly on the lips and rolled onto his back. "Then we stop because we can't take it any further."

She moved around next to him and when she clung her body back to his, he felt her gown back on. "Can I still snuggle up against you? I may not be able to sleep if I can't," Ava said, stroking his chest.

He grabbed her hand to stop the motion. "No touching then. I may break and ravish you silly if you keep doing that." He blew out a deep breath. "We can't without protection, Ava. We'll have to wait. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm not mad. I'm sexually frustrated now, though."

He laughed lightly. "Join the club. I think it's worse than before I knew I could have you."

"Better make a store run tomorrow."

He grinned. "Yeah, that would be wise, or I guess we'll have another torturous night. How many more do I get with you?"

He never wanted her to leave. If he knew she'd stay forever, he would take her right now and be damned the consequences, but he wasn't sure how long she would stay. Jimmy left for the Big Apple and he grew up in Minnesota. Ava was born there and he knew how much she loved her home. He didn't think she'd stay with him—on a farm.

Ava hesitated with her answer. "I don't know. Let's take it one day at a time."

Not the answer he wanted, but he would take it. One more day with Ava was better than none.

Chapter 9

Ava stepped outside of the red barn carrying a bucket of goat milk, so proud of herself for doing it alone. Eleanor had said she was getting low on goat cheese and offered to show Ava how she makes it. It had fascinated her to know how, so she readily agreed. Zane had been in the kitchen when Eleanor made the comment. He had grinned deviously at her, melting her heart as tiny tingles of anticipation from the last time she milked a goat with him shattered her body.

She wanted to do it herself, though. They finished their regular morning chores and after lunch, she made her way to the red barn. Zane grinned the devious grin again as he walked away. He had turned around briefly with gentleness in his eyes as he told her to holler if she needed help. It made her feel precious inside that he had the utmost faith in her to milk the goat by herself. She had come a long way here and treasured each day as it went by.

She closed the door behind her. A faint smell drifted her way. That smell couldn't be mistaken for anything else.

Smoke.

Turning to the left, brown-grayish smoke billowed out from the woods behind the house. She dropped the bucket full of milk, splashes of liquid hit her leg as it spilled out on the ground. Racing behind the house, her eyes went wide as flames shot up from within the woods.

Turning around, she screamed, "Zane. Austin. There's a fire."

Her screams echoed around the yard as she rushed to the house to reach a phone since she never kept her cell phone with her anymore. Such strange behavior for her because in New York that device had been attached to her hip most of the time, while here, she barely remembered where she put it.

Just as she reached the front door, Zane ran out of the white barn. "What's the yelling for, Ava? What's wrong?"

"There's a fire in the woods behind the house. It looks like it's getting bigger by the second. It could reach the house." Ava rushed inside without waiting for his response.

Dashing to the kitchen where the landline hung, the entire unit almost fell to the floor, she yanked it so hard from the wall. Eleanor looked at her alarmed.

"Yes, I need the fire department. There's a fire behind our house. It looks like it's getting big, very fast." Ava paused as she talked to the 9-1-1 operator. Her eyes bulged, then looked at Eleanor, who looked shocked by her words. "I don't know the address here. Here, I'm going to let you talk to someone else."

Ava shoved the phone at Eleanor. "Help them get here. I have to go see how I can help put the fire out."

As she ran out of the kitchen, Eleanor shouted, "Stay away from that fire and make sure the boys do, too."

Ava raced for the backyard. Zane and Austin stood in the small field, wedged between the woods and the house. She ran up to them and grabbed Zane's hand without thought.

"It's bad. It's getting so strong, so fast," Ava said as she watched the flames crawl up the trees and slowly make their way to the edge of the field.

"I thought we could maybe stomp it out, but this…this is like a wildfire." Austin swore loudly. "If it hits the field, it'll run so fast up to the house and the barns. It's been a dry summer. This is just asking for it to be lit up."

"Did you call the fire department, Ava?" Zane asked without thought.

Ava gave him an exasperated look. "Of course I did."

"There's no stomping this out. How the hell did this happen?" Zane shouted as the wail of sirens could be heard in the distance. He turned toward Ava. "Go wait in the front of the house. I don't want you near this."

Ava raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a child. I can help."

"I don’t want you to help. I want you safe," Zane snapped.

"All right, no time to argue. She's right, Zane, we need all the help we can get. It's edging out of the woods." Austin pointed to the tree line as the orange-red flames danced toward the edge. The flames shot up in anger, circling the trees in a dangerous tango.

"It's going to hit the field. It'll hit the red barn before it hits the house. We have to get the animals out of there quickly," Austin said.

"Fine. You and Ava start collecting the chickens and goats while I'll let the horses out of the corral into the pasture. Put them in there for now. If it keeps moving toward that barn, we won't have to move the goats and whatnot a second time. We can just open the corral fence and shoo 'em out," Zane replied.

They all nodded and started running to their destination when the first fire truck came onto the property. Zane pointed to the back of the house, the driver nodding in understanding. Austin and Ava went to the red barn and rushed inside. Austin went toward the goats in the back as Ava opened the chicken coop.

She had no clue how to get them from here to the other barn area. She figured carrying one at a time would take too long. There were more than thirty chickens. They would just have to run around outside rather than burn alive trapped inside this cage, regardless of what Zane originally told her. He couldn’t be mad at her for this. He just hadn't been thinking.

She scrambled inside and started making them run out of the coop right outside to the fresh open air. Almost done, she saw two chickens hunkering down in a corner. Running over to them, they squabbled away from her right outside the door, clucking as they went.

She stepped outside the coop and noticed for the first time the slow white-gray smoke filtering in from outside. Covering her mouth, yet unable to stop the sudden coughing, she almost panicked. Then Zane came through the thick smoke.

"Come on, the fire is spreading faster than we imagined. It's almost to this barn. Let's go," he yelled, grabbing her arm and yanked her outside. He kept a hold of her as they ran toward the front of the house, yet still in eye view of the scene unfurling in the fields.

Austin met them. He had come from behind the red barn and had led the goats quickly to the cow pasture near the white barn, skipping the corral, and going straight to the pasture. They watched as three fire trucks had already arrived and the firefighters were dashing about their trucks, unhooking the hoses and spraying the fire out as best as they could.

One sat between the red barn and the house. The other two had driven behind the house, trying to stop it near the woods. The burning blaze had reached the field and lit a path like a fuse on dynamite. No more than twenty feet lay between destruction and the red barn. Eleanor had fled the house as well and stood next to them as they watched in horror at the devastation soon to come.

A few hay bales were situated next to the red barn. The fire didn’t stop to say hello as the firefighters tried swamping it with water. It ignited the hay bales with a glowing rage and started its demolition on the red barn with ease.

"Move," Austin yelled as another two fire trucks came into the yard. They all raced to the side as the trucks roared past them, immediately braking to help on the barn.

"Should we empty the white barn? Will they stop it in time?" Eleanor asked, shakily.

Ava grabbed her around the waist. "Eleanor, why don't you go sit down somewhere safe and we'll take care of it all? You don't look well on your feet."

"This is such déjà vu. It's horrible," Eleanor said as she let Ava help her to one of the farm trucks.

"We should start getting the pigs out into the pasture. Just in case. It came up quicker than I imagined, Zane," Austin whispered as they watched the fire department fight the fire as best as they could. The flames were winning at this point, half of the red barn wrapped up in a deep orange glow, licking its way around the structure with ease. They couldn’t tell how bad the house was faring, but a lot of smoke lifted in a mocking manner. Laughing at them as it raged war against them.

***

"Wow. I can't believe it. Look at those flames," Austin said in awe, standing next to Jimmy and Zane in the front yard near the hog barn as it burned furiously.

"How'd it happen? Is Dad gonna be okay in there?" Jimmy cried, grabbing Zane's hand.

Zane squeezed his hand in reassurance. "It's alright, Jimmy. Dad isn't in the barn. It's too far gone for him to save any more animals. He's just helping the firefighters as best as he can. I don't know how it happened. Things that we can't understand just happen sometimes."

"I was just in there finishing my chores Dad told me to do." Austin cringed. "How many pigs you think we lost? How many do you think Dad got out before he had to stop?"

Zane shook his head in response as he motioned his eyes at Austin to look at Jimmy, who was shaking like a leaf by his side. Austin sighed and nodded in understanding.

"Boys, what are you doing? Don't stand so close. Come on now," their mother hollered, walking unsteadily from the house.

Zane watched as his mother approached them fiercely even as he saw the struggle it took her to make the walk. She looked like an angel haloed in the bright firelight.

"Mom, we're not that close," Austin said.

"Austin James McCord, don't argue with me. You boys get into the field behind the house now and stay far away from that barn fire. You come with me," she demanded.

Zane eyed Austin again, his look insisting they follow directions as he tugged Jimmy with him. "Mom, are you okay? Are you doing alright?" Zane asked. She normally was in bed where the cancer slowly ate away at her. She was always in so much pain.

She smiled sweetly at Zane and pulled him into her side. "I'm just fine as long as my boys are fine. You were too close to that fire, Zane. You're the oldest. You need to take care of your brothers always, no matter what. I won't always be here to do that, so I'm counting on you. Do you hear me?"

Zane smiled remorsefully at her. "I hear you, Mom. I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I'll always take care of them, no matter what."

***

"Zane, did you hear me?" Austin screamed as the noise around the farm suddenly became deafening.

Zane looked at Austin. "Sorry. I…I heard you. We should. Just in case. Remember years back when the hog barn lit on fire, we lost a lot of pigs that day, even as Dad tried getting them out."

Austin sighed. "Yeah, I remember all right. Smoke hadn't helped Mom at all. She died shortly afterwards."

Zane cringed at the memory and started to walk to the barn as Ava met back up with them. He started to speak when she cut him off. "Don't even argue. What are we doing? I'll help."

Zane glared at her. "Getting the pigs out just in case. The fire is going fast so…come on already."

They rushed into the barn and started opening the stalls at the back, leading the pigs out into the pasture. They created a system, one Zane made sure Ava was far away from the front as possible. She stood at the back door guiding the pigs out as Zane and Austin unlatched each stall and made the pigs exit.

It took them no time at all, at least it felt that way to them, and headed back to the front yard where they looked upon the firefighters once more. They watched in silence as they battled the red barn. The uncertainty of the house spun around them. Zane had good hopes it was going well as no high flames emerged from the house yet. The red barn was a loss cause, but it didn't matter. The two people standing next to him—and Eleanor in the truck—that mattered. Just trying to keep his word to his mother always to take care of his brothers. He failed with Jimmy, but he wouldn't fail anymore.

***

Ava sat on the porch swing swaying with the afternoon breeze. Yesterday had been a long day, turning into a long night. Eight fire trucks responded. They struggled with the burning inferno in the woods and teetered on the edge of calling for neighboring re-enforcements. They managed to spare the house. Small charred lines dashed up the back of the house, but it never ignited into anything. The fire destroyed the red barn, the field, and part of the woods.

The task of rounding the pigs up took time and an enormous amount of energy. They managed to find three of the goats. They had yet to locate the one Ava milked twice. Gerta, as she liked to call her.

Zane gave her an exasperated look when she frowned at them that they hadn't found Gerta yet. Austin laughed at the silly name. Half the chickens were rounded up, placing them in the white barn in an empty stall. Some had died, crushed by the fire trucks as they sped into the yard. Austin and Zane weren't too concerned, but it was distressing, nonetheless. Ava saw the misery in their eyes at the loss of the barn and the field where they baled some of their hay. Thankfully, it hadn't been the cornfields.

She had seen the devastation on their faces, the worn-out expressions from the hard night. They were still working with little sleep as Ava took a small rest. She hadn't wanted to, but knew she needed it. Normally, she didn't work this hard around the farm. Her body forgot the meaning of hard work, nor up to par from her injuries.

She used to work out frequently before she was injured and hadn't once since that fateful day. Her body ached in so many places. Zane had seen her draining lifelessly right in front of him, demanding she go lie down. She started to argue with him about it, but he threatened her it was in her best interest to lie down or see his wrath. She knew he wouldn't do anything harmful. He was only worried about her.

She reluctantly agreed and compromised by having a seat on the swing. The horrible smell of charred wood lingered in the air. It saddened her that they lost even a little portion of the farm yesterday, even angered her.