Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1) (19 page)

"Nope. Just making conversation. I guess I better get back to helping on the barn now. Can't wait to try those biscuits."

"Well, I hope they're good. It's not looking good so far," Ava said dreadfully as she looked at the mess in front of her. Ingredients filtered everywhere on the counter, different types of spoons lying around, each one messy. Measuring cups galore with several bowls all filled with something. Now she wasn't sure if she counted the appropriate cups of flour into the bowl.

"I'm sure they'll be delicious. Zane will love them," Austin said with a wink.

"They aren't just for him. Knock it off."

Austin laughed as he started to walk out, then turned back to her just before he got to the door. "I can't wait until you're truly my sister. It's so much fun picking on you."

He left her standing there with shock on her face and a little confusion mixed in.

***

"These biscuits are delicious, Ava," Zane said as he took another bite.

Ava glared at him. "You're lying to me. They aren't that good. Not like Eleanor makes them."

"Now, Ava, it takes practice to get them just right, but Zane's not lying, they are good," Eleanor said with a sweet smile.

"Yes, but not delicious," Ava pointed out.

"They are to me so accept my compliment. I know for a fact the apple-pie will be just as delicious because the first one you made was," Zane said honestly.

"You did good, Ava. I agree. I was a little concerned when I saw you earlier. All the ingredients were on you and not in the bowl," Austin said, a deep sigh escaping as his eyes twinkled with delight.

"You better stop it, Austin. You've been off the hook today with your comments," Ava said with a scowl.

"What other comments?" Zane noticed the exchange of looks between the two.

He could still remember how Austin's shirt looked when he came back to the red barn's rubble. He wondered how he got flour all over him. Even risked asking him. Austin had told him that Ava hugged him when he told her he found Gerta. Shockingly, jealousy suddenly coursed through him over his own brother. He had almost knocked Austin down for even touching Ava like that, but stopped himself before he moved one inch.

Just a sister to Austin, he knew that. Jealousy lingered anyway. The doubt had started to worm its way inside. Austin had always been the best one with the women. Austin could make Ava laugh without effort. He saw it all the time.

He took another bite of his biscuit as he waited for one of them to respond before he blurted something out he would regret.

"Nothing. Just teasing her is all, Zane, you know, about Gerta. I told her you still don't think of Gerta as a pet," Austin said.

"A goat isn't a pet." Zane looked at Ava, who suddenly looked unhappy. "But if it makes you feel better, I can consider thinking of the goat…Gerta, as a pet."

Ava glanced at Zane with surprise. He smiled warmly at her. She smiled tentatively back. "Thank you, Zane. Gerta would like to hear you say that to her."

"Well, that's stretching it a little too far for me to talk to her that way," Zane said awkwardly.

"Baby steps. We're making headway here because you called her Gerta," Ava said happily.

Zane smiled at her and kept eating. Maybe he'd eventually get there if she stayed with him forever.

But that would never happen.

***

Ava sat on the swing, enjoying the afternoon air. The wind bit her cheeks as the sun beat hotly on her. Sweat rolled down in trickles because of the humidity, but she still enjoyed it all.

One week had passed since the fierce fire swept through their aching hearts. They finally finished removing all evidence of the red barn. Austin and Zane started building the foundation of the new barn that she insisted be red again. Zane had smiled at her and said that wasn't a problem. With regular chores still needing their attention, not much had been accomplished yet.

The week had been long and tiring. But the hard work they put in made all her aches and pains worth it. It wasn't just physical aches coursing through her body, but sexual ones. Zane still hadn't made it to the store for condoms and Ava wasn't going to buy any.

He continued his torturous arousal of her body at night, stopping just before he committed the actual sin. She wondered if he didn't want to go all the way. He had been to town numerous times over the past week, plenty of opportunities to stop at a drugstore. Yet, when he explored her body at night, it didn't seem as if he didn't want her. It was so confusing, along with Austin's continued teasing that she was Zane's woman. Did Zane see her like that? No correct words could define what was between them. At first, it was comfort, feeling secure. Now, it all left her wondering.

He was Jimmy's brother, making it slightly awkward. Immoral. Wrong. Strange.

The bedroom was their safety zone where they could share the truth and honesty between them, yet she never broached the subject. Or the fact she had talked to her father yesterday.

"How are you doing, sweetheart? You sound better."

Ava had smiled even though her dad couldn’t see. "I'm feeling a lot better. I don't know what happened to me, Dad. I was just so lost in the beginning, but it's been good here."

"That's good to hear. I was starting to get really worried about you until Austin stepped into my office. I would've sent you away for help. I would've. I know you lost someone dear to you and not in a good way, but you still have to live. You have to be strong."

"I know, Dad. I am stronger now. It's still hard thinking about Jimmy, but it gets a little better each day. Austin and Zane have been great. I think it's helped all of us."

"Zane? He's been decent to you? Because I remember trying to talk to him and he wasn't that friendly. Nor did I hear that he had any high opinions of you."

Ava had taken a deep breath, wondering how to respond. "He's been decent. We've worked out our differences and came to an understanding. I wouldn't be where I am without him…and Austin, too, of course."

"Good. When do you think you're coming back home? I can hear you're better."

Ava had frowned; glad her dad couldn't see her now. "Soon, I guess. They still haven't located Frank Westlen who started the fire. I'm not leaving until he's been caught. I already threatened the chief of police, just so you know, that he better not screw things up or I'll take care of it all. Just in case I need bail money."

Peter had laughed heartily in her ear. "You did, did you? That sounds like my Ava. I'd be there in a heartbeat for you. Nobody's locking up my little girl." He sighed. "I understand if you need to stay until then. I hope it's soon you come home, though, because I miss you."

"I miss you, too, Dad."

Ava whirled that conversation in her head until a pounding ache formed in her chest. She missed New York, but she would also miss this farm. She would miss Zane furiously, knowing he wouldn't visit her. Ever.

Her thoughts were still scrambled when Chief Tanner pulled into the yard. She stood up from the swing, taking her time as she met him at the bottom of the steps.

"Good afternoon, Chief Tanner," Ava said brightly. She pasted on a smile as if she hadn't been sitting there worried over the way her life was going.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Rainer. I heard you paid a visit to the station a few days ago. Left quite an impression on Officer Dorcher," Chief Tanner said nicely.

"Did I? I was very polite, if I do say so myself," Ava said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yes, you were. I meant that he was infatuated."

Ava blushed. "Oh. Well, give him my regrets because I've always had the 'no dating cops' rule. Growing up a cop's daughter and all."

"I'll be sure to let him down gently." Chief Tanner smiled. "I assume you're satisfied with the progress of the case. You didn't storm my office yet."

"Oh, Chief Tanner, I sure do like you and your forthrightness. You've done an excellent job as you have your suspect with supporting evidence to go with it. The only thing I'm raging about is that Frank hasn't been found yet. I know that's not your fault. Not my area of expertise, locating suspects, but I wouldn't mind taking over as it is highly frustrating."

"I'm glad I've passed your inspection," Chief Tanner said with a small chuckle, then turned a little serious. "Are the boys around?"

"Why do you always call them boys?"

He laughed. "I don't know. Always have, I guess. I was close friends with their dad and just see them as sons to me. Makes them my boys. Good fine men they turned out to be."

"I agree. I'm glad they have you to look out for them."

"I guess I could say the same about you…looking out for them. Quite a fierce young lady you are."

"Thanks, Chief. And in answer to your question. They're in the fields, checking the crops and the cows and whatnot. They should be coming back soon if you want to wait for them."

"No, I'll just tell you and end your suspense. We found Frank Westlen and he's in custody," Chief Tanner said with a wide smile.

"Oooo, Chief, I should—" Ava shook her head in a teasing manner. "Why didn't you start with that news? Where was he?"

"He was hiding out with some of his drug buddies in St. Cloud. St. Cloud Narcotics Unit conducted a drug raid, and when they ran him through the system, they saw our warrant. He's still sitting in their jail on drug charges, along with assault on a police officer, resisting arrest, amongst other charges. He's not going anywhere for the foreseeable future."

"Good. I won't have to worry about Zane and Austin when I leave. Did he confess?"

"I just talked with him myself this morning and he asked for a lawyer. Don't worry about it though, because we have his sister, who got a plea deal on her accessory charges in exchange for testifying against him. We also have a fingerprint on one of the glass shards that are his. We got him." Chief Tanner started for his vehicle. "Let the boys know for me."

"I'll do that. Thanks for the quick work on the matter. I apologize if I offended you in any way with my words, but I wouldn't take any of them back," Ava said with a grin.

"You have a funny way of apologizing, Ms. Rainer," Chief Tanner said with a laugh. "I'm sorry to hear you're leaving. I have a feeling the boys will miss you greatly." He gave her a funny look she didn't understand and then continued, "I could always use a great crime scene investigator in my department if you're ever interested in a job."

Ava jerked slightly. "Thank you, Chief. I appreciate the kind gesture. I'll keep it in mind, but as of right now, I'll be heading home to New York."

"Are you sure about that?" He winked at her and got in his vehicle, leaving Ava standing there dumbfounded.

Chapter 11

Ava turned up the volume a bit, took a sip of beer, and looked at Jimmy. "Did you talk to Zane today yet?"

Jimmy groaned. "I was wondering when you would assault me with that question. No, I haven't."

"Have you at least talked to Austin?"

"Ava, I have no issues with Austin, so yes, actually today. He said Zane's just as stubborn as the day he was born. Don't worry, okay?"

Ava nudged him in the shoulder. "I'll always worry until you two make up. How's Austin?"

"He's good. Has a new woman. Go figure. He said he can't wait for spring to officially start because it was a slightly rough winter. Farm wise for them, that is." Jimmy sighed.

"Why did you ever leave the farm? I can see you miss it terribly at times."

"Because I wasn't meant to do that. I love the farm, don't get me wrong. It's my home. I have great memories, but I always wanted to be a cop. Now Zane, he always wanted the farm. He'll never leave."

"Why New York then? You could have been a cop there."

"True. I don't know. I figured if I was going to be a cop, I was going to go big or go home. No other place on earth to be a cop, but here, right? My world would be a sadder place without knowing you," Jimmy replied as he nudged her shoulder.

"That is all true as well," Ava said with a smile. "I just wish Zane would've come here to visit rather than causing a fight."

"Me too. I'm actually surprised he came for that. He told me he would never step foot in this city for any reason."

"Well, call him tomorrow," Ava said with a smile.

"Yeah, okay mom," Jimmy replied sarcastically.

Ava took another sip of beer and almost spit it out. "Oh, come on. You should've caught that ball, idiot," Ava screamed at the TV.

"Calm down, Ava, it's only spring training," Jimmy said laughing.

"Oh, no, Jimmy. It all counts even in spring training. If that joker in the center field can't catch a ball now, who is to say he can catch it in the regular season." She looked back at the TV and shouted, "Take him out of the game."

"Oh, boy. To think the Yankees could miss the World Series. That would be horrible," Jimmy said, placing a hand over his heart in a mock gesture.

Ava shoved her empty bottle at him. "Get me another one before I sock you one for uttering such horrible words in my presence."

Jimmy laughed and got up from the couch. "Sorry, Ava, that was the last one you just drained."

"Make a run, smartass."

A knock sounded as he shut the fridge. Jimmy glanced at her with a grin as he walked to the door. "Let's hope that's the beer patrol."

Ava rolled her eyes as she glanced back at the TV and saw the same outfielder miss another catch, letting the Rays score another run. "Ugh. Take him out already."

"Oh, are the Yankees losing, Ava?" Mahone asked as he plopped down next to her with a devilish grin.

"Get out, Mahone, if you're going to speak ill about my Yankees. They'll come back, they always do."

"What? I brought a peace offering," Mahone said as he handed her a beer.

Ava smiled and took the beer. "I guess you can stay a while. Now that I think about it, the Dodgers play next. Watch what you say because I can dish it out just as nicely."

Mahone lost his grin briefly and then said, "Game on, Ava."

Jimmy grinned as he sat down on the other chair. "Now why would I want to be anywhere other than New York? I'd miss these beautiful moments."

Ava smiled at him. "That's right. There's no place like New York."

***

"What's the cake for? It's delicious, by the way," Austin said as he spooned another delectable bite into his mouth, rolling his eyes up in bliss.

"Well, I guess I could've told you guys right away when you got back from the fields, but I wanted to make a cake and thought I would tell you now," Ava said.

"You're pregnant?" Austin exclaimed.

"What?" Zane shouted, as he threw his fork down looking at Ava, who looked just as shocked.

"What is wrong with you, Austin? Are you mad?" Ava asked, glaring.

"What? It was a legitimate question," Austin said with a wily smirk.

"You need to have sex to get pregnant. You should know, you get plenty. I'm not pregnant. I'm positive I would tell the father privately before I would at a table full of people," Ava said matter-of-factly.

Zane cleared his throat and picked his fork back up, taking another bite of cake.

Ava refused to look at Zane. He had sounded angry. Did he think she slept with someone else? Did he not want a child with her?

"Sorry. My mistake." He smiled at Ava. "So, what did you want to tell us?"

"Chief Tanner stopped by today while you two were out in the fields. They found Frank. He won't be going anywhere for a long time as he had other charges tagged on from a drug bust."

Zane sighed heavily as Austin grinned.

"That's great news. A cake was a great idea to break that story," Austin said.

"I, for one, am happy to hear that. That horrible family doing what they did. Imagine if you never left that barn and the fire caught up to you, Ava," Eleanor said, alarmed.

"Well, it didn’t happen that way, so everything is good now," Ava said glancing at Zane finally. "Aren't you happy to hear that, Zane?"

He looked at her and gave a weak smile. "Of course. That's great news. Just a lot on my mind with the farm. Wouldn't have it at all if it wasn't for Frank Westlen."

"Well, I say this deserves a beer in salute. Let's turn on the baseball game. It's not the Yankees, but it can be an opportunity to turn you into a Twins fan," Austin said in teasing manner to Ava.

Ava laughed. "That will never happen, Austin. I love my Yankees and will until the day I die. I might have to catch a game when I get home just because I miss them so much."

"Home? When are you going home?" Zane asked with a hint of desperation.

Ava averted her eyes. "Well, I talked to my dad today…and yesterday, actually. He called to see how I was doing and I told him about Frank. He wanted to know when he was caught. He was ready to send the whole New York police force here to help look for him." Ava laughed as she glanced at Zane, who sat there expressionless.

"I feel better. You guys have helped me so much and I'm glad I came out here. He asked me to come home if I was ready to. I don't think I'll ever fully heal from losing Jimmy, but I've healed enough to move on with my life in a better way."

Austin pulled Ava in a side hug. "I'm glad you came. It was nice getting to know you a little better and hear some good stories about Jimmy. I'll miss you. I'll come visit you, if you don't mind."

"Thanks, Austin. I would enjoy the visit anytime," Ava said, squeezing him back.

"Well, dear, I will wait for you to visit here as I'm not the best flier. I will miss you, though. You've been such a wonderful addition to this family," Eleanor said with sincerity.

"I'll miss you, too, Eleanor. Hope I can call with baking questions?" Ava asked with a silly grin. "I was never much of a baker before. I'm still not."

"Of course, dear. I'm always a phone call away."

"Will you come visit me, Zane?" Ava asked tentatively, glancing at him.

Zane snapped his head at her and glared slightly. "No. I told you I'd never step foot in that city ever again and I meant it. You want to see me, then you'll have to come to the farm."

"The city isn't so bad. If you just—"

"When are you leaving?" Zane snapped, cutting her off.

"In two days," Ava said, maintaining eye contact, not quite figuring out what he was thinking.

"Wow, that's quick. Now I'm really going to miss you. You don't have to leave so quickly. If ever," Austin said jokingly.

"I can't stay forever, Austin. It's nice of you to say so. It's time. I miss New York," Ava said, getting up from the table. Nobody said anything as she scooted her chair in. "Excuse me, I'm finished eating and need to use the bathroom."

"I think I'm done, too. You boys go and turn the game on for Ava and I'll pick up this mess," Eleanor said.

"Thanks, Eleanor," Austin said, getting up as well.

***

Zane followed Austin to the living room and as soon as they were out of earshot of the women, Austin whipped around into Zane's face. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What? What did I do?"

"Nothing. That's what. Tell her to stay."

"Why would I do that? You heard her. She misses New York, she'll never stay."

"Don't you love her?"

"Why do you always bring that up? Does it matter?" Zane tried to walk away, but Austin grabbed his shirt into a fist.

"Yes, it matters. Just tell her already. You two are driving me nuts walking around this house not shouting it to each other already," Austin said furiously.

"Let go of my shirt, Austin, before I make you," Zane said through clenched teeth.

"Make me then, Zane. Go ahead and punch me. Will it take the pain away? Will it make losing her any less harder? You've had so many opportunities to tell that woman you love her, to ask her to stay with you, and you always stand there silent. You're letting the best thing to walk into your life, walk out. You're an idiot."

"Maybe you think so, but then again, you don't know what love is. You go from woman to woman so fast I'm surprised your head doesn't spin right off. Love is making her happy. If going back to New York makes her happy, then I'm not going to stop her. Now let go of my shirt because I will punch you," Zane said heatedly.

Austin let go and backed away. "You're still an idiot. You just admitted you love her and won't do anything about it. Are you at least going to tell her?"

"I'm done talking to you," Zane growled as he walked away from Austin without another word.

***

Zane stood in his bathroom staring at the box of condoms he finally bought today. He shuffled them in his hands. What should he do? At the last minute, he tossed them in the trashcan as he walked out of the bathroom. If Ava planned to leave in two days, then he didn't want a real taste of her that way. It would just leave him wanting more that he couldn't have.

He made his way to her room, even as he did, dreading it. Only two more nights with her. She was leaving him and he couldn't stop her. Sighing heavily, he thought of Austin, who thought he could. Austin just didn't understand. He was doing this for her own good. She wouldn't be happy here. She always talks about New York as heaven and he refused to take that away from her.

He opened her door, shut it quietly, and climbed into bed. Ava immediately crawled to him and curled into his frame. It never mattered what happened during the day. They always managed to leave it at the door, unless one of them opened their mouths, which they rarely did.

They lay in silence as Zane rubbed her back as he normally did. Most of the time, he brought his hands in other places as well. But this time, he made his hands stay firmly on her back.

"Why won't you come visit me? I wish you would," Ava whispered into his chest.

Zane stilled his hands. "Ava, I already told you I won't. Please stop asking me."

She lifted her head. "But why not?"

"Because I can't. Just like you said you healed, but not fully. Well, I'm the same way. New York reminds me of Jimmy and I can't handle that. Even before he died, I hated that city. Imagine how I feel about it now when I know he died there. Don't ask me to go."

Ava grasped his cheek. "Okay."

Zane closed his eyes as she caressed his cheek, slowly bringing her hand down his neck onto his chest. She rested her head back down on his chest and softly stroked him. He lay there silently as he let her smooth her silky hand around his body. She steadily made her way to the edge of his boxers. He had stopped wearing a shirt and sweats to bed one night without asking and she hadn't objected once.

A small hand started to reach underneath when he grabbed her hand. "Don't. I can't take the pain."

"You didn't buy any condoms yet?"

Zane sucked in a breath. "No."

"Then let me do this," Ava whispered.

Zane maintained his grip on her hand, bringing it back up to his chest. "No."

"Please. You always make me feel good, let me make you feel good for once."

"Ava, you always make me feel good. Just lying here with you makes me feel good. I don't need that. I don't want it." Zane sighed. "You're leaving in two days, it's probably best we don't."

She suddenly rolled on top of him and grabbed his face into her soft hands, lowered her mouth and kissed him. He couldn't resist her kiss and met her assaulting tongue with ease. She lifted her mouth and whispered, "I may be leaving, but I still want you. Let me have you."

Zane looked into her eyes, wishing he could give in. He just couldn't. "Ava, I'm sorry. Please—"

He stopped talking when she started moving on top of him, grinding softly into his heat. "You like that, don't you?"