Protecting You (A McCord Family Novel Book 1) (11 page)

Dani tried not to look rude or appalled she had to shake her hand, but begrudgingly accepted. "You too, Ava. How well did you know Jimmy?"

"I knew Jimmy well, if you know what I mean," Ava said without thinking, irritated by this woman's demeanor. Couldn't Austin see the jealousy reeking from this woman?

Austin jerked next to her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for asking. It must've been hard to lose him." Dani smiled and then looked at Austin, who looked shocked. "And I'm so sorry for your loss, Austin. I know you guys were close. I would have told you that sooner if you had only called me."

"Thank you, Dani. It has been hard," Austin said, with a bit of anger that was laced toward Ava as he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

Ava shifted away from him. Why was he upset at her? Could he really not see how horrible this woman was?

"Well, I suppose it helps to have Jimmy's girlfriend here. She was close to him I'm sure right before he died," Dani said with sympathy that came out more like joy.

Ava smiled, hiding her sudden anger, appalled by this woman's manner. She wondered how much Austin liked this woman. An insane urge to slap her and protect Austin ran wild inside.

Two separate women who flaunted themselves at each brother and it just made her so mad. She had no idea why the rage flowed like hot lava on an erupting volcano, but the intense feeling swirled through her veins, fueling her. Unlike watching Zane, she felt no jealousy, just a strong need to protect Austin.

"You have no idea how close I was when he died."

Zane suddenly appeared at her side and grabbed her arm. "I think it's time we leave. Animals need tending to."

Dani gave a pouty face as she looked at Austin. "All of you are leaving?"

Austin didn't even attempt a smile. "Sorry, Dani. You know how it is working on a farm. We gotta go. I'll talk to you another time."

"You're leaving, too, Zane. I just got us another beer." Sandra stepped close to Zane, who still held onto Ava tightly.

"I told you I was leaving, Sandra. You just didn't listen to me. It's time we go," Zane said.

The redhead glared at her, just as annoyed with her as Dani had been.

"You didn't introduce me to your friend you're holding on to," Sandra said, eyeing Zane's grip on Ava's arm.

Enough was enough. "What, you didn't hear Dani point out that I was Jimmy's girlfriend? Are you deaf? Or you're just assuming something is going on with me and Zane here? Is that why he's holding onto me? One brother gone, now I can move on to another in the family. Which one shall I choose? Austin or Zane?"

Ava looked between the two as she said it, both bewildered by her outspokenness. Suddenly their anger dissipated to confusion. Why had they been angry to begin with? Ava threw Zane's arm off and stepped into the women's faces.

"How about you two run along. Jimmy was my close friend. I would have brushed away anyone I believed not worthy of his time in a heartbeat, just as I will to the both of you. You're despicable. Neither of you are good enough for these two men. You won't be getting near them while I'm around. So you better get the hell out of my face before I show you how we do things the New York way," Ava said firmly, her fists clenched by her sides.

"Well, I never. You're rude," Dani spouted.

"Oh, I can be more than rude. I will not repeat myself either," Ava said menacingly.

Dani and Sandra huffed together in unison and walked away.

Ava turned around to Zane and Austin, who still looked baffled, and glared at them.

"You two need to learn how to pick appropriate women. I would never have stood for Jimmy dating such despicable women. Couldn't you see the way they flaunted themselves at you? Couldn't you see the jealousy towards me? They were rude. I sure in the hell won't allow the two of you to date that kind of trash. They weren't even that pretty. To think they were jealous as they were. They have stalker written all over them. I'm ready to go home." She shoved between them and walked away.

***

Austin looked at Zane as they followed Ava, listening without complaint. "What just happened there?"

"I'm not sure. I think we just saw part of the old Ava emerge. Did you see her fists clenched as if she wanted to hit them? She had that same look when she hollered at me how many months ago. Surprisingly, I'm not sorry she did that. I didn't like Sandra anyway," Zane replied with a small grin.

They walked a while when Zane finally said, "Do you think there was more to her and Jimmy's friendship than she's telling us? Do you think they were a couple or something?"

Austin walked a bit before he responded, "I don't know. She did give that impression back there. Maybe that's why she struggles so much. I was pissed when I first heard her insinuate that. I wanted to know right then and there why she would keep that from us." He paused and looked at Zane. "How does that make you feel?"

"Why the hell would you ask me that? Does it matter?"

"I'm not dumb, Zane. I heard you this morning when you spoke about her. I saw the way you held her. I think you like her a little more than you want to. Not that I mind, because I love Ava like a sister, nothing more. Would your feelings change if you knew she slept with Jimmy?"

Zane snapped his head at Austin. "Let's drop it."

Hell yeah, his feelings would change. He barely could stand it when she smiled at Austin. Always at Austin. It broke him every time he saw that. He wanted her, just once, to smile at him like that. But she never did.

Ava was waiting by the truck when they finally made it. The ride home was silent. Before they could talk to her about what happened when they got home, she fled to her room. They weren't positive they wanted to delve into what she meant by her words or actions, especially Zane. When supper rolled around, they left her alone for the first time since she arrived.

Eleanor knocked on her door after they ate, managing to get her to leave her room for a small bite. She immediately retreated to her room for the remainder of the night.

***

Zane lay awake, glimpsing at the clock every so often. He still had another few hours before she started screaming and he'd rush to her side. He kept going over in his mind the words she spoke, the way she protected them from those women. Had she been jealous? How could that be? She couldn't like both him and Austin like that at the same time, could she? Did he even want her to like him more than a friend—more than a brother?

Damn it, he did.

Did she sleep with Jimmy? His stomach lurched at the thought. Jealous of his own brother if he had slept with her.

Each night he held her, her completely unaware. So many times, he wanted to do more than just hold her. Move his hands a little further south or to the front. But no, he kept his hands firmly on her back.

It all made sense if they had. The reason why Jimmy spoke out against him. Why he took Ava's side over his. Why he loved New York so much. The fact he took a bullet for her. Jimmy must have loved Ava more than a sister. They both had been lying to him and Austin.

He didn't want her on the farm any longer, if that were the case. His feelings were getting stronger by the minute, the more he was around her, the more he held her in his arms at night. Broaching the subject could ruin everything. The truth would be out and he'd have to make a decision. The best course of action for his shattered heart would be to ignore her. Even at night. That's what he would do. But the moment he heard her scream, he rushed to her side, pretending nothing happened that day. He pretended for another whole week the day never happened—as did Austin.

***

Zane tossed his plate into the sink when Austin walked into the kitchen. Ava wasn't with him. "Where's Ava?"

"She wanted to go for a walk on her own and I didn't argue." Austin opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. He took a long swallow, then twisted the bottle in his hand. "What are we doing, Zane? What happened to us that morning and deciding that we needed to talk with her more? About Jimmy. I think it's gotten worse than before she arrived. She's eating, that's a plus, but besides that strange outburst at the church, she barely talks anymore. I'm surprised she even gets out of bed."

Zane could see the pain in his brother's eyes that his plan was going downhill to help Ava. "I don't know. I don't know what to say."

"Is she still having nightmares at night? I haven't told her what you said and you haven't mentioned anything lately."

"Yes," Zane replied, not really wanting to talk about it.

It happened every single night. He held her, soothed her, pretended all was right in his world. That she was his. Each morning his mouth opened to ask if she slept with Jimmy. The momentary urge would disappear when he gazed just a touch too long at her gorgeous face. He couldn't hear the answer because it would ruin everything. It would break him into pieces where he probably couldn't be put back together.

"That's it? Just yes. How bad are they?"

"Same as always. Bad. I don't want to talk about it."

"Did you ask her yet?"

Zane looked at him finally, as he had been staring at the floor the entire conversation. "No. Did you?" he countered, knowing exactly what Austin was talking about. Did she sleep with Jimmy?

"Nope," Austin said, pausing briefly. "Don't you think we should finally talk to her about it? Ask her?"

"No. I can't know." He pushed away from the counter he had been leaning against for support. Not just the physical kind either. "If she said she did, I don't want her here on the farm. Simple as that. I'd rather not know."

He didn't wait for a response and left Austin in the kitchen. Zane wondered where Ava wandered to, but not enough to search for her. He savored the nights, but tried his hardest to stay away from her during the day. Hell, he barely talked to her or even yelled at her anymore.

Suddenly, he remembered Eleanor telling him earlier this morning she wanted more goat milk, so he headed to the red barn. He made his way to the back of the barn with deep, long strides. His steps slowed as he neared his destination. Ava sat talking to the goats. So damn adorable. He didn't hear what she said and as soon as she noticed his presence, she stopped talking.

"Were you talking to the goats?" She always amazed him with the simplest of things.

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" Her cheeks reddened as if she were embarrassed she got caught.

"No. You tend to do it in the mornings. I just never realized you did it at other times during the day. It's cute." He grinned, apparently surprising her further as her face brightened with pleasure.

"Well, I like talking to them. They're good listeners."

"They're goats. They aren't going to talk back, you know."

"I know. That's why they're good listeners."

"What were you talking about?"

"Nothing." She started to walk away. He stepped in front of her to halt her escape. Her eyes refused to meet his.

"Eleanor wants some goat milk. Have you ever milked a goat?" he asked, not sure why. He should just let her walk out.

"No. As you should know. That's a silly question."

"Do you want to learn?" he asked softly, wishing she would look him in the eyes.

Ava finally looked at him. Biting her lip, he could see the indecision clear on her face. Why couldn't she ever smile once at him like she did with Austin?

"If it's such a difficult question than just get the hell out."

He couldn't stand it. Here he was, trying to be polite and she acted like she hated being near him. As usual. Why did he even try with her? Why did he pain himself at night?

Zane stomped away to the back door and entered the outside pen where he saw the goat he wanted. The only one who hadn't listened to Ava inside the barn. Maybe she didn't want to hear what Ava had to say either. He muttered under his breath how stupid he was for even thinking such a thing. It was a damn goat!

He brought the goat over to their milking station and grabbed everything he needed. He was about to start cleaning the goats teats off when Ava spoke softly behind him. "I would like to learn how to milk a goat. Please."

He stood up from the bucket and turned toward her. "What are you waiting for then? Get over here. I don't have all damn day." He gestured for her to sit down on the bucket.

She walked over to him, and before she sat down, she glared at him. "Why do you have to be mean about it?"

"I don't know. It's easier I guess." He tried not to lean closer. She stood a few inches from him. The temptation to pull her into his arms and kiss her overwhelmed him so much, he took a step back.

"I don't understand."

"Sit down or leave."

Ava gave up and sat down on the bucket. If she was shocked when he sat down as well and scooted her butt up a little, she gave no indication. Resisting her seemed futile. He needed her close to him for just a little while.

"First, you have to clean her teats. You have to make sure nothing lands in the bucket other than milk. Grab that clean cloth over there. Put it in the warm water and gently rub down on her teats. It soothes the goat into relaxing and helps release the milk better," he said softly into her ear. He had to move his mouth away before he landed a kiss to her delicate neck, yet he didn't.