Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon) (8 page)

Kathryn moved to sit beside her friend and Beta, embracing
her warmly. “I know, my dear. I know.” She met Billie's eyes without wavering.
“He's wrong. I will do everything in my power to prevent it from coming to
that. I have no desire to watch you kill my mate in order to protect your own.
Neither will I stand in his hypocrisy. Dearling, if the worst must happen, I
will stand with you.”

“I don't understand.” She’d been saying those words a lot
and didn’t like it. Confusion showed on every line of her face. “My first
instinct is to protect my mate. Isn't it the same for you?”

Kathryn smiled sadly and took a deep breath. Kato’s eyes
shone bright with anticipation. “I've told you of meeting Richard during the
Civil Rights Movement. For nearly a century he'd fought tirelessly for equal
rights, and I loved him for it. Before long we discovered our matebond and
eventually married. I have never explained why his work is so dear to my
heart.”

She paused in painful memory. As she told her story, Billie
finally understood why her friend didn't speak about her life before Richard.
“My father was a very wealthy and influential man, and I his youngest daughter.
He owned the largest tract of land in our region, worked by many slaves. By
their labor, he grew rich, and by their suffering, I lived a privileged life
with fancy toys and pretty dresses. My father, a cruel and selfish man, did not
tolerate my kind words towards them. He discovered me one day, laughing with my
maid and brushing her hair. To punish me, he had my maid whipped and sold
before the day's end. He forced me to watch her tortured and led away by her new
owner like cattle. My mother chided my foolishness, and my sisters laughed at
me. As a child I watched the people my father owned and learned to hide the
disgust I felt.

“The Civil War began, and my father gave aid to the South.
He worked long hours, as did my mother and sisters. In their distraction, I
found some freedom. One day, as I dallied by the river, I spied a teenage boy
not much older than I at the time. He looked at me through the trees, frozen in
dread. He held a small sack containing all his belongings, and his bare feet
were raw with sores.

“I asked him: 'Where are you going?'

“'North,' he said, and his voice trembled. I couldn't turn
him over to his owner to be tortured or killed. I'd witnessed the example made
of runaway slaves to warn others from the attempt. Instead I showed him to a
forgotten shack and gave him the food in my pocket. On my way home, I
encountered slave catchers searching for the young man. When they asked about
the boy, I lied. I feared my father's temper if caught, and I knew he would not
beat me. He would whip my maid instead, knowing my affection for her. My maid
was a kind girl who would have approved of my actions, and so I risked her
safety. I hoped if caught my father would not kill her. That night I could not
meet her eyes for the guilt I felt, and I could not explain my actions to her
without risking her more.

“I assume the boy told a trustworthy individual about me,
for the reverend of a nearby church approached me within days. He asked if he
could send others to me for shelter and food. I became a station for freedom
under the nose of my father and his Confederate friends. By good fortune none
were caught on my watch. A few months before the war's end, just past my
fourteenth birthday, I hid a woman and her husband. Emma and Tomas were kind
and newly married. The woman possessed a spirit that captivated me. We enjoyed
the evening meal together, dreaming of their new life in the North. As the sun
set, I prepared to leave them for the night.

“Unexpectedly my father's brother came upon us. He flew into
a rage and beat me mercilessly. With a pistol pointed at Tomas, the poor man
couldn't help me. I believed he would kill me and then kill the young couple.
Out of nowhere a wolf leapt on my uncle and killed him in front of me. Once
dead, she sat and looked at me calmly with blood on her chin. Despite my fear,
I stretched a hand out to her. In the blink of an eye, the wolf transformed
into Emma, naked as a new baby. She rushed to my side and cried over my bruised
face.

“I ran away with Emma and Tomas and never saw my home or
family again. I loved them like a sister and brother and we were family. Emma
taught me about Wolves and told me stories she'd heard of a pack that would
adopt runaway slaves. Tomas wanted to remain Human, but I admired her strength
and asked her to bite me. She agreed to prepare me for the transformation. In
time we found the rumored pack, and they accepted all three of us with open
arms. This pack lived isolated and as one people without regard to one's race.

“The Alpha was old and wise, a Wolf who led our Pack with
strength and spirit. Isingoma spoke often of his twin brother and a white
attorney, Wolves who worked to bring people together as equals in each other's
eyes. I listened to his stories and loved them long before I met them. Kato
visited his brother frequently over the years, and his tales of Richard's
contributions to civil rights enthralled me.

“For 150 years Richard and I have devoted our lives to
equality. For over sixty years we have stood together in it. We've watched the
world change, and we've contributed to its progress. His behavior towards Sadie
is pure bigotry fueled by blind rage. I love my mate too much to watch him
become what he hates. My first instinct is to protect my mate, just as yours
is. To protect him I must challenge his hypocrisy. If he kills Sadie, I will
have lost him. If he tries I will fight by your side and hope our matebond is
stronger than his anger.”

Billie sat speechless when Kathryn came to the end of her
story. Kato spoke with deep affection. “My brother's Kirabo is a Wolf of great
courage and wisdom.”

“I have not heard your brother's name for me in many
decades.” Kathryn's eyes glistened with nearly shed tears. “You are much like
him and bring back memories of my beloved.”

Abruptly, Billie's tied tongue loosened. “You and Kato's
brother were lovers?”

Kathryn nodded. “We were together for many years, and would
still be today if he lived. He was the most beautiful man I've ever known. When
he died a piece of my soul went with him.”

“He was your mate.” Billie spoke reverently of the man who
she knew little about except in legends.

“He was my first mate, though secretly. Interracial marriage
was not legalized until long after his death. Only our packmates and Kato knew
of our relationship.”

“Does Richard know?” Billie thought back to the earlier
argument.

“Yes. I did not keep that from him. I refused to marry him
until interracial marriage was legalized. I would not disrespect Sanyu nor
others in the same predicament by marrying because the man I loved had the
acceptable skin color.”

“Sanyu?” Billie questioned.

“Sanyu means joyful in Isingoma's native language. When we
found each other, he called himself Sanyu and named me his gift, Kirabo.”

“How beautiful.” Billie smiled. The light mood didn't last
as she directed the next question to both Wolves. “Richard believed that Kato
betrayed him by not telling him he's half Mage. I was surprised how angry he
was. Do you believe his anger is more about Kato or Isingoma?”

Kathryn darkened. “I believe much of his anger is directed
towards my first mate.” Something unspoken passed between Kathryn and Kato.

The Eldest nodded. “In his mind your relationship is now
tarnished. He trusts me no more, and memories of respect for my brother are
withering. There is no benefit to adding more at this time.” His next words
brought some encouragement. “The power of your matebond is greater than his
distrust. He may yet turn from this hypocrisy. Your courage makes it possible.”

“I'll do everything I can,” she promised her friends.
“Richard is one problem. Adversarial Mages are another. We were too busy
arguing earlier to address this.”

Billie spoke thoughtfully. “I wish I could ask Sadie for
help. I can't help feeling that they're here even if I haven't smelled them.”

“If I thought we could bring Sadie into this without risking
her life, I'd say do so,” Kathryn responded. “I trust your instincts, dear. If
you believe they're here, they certainly are. Kato, what do you sense?”

“I smell Mages on the wind. They are here. Our newest
packmate brings strength to the Pack, even though the Pack does not embrace
her.”

“What do you advise about the Mages?”

“You are prepared for the coming battle. You are bound in
spirit and joined in friendship. You have welcomed our newest packmate as one
of us, offered her friendship, and given her the trust she deserves. This is
the path to victory.” Kato stretched both hands towards the women in front of
him, and each grasped one in turn.

“We will protect our Pack,” Billie vowed.

Hello lovely,
Billie called to her mate
sweetly.

Well, hello.

Billie chuckled.
Longest Elder Meeting ever, I think.

You're in a better mood than last time, so I'm not going
to complain.
Sadie's relief was palpable. Between her girlfriend's reaction
after the last Elder Meeting and the conflict with Richard before this one,
she'd expected a very different state of mind.
Did everyone make it through
the meeting intact?

I did not kill Richard for threatening you, but it was a
close call,
Billie told her soberly.
Gods, I wanted to tear into him
after what he said to you. I would have if I thought it wouldn't make it worse.

Jason's order is holding him back. He wasn't going to
touch me this morning,
Sadie assured her.

You read him?
Billie asked, a little taken back.

He was practically yelling his thoughts at me. I couldn't
block him out,
she admitted.
I'm sorry.

Don't apologize, love. You are who you are, and we
shouldn't expect you to be anyone else.
Billie flashed back to the
conversation with Kato.
Kathryn's here with me. We'd like to take you out
this afternoon. Amy too if she's free. Want to run with us?

Yeah! I'd love that,
Sadie exclaimed at the
unexpected turn in her afternoon. She'd run with Billie, but no one else.

Come on over. Kathryn's calling Amy now.

I'll be right there.

Billie stood as Kathryn ended her call to Amy. She'd
followed Kathryn's conversation and didn't have to ask. Amy bubbled at the idea
of running with Sadie, and she wanted to invite a few others. “I'd hoped Kato
would join us. I want Sadie to meet him,” Billie mused.

“Kato, like his brother, has a keen sense of timing. They'll
meet when it's most advantageous.”

“You're probably right. Your mate was a lot like Kato?”

She smiled, her eyes luminous and sorrowful. “I see much of
Sanyu in him. They are more than just identical twins. They share their spirit.
Sanyu described themselves once as a single soul divided in half. Each half was
raised to wholeness. Together they were in perfect harmony and amplified into a
single being of unusual power. He always referred to Kato and himself as one
being not two. I thought I would die when Sanyu left this world. I cannot
imagine what that must have been for Kato.”

Billie shivered at the thought of losing her mate. “How did
he die?”

“Like Kato, Sanyu had visions of the future. If he believed
something should be changed and he had the power to do so, he acted. Sometimes
he left for weeks at a time as he altered the course of events. One day he rose
from meditation and sought me out. He told me he'd foreseen great suffering in
one of the cities and he must go to them. He made love to me and said goodbye.
Only later I realized he knew he would not return. Our Grandson, Kibuuka,
shared his vision and left with him. Of all my descendants, only Kibuuka chose
to be Wolf. He was much like his grandfather.

“They died in the Tulsa Race Riots on June 1, 1921. To this
day I do not know how they spent their final days nor how they lost their
lives.” A tear fell from Kathryn's cheek. “Kibuuka's wife left us shortly
after, taking their young daughter with her. I never heard from them again. The
child conceived during our last day together couldn't thrive in the misery. I
miscarried and have been unable to conceive since. No family should have to suffer
that much darkness in such a short space in time. The light in our family went
out for many years.”

Billie couldn't help the tears that sprung up in her eyes.
“Gods, Kathryn. I had no idea. I'm so sorry. Do you have any family left from
that time?”

She smiled, and the shadows faded to near extinction.
“Leroy, the silversmith you met in Idaho City, is my Great-Great-Great
Grandson. He is the only grandchild who knows who and what I am.”

Billie remembered the charming artist. “No wonder you don't
talk about that time in your life.”

“My grandchildren left home to start their own lives and
families. They needed to start over and shake the dust of Wolves from their
boots. Before long only my daughter, her Wolf husband, and I remained in the
pack. When she died, only emptiness remained for me there. I left to seek out
Sanyu's brother's Pack and found a new mate as well. My new life began here in
this Pack with Richard, and I am happy here. The sorrows of the other life will
only follow if I invite them.”

“Thank you for telling me. I'm dumbstruck that you were part
of the Underground Railroad. You're one of my heroes.” Billie beamed at her
friend, who lowered her eyes in uncharacteristic embarrassment.

“I would appreciate your discretion with the others. I do
not want a barrage of questions. Too many secrets are being kept from your mate
already, so tell Sadie my story if you wish.”

“I won't repeat it to anyone except Sadie. She’ll love it.
Kato said something. ‘There is no benefit to adding more at this time.’ What
did he mean?”

A weight seemed to descend on Kathryn and she shook her
head. “Kato is right. I will tell you in time, but not today.”

Billie accepted her answer but remained curious. “I'm going
to change out of this suit before the others get here.” She cocked her head
slightly. “Sadie's almost here.”

“You always sense where and how she is, don't you?” Kathryn
enquired.

“Most of the time. She withdraws into herself at times, and
then I can't sense her. She's doing it more lately. I don't think she's doing as
well as she pretends. I'm concerned about her.”

“She's strong, darling. And she has you.” Billie nodded,
still concerned.

* * *

I wasted no time returning to Billie's home,
changing into hiking clothes and grabbing a canteen on my way out. I'd only seen
Billie and Kato's wolf forms, and the idea of being surrounded by wolves
thrilled me. I nearly exploded with excitement at the invitation to run.

Kathryn greeted me with her usual warm affection as I
trotted through Billie's front door. “Good morning again, my dear. I give no
apology for my husband's behavior earlier. His actions are his own and not
mine. I am, however, sorry you are being ill-treated. Billie's changing out of
her suit. She'll be right down.”

I laughed at her words, and she cocked her head in question.
I tried to explain my amusement. “I love the way you look at things, Kathryn. I
used to think I'd seen it all when it comes to people, and I've never met
anyone like you before.”

She smiled, and we moved to the kitchen to gather supplies.
“Time changes our perception of the world, and I've had a great deal of time in
this life.”

“How much time?” I asked, imagining the delight on Amy's
face if I could find that particular answer for her.

“Many more years than Amy has yet guessed,” she answered
conspiratorially, “I enjoy her persistence and would like it to continue.”

“Intriguing. What if I promise to torment her instead of
telling her?” I offered.

“That would also be enjoyable.” Kathryn smiled. “In December
I will celebrate my 163rd birthday.”

I whistled. “Wow! I don't think I can wrap my brain around
that.”

“Wait 'til you hear the rest of the story.” Billie's sinewy
form came into view, wearing simple jeans and a T-shirt. She crossed the room
and enveloped me in a hug. “I'll tell you later. I hear Jazz's car.”

In moments a tall dark-haired woman walked in the door. She
appeared no older than me, and of course she felt much older. Despite her plain
haircut and lack of effort towards her appearance, she was beautiful. She had a
friendly but no nonsense air about her and seemed vaguely familiar. “You must
be Sadie. I'm Jazlene, but everyone calls me Jazz.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” I took her extended hand.

“Gary's at work, of course, or he would have joined us.”

“Gary...”

“My husband. He asked about you. He would have visited, but
his sister is having a difficult time right now, and he's had his hands full.”

The familiarity clicked, and I gasped. “Gary from my crew at
the warehouse is your husband. Billie mentioned a connection, but she didn't
say who he was. Tell him I said hi.”

“I will. He's been complaining about your replacement. Can I
tell him when you'll be back to work?”

“Soon, I think.” I thought about it and realized I felt
ready. “One more day off, and I'll be ready to jump back into it.”

“Your face is still bruised. How will you explain that?” I
bit my lower lip and cringed that I’d forgotten to hide them before leaving the
house. I projected an image of my face without the bruises. “How do you do
this?” She came closer and inspected my face on every side.

“It's like creating a mirror of what I want people to see
instead of what's actually there,” I explained badly.

She laughed. “I'll take your word for it. You can keep this
going all day?”

“I held it for five years as a teenager hiding my zits.”

Just then Amy opened the front door and woohoo'd her arrival
with John on her arm. “Hiya Jazz!” She threw an arm around her tall friend.
“Sadie, this is John. Oh, wow! You healed up quick. How’d you manage that?” Jazz
covered her mouth with her hand. “What's funny?”

I removed the projected image, and when Amy looked from Jazz
back to me she gasped. “Holy Mage-moly!” The previously unmarred face was
covered in deep bruises well into the healing process. “Do it again!” She
sounded like a five-year-old at the circus.

I obliged, transforming my face into the bruise-less version
so she could inspect it just like Jazz. Enjoying myself, I added a parrot to my
shoulder just as she came in for a closer look. She yelped and jumped backwards
into a comical fighting stance. The room burst with laughter.

Amy laughed too, then sobered. “Did any of you know Mages
can do that? 'Cause I sure didn't.”

Kathryn spoke. “I have heard Mages can spin illusions, but I
have never seen it.”

John spoke up for the first time, his tone even and careful.
He controlled his fear of me, but I could feel it. “You wouldn't know if you
did.”

“Do you smell the parrot?” I asked him, knowing the answer.

Amy's nose twitched while the others sniffed without
appearing to. “No.”

“The mirror only works well with vision. Audio works but not
completely.” I hesitated to say the next part. “I can't mimic smells without
meddling in your brain. I don’t know why. I explored this ability when I was a
teenager.”

John involuntarily leaned away from me. Jazz exhibited
cautious curiosity. “This isn't affecting our minds?”

I shook my head. “No. It's more like an echo. I'm not
changing what you're thinking at all.”

Billie expounded. “I have a theory. When we sense a Mage
we're sensing their coercive power not the race. That's why Sadie feels like a
Sensitive most of the time. If we aren't sensing Mage, she's not changing our
thoughts.”

 “Your theory may be right,” I nodded but added soberly.
“But I don't think it’s that simple. I could make you forget sensing Mage if I
wanted.”

Jazz raised her eyebrows. “She's honest.”

“You deserve to know,” I admitted uncomfortably. “I don't do
that kind of thing.”

Amy jumped into the conversation. “There's got to be a way
we can protect ourselves. Sadie is our key to figuring it out! She can help us
train against Invading Mages so that none of us ever lose a packmate to them
again.”

“Gladly.” I smiled, thinking about Nathan and holding the
thought tight behind my barriers.

 Jazz cocked her head in a manner I was starting to
recognize as wolfishly curious. “You're okay with helping us fight against your
people?”

“I've always been curious about my biological family, but
I've never met them. I've never even talked to a Mage. Billie is my family, and
anyone important to her is important to me.” My voice hardened. “Besides, we
don't know that all Mages collar wolves. Maybe only some do and others choose
not to use it. Anyone who's willing to do that is not someone I want to be
related to. I like being able to read people, but I wish I couldn't control
them. I can't get rid of it, but I can choose not to use it.” I hadn’t meant it
to come out harshly, but I hadn’t had a chance to vent about Nathan.

John and Jazz were stunned at my response. “Amy was right
about you.”

“Of course I'm right. I'm always right! Just ask anyone
who's ever called me arrogant.” She turned her nose up in mock conceit.

With a lighter mood, we gathered supplies and piled into
Jazz's SUV. She asked where to, and Kathryn suggested Cottonwood Creek. Billie
glanced sideways. “I know we were just there, but it is close and yet away from
Humans. We'll have a good run and be home by evening. I am expected at the
dance studio tomorrow.”

I sat in the front seat and took the opportunity to talk to
Jazz. “When I told Gary about my date with Billie, did he know who I was
talking about?”

“He suspected. How many redheaded lesbian accountants could
there be among Boise’s law firms? He asked me that night, so I texted Billie
and confirmed it.” Her eyes sparkled conspiratorially.

I shook my head. “I had no idea. Gary is my favorite
coworker, but we’ve never really talked. Do the two of you have kids?” I asked
her.

“We have two kids: a fourteen-year-old boy and a
twelve-year-old girl.”

“Well, I'm going to give him a hard time when I get back to
work,” I decided.

She took her eyes off the road briefly to meet mine. “He
thinks highly of you.” I understood I had Gary to thank for Jazz's willingness
to meet me.

 “We should have you guys over for dinner,” I offered.

“He'd like that.” She smiled. “We both would.”