Psyche Honor (Psyche Moon) (11 page)

Fear rose within me, but not for the same reason as in her.
“Got it.” We continued walking, to my relief. “I know that word from somewhere.
Kratos?”

“It's Greek for power.” She didn't like talking about it, so
I didn't ask more.

I changed the subject, searching for more useful
information. “What's the deal between Mages and Wolves?” I asked. “Why are they
so scared of us?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Wolves are incapable of
grasping our superior minds. It scares them. So they growl and attack like the
beasts that they are. Wolves are just an infection in the human race. A
regression to their primitive form. They're little better than dogs, but their
strength and speed is useful. They make great bodyguards.”

“I would imagine so.” I acted impressed.

“Your redhead has quite the reputation as a fighter. She'll
be a good asset when she's fully claimed.”

“She's already becoming more protective. She growls more
these days.” The joke pleased the offensive woman and lightened her mood as
intended.

“What are your plans for this pack?” she asked abruptly,
hitting the topic she’d planned on starting with. She’d come to size up the
competition.

 “I don't have any particular plans for the pack. I just
want Billie. What about you?”

“I like to play my cards close to my chest,” she winked.

“I can accept that if it doesn't include stealing my Wolf.” By
playing the possessive owner, I could keep her manicured talons away from
Billie. It might also give her a reason to need me.

“The redhead is yours. We won't take her from you. We may
ask to use her, though.”

“Use her for what?” I asked curiously.

“She's the Beta. Once she's claimed, you'll have access to
anything we want to know about her pack. She's strong enough to protect us from
the others. Plus one of our group hasn’t committed to joining us, and a
beautiful Wolf would convince him.”

My eyes hardened, and I tensed. “Sexual favors are off
limits. The rest is negotiable.”

She laughed as if I'd said something childish and amusing.
“Oh, sexual favors are always negotiable. When you see something you want badly
enough, you'll trade.” Her absolute confidence in my greed spoke volumes about
her character.

“Don't count on it,” I grumbled.

She laughed even harder. “Let's see how far you've come
without proper training. Show me something you can do. I want to see what
you're made of.” She sounded like an annoying aunt asking a five-year-old to
count to ten.

“Like what?” I didn't want to show this woman anything. If
my suspicions about Kratos was true, I couldn't let her know the scope of my
power.

“Whatever you want. Your choice.”

I hesitated, thinking what I could do without giving myself
away or hurting anyone. She'd mentioned illusion as an outer strata power, so
that should be safe. Dropping my recent illusion, I let her see the healing
bruises on my face and arms.

She startled at the abrupt transformation, the first honest
reaction I'd received from her. “Dear God, what happened to you?” Interestingly,
she lost her southern accent in her surprise.

I gave her a partial truth and let her hear the edge in my
voice. “A couple of guys beat me up. That was the night I found out what I am
and discovered that werewolves are more than a fairy tale.”

“You said you saved her life.”

“I did. She was injured before I stopped them.”

“How did you stop them?” She eagerly wanted to know, so I
desperately didn’t want to tell her.

I shook my head as if unable to put words to it, giving
myself time to formulate an answer. “I just made them stop. I didn't know I
could, or I would have done it before they did this to me.” I pointed at my
face defensively. “Then suddenly people are calling me a Mage, turning into
wolves, and threatening my life. The Alpha was grateful that I saved Billie, so
I'm under his protection. The others can't touch me.” I paused. “Unless I'm
caught claiming Billie.”

“Don't get caught,” she advised gravely, her southern accent
returning.

“I don't plan on it.”

“You're playing a dangerous game, child,” she warned. “Even
if you have the power, you don't have the experience to control a Wolf. If they
turn on you, you won’t be able to protect yourself.”

Showing genuine confidence, I replied. “Billie will protect
me. She's devoted to me already. She's already talking about leaving with me if
the situation implodes.”

That satisfied her. “It won't be long before she's fully
claimed by the sound of it.”

“Will the other Wolves know when she's fully claimed?” I
asked.

“They don't know about Nathan, do they?”

“No, but they didn't know him before. Will they notice the
change?”

“Not if you leave her outer strata intact,” Cassandra
cautioned.

I nodded. “Thanks for the advice.”

“Will you do something for me in turn?”

“What do you want?”

“Tell me if they figure out my Wolf is claimed. I've put a
lot of work into that one. I don't want to lose him.” I thought about the Pup’s
tangled mind caught in agony. She’d worked him over, for sure.

“I will, and I can do more. My pet is the main one
evaluating him. I can keep her from figuring it out.”

“See, she's already useful,” Cassandra beamed. Her plans
were unfolding nicely, or so she thought. I didn't correct her.

“Let me give you my phone number so you can contact me,” I
offered.

“You don't know how to mindspeak?” Her haughty tone mocked
me yet again.

Exasperated at her, I snapped a little. “Do you want the
Wolves finding out about you? Because touching my mind in any way when they're
around could get me killed and you discovered.”

“They don't know when I'm in my pet's mind,” she argued.

“That must be different. Sometimes they sense us and
sometimes they don’t. I don’t understand it all yet, but I'm pretty sure they'd
know instantly if we mindspeak. It's not worth the risk.” In her arrogance she
didn't believe me. “How much time have you spent in a pack of Wolves?” I
challenged. “Trust me on this one. Don't contact me mentally.”

“They won't know,” she insisted stubbornly.

Putting my hands on my hips, I didn't let it go. “If they
figure out that we're talking, I will tell them you've claimed Nathan. I will
give them your Wolf to save my life. Are you willing to risk him? Hell, I’ll
give them you if that’s what it takes to stay alive.” She didn't answer immediately,
calculating my threat. “Use the phone and ask for someone else when you call.
If I say you have the wrong number, hang up. It means they're listening.”

“Okay. Perhaps you'll have something to teach us about
Wolves before this is over.” To my astonishment, she meant it.

I forced myself to calm down. The idea of her in my head had
given me the willies. “I take it this doesn't happen very often? A Mage living
with the Wolves?”

“I doubt it’s ever happened. Normally they just kill us.”

“I'm going to avoid that part. It's getting way too
complicated for my comfort. Once she's mine, I'm out of here.”

She nodded. “Call me if you run into any problems. We'll
help get you out.” She wanted me in debt to her.

I lied. “I will.”

We'd circled around the trail and arrived where we began.
Pulling a key out of her purse, she sauntered to a slick silver rental car.

I watched her drive away and held myself in check. My
control began to slip as soon as she left sight and sense. My hands shook, and
my knees nearly buckled beneath me. Quickly I threw a wall up, and just in
time. Billie felt my panic but couldn't tell what caused it. She assumed the
worst and nearly bolted out of her office.
What's wrong?! Who is it?

No. I'm okay. Really I am. I just had a flashback or something.
I hated deceiving her, and it shamed me how easily I lied to her.

Gods, you scared me. I thought you were being attacked.
That must have been one hell of a flashback.
She began to calm, and we no
longer risked a wolf sighting among Boise residents.

It was. I used to have them a lot. This is the first one
in a long time.
Partially true, I had experienced flashbacks in the past.

Do you want me to come home?
she offered, eagerly
wanting to be with me after her fright.

No. I’m okay. I really am. I promise.

Okay. If you change your mind, just say so. I'll come
home.

Her concern touched me, renewing my guilt. I changed the
subject.
How's it going with Richard?

He's being an ass to everyone, and the staff is about
ready to walk. I've been playing peacekeeper.

Not what you were expecting out of your day.
The
situation diverted my thoughts nicely.

No. He owes me big for this one.

Well, no need to aggravate it further with my presence. I
feel better already.
Her mind in mine had calmed me, but not nearly as much
as I projected.

I love you. See you tonight.

I love you too.
I smiled at the thought of holding
her later.

The mental contact ended, and I began to shake again. Any
breakdown would happen privately, I resolved. The trailhead led into a network
of paths, some leading deeper into the foothills than the one I'd walked with
Cassandra. Choosing one at random, I ran. The trail twisted away from the city,
uphill along a tiny stream. Small trees grew along the banks, and I found a
sheltered thicket off the path. Sitting on a log by the trickling water, I
fortified my mental barriers and let myself cry.

My entire body shook with sobs, and I wrapped my arms
protectively around myself. Rocking back and forth, tears ran unchecked down my
cheeks. I could only hope that no one would discover me. I'd placed myself
inside of a tight mental box, separate from Billie and away from any Mage's
ability to penetrate. I didn't know if I had enough left in me to deal with
someone in person.

Something wet touched my hand, and I jumped. I hadn't felt
anyone approach. Through tear-clouded vision, I saw Kato's leggy form in front
of me. Compassionate eyes looked into mine, and I enveloped him in a desperate
hug. Curling into me, he offered what comfort he could. My tears wetted his fur,
and he let me cling to him and babble without complaint. “I met a Mage. She was
horrible. The first time I meet one of my people, and she's a monster. She
called Nathan her pet. She called Wolves primitive creatures and beasts. I
pretended to be like her. I called Billie my pet. I feel like something slimy
has crawled inside of me, and I can't get it out.”

You do what you must to protect your mate and pack. There
is no shame in your actions.

I disagreed. “I'm betraying them. I'm lying to them. I don't
know if I can keep doing it. I feel more alone these last few days than ever
before. I'm surrounded by people that I love. For the first time in my life, I
can be myself, and I'm lying to all of them. I hate it.”

Honor must be kept in spirit while broken in action.
He
reiterated what he'd told me the first time we met. Even then he'd known
deceiving Billie would be the most difficult part of my task.

“So much is happening to me, Kato. My world is turning
upside down and inside out. I need her, and I can't tell her what's going on.”

You are stronger than you know.
Lowering myself to
the ground, he curled heavily across my legs. I leaned my back against the log
and curled my hands in the thick fur of his neck, much like I did with Billie.

“You said before that I'm powerful even for a Mage. I asked
her about Mage powers. Have you ever heard of Kratos?”

Kratos are the most powerful of all Mages, one with the
ability to control another Mage. Very few are born into each generation.

“
Are they bad?”

You are as you choose to be.

Kathryn’s words echoed in my mind. “I'm Kratos, aren't I?” The
question came as a whisper, and I knew the answer.

Yes.

“
I don't want this. I just want a normal life with
Billie. I don't want this kind of power. It scares me, Kato.”

The power is a part of you. It is neither good nor bad.
You have chosen respect for others. You do not take their choice and freedom,
even at your own inconvenience or expense.

“
I have used it, Kato. I am not as innocent as you
think.”

He raised his head and looked directly in my eyes.
I was
raised Sage from infancy, reared by a wise and kind man who taught my brother
and I to use our abilities to benefit others. Like any being, I have not lived
a blameless life. I have lived the best life I know how, doing much good in this
world. I have been blessed many times over. Instead of guidance, you have
received scorn and fear. And unlike mine, your power comes with the chance of
becoming lost to yourself. Still you choose compassion and discretion. You have
experienced too much to call innocent. You are wise even in your youth.

“
I don't feel wise. I want to believe I'm doing the
right thing, but none of this feels right.”

A lie feels foul to the wise, even when it's necessary.
Your actions are more right than you can know. Daughter, you are a blessing to
this world. You will change the course of destiny for Mages and Wolves. Know
your strength. Accept your power.

“
I don't understand. How will I change destiny for
Mages and Wolves? How is that even possible?” The shock of his statement slowed
my tears.

In time I will tell you everything. For now, know this
and find comfort in it. Your parents were not like the one you met today. Mages
are as they choose to be, and as creatures of choice some choose better than
others. You carry your father's spirit and your mother's love. They cherished
you and would be proud of the woman before me.