Racing Outside the Line: A Love Story at 190 Mph (21 page)

"If you don’t get off my property in the next thirty seconds, I’ll call the police and
they
can remove you. Seeing as how you have already had two fantastic scandals in two days, I would think that you would want to avoid a third."

"Please, let me talk to her." He was begging, really begging. I leaned against the wall placing my cheek against its cool surface. "Please, just let me talk to her."

"I’m sorry, Seth, that’s her decision and right now, she doesn’t want to talk to you." I heard Chelsea close the door on him as I slid myself down to the floor burying my face in my hands. The sound of his voice and the sound of him begging to see me had more of an effect on me than I wanted it to. I swear I had internal bleeding going on.

Chelsea came around the corner and asked quickly, "Do you want me to go bring him back?"

I shook my head and she dropped herself to the floor throwing an arm around me in comfort.

I spent most of that day on the patio soaking up the sunshine in the mildly warm weather. It was much different from North Carolina. You could enjoy being outside without being eaten by bugs or dripping in sweat. The very little humidity and warm sun didn’t beat down on you—it just warmed your skin a bit. It was also deeply soothing to swing back and forth, staring at nothing in particular. I tried to wrap my mind around Seth’s appearance earlier and just couldn’t think about it without reducing myself to weepy tears, so I stopped letting it enter in to my mind.

When it started to get dark, there was another knock on the door. Chelsea looked over at me from a patio chair where she was typing away on her laptop and said, "It’s just Desmond. To tell you the truth, I’m glad he’s here, I need reinforcements. I can’t fend Seth off by myself."

I looked away from her, not sure whether I was happy or sad or mad that this was necessary. Finally, I got up and went to the door. I took a page from Chelsea’s book and put the chain on the door before opening it. Desmond looked down, focusing on me. His face betrayed the pity he felt for me, which only assisted in making me angrier. "Not one word about him, not one single word, do you hear me?"

His expression immediately shifted to stone, I hated that he could always hide his emotions when he wanted to. Why did that gene skip me? He nodded, crossed his heart with his fingers and stood there silently as I undid the chain and let him in. Not turning to look at him or say anything, I just walked back out onto the patio and flopped back down on my swing.

Chelsea stood up smiling at him warmly, "You probably don’t remember meeting me what with my other sisters hanging on your every move, but I’m Chelsea, welcome to my home."

"Of course, I remember meeting you—I never forget a beautiful face."

I rolled my eyes. "Hello," I said sarcastically waving my arm up to be noticed, "still nauseous over here, don’t make it worse." Then I buried my head in the pillow I had been carting around with me the past two days.

Desmond turned to me and squatted down closer to my head. He brushed my hair out of my face, "I’m sorry, Lex, can I get you anything, honey?"

Before I could answer, Chelsea grabbed him firmly by the arm and pulled him just inside the patio door. I heard Desmond say, "Oww, ease up there."

"You agreed that if I let you come, you’d do it my way, and you’re gonna stick to that or I’ll kick your butt off my property like I kicked his!"

Desmond seemed to stand in the doorway unsure of what to do. Finally, he walked over to the swing I was sprawled out on, picked up my feet and sat down placing my feet on his lap. We used to sit like this when we were kids, so it was a comfortable feeling. Sarcastically, I said, "Just one big happy family." Desmond patted my legs and looked pityingly at me until Chelsea cleared her throat loudly forcing him to look off in the other direction trying to suppress a smile. Great! Now I was going to be stuck with these two: Desmond trying to hover over me and Chelsea trying to stop him, as if I needed this.

In keeping with the current tradition, I was awakened the next morning by more angry voices at the door. Uncharacteristically, Chelsea was yelling quite loudly.

"I don’t care if you decide to park your dumbass on my porch for an eternity, I’m not letting you talk to her until she chooses to talk to you, so get the hell off my porch!" I had never heard her talk like that to anyone, which made me really wonder what I had already missed.

"No! Desmond, it’s fine! I’m handling this."

"You have ten seconds to get off my property before I let Desmond kick your ass again!"

I heard the front door slam and buried myself under the blankets. This was a nightmare that was clearly not going away. Was that because he really wanted me? Was it because Desmond had left his side as public relations guy? Once again, if he really gave a crap about me, why was he kissing Alexandria? The image hit me again, and I burrowed underneath my pillow trying to hide from the light of day. I succeeded until lunchtime when Desmond came in to talk to me.

"Hey, it’s noon, you thinking about getting up anytime soon?"

My response was to cover my head with my pillow.

"Chelsea said if you aren’t out of bed in an hour she’s going to drag you into the bathroom and throw you into a cold shower." I groaned. Why did everyone have to be so interested in m welfare?

Pulling the pillow from my face, I stared at Desmond for a few moments. Unable to stop myself, I blurted out the question, "Why’d you attack him on camera?"

"Chelsea mentioned you saw that," he sounded remorseful and stared at the floor. "You didn’t see the look on your face, Lex. God, you looked worse than when dad died. I knew what was happening then. I was so mad at him and at myself for not knowing about it. I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve been paying attention to you instead of my own anger. I’m sorry, Lex"

"It’s okay, I’m sorry for keeping it from you." Trying to lighten the mood I added, "Well, at least he’s getting some bad publicity out of this."

"He’s getting more than that," he chuckled, but there was no real humor in his voice. "They black flagged him today for aggressive driving. He and Jake were smashing into each other left and right, they finally threw him out of the race."

"Good," I said, but I didn’t feel good. He was upset and angry, but why? Could he be upset that he hurt me? No, he was probably upset at the negative publicity this all led to. Probably upset that he had even hooked up with me to begin with.

Desmond drew me out of my thoughts again, "Sis, I love you, but you smell, get your butt up, and take a shower."

Emerging from my room, I found Desmond and Chelsea sitting on opposite couches typing away on their laptops. Was I the only one not involved in the laptop obsession? I flopped down on the couch next to Chelsea and leaned against her shoulder.

She closed her laptop and looked over at me, "Wow, dressed and everything, it’s a Christmas miracle." I rolled my eyes in response. "Let’s get out of the house, go do something today… not be mopey bumps on a log." I rolled my eyes again (standard response for me really). "We should take poor Desmond there to the beach. I bet he’s never seen the Pacific Ocean."

I grumbled, "It’s not like we need to entertain him, he isn’t some estranged relative visiting for the weekend."

"I know you’d rather sit around the house and stare at walls all day, but you need to branch out, stare at cars, or stare at the sky, or even better, the beach. Come on Lex, it’s time to move to the next step."

As much as I hated to admit it, she had a point. If I were going to get any semblance of a life back anytime soon, I should start making an effort to at least appear normal. "Fine, but I’m not going to enjoy it."

"We’ve already had one miracle; no one said we’d push for two."

Desmond and Chelsea chuckled, and I crossed my arms in front of my chest and worked on a really good pouty face.

Walking back to my room to get my flip-flops, the doorbell rang, and I froze. It was Seth. I knew it was him. My eyes were still fixed on Desmond’s face as he came closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders, "I’ll take care of this."

I could see the anger in his face making me worry that he would hurt Seth. I don’t know why it mattered, he still deserved it, but I still found myself calling out, "Don’t hurt him." I had only been around the corner from the front door, so my yelling must have been loud enough for Seth to hear.

"Lexie, Lex, please talk to me, Lexie," he yelled through the door. I winced at every word until I was back to clutching my chest. "Lexie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry," he continued yelling. Leaning against the wall for support, I heard Chelsea put the chain on the door again. "Lexie, I love you, please just let me talk to you for one minute."

"Stop yelling right now!" commanded Chelsea in her stern voice. One thing was for sure, when Chelsea was angry, you knew it, and you seriously did
not
want to mess with her. "Are you a complete jackass? You think yelling through my door will make things better for you? Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a clue how to handle situations, that much is obvious from your on-camera stunts. Nice break-up with what’s her name."

"She saw that?" he asked before launching into screams again, "Lexie, I told you I don’t want her, I want you."

"Yeah, well," Chelsea interrupted, "I want to be an Olympic figure skater, doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. You fucked up, and she’s not ready to speak to you about it yet, so get the hell…" Chelsea’s voice stopped abruptly and I had no idea why.

I waited to hear her finish her sentence or to hear Seth say something else or even Desmond, but there was only complete and total silence. Finally, I heard Desmond exclaim, "Ah, hell!" then I saw him stomp off toward the back door.

Using the wall as my support, I inched myself closer to the edge of the hallway so that I could hear what was going on. What on earth had Seth done to get Chelsea to end her tirade at him? It was completely silent, so I wasn’t given any clues. I sure as hell did not want to see him, but I had counted on a loud angry exchange to signal that he had given up and left. This silence was frightening. Chelsea wouldn’t let him in, would she? No, she wouldn’t, so what on earth was going on?

Finally, I heard Chelsea quietly and very solemnly ask, "Are you serious?"

"I already," I could only make out a few words because he was talking too softly… "booked… ready… you and her… yes." What was he saying? What could he possibly say or do that would make any difference at this point? Unable to stand hearing anything else, I dragged myself to my room. I heard the door close a few minutes later, but continued to sit quietly on the edge of my bed. He had kissed her. If he were intent to keep me, why would he kiss her like that? He couldn’t have any clue how much pain he put me through and continued to put me through. He couldn’t possibly know how much it killed me to think of him.

I tracked Desmond’s location by the thunderous footsteps through the hall, then into my room and up to me on the edge of the bed. I looked up at Desmond’s face and he looked down at me with his head tilted and sympathy in his eye. I didn’t want to see it. I looked away, toward the wall.

"Honey," Chelsea stood quietly and calmly at the door to my bedroom. "Neither one of us are going to say anything because we don’t want to sway you one way or the other." I could hear the harsh, warning tone and could tell that she was making that statement as a form of instructing Desmond. "I want you to just think about this on your own terms before you ask
either
of us for our opinion."

Desmond stepped back heavily. Too drained to look up at her, I focused on the floor vent. It was a pretty gold design that stood out nicely against the maple hardwood floor. I heard Chelsea walking toward me. Not far from the floor vent was a soft and furry shag carpet that I loved to feel my bare toes on. "Give me your hand," she instructed as I continued to examine the floor. I’d dropped a piece of paper, a receipt or something on the carpet and hadn’t picked it up in my cleaning fit.

I put out my hand and could feel her place a small velvet box in it. Not needing an explanation, everything made sudden, blinding, and gut-wrenching sense. I doubled over, clutching my stomach with one hand and holding the box in my other hand while I cried and cried. Chelsea kneeled down on the floor in front of me. I could barely hear Desmond say in a strained voice, "I can’t watch this again," before his angry footsteps left my room.

She put her hands on my knees and tried to calm me down. "Lex, come on now, I know you’re hurting, and I wish I could make that stop, but you’ve got to calm down." I felt as if I were falling apart or being torn apart from the inside. I tried to listen to Chelsea’s calm voice because I couldn’t stand my own screaming inside my head. "Come on, Lex, take a deep breath. Calm down, breathe." I did my best to do what she said. "Shhh… It doesn’t matter what happens, you’re going to be just fine. Don’t you see, this is your decision this time. It’s never been your decision before, hun. It’s all up to
you
this time."

After a few moments of processing, I started to think she was right. His decision to leave without a word after prom night was
his
decision; he had never even spoken to me about it. His decision to kiss her was all him. I moved my fingers against the velvet box. This was my decision, I was in control now. "That’s it… deep breaths." She reached for the box of tissue from the nightstand and held it out to me. I took a few of them and wiped at my eyes. I couldn’t stop the hiccoughs, but I had the tears under control now.