Reaching Out to the Stars (12 page)
Michael Johns
Carly Smithson
David Cook
Chapter 11
In the Hands of Ellen
I began to accept the fact that I may never get answers to my mystery questions. Then I thought, if I want answers and hope for a possible response, someone who may be able to help me, who better to ask than Ellen DeGeneres? And so, it went.
Dear Ellen
,
I am writing to you to propose a great idea for your show and also in hopes of receiving an answer to a question that has been weighing on my mind for quite some time
.
Living life as a celebrity, do you ever wish you could go back to being a regular person with a regular life? Is being a celebrity as glamorous as it’s made out to be?
You are probably wondering why I am searching for an answer to this question. The truth is, we all grow up having this “dream” of either meeting our favorite celebrity or being one. I have always questioned if we are all setting ourselves up for disappointment and if this so called “dream” is really the type of life we want to live
.
Since the fifth grade, I have always had the dream of being a recording artist. My brother played the guitar and I sang. Come high school, we let go of the dream and focused on college and a career that was more promising. I chose a future in guidance counseling hoping to make a difference in children’s lives
.
I began watching American Idol at the beginning of season two. Watching the show always brought the dream back alive again
.
Sometimes I thought that watching the show was a safe way of living the dream through someone else living the dream that I was always afraid to follow. I found myself being a devoted fan of runner up, Clay Aiken. He inspired me to write my first fan letter ever at the age of twenty-eight, followed by two more letters. As it may sound silly, I became very discouraged when I never received a response. I guess every fan wants to believe that the right words through a letter will somehow reach the unreachable
.
In 2004, after having my first child and deciding to be a stay at home mom, I used my spare time watching your show and focusing on unanswered questions revolving around celebrities and their fans. I started putting my thoughts, feelings and questions into a book I had titled, “Reaching Out To The Stars—The Insight Of A Devoted Fan And The Search For Reason.” I wanted to express my feelings on this topic of living on the other side of the Hollywood splendor, perceptions of stardom and being a devoted fan. I ended up shelving it two years ago, unfinished
.
This past year I recorded a CD with my brother in his small condo. I like to think of it as a personal accomplishment and have comfortably reserved my dream as a much enjoyed hobby
.
As I continued to tune into American Idol, seasons three through six, I have not been enthusiastic about it until this past season, seven. Season seven left me with an overwhelming feeling of excitement somewhat brought on by great talents and an embarrassing crush on Jason Castro. Because of my past experience, I decided NOT to write him any fan letters
.
I am excited to hear from you in regard to my questions and although I have given up on the dream of being a celebrity for many different reasons and have been discouraged of the possibility of ever really getting to know my idol favorites, I had hope that you could bring these dreams alive for other hopeful fans on your show. It would be great to present true fans with the opportunity of meeting their favorite celebrities. After all…where would celebrities be if it weren’t for us fans?
I thought this may be my final attempt and my last shot at getting my questions answered and possibly a dream or two to come true. Then I thought, I may not ever have the life of a celebrity, I may not even want the life of a celebrity, but it is never too late to possibly meet one.
I have always been curious and unsure about the ups and downs of stardom and have always wondered about if I were ever offered the chance to be there if I would take it or not. It was like I needed that one on one chat with a star to get the answers for the closure I needed to make sure that I had no regrets in life.
As I am almost positive that I have made all the right choices, I will always hope and dream of meeting a celebrity, and not just any celebrity, but one that I am a great fan of.
I then started to think about what it might be like to be on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, sitting with and meeting Ellen, Clay and Jason.
There I was, sitting in the opposite chair of Ellen. I was surprised as she introduced first Clay and then Jason to the stage. I was living any fan’s fantasy. This was great because I realized that any time I wanted to add a little excitement to my life, I could come and hang out with my two favorite celebs. As they talked to me, they explained that even though celebrity status was great they wished that every now and then they could take a step back and enjoy life as it used to be. I told Clay that he could come over to the house with his significant other and the kids could play together.
As for Jason, I will be taking him to the beach. This is because when he was on the show American Idol he said that he liked the beach and wished he could spend more time there. That is one thing that we do have in common. I also love the beach, but what happens on the beach stays on the beach. Then, I woke up.
Even though it may be, again, a far-fetched idea, I started to see things a little more clearly and I realized that it really would be a dream come true. This is because I would be fulfilling something I had always wanted in my life, to keep the life that I had now but to be sitting in an atmosphere surrounded by three people who have all had a great influence on my life. Not just any three people but one who made me want to revisit a time in my life and to be something that I am not necessarily cut out for leading. Another, who made me realize that I am happy with what I have but still find time to accomplish what I dream of at my own pace along with excitement and fantasy. Lastly, one who could make all my dreams come true, who I let into my home every day because nowadays, it is extremely necessary to have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at the simplest of things. What would life be without laughter?
Although this is another dream that will probably never come true, writing my letter to Ellen started me thinking again and inspired me to finish writing my book. Sometimes, on the way to a dream you get lost and find a better one.
Chapter 12
October People
As I was driving down Malden Street for a ride in the car with the kids, I decided to try to get back in touch with the roots where it all began. I miraculously ejected my Jason Castro CD and decided to listen to my Clay Aiken Measure of a Man CD. Listening, I began to smile as it quickly took me back in time to a place where I used to be. I knew that even though the obsession was not what it used to be, I would always have a “thing” for Clay Aiken.
As I seemed to be in a world of my own, my cell phone began to ring. It was Bryce. As we said our good mornings, he said in a sarcastic tone, “What are you listening to?”
I asked him why, at first assuming he was busting on me because I was not listening to my Jason CD, a very rare occurrence.
He said, “No really, what are you listening to?”
I said, “Clay…why?”
Then he said, “Did you hear?”
I asked, “Hear what?”
He responded, “Clay came out.”
I responded, “Oh, okay whatever, really funny.”
I really thought that he was teasing me because this was not the first time that he joked about Clay being gay. Then he said, “No really, it’s all over the radio and he is going to be on the October issue of People magazine. He said that he didn’t want to raise his son thinking that he had to lie or hide things.” He then had my attention.
As I cannot explain how I was feeling in my complete moment of silence it was as if someone had just told me that dreams and fantasies could no longer exist.
I finally said, “Are you serious?”
He was actually sincere when he said, “Yeah, Sweetie. I wanted to tell you before you heard because I knew you were going to be crushed.” I then said, “No, not really. I think I’m actually fine with it because I guess I always knew that it was a possibility.”
As we said our goodbyes I continued to drive with a blank stare. My eyes filled up with tears and I quickly got myself together and called my mom who is also a fan. She, too, had already heard the news.