Reckless Radiance (16 page)

Valerie jumped back and clutched her hand to her chest. Russell’s head hung in defeat. “I suppose it will take more than one try,” he said with a half-hearted chuckle.

“However long it takes,” she replied.

Russell stood up and they stared at each other for a moment. He raised his hand to her face and let his palm hover next to her cheek without touching her skin. She wanted to move into the touch but she understood. “Thank you,” he said.

Other than the ambiguous looming threat of The Order, everything seemed to have settled into a rhythm Valerie imagined she could be happy with. Neither one of them mentioned Russell’s confession of love again. Valerie was thankful for that. She couldn’t say the word back to him if she didn’t believe they were true. She cared about him and was thankful for him. She even felt there was a chance she could love him but for now, she was just happy to have him around. Whatever that entailed.

A loving smile grew on his face. And though he didn’t say another word, Valerie saw that he was happy just to have her around as well.

Chapter Twenty Four

For the next two and half weeks Russell and Valerie waited for The Order to arrive but they never did. They easily fell into a routine. By the end of Russell’s first week on the Gilmore farm, he was keeping up with George’s requests and was putting in full days as a farm hand. When Valerie told her mother she was going to look for a waitressing job in town to help contribute, her mother insisted she help her in the salon instead. Valerie started assisting her mother. She was happy to be spending time with her family and working with her mother at home, which kept her near Russell, too.

They had lunch together each afternoon and practiced his halo control a little bit every day. Without any secrets hanging between them, they were able to learn more about each other. It felt like sharing a life together. It felt normal.

Late one night they sat facing each other on Valerie’s bed which was part of their ritual. They’d have a mid-night snack and Valerie would look him in the eyes and touch his hands and arms. After a few days, once he had mastered that, she touched his face. Then she started adding in distractions like conversation. It was Valerie’s favorite time of day. She was getting to know him better than she imagined she could.

“What’s your … favorite color?” she asked, touching the apple of his cheek sweetly. She watched the dim light graze his skin as he opened his mouth to answer her.

“And don’t say black!” she teased. His mouth snapped shut and he smirked.

“The color of your eyes,” he said quietly. As he spoke the light of his halo grew more intense. She pulled back and scolded him with her eyes. Valerie never let The Order stray far from her thoughts. Each morning when she woke she looked at the sky and prayed that he would still be there. She prayed to a God she’d long given up hope on for the chance to have more time with him. And every time she saw him, she whispered ‘thank you’ in her thoughts.

“Stop that,” she reprimanded.

He smiled, obviously unfazed by her serious tone. “What? I like green and blue. The color I like just happens to be the color of your eyes,” he replied.

A grin pulled at Valerie’s mouth. He’d almost completely abandoned the shy attitude she once saw in him and every day she got to know the comedian in him a little bit more. His shyness only returned each night when they practiced. She always saw that wide-eyed look on his face just before she reached out to him.

“What’s your favorite color?” he asked in return.

The exact color of your eyes
, she thought with a sigh. “Blue,” she said, putting her hand against the part of his chest that showed through the top two unbuttoned buttons of his shirt. Faint amber pulsed against his skin for a split second before disappearing. They locked eyes again and he raised a dark eyebrow, waiting for her to continue.

 “Do angels fall in love with each other?” she asked, trailing a finger from his ear to his shoulder, seeing no reaction.

Russell twisted his lips seeming to ponder the question for a minute all while Valerie continued to trace her fingertips along his skin.

“I’ve only heard of it twice. The thing about us is we have our jobs and our devotion and that is all. It isn’t a miserable existence or anything but there isn’t anything we call our own aside from work,” he said.

“Do you miss it?” she asked hesitantly.

She noticed his jaw stiffen and he cleared his throat immediately. “I have immense guilt for what I have done.” Valerie lifted her hand to cup his cheek and he turned away from her.

“I’ve disobeyed rules I never once questioned in all eternity. I turned my back on my Creator. But I did it to be near you and to honor Gabriel’s wishes,” he added.

She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel. She only hoped he wouldn’t remind her just how deeply he felt by using
that
word. Her hand sat gently on his leg and she waited.

“Whatever consequences come to me because of what I have done will have all been worth it for these days I’ve been able to spend with you.
These
moments. No matter what happens, I’m happier for it. I consider myself the most blessed of all the angels for having felt so much of what humans are privileged to feel. I could never miss the realm the way I would miss you or this house or your family or our days together.”

Valerie glanced down at their hands and saw the hazy glow of Russell’s halo begin to spark on his knuckles and she pulled away from him. He was getting better at control but she could still see how much he cared for her every time she saw that hint of illumination.

More nights of the same slow and steady practice followed until eventually the glow of his halo seemed to have all but burned out completely. What was once like the headlights of a semi-truck was now as miniscule as light catching a single speck of glitter. Though the practice was almost no longer necessary, the worrisome thought of Russell’s eventual punishment still ached in Valerie’s gut every time she touched him.

***

Valerie’s father, George, picked up his plate and rinsed it off in the sink. Saturday morning breakfast was done and the whole family was satisfied. “What are the weekend plans, Gilmore family? We seein’ a movie, playing Scrabble?” George asked as he returned to the table with a fresh cup of coffee.

His wife glared at him for a moment as did his son. “Are you serious, George?” Valerie’s mother asked with her head cocked to one side in surprise. Valerie’s father looked confused and silenced himself with a sip of coffee.

“Good, I’m glad he forgot. I don’t need you guys there to embarrass me anyway,” Justin said, swiping a few more strips of bacon from the last plate on the table.

Valerie shot Russell a look before chiming in. “Anyone care to fill us in on what’s going on?” she asked with a chuckle. Her father looked sheepish and her mother looked irritated. Whatever it was, her dad had clearly forgotten.

“Your dad and I are supposed to chaperone the Harvest Moon dance your brother’s going to tonight,” her mother replied, pointedly staring at her husband. Valerie looked at her father and laughed as he shrugged and made a face. He stood up to hug her mother. He pecked her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear.

“Justin, do you have a date to this thing?” Valerie asked, tightening her eyes on her little brother.

He avoided her stare and nodded slowly. “Heather Stanton.”

Valerie’s mouth gaped and she leaned into Russell’s side. “The Stanton girls are probably the best looking girls in the whole town.”

Russell smiled at Justin. “Congratulations,” he teased. “But I think I know the best looking girl in town,” he added in a whisper to Valerie. She didn’t think twice about putting her hand on Russell’s bare forearm as she breathed a laugh. He’d managed to keep his halo hidden for days without a single slip. Justin rolled his eyes and chomped down on a piece of bacon.

Russell nudged her and pointed to her parents who were still standing cozy by the sink. Valerie’s mom was grinning and nodding and her father kept glancing at Russell. “It looks as though they’re plotting something. What do you think?” Russell asked.

Valerie squinted at her parents taking in their exchange. “Russell thinks you’re plotting. What are you two up to?” she called out. Her mother put her hands on her hips and shot them a look.

“Russ’s too smart for his own good,” her father proclaimed. Russell’s shoulders shook with a quiet laugh.

Valerie’s parents returned to the table with scheming faces. “We were just thinking maybe you two should chaperone the dance in our place. You could get dressed up. It’d be … like a date,” Valerie’s mother said. Her mother and father hadn’t questioned the nature of Valerie’s relationship with Russell. Russell remained in the guest room for the entirety of their stay and no one had ever seen them kiss or even hug. Valerie thought it was cute of her mother to push them toward something romantic
. If she only knew,
Valerie thought.

She looked over at Russell who was staring back at her expectantly. Though they’d spent countless hours together and plenty of time alone even, she felt butterflies in her stomach at the idea of a date with him. It was so different than their first date. “Can you even dance?” she teased.

“Oh come on, Valerie. You know I’m full of surprises,” Russell shot back.

A smile spread on her face and he matched it with ease. Now the only secrets they had were the ones they shared. “What do you think?” she asked in a whisper. Russell’s eyes danced across her face and his grin lingered.

He turned to her parents politely. “George, may I borrow a tie?”

Valerie’s mother clasped her hands together under her chin with glee. “You can borrow anything you want! But I do have one condition to this whole thing,” she said. She stood up and moved toward Russell with contemplative eyes. When she reached him she put her hand at the back of his neck and gathered up his dark waves. “You’re gonna need a haircut, young man,” she finished.

“Mom!” Valerie yelped.

“It’s just a little shaggy,” her mother said, dragging her words out. Russell chuckled and turned to Julia. “Of course, Mrs. Gilmore. By all means, make me look presentable.”

“See, Val, he doesn’t mind. Why don’t you go get him shampooed and I’ll be there when I’m done cleaning up breakfast,” her mother cooed as she took the final plate from Justin.

Valerie glanced at Russell and laughed as she saw his brow rise in amusement. She shoved his arm trying not to get caught up in the feeling of solid muscle. Valerie led him to her mother’s shop that jutted off the side of the house. He’d only been in there a few times when he was looking for Valerie. Entering the space with him, Valerie suddenly felt the weight of Russell’s stare. She turned to him and saw his eyes were on her. It was no different than the way he normally looked at her over the meals they shared or the evenings they spent holding hands and tentatively touching each other’s faces to help him grapple with the power of his halo. But it felt different. With a romantic evening planned for them, she couldn’t stop thinking about where the night might lead.

She pointed to the black leather chair that was permanently leaned back against the white ceramic bowl sink. Russell took a seat and got comfortable, reclining, his neck cradled by the sink. Russell stayed silent as she doused his black locks with water trying to focus on anything but how intimate the moment seemed.

“This should be interesting,” Russell croaked and Valerie’s stomach fluttered. Did he know how exhilarating it was for her to touch him this way? She squashed the thought and tried to make light of the moment as she lathered his hair with shampoo that smelled of fresh mint.

“What? Spending one on one time with my mother?” she joked.

His eyes opened and he craned his head back further to meet her eyes with a smile. A shiver rolled through her looking deep into his blue eyes from the strange angle.

“No. The fact that my hair will have grown back by the time we leave for the dance. It’s a part of that whole healing, not aging bit,” he replied. Valerie laughed and stopped her hands in the middle of a pile of suds that enveloped his scalp.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Haven’t you ever noticed I don’t shave?”

She stared at the smooth skin of chin and jaw and sighed. “I guess I never thought about it,” she muttered. His lips turned up in a smile and he shut his eyes again. Valerie rinsed his hair clean of bubbles and pumped some conditioner into her palm. She slid her damp fingers through his hair and pressed firmly on his scalp, dragging the product through his strands.

Russell cleared his throat and she watched as he put his bottom lip in between his teeth, pulling the flesh so taut it turned pale. She stopped when he shifted in the chair for a second time.

“Is something wrong?” Valerie asked, her hands resting gently against his scalp.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Is it just me or is this sort of … sexy?”

Valerie exhaled and opened her mouth to speak but she had no words. She took her hands from his hair and stood silent for a moment. A stunned laugh escaped her lips.

“I can’t believe you just said that,” she giggled.

“What should I have said? Sensual? Hot?”

She lowered her head and felt her face growing red and pulsing with heat.

“You shouldn’t have said
anything
. You’re making me blush,” she laughed.

He tilted his head back again and gazed at her with serious eyes. “That is nothing compared to what you do to me,” he breathed. For all of the nights they’d spent caressing each other in innocent ways, neither had ever felt the need to bring up the fact that it was
her
that made him glow. She alone had that power over him. She remembered what he said about his halo and what emotions made it appear.
Desire, passion, lust—love
. Valerie drew in a ragged breath and kept her eyes on him as she slipped her fingers back into his wet hair. The pads of her fingers touched his scalp and she saw the smallest sparkle emit from under his thick, dark hair. When she glanced back at his face, a smile had crept onto his lips. She moved her hands through his hair again and watched as his halo barely shimmered through the beads of water.