Ruthless (21 page)

I held my breath. I was so close. It wouldn't take much to push me over. But of course Zag knew that. He liked to tease. He ran his tongue slowly up the seam of my pussy, tantalizing me with a few firm licks, then went back to slowly trailing his tongue up and around. Close but never quite giving me what I needed.

“Zag, please!”

He smiled against my pussy. Then his finger joined his tongue and gently parted my folds before teasing me with a thrust.

I arched up into his mouth.

“There's my hot little cunt. So impatient. My girl's got an impatient pussy.”

My muscles clamped down on his thrusting finger. I wanted more. I wanted that deep thrusting, pounding sensation only his cock could give me.

“Please, Zag.”

One finger became two, and he set up a pace that had me panting. I was so close. His tongue flicked over my clit and I finally broke.

Wave after wave of ecstasy crashed over me. My body shuddered and quaked with the aftermath.

But Zag didn't let up for one second. His fingers kept thrusting, his tongue flickering over my clit until I was in sensory overload. My entire body throbbed like one large nerve ending. A single flick of his tongue set off another wave of shudders. With a weak whimper, I rolled over and tried to escape him. There was such a thing as too much pleasure, after all.

This time he let me.

My skin was oversensitized. Every movement caused a whole new host of aftershocks to rock my body. But I still loved it when Zag crawled into bed behind me and cuddled against my back. He brushed the hair away from my neck and kissed my nape. If I wasn't already all melty, I would've totally melted again.

After a few moments, my heartbeat slowed from its panicked rate to the slightly too fast cadence it adopted whenever Zag was near. Most times he didn't even have to say anything or even look in my direction, and I was still a goner.

Although I loved it when we did me, a large part of me was sad that I didn't get all of him. The feeling of his hard cock inside me, the look on his face when he orgasmed, that little sound he made when he went over. I missed them. And I felt bad that I got my small slice of heaven while he was still hard and throbbing behind me. Maybe we still had time for me to do him.

I shifted slightly to reach for his cock, but froze when his hand swept down from my shoulder to cup my tummy.

I held my breath. Did he know? I was only a few weeks along. It wasn't like he could see or feel a difference. Should I say anything? Was this the moment?

“You feeling better, princess?”

I slumped into the bed with relief—or was it disappointment? At this point, I was too rattled to know which way was up, let alone how I felt. I let out a sigh. “I always feel better after an orgasm.”

His lips curved against my neck. “Glad I could help.”

He reached up and tweaked my nipple before bouncing out of the bed.

I snuggled deeper into the sheets and listened to Zag wash up in the bathroom. I know I should've told him. Hell, I still had the opportunity to tell him tonight. Why was I hesitating? I knew deep down he was a good guy. I was afraid how it would change things between us. Okay, when it boiled down to the truth, I was chickenshit.

I took a deep breath. I needed to calm down. We still had time. Was there anything really wrong with wanting to wait a little longer? I needed more time to figure out what was going on. What I'd say to him.

“Hey, princess, I gotta go.”

Zag stood in the doorway, his leathers on and his hair pulled back, revealing those gorgeous cheekbones of his. I tried to imagine what our child would look like. I really hoped they'd get his ridiculously long eyelashes. And my brains, of course.

“Princess?”

I shook my head. Lord, I was scattered today. “What?”

“I gotta go. Business. You going to be okay here by yourself?”

“I—uh, yeah. I'm fine. Really.”
Just pregnant with your baby and freaking out
.

He studied my face for a long moment. “You sure?”

I could tell from his tone that he didn't believe me. I must've looked as frazzled as I felt. Hoping that I could hold it together a few more minutes, I held my breath and nodded.

“ 'Kay. We're going for a ride, so I won't be back till late tomorrow. I'll lock up behind me.”

I silently nodded again.

“Damn, babe. You're making it impossible for me to leave you here.” He strode across the room to cup my face in his hands. “Take care of yourself.”

His lips covered mine, and before I could kiss him back, he pulled away. In the distance, I heard a car's horn.

“Fuck me. Prospects have the worst timing. I gotta go. Later, princess.”

I bit my lip as I heard his boot treads on the hardwood echo down the hall.

Dammit. That was my chance. Why didn't I take it? What was wrong with me? Obviously he cared about me. He didn't use the words exactly, but I could see it. Why didn't I tell him?

Shit. I groaned and buried my head in the pillows. That was tomorrow's problem. Right now I wanted to go to sleep and not think about anything.

Of course, it didn't help that the pillows smelled like Zag.

S
EPTEMBER 27

S
TREET
V
IBRATIONS

A week later and I still hadn't told him. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. Some sign that he loved me? That what we had would last after all this crap with Preacher and the Tramps was over? Or some guts to make myself vulnerable and lay it all out for him? But neither signs nor guts had shown up, so I was still hiding the biggest secret of my life from the man in my life.

And if I didn't fess up soon, my impending baby bump would do it for me. Already my jeans were starting to feel a little tight around the waist.

Since I'd obviously decided to keep the baby, Nic and Em both thought it was beyond time to tell Zag. Emily thought Zag would be over-the-moon excited, but I had a feeling Nicole was more suspicious and believed the news would be the end of me and him. With their disapproval of how I was handling the pregnancy reveal, I'd pulled back, not meeting for our weekly lattes or reaching out for a girls' night. It felt like I had no one to turn to.

But I really could've used someone to talk to right now. I was so in over my head.

Like now. I was currently wrapped around Zag's back as we zipped through the city streets on our way to Street Vibrations. I'd never attended the yearly biker rally—usually I was busy working. But somehow I'd inexplicably gotten this weekend off. I was pretty sure
someone
had had a little conference with my boss about my schedule for the weekend. Work was sure to be interesting when I went back on Monday.

Needless to say, I was more than a little freaked out. On many fronts.

We pulled into the shop's parking lot. I'd never seen so many motorcycles in my entire life—not even at the few club parties I'd been to. The lot was lined on both sides with bikes. There had to be at least fifty on this one side alone. Not to mention the bikers. Leather, tattoos, and facial hair. And not a familiar or friendly face among them. I hunched a little closer to Zag.

He pulled up next to a small parking spot, then turned and slowly walked his bike backward into the spot.

“Watch out for the bike on your left,” Zag warned as I swung off the bike from behind him.

I smiled slightly through my nerves. Yeah, the last thing I wanted to do was crash into a row of bikes. I could imagine the impression
that
would make. I took off my helmet and handed it to Zag, then hung back and waited for him to dismount while I fussed with my helmet hair. When he was off, he tugged my hand and we walked together to where the rest of the group waited outside the front door. We stopped at the edge of the crowded circle. Zag's instructions when he came to pick me up earlier ran through my head.

“Stay at my side at all times unless I instruct you otherwise. No eye contact with any other bikers.”

My breath hitched and a buzzing sound filled my ears. I was pretty sure his edict didn't apply to True Brothers, but I should've asked; not that he gave me the chance.

True Brothers MC wasn't the only motorcycle club riding around town, and Zag had mentioned something about another chapter joining the party tonight. According to Zag, the function had never been contentious, but there was always a first time. And then there was the whole Preacher thing. The cops hadn't been in touch, so as far as I knew the trial was still taking place in six weeks. Zag hadn't mentioned his name to me, but I knew the ex-member was a concern, given how big the party was supposed to be tonight. Lots of places to hide in a crowd. My blood ran cold at the thought.

Hopefully no one else could see my fear. Because if they could see it, Zag would, too. And he'd be pissed that I thought he couldn't keep me safe, or he'd make me go home immediately. Shit, maybe that wasn't a bad idea. Now I had more than my own safety to worry about. What was I doing? Why the hell was I here again? Oh yeah, I'd gotten myself caught up in the middle of a biker turf war. So these, apparently, were my people.

“Nice to see you, Jess.” Hearing a familiar voice, I felt some of my panic slowly drain away. Bumper's long goatee and neck tattoos fit in with the group. He seemed nice enough to me. In that slightly rough and scary kind of way.

I gave him a genuine smile. “Nice to see you, too.”

Reb tipped his beer can in my direction. “I was starting to think he was keeping you chained to his bed or something.”

My cheeks filled with heat. No matter how much time I'd spent with these guys, I never seemed to get used to their blunt talk. And there was something especially naughty when it was coming from such hot, attractive guys.

“Hey, you know I don't kiss and tell.” Zag tossed his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.

I sunk into his embrace. Honestly, I was eager for the contact. I always felt safe in Zag's arms—plus it gave me a great place to hide my burning face.

“Since when?” Reb grumbled.

Zag's lips brushed across my brow. “Although it doesn't sound like a bad idea,” he whispered.

Reb rolled his eyes and Zag pulled me even closer. The banter between the two of them—even if it was at my expense—was so lighthearted it was hard to remember that they were tough bikers. Until you looked at them.

And looking at Reb, once I got past his gruff exterior, I could see the pain in his eyes. He was still hurting from the horrible fight with his wife, Rhonda. Given the shit she'd said, I couldn't blame him. I'd tried to ask Zag about it later, wanted to know if Reb was all right, but Zag didn't want to talk about it. Apparently gossip wasn't something a big, bad biker participated in. Still, I was concerned. Reb was an okay guy and he deserved better.

Not that I felt comfortable enough with him yet to tell him that.

The conversation around me faded as I sank deeper into my thoughts. I'd wanted to see this side of Zag, to see him in his element and try to figure how—or if—I fit into his life. Then there was also the part where Zag really didn't give me much of a choice. But I did fit. Three minutes in the company of these guys and all my nerves faded away. If that didn't tell me I belonged, I don't know what would.

I had to tell him. Just not here. Tonight. When we were home, together, alone.

In the meantime, I needed to get some food in my belly. What happened to the lighthearted barbecue I was promised? We were probably going to stand around drinking all night. Yay. My empty stomach grumbled at the thought.

A few of the guys closest to us heard my grumbly stomach and chuckled.

I could feel my cheeks heating with my blush. “Sorry, Zag promised me dinner and I'm starving.”

“Told you she wasn't one of those prissy types,” Bumper said.

Reb shrugged apologetically. “We have a few minutes before the festivities kick off.”

Zag kissed the top of my head. “Looks like you're one of us now.”

“One of us. One of us,” Bumper chanted robotically.

I laughed as Bumper relieved the tension. “Gee, thanks. Yay.”

“You'll be fine. As long as you don't get on Reb's bad side.” Bumper shook his head. “You
really
don't wanna get on his bad side.”

Zag gave Bumper a one-finger salute. “Dude, what the hell? You trying to scare off my girl?”

My heart went all mushy at his “my girl” comment. He liked me. Heck, probably more than liked—it wasn't like he was the kind of guy to spill all his feelings. No, he kept them bottled up inside, but he let a few escape now and then.

Bumper smirked. “Nah, I'm letting her know what she's in for.”

I let out a snorting laugh that had both men staring at me. I just shook my head. Like that evening in the parking garage with Bobby and the past two months hadn't spelled it out for me. And I was still here. With him.

Zag, the man I was having serious heart-melting feelings for.

I had to tell him.

“You okay, princess?”

I blinked up at Zag. “Yeah. Sorry. Just hungry.”

And freaking out.

Zag's eyes narrowed as he stared down at me. “We'll eat in a few. First we ride, then Reb will kick off the opening ceremony.”

“Then we eat,” Bumper finished.

I gave them both a smile and nodded. And maybe by then I'd find my nerve and tell Zag already.

Thirty minutes later, we were cruising down Virginia Street. I'd never been a part of a large group ride before. The low rumble of Zag's bike was drowned out by the dozens of motorcycles around us. But I could feel the vibrations deep in my bones.

I looked at the pack of bikers around us. All wore soft leather vests with True Brothers emblems across the back. These were Zag's people. Bumper pulled up on our right. He had on one of those excuses for a helmet—it technically satisfied the helmet law but wouldn't protect him at all in a collision—and dark sunglasses. His bearded mouth parted and his bright white teeth flashed as he gave me a wicked smile. I smiled back, then ducked my head into Zag's shoulder.

I understood what Zag saw in these guys. Acceptance. I couldn't remember the last time people just accepted me at face value. They didn't need to know where I grew up or what I did for a living. Although my experience with Bobby earlier probably helped me gain status, I had the feeling that even without my jumping in, they still would've accepted me. The fact that Zag vouched for me was enough for them.

Family.

The tension when I'd met the group earlier was much the same as when I'd had boyfriends over for the whole meet-the-parents rigmarole—if only slightly more dysfunctional. These were the guys Zag called brothers, the ones he went to if he had any problems.

As we slowed to make a right turn, a group of spectators on the sidewalk caught my attention. A young mother held her screaming toddler close to her. The adult's face showed her wariness even as she tried to reassure her crying child.

Then there was that aspect of the biker life. I couldn't forget who exactly Zag and his friends were. Who society judged them to be. Despite my earlier ostrich-like hiding in the sand—before Preacher—I'd known that Zag and his crew got up to some serious stuff. Could I handle the dark world they lived in? Were my feelings for Zag and the sense of belonging enough?

It was humbling to know that while they accepted me for me, I'd judged them like everyone else had. I hugged Zag's waist and turned my head away. Screw society. I'd never been one to run with the herd, anyhow.

Although I guess now I was in a totally different pack, with a man I was having some pretty strong emotions for. I couldn't bring myself to think the l-word. Not until I knew how he felt.

Especially about the baby.

I just had to find my nerve.

Later, at the barbecue, the thought was always close to my heart. I'd almost blurted it out twice, but the lack of privacy had me biting the words back. We were never really alone. Between Zag's duties during the ceremony and the chaotic crush at the barbecue, we'd hardly had time to say three words to each other. Instead, I'd spent time with Bumper and even Reb, although neither of them was particularly chatty.

To be honest, it was the strangest collection of people I think I'd ever seen. During the ceremony, city council members rubbed elbows with long-haired and heavily tattooed bikers while a local TV station filmed it. Maybe it wasn't such a stretch for a “normal” like me to fall in with Zag's crowd. Plus their food was amazing.

“So Jess, how'd you like the ride?”

Mid-chomp into my burger, I waved Bumper off and chewed my huge bite behind my hand. What can I say? I'd never been a dressing-on-the-side kind of girl. I paused inches away from another huge bite of my burger. “It was freakin' awesome.”

“Uh-oh…” A beautiful Amazon redhead came up from behind Bumper and put her arm around his hips. “I never thought I'd see the day Zag was packing double.”

“Angel, Jessica. Jess, this is Angel.”

I gave Angel a half wave as I took a long swig of my soda. Something told me that Angel wasn't her given name, and I had a strong suspicion of how she came by the nickname, given that Bumper was the third biker I'd seen her getting friendly with in the last hour. “Nice to meet you,” I murmured.

Angel took a long draw from her cigarette and blew her smoke in my direction. “So is this the bitch who tamed Zag?”

I gagged at the smell and took a giant step away. Bitch? My hackles rose at being referred to as a bitch. But since it wasn't the first time that day I'd heard it used—just the first time in reference to me—I tried to let it roll off my back. Apparently you were either a biker or a bitch. And since I didn't have a bike…

I took a deep breath and gave her a half shrug.

“Lay off, Angel.” Zag almost choked me when he tossed an arm around my neck and pulled me close. “Jess is officially off- limits. I don't want to hear about you pulling your shit on her.”

Zag's voice was terse, his grip tight. He was
pissed
. The fact that his anger had come out because he was defending me had me choking up. And it had nothing to do with the arm around my neck. Maybe it was the hormones…

Angel blinked her baby blues in an exaggerated “Who, me?” expression.

She didn't look as innocent as her pantomime. Although that might've had something to do with the hand she had crawling down Bumper's waist toward his crotch.

Embarrassed by her public display, I looked away.

“Fucking knock it off, Angel. There are kids still here, for Christ's sake.” Bumper scowled and batted her hand away.

“What the hell is wrong with you guys today?” After tossing a glare in my direction, she flounced away in a cloud of cigarette smoke.

“What the fuck was that about?” Zag grumbled.

“Ah, you know Angel.” Bumper's eyes darted toward me, then away. “She's been pissed ever since you stopped coming—”