Saved By You (2 page)

Pain tightened in my stomach as I sat on the bed next to her. I felt like someone who was watching things happen in a movie—like I was somehow detached from everything going on. Somewhere in the depths of my mind, I knew what my mom was going to tell me. And it was in those depths of my mind, that I had already begun to numb myself to the pain I was about to endure.

She gave me a long, hard look before saying anything else.

“I have cancer,” she said, simply but firmly.

The words rang in my ear, as though someone in a band had just crashed symbols around my head. I’d known it was coming. Having considered everything that had happened—it made sense. But that didn’t make any easier to hear.

Heat rose to my cheeks as my eyes went blurry. That lump of coal in my throat grew to a new size, and I wondered if it was going to try to suffocate me. Mom groaned as she leaned forward and put her hand on mine. She squeezed tight, but that didn’t make any of the pain go away.

“How long have you known?” I asked.

She blew out another breath and kept her eyes locked on mine. Muscles twitched in her face before she could answer.

“We weren’t sure until yesterday,” she said. Her head dipped a little. “That’s why we were in San Antonio. We were seeing a specialist.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said, the tears starting to come more powerfully. “Why didn’t you say you were sick?”

“Maggie, it’s not that simple,” she said. “We had to be certain, and no one was giving us any answers.”

“You could have told me, Mom,” I said. “I’m a big girl, I can handle these things. Did you think I wasn’t going to find out?”

Her eyes tightened and she let out a heavy breath. She squeezed my hand, again, and slumped further into the bed. A heavy silence weighed on us.

“How bad is it?” I asked, looking down at the bed. I was afraid that if I looked at her, I was going to see the truth. Part of me wanted to continue living in my little fantasy world where nothing was as bad as it seemed. That fantasy world had gotten me through a lot.

When she didn’t respond, though, I had to look up at her. Her eyes were grave, and her head shook from side to side.

The tightness spread from my chest to my head. The tears flooded and the lump raged. Mom’s face slackened, and she squeezed my hand more firmly.

“The doctors are saying it could be a month,” she said.

A month?

A month!

The ringing in my ears was overpowering, and I refused to believe her.

“That’s impossible,” I said.

Her head tilted to the side. “At first they thought maybe a year,” she said. “But the cancer is spreading so quickly that they’re not certain.”

“A month?” I repeated, trying to make sense of the words.

Her eyes tightened, and she nodded.

“That’s what they’re saying,” she said.

My head slumped forward, tears running down my cheeks, and falling into my lap. In the last twenty-four hours, I’d spent more time crying than not. My thoughts were racing at a million miles a second. I didn’t even know where to begin to try and make sense of them.

“Is that why we dropped everything and came to Texas?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

Mom nodded.

“You couldn’t have mentioned something on the way?” I said. “Not even a hint of what was going on?” The frustration in me was turning to anger. Anger that she’d kept such a big thing from me. Anger that she refused to trust me with the truth.

“I’m so sorry, Maggie,” she said. Her voice was hoarse. “I needed to be sure. I wanted us near family—so they could help us.” I looked up at her, and saw her tears. Mom didn’t cry very easily. Not even after everything
he’d
put her through. She gave me a long look, and shook her head. “We’ve been through too much alone,” she said. “It’s time we realized that there are people who love us and can help us.”

The anger pooled in my chest. It had no outlet. I felt the sudden urge to run from the room—to put as much distance between me and everything going on as possible. But, a tap at the door interrupted those thoughts.

The door opened, and the nurse came in. Grandma followed close behind, wearing the same clothes I’d seen her in last night. She looked like she hadn’t slept at all. The nurse frowned at me when she saw us both crying, but her face was compassionate.

“I’m going to need you to step out for a bit,” she said to me. “I have some stuff to do with your mom.”

I gave her a confused look, then understood. I turned back to Mom, and squeezed her hand.

“I’ll be outside if you need anything,” I said.

Mom looked between Grandma and I, and she shook her head.

“It’s fine, dear,” she said. “You should go home and get some rest. The doctors are going to be in and out all day.”

I gave her a hard look, wanting to protest, but Grandma stopped me.

“Come, child,” she said. “Your mother needs rest. We can visit again later.”

I squeezed Mom’s hand one more time, and she gave me a reassuring smile.

“I’ll see you when they’re done,” I said. She gave me a tight nod, and I let Grandma lead me out of the room.

“I’m not leaving,” I said, as we made our way into the hallway.

The lights outside of the room were much brighter, but the hum of the machines faded, if only slightly. I didn’t think I’d ever forget the way those machines buzzed and beeped. Their sound was going to linger in my head—another reminder of all the bad things that had happened in my life.

“There’s nothing you can do here, child,” Grandma said. “Your mother needs her rest, and the doctors have things they need to do.” She gave me a tight smile, and I felt my shoulders sag. “We can come back later on this afternoon.”

“Where’s Sarah?” I asked, half expecting to have found her waiting outside the room.

“Huckleberry took Sarah home last night,” she said. “I’m sure your Uncle Larry already has a hot breakfast waiting for us.”

“Aunt Denise?” I asked.

Grandma gave me a stern look. “She’ll let us know if anything comes up,” she said. There was more than a hint of finality in her tone.

There wasn’t anything I could do at the hospital, but I didn’t want to feel like I was abandoning her. Anger still ran through me at the thought of everything she’d kept hidden, but that anger was fleeting. How could I stay angry with her when she was so sick?

“You’re sure she’s going to be alright?” I asked.

Grandma let out a small sigh. “She’ll rest easier knowing that
you’re
taken care of,” she said.

I frowned at her. “What do you mean? She knows I can take care of myself, doesn’t she?” I said.

Grandma shook her head. “Trust me, dear. It doesn’t matter how old you get, a mother’s job is never done.”

I considered it, and then blew out a sigh and nodded. The exhaustion was returning. I wondered if it was ever going to leave.

We found Aunt Denise in the waiting room on our way out, and she promised to keep an eye on things. The storm had passed sometime in the early morning, leaving only a stickiness in the air that clung to everything.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I have missed all of the signs? They seemed so obvious now. The whole time I had been thinking that something was wrong with Grandma, but that was only because she was older. Even Sarah had said that Grandma seemed fine. It had been days since Mom started looking sick. I’d even told her about it. Why couldn’t I have seen it earlier?

Grandma drove us through the winding streets of Green Falls. Everything was distant, like we were driving through a dream. It was like a dream where everything was familiar, but somehow didn’t make sense. This wasn’t my life, right now, was it? This was supposed to be my summer vacation—just a trip home to see the family. A trip that was long overdue. Life like this wasn’t permanent, right?

Even as I considered the question, I felt worse. It felt selfish that I should be thinking about stuff like that at a time like this. Mom was laid up in the hospital and all I could think about was what it meant for me. There were more important things going on than my selfish needs. I knew that, but it didn’t stop me from thinking the thoughts all the same.

We made the final turn toward the house, and I hoped that the numbness in my chest would spread everywhere. I didn’t want to feel anything anymore. I didn’t want to worry about the future and whatever it might hold.

A month
.

Was that really all the time I had with my mom?

I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts far away. But they wouldn’t budge.

As Grandma pulled into the driveway, another chill went up my back. A white BMW was parked outside, and I recognized it immediately. My skin prickled the instant I saw it, and the waning anger in my stomach boiled to life, renewed.

What is
he
doing here?

I wanted to growl out loud, as my fury swelled. I thought I had made it very clear that I didn’t want to see him. He manipulated me in a way that I’d never seen before. I had let down my guard, and he had destroyed me from the inside out.

“It looks like we have a visitor,” Grandma said, a smile touching her lips. “I wonder who it could be.”

“No one that will be sticking around for long,” I said, through clenched teeth.

I all but snarled as I jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind me, with only one purpose in mind.

I burst through the door, seeing nothing but red. As I stomped through the front hallway, Sarah came walking out from the living room.

“I thought I heard someone pull up,” she said, her face already bright. “Someone’s here to see you.”

“What is he doing here?” I said.

She gave me a confused look, taken aback. “Is something wrong?”

The red in my eyes intensified. I didn’t have time to explain it to her—not while he was still in the house.

“Where is he?” I asked.

Sarah’s look of confusion turned to one of frightened surprise. She pointed over her shoulder.

“The living room,” she said. Then she added. “He’s talking to Huck.”

I pushed past her before she could finish what she was saying. When I entered, both Haden and Huck were both locked in conversation. Haden didn’t even see me until Huck looked up at me. I loomed over them, hoping the intensity of my presence did a good job of letting him know how pissed I was.

They both went silent at the same time. Haden gave me a tight, innocent smile.

“Hi,” he said, weakly.

Huck looked nervously between us, and kept his mouth shut. He was smart enough to not interfere.

“What are you doing here?” I said.

“I was hoping we could talk,” he said.

My eyes flashed.

“We have nothing to talk about,” I said. “I want you out of here. Now.”

“Don’t be like that, Maggie,” he said. “Hear me out, at least.”

“Hear you out?” I said. “You’ve had weeks to talk to me, but
now
you want me to hear you out?”

“You know it’s not like that,” he said. “Please, can we just talk for a minute?”

The red in my eyes deepened. Everything in the room around us shrank away.

“Get. Out. Now,” I snarled.

Haden winced, but didn’t say anything. Slowly, he rose to his feet, studying me all the while.

“If that’s what you want,” he said.

My breaths came in sharp gasps. I didn’t trust myself to respond. I didn’t need him to push me—I just needed him to disappear. I just needed a moment of peace.

His eyes scanned my face, hoping for the response that never came. His face pinched together, and he gave a slow nod.

“I’ll be around if you change your mind,” he said.

“Don’t you have your big tour to get off to?” I said. “I wouldn’t want to keep your fans waiting.”

“I’m not leaving without you,” he said.

The sincerity in his voice caught me off guard, but

“Then I hope you like that hotel room,” I said. “You’re going to be there a while.”

He blew out a soft sigh, and nodded. He stepped around me toward the door, then hesitated.

“Like I said,” he began. “If you change your mind, I’ll be around.”

My breaths came quick and shallow. I didn’t turn to watch him. I stood locked in place until I heard his footsteps fade away and the door shut behind him. As it did, my shoulders slumped forward, and all of my energy drained out of me. I collapsed into the couch next to Huck.

All the world was silent around me - just the way I wanted it to be. What kind of nerve did Haden have, barging back into my life after everything that had happened? Didn’t he realize how pissed I was? Didn’t he understand just how much he’d put me through? Did he think he could just show up with his sexy smile and make it all go away?

Someone sat down next to me. I didn’t open my eyes, but I knew it was Sarah. She didn’t say anything, and she didn’t try to comfort me. She just sat there, quietly.

I blew out another little sigh, and hoped the exhaustion would get the better of me. Maybe if I fell asleep for a long time, things would start to make sense.

I dozed off for a while, and when I finally opened my eyes, Huck had disappeared Sarah still sat next to me, watching me. She looked concerned.

Something delicious smelling wafted in from the kitchen, and my stomach groaned loudly. It had been a long time since I’d eaten.

“Smells like we’re missing breakfast,” I said, pushing myself up on the couch.

“How are you doing?” she asked. I gave her a long look before I responded.

I shrugged. “I don’t know,” I said. “I haven’t really taken a chance to think about things. Everything’s happening so fast.”

She nodded, and we sat in silence a while longer. Part of me wanted to say that everything was going to be alright - as much to assure myself as to assure Sarah. But, I didn’t know if it would be. In a matter of a few hours, my entire life had crumbled apart.

I’d found out that the only man I’d ever been in love with had been lying to me the whole time I knew him. Now, he was going to run back to his real life, where he’d forget all about me.

Then there was everything that had happened with Mom only a few hours later. How could she possibly only have a
month
to live? The idea of it was ludicrous—but it was the fact of the matter.