Saved By You (4 page)

“Want me to come with?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, I can do it on my own. I’m going to the hospital afterward if you want to meet me there,” I said.

She agreed, and wished me luck. I thanked her—I was going to need it.

Driving the Beater was nothing like driving the ‘Vette, but it was familiar. I’d spent a lot of time in that car, and it had been good to us. There was something comforting about being back in it.

A thick haze hung over the late afternoon—part of it from the clouds that refused to fade away, and part of it was because of everything that had happened, and everything that was about to happen. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Scottie. I had told myself that I was going to keep it professional and just stick to the facts—but I felt betrayed. I felt like he had intentionally deceived me the whole time, and I was pissed about it. That anger inside me demanded answers.

The parking lot at the Saloon was sparse when I showed up. There was no sign of Haden’s BMW, either. I didn’t want to deal with any more drama than was already on my plate. I’d dealt with him once already today, and that was enough.

When I pushed through the door to the dim interior of the bar, I saw the familiar shape of Scottie looming behind the bar. As usual, he was in the process of getting the bar ready to open, and he held a towel in one hand while he wiped a glass.

“Well if it isn’t the hero of the day,” he said, with a grin. I stared at him with a confused look. “I heard about how everything went with the band yesterday. Good work.”

“Then you must not have heard
everything
,” I said.

His brow knitted together. “What do you mean?”

I climbed onto one of the stools opposite him, and gave him a long, hard look.

“How long have you known who Haden was?” I asked. I didn’t bother to sugar coat it—I wanted a straight answer, so I asked a straight question. The confusion in his face turned in on itself. He sighed a deep breath, regarding me cautiously. “Why didn’t you tell me about him? What was the big secret?”

He shook his head, and wiped at the glass in his hand. He was silent for a long moment, and I wondered if he was going to answer me at all.

“It was none of my business,” he said, finally.

I stared at him, incredulous.

“That’s it?” I said. “That’s all I get, that it’s
none of your business
?”

He gave a shrug. “Haden made it clear that he was trying to keep a low profile. Wasn’t none of my business, so I kept my mouth shut.”

Heat built in my chest, and I slammed my hand onto the bar. There was a loud crack, and Scottie jumped back, surprised.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” I said. “You knew something was going on between us—you should have told me.”

Scottie’s hand went still as he regarded me. His head hung down, and she shook it from side to side.

“You’re right,” he said, nodding. “I should have told you.” My head cocked forward, disbelieving that he was admitting to it without so much as a fight. He shrugged. “I mean, I was kind of thinking you may have already known—so why even bring it up?”

“Well
I
didn’t know,” I said, sharply.

No sooner had I said it than the door behind me opened. Light flooded in from outside, and Scottie and I both whipped our heads around to see who it was. My gut wrenched when I saw the two men coming in.

Haden was in front, wearing the same thing I’d seen him in earlier—a tight black shirt with faded jeans. The man behind him walked with a sway in his step. It was like his feet thought the very ground he walked on was privileged for being allowed to support him. His mouth was cocked into a half-smile—it made me feel ill just looking at it.

Haden’s eyes connected with mine, and his step faltered. He hesitated for a second before continuing into the bar.

“I should have guessed you’d show up,” I said.

He eased onto the stool next to me, his jaw clenched. Kyle still stood, fixed in place. The look he gave me was one I hadn’t seen before. The smile had faded from his face, and he pursed his lips. We locked eyes for a second, and then he looked at the ground and walked around me without saying a word. He sat on a stool at the far end of the bar, and remained quiet.

What’s up with him?

Haden gave me a long look before he said anything. My eyes were intense, and I imagined burning a hole straight through him.

“Can we talk?” he asked, his voice soft.

My gut reaction was to yell at him. Where did he get off trying to be so sweet? He’d already taken everything from me—what more could he want?

“I told you before that I have nothing to say,” I said. I slid off the stool and started walking quickly for the door. I needed to get out of there. Memories of the night with Haden were already creeping into my head, and I wanted to run as far from them as I could.

Haden slid off the stool instantly, and grabbed me by the arm. I spun around, furious.

“Get your hand off me,” I said. With sharp tug, I pulled away from him.

“Maggie, please,” he said, his voice desperate. “I just want to talk. Please won’t you listen to me?”

My eyes burned again, but as the desperation in his voice washed over me, it stole with it some of my anger. I noticed for the first time just how bloodshot his eyes were—had he been crying to?

My breathing was quick. The anger in me told me to walk away and never look back. But that wasn’t something I could do. Looking at Haden, I knew that I owed him more. I glanced at both Scottie and Kyle. They barely made an attempt to disguise the fact that they were listening to us.

I stepped in closer to Haden, my voice hushed.

“I’ll give you five minutes,” I said. “And that’s it.”

Haden’s face softened, then he glanced around. “Not here,” he said. “Tonight? Dinner?”

I was about to refuse outright—to tell him I’d changed my mind already, but I hesitated.

“I’ll be at the hospital,” I said.

Haden winced, and he looked away for a second. He took a breath and studied me.

“How’s your mom doing?” he asked.

My voice caught in my throat before I could respond. The truth flashed in my mind—that she may only have a month to live—but how was I supposed to say that out loud? It was ludicrous to even consider it, let alone give it voice.

Before I could respond, though, Scottie jumped in.

“Something wrong with your mom?” he asked, his voice quick. His face was wide with concern, and he’d nearly fumbled the glass in his hand before setting it back on the bar. I gave him a sideways look.

“She’s… in the hospital,” I said. I had to force the words out, they still felt foreign.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, leaning forward.

The weight of the question pressed on me. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t think so.” He gave me a long look. His eyes creased at the corners, pained. There was something in the look that I couldn’t quite place. It made me wince. “She’s at Green Falls General,” I said, without thinking.

He nodded at me, and his brow furrowed even more before he continued wiping the glass on the bar. He had the look of someone thinking about something—something important.

Haden turned his eyes back on me, and he studied me for a long second.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom,” he said. His mouth moved to say something more, but I cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said. And it was the truth. I didn’t want to talk about it—not with him, not with anyone.

His lips pursed shut, and he hesitated before giving me a tight nod. He studied me for a long second.

“What about right now?” he said. “Maybe we can head over to Chili’s or something and grab a bite?”

My stomach twisted into knots, and I found myself struggling to give an answer. The idea of sitting down with Haden was simultaneously revolting and fascinating. My heart pounded furiously while he looked at me, while my head screamed to turn and run. In the end, only one of them could get their way.

I nodded my head slowly.

“Okay,” I said.

The corner of his lips turned up into a dim smile, and the tightness in his face eased. “But I’m driving there separately,” I added.

“Whatever you want,” he said.

As we turned to leave the bar, I ventured one last look at Kyle. I caught him watching us with an expression I’d never seen on him before. It was surprising, though I didn’t pay it much thought.

He looked sad.

Haden caught a few more green lights than I did, and arrived at Chili’s before me. I was thankful for it, because I needed the space. Everything seemed to be happening so fast again—still—and I needed to figure out some way to keep control of my life. I’d set out to talk to Scottie about Haden, and about the Battle of the Bands, and hadn’t really been able to do either. Now, I was doing the one thing I had promised myself I wouldn’t—actually give Haden the time of day.

Even after everything he’d done to me, I still wasn’t able to refuse him. It was like my body acted on its own when it came to him, and my brain might as well be a passenger along for the right. Sooner or later, though, it was going to have to say its piece, if I would ever be able to live with everything that had happened.

The parking lot was nearly empty at this hour. Soon, the sun would begin to set, and the parking lot would swell with diners. But, for now, we had our run of the place. I glanced at the Starbucks sitting next door, and cringed as I remembered walking past it with Haden, hand in hand. That moment had been one of the best and worst times since I’d arrived in Green Falls, and now that I was so close to it again, the memory was even more powerful.

Guilt rolled through me when I entered the restaurant. Memories of my childhood summers surfaced - memories with my family in this very spot - memories with Mom. Would she ever set foot in there again? Would she ever leave the hospital?

I pushed the feelings down as best I could. I didn’t want to think about that right now - I
couldn’t
think about that right now. I couldn’t let Haden see that weakness. I had to let him know just how strong I was—that I was capable of handling anything.

I had to let
myself
know just how strong I was—that I was capable of handling anything.

A young hostess greeted me and I told her I was there to meet someone. She pointed me around the corner. Haden was sitting in the far booth, and he saw me before I saw him. A huge smile spread across his face—it made me ache in ways that it shouldn’t have.

“I’m glad you made it,” he said as I slid into the booth across from him. I gave him a puzzled look. “It took you a little while. I was beginning to think you’d changed your mind.”

I gave him a tight-lipped smile, not trusting myself to be too genuine. I couldn’t afford to let down my guard, not when it was just the two of us in that secluded little corner. Haden wasn’t allowed inside. Not anymore.

We sat for a long time, staring awkwardly at the menu without saying anything. I wasn’t about to be the first one to say anything. This was
his
show. I tried my best to focus on the food, but I didn’t even have a hint of an appetite. Breakfast had been big, and I just wasn’t in the mood to eat.

“I haven’t been here in forever,” he said, finally. I nodded my head, slowly, trying my hardest not to look up from the menu. “It doesn’t look like it’s changed much,” he said with a tiny laugh.

Another awkward silence passed over us until our waitress finally appeared. She asked what we’d like to drink.

“Water, please,” I said.

“Iced tea,” Haden said. “Hold the lemon.”

She scooted off, and it was just us, again. The silence was even more oppressive than before.

“Are you going to say anything?” he asked. A hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Was there something you wanted me to say?” I asked, my eyes still locked on the appetizer section.

“I don’t know.” His palms raised, dropping the menu. “Say anything.”

He blew out a long breath, and drummed his fingers on the table. Then, out of nowhere, he reached forward and wrapped his hand around mine.

A shudder ran from my fingertips all the way to my shoulder. Sparks flew, and my eyes snapped up, locking onto his. Panic descended over me, screaming at every muscle in my body to jerk away from him. But my body wasn’t listening.

“I’m sorry, Maggie,” he said. “I’m sorry for everything.”

My heart was doing its best to melt with his every word. But I was working even harder to keep it frozen—protected.

“You
should
be,” I said, curtly. My mouth tried to say even more, but I kept it quiet. Anger rumbled in my stomach, and I knew that nothing good would come of me running my mouth off.

“How can you be so upset with me?” he asked. “I wanted to tell you everything that night. I wanted to tell you all about who I was—about everything. We just got… distracted.” He fixed me with another long look. I could see the pain swelling in his eyes. “Maggie, I never meant to hurt you.”

My stomach sunk to the floor. I didn’t want to think about what had gone on that night. All of the things that I had shared with him—all the parts of
me
I’d shared with him. There was still an emptiness deep nestled deep inside me. I didn’t think I’d ever be whole again.

“If all you came to do was apologize, you’re wasting your breath,” I said. I tried to keep my voice steady and even, but the anger sharpened each word.

Haden winced, and I felt his hand twitch reflexively.

“I need you to hear me out,” he said, desperate. “You have to believe that I never meant for this to happen.”

“But, it did,” I said.

The words sank into him with a certain finality. He leaned back, but didn’t pull his hand away. He regarded me for a long time, considering what he wanted to say.

“Maggie, I wasn’t lying when I told you that I love you,” he said. The lump in my stomach turned over, rolling and tumbling inside of me. I swallowed, hard, trying to settle myself. “I would do anything for you. Just tell me how to make this right, and I’ll do it.”

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, and the familiar wetness glazed over my eyes.