Saying Goodbye (29 page)

While Adam showered and changed his clothing, Jack made sandwiches for them both. He checked his phone but no one had contacted him. Jack had spoken to the doctor while he was with Leslie, and the doctor had said as soon as Mark is comfortable eating solid food and getting out of bed, he can go home.

Jack sliced the turkey and avocado sandwiches diagonally, and set them on two plates on the table. Taking juice out of the fridge, Jack
fill
ed two tall tumblers and then put out napkins and a bag of chips to snack on with the sandwiches. When he was done, he stood at the back sliding door of his and Adam’s home in Malibu and stared at the ocean. The water was cresting in strong waves and the beach was nearly empty from the wind and cooler temperatures.

He heard a noise behind him and spotted Adam, wearing fresh clothing and shaven, coming into the kitchen. He sat at the table, sipped the juice and then picked up a sandwich half.

Jack touched his shoulder as he walked by to sit down
adjacent to
Adam
. Adam
slightly jerked away from the caress.

Heading to Rome and fulfilling a fantasy was all well and good, until the fallout hit. Jack had a feeling it was coming.

He shook the bag of chips onto his plate and offered to do the same for his husband.

Adam ignored him, staring at his
food
and
eating quietly.

Sighing, Jack set the chip bag down and said, “Just hit me with it. Okay?”

Adam glared at Jack. “You have no idea how much I want to
hit
you.”

Jack put his sandwich down and turned to face Adam. “Punch me. I know I deserve it.”

Adam ignored him and kept eating.

“Adam…”

“Shut up.”

Jack did. He took a bite of his food, but wasn’t hungry
from the stress
.

After a long silence, while Adam finished the sandwich and drank the juice, Adam said, “You thought going to Rome would get back at Billy?”

Jack winced. “I didn’t think. I wish I had.”

“So
…
this was all about yourself and revenge against the captain.”

“Adam…” Jack shook his head.

“But not about me?” Adam’s volume began to rise. “Not about cheating on me? Simply because we have a strong sexual relationship with Steve and Mark, what did you think, huh? I’d just turn the other way? I’m fine with you and Alex in bed together?” Adam began yelling, “While Mark was missing? While Mark lay dying on a horse trail in Glendale?”

Being a trial lawyer, Jack knew guilt when he felt it. He was dead guilty on all counts. And the worst charge? Adam was right. Jack hadn’t even thought it would bother Adam. Yes, because they had an open marriage. But that open exception was strictly for Steve and Mark. They had never strayed beyond that boundary.
Even when Adam shouted at Jack to
“Go! Go get it out of your system
,
”
Jack knew it wasn’t with Adam’s blessing.

Adam glared at Jack with so much anger Jack found it difficult to look at him.

“You fucking prick.” Adam sneered. “Was it worth it? Huh? Was sticking your dick into Mark’s son worth all you risked?”

Jack felt his emotions choke
him
and said, “No.”

“And Steve?” Adam appeared to stifle his roar of fury. “Steve fucking Alex? How did he think that would affect Mark? Affect Billy? Affect me?”

Jack moved his uneaten food away
, s
ick about his kneejerk reaction to ‘one-up’ Sharpe.

“Leaving
California
?” Adam’s voice broke as he stifled a scream of rage. “Leaving the country while Mark
was missing?
How could you? How could either of you do that? Do you realize what you did? Both of you stupid fucking pricks?”

“Oh God…” Jack covered his face and leaned his elbows on the table.

“I hope it was one damn good fuck, Larsen. Because
forgiveness may be in some people’s
vocabulary
, but I’m not so sure it’s in mine. I’m not that big of a fool.” He stood and left the table.

Jack
let go
a sob and thought about what had motivated him. And Steve.

L
ust and revenge.

Hearing Adam moving around in the living room, Jack jumped up from the table and saw him putting on his shoes and pocketing his wallet.

“Adam.” Jack interlaced his fingers in a begging gesture. “What can I do?”

Adam sneered at him. “The words, pack your shit, come to mind.”

“You…” Jack blinked and tears r
an down his cheeks. “You’d kick
me
out?
”

Adam gave Jack a look of exasperation. “Are you kidding me?”

“Adam, no. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

As if he were trying his best not to get violent, Adam stood close to Jack, breathing fire. “If Mark finds out, which inevitably he will
,
what do you think he will do about you and Steve? Huh?”

Jack bit back a
nother
sob.

“He’d say goodbye to both of you
.
” Adam checked on his phone and stuffed
it
into his jacket pocket. “You two complete assholes! You thought Billy’s act was
a free pass for both you and Steve
to go after
Mark’
s son? Huh? And while Alex was afraid, alone,
and
vulnerable?”

Jack knew every word Adam said was
true
, and it was cutting Jack to shreds. Attorney or not, he had no defense. He could be tried and hung on the evidence. There simply was no excuse.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” Adam asked, holding his car keys. “Come on, Larsen?
Where are
your lame reasons? Huh? Your hatred of Billy
?
Your fury that Billy had them both and you and Steve hadn’t. You!” Adam pointed into Jack’s face. “You, of all people, still thinking with your cock
?
You’re a forty-
four-year-
old man, Larsen
.
Was this some way of
proving to
yourself you’re still desirable? Needing pretty twenty-
four-year-
old superstar Alexander Richfield to want you?”

“No. Adam
…
please…”

Adam spun towards the door, opening it and leaving.

Jack reached for him
, grasping at emptiness
.

A minute later he
could hear Adam starting his car.

No squealing tires, no loud roar of the engine, that wasn’t Adam’s style. Adam had way too much class.

Jack dropped down on the sofa in the living room and curled over his lap, covering his face. The one move in this chess game he did not predict. Losing Adam.

And nothing was worth that. Nothing.

~

Mark was being helped to put on clothing that Keith and Carl had retrieved from Mark’s home
i
n Bel Air. Mark was no longer in ICU
but
in a regular room, one he was leaving.

Steve held out Mark’s shirt for him as Mark slipped his arms into it, and Alex crouched low, holding Mark’s shoes.

Both
of
the actors from the late night cable drama
Forever Young
, Keith O’Leary and Carl Bronson, had spent hours in the waiting room until Mark was moved out of the intensive care unit. They offered to get clothing for Mark, since Steve was reluctant to leave his side, and Alex refused as well.

As Mark stepped into his shoes
and Steve buttoned his shirt for him
,
Mark
looked up. His mother and Harry were standing
in
the doorway.

“You look thin as a rail.”

“Thanks, Mum.” Mark was used to her condescending comments.

Alex stood up after Mark’s shoes were on. “He’s a model, Gran
dma. He has to be.” Alex made sure his dad’s shirt was tucked in, in back
.

Mark thanked Steve and his son, and walked towards his mother, towering over her, as Harry stood silent behind her.
“I’m sorr
y you had to cross the pond for
this.”

Leslie met Mark’s gaze. “You always were unstable.”

Mark winced. He felt Steve’s
hand
on his shoulder, as if reassuring him
he was not alone
.

Mark replied, “Whilst I was out of it, I had a dream.”

Leslie didn’t appear very interested
and
said nothing.

“Dad was trying to lure me to a place.” Mark began to recall the dream or drugged hallucination. “I thought he was trying to bring me to hell.”

“Such rubbish.” Leslie waved her hand dismissively.

“I’m not so sure.”

“Was it a white light, Dad?” Alex asked.

“No. It was a house. Not the estate. But no matter how
much
he belittled me
or
bullied me,
I
w
ould not follow him to that door.”

“Utter nonsense. You never did have much of a hold on reality, Mark Antonious.”

“Leslie,” Steve admonished
,
“Take it easy on him.”

She gave Steve a stern stare. “That’s the problem, Steven. He’s had it too easy. He should be head of Richfield International. Not posing for ridiculous magazines
like a tart
.”

“All right.” Steve held onto Mark as if trying to shield him from his mother.

Mark met his mother’s cold gaze. “You never did care for me. Why did you come?”

“Of course
,
I care for you. You are my son.” Leslie muttered something under her breath after.

Mark touched her arm. “What did you say?”

Looking pained, Leslie faced him. “I said, though you’ve never acted like one.”

He felt Steve’s grip tighten on his arm.

Leslie looked back at Harry. “I think it’s time for us to catch our flight.
”

“Yes, Leslie.” Harry lowered his head obediently.

She looked back at Mark. “Don’t be foolish enough to do this again. You claim to be a man
although you have always behaved as if you are a woman
.
If you want to convince me you are a man, a
ct like one.”

“Ouch, Grandma!” Alex
reached for
Mark.

“Goodbye.” Leslie leaned her cheek closer.

Mark kissed it. A brush of his lips. “Goodbye, Mum.”

“Goodbye, Steven.” Leslie nodded to
hi
m. “Give Jackie my best, would you?”
She glanced at Alex. “Alexander, are you ready?”

“Just as soon as Billy gets here.” Alex lowered his head.

Knowing his mother was allowing Alex
to accompany her and Harry in t
he Learjet to fly first to London with her, then on to Rome,
Mark
was grateful, but didn’t comment on it.
Mark watched her leave, Harry holding her arm. He wondered if he’d ever see her again.
Or if he wanted to.

“Here’s your jacket.” Steve hand
ed
it to Mark.

An orderly came to the door with a wheelchair.

“Your chariot awaits,” Alex said, gesturing to it.

Mark sat down on it, sighing tiredly.
Alex put the stuffed bear on Mark’
s lap and Mark was wheeled down the hall.

As he went, he spotted Ad
am speaking to Keith and Carl. W
hen Adam realized Mark was headed his way
,
t
he conversation stopped and Adam
and the two stars
approached Mark.

“Heading home, handsome?”
Keith asked, kissing Mark’s cheek.

“Yes, my love.” Mark reached for him.

Carl kissed Mark’s lips, and said, “We’re here for you. Just call. And if you don’t. We will.”

Mark gave each
of
their hands a squeeze and they left the hallway, walking towards the exit.

Mark looked up at Adam. “Mr. Lewis?”

Adam kissed his lips. “I’m so happy you
’re well enough to go home.
”

“Where’s Jackie?” Mark looked beyond Adam down the hall.

“He’s home. He’ll probably be in touch soon.” Adam asked Steve, “You’re taking him home?”

“Yes.”

Mark looked at Adam’s expression. Adam seemed angry at Steve, or at the minimum, annoyed. Mark had no idea what had happened since he had been out of it.

“Where’s Billy?” Adam asked.

“Getting his truck. We’re going to follow Grandma to the airport so we can say goodbye
.” Alex tilted his head to the hospital exit. “I have to go
.
Gotta get back to Rome now that Dad’s okay.
And keeping Grandma waiting?
”
Alex rolled his eyes comically. “I’d never hear the end of it.”

Mark kept feeling odd vibes coming from everyone, especially Adam.

“
So, Billy
is on his own again
?
” Adam asked.

“Yup,
back to Skype sex.”

Steve cleared his throat. “I’ll
…
I’ll get the car.”

“Steven, take this bear with you. Okay?” Mark handed him Praline.

He
did, and
left through the automated doors.

Mark looked up at the orderly. “Can you wheel me out so I may leave?”

“Certainly.” The man continued to move Mark towards the doors of the hospital.

Mark was surprised to see cameramen and two anchors from celebrity gossip rags lingering.

“Shit,” Alex said.

“No worries, love.” Mark didn’t care.

The orderly wheeled Mark out and Billy’s pickup truck was waiting.

Mark stood from the wheelchair and thanked the man for his help. Immediately Mark was approached
by
men with microphones and cameras.

Alex touched his father. “Don’t do anything else to yourself, okay?” he whispered, hugging his father and kissing him. “Call me every day.”

“All right, my lovely.” Mark hugged him tight and kissed him.
“Break a leg
…
my amazing star.”

Billy exited the truck and immediately turned into a bodyguard, backing the paparazzi up and growling at them.

Alex waved at Mark and threw him a kiss.

Mark waved back, seeing
h
is son climb into the truck among a flurry of photographers and the truck pull away.

Before Steve’s car showed up, Mark moved Adam back into the hospital entrance, where the cameras and microphones could not follow
,
and asked him, “What the hell bloody happened whilst I was unconscious?”

“Nothing.”

Mark didn’t believe it for a moment. “Do
…
do you all know about Billy and…”

Adam, looking calm, nodded.

“
Does
Alexander?”
Mark’s eyes burned with tears.

“Yes. Billy confessed. Alex is fine. Please. Don’t upset yourself.”

“Alex is fine?” Mark felt weak and Adam gripped his arm. “And
…
and Steven? And Jackie?”

“Don’t worry
about it
. They both know how you are with uniforms.”

“He
…
Billy told them?” Mark was terrified
.

“Mark.” Adam looked outside and then said quietly, “All is forgiven. They lov
e you. Do not, I repeat, do not
worry
yourself
over this. It was a moment of weakness on your part.”

Mark shook his head. “No. I said no. I begged Billy not to. He was so pent up. He…”

Adam’s calm expression changed drastically. “He what?”

“Never mind. The end result is the same, Adam, love.” Mark looked out of the entrance and could see Steve look at him from where he sat behind the wheel of the Mercedes.

“He forced you? You said no to Billy and he fucked you anyway?”

“It wasn’t rape, Adam. Don’t look at me that way.”

“But
…
you said no.”

“My mouth said no. My cock was all in favor.”

“Son of a bitch!”

“Adam!” Mark gripped him. “I tell you these things in strict confidence. You alone.”

Adam glanced outside.

Mark did
,
too. He could see Steve getting out of the car.

“Don’t breathe a word to Steven. Adam, please. He would hate Billy. Don’t.”

“I can’t believe any of this!” Adam
appeared distraught.

“I shouldn’t lay this on you. I’m sorry. Forgive me, Adam. You, out of all of us, are the sensible one. The calm one.” Mark held him. “And I love you for it. Please. Keep everyone civil, loving. Don’t let this mess between Billy and
me
tear us apart.” Mark began to get emotional. “I love you all. So much. If anything I have done creates division between any of us, I shall never forgive myself.”

“Fuck!” Adam held Mark tighter.

Steve asked, “Uh
…
Are
we going?”

Mark leaned back and held Adam’s jaw, making sure Adam read his expression. “Do you understand, my love?”

Adam sounded as if he were swallowing a sob of anguish down his throat.

“What happened just now?”
Steve asked.

“Nothing, Steven.” Mark released his embrace from Adam.

Steve gave Adam a suspicious look. “What did you tell him?”

Mark tilted his head. “Did you ask Adam, what did
he
tell
me
?” Mark pointed to his chest.

Adam moved to the automatic doors so they opened. As he left he said, “I can’t deal with this.”

Mark was completely baffled. “Steven?”

Steve held Mark around his waist and tried
to
shield him from
the flashes of cameras that blinded them.

“Mark! Rumor was you took an overdose of pills. Any truth to the rumor? Are you checking into rehab?”

“Get away from us,” Steve snarled and opened the car door for Mark, shutting it for him.

Mark covered his face with his hand
s
as the cameras came right up to his window, invasive and aggressive as usual.

Steve sat beside him and got them away from the media as quickly as he could.

Once he did, Mark looked at Steve’s profile as he drove them home. “Steven.”

“What?”

“What don’t I know?”

“I need to get you home.
You have to
let the cologne company know
so they can
postpone your shoot and
you have to eat—”

“Steven.”

A loud exhale came from Steve. “I assume Adam told you just now.”

Mark fought to think about what Adam could have said to make Steve defensive. So, he played along. “Yes. Adam tells me everything
, o
f course.”

Steve’s grip tightened on the steering wheel and his jaw twitched as if he were clenching his teeth.

Mark gaped at him and had no idea what on earth Steve was holding back.

“Steve?”