Second Chances (95 page)

They were quiet for a bit then.  Sarah was trying hard to picture what this house must be like when Brian interrupted her thoughts.  “Um,” he began tentatively, “I don’t know how to tell you this.”  She turned to face him expectantly.  “We, uh, we have to share a room.”  He braced himself for a response.

“Okay,” she said slowly.

“And,” he finished, “There’s only one bed.”  He watched Sarah for a reaction, but she seemed to be thinking.  “So, I thought either we could share the bed, with Chloe on the cot, or I could take the cot and you and Chloe could have the bed.”

Sarah smiled at this.  He was so sensitive to her needs.  “How about we play it by ear?” She suggested. 
Depending on how his mother is, he may need me to hold him this trip,
she thought.

By one-thirty they had pulled up to
a huge pale yellow stucco home nearly hidden behind cypress trees and a matching fence with a wrought iron gate.  Sarah was awed by the exterior and could only imagine what it must be like inside.  “What did your parents do before retirement?”  She asked stunned.

He laughed.  “Let’s just say they invested wisely,” he replied.        

The driveway was packed with cars.  Everyone had been alerted to their arrival by the intercom at the gate, and so about fifteen individuals were assembled at the door as they walked in.  Everyone freely gave warm hugs and boisterous welcomes.  If it hadn’t been for the circumstances of their visit, Sarah would have thought of it as any other family reunion. 

Chloe was introduced and sent out to play with a gaggle of children.  There was a natural stone pool out back, surrounded by flagstone patios and grassy areas.  The children had a huge swing set and tree house.  They also had the largest sandbox ever, with its own water supply in the beach and ocean.   

The view nearly took Sarah’s breath away when she was finally led out back by Brian.  They had just deposited their bags in the room they would share.  The decor was simple and tasteful, the bed queen sized and luxurious.  A cot a few feet away from it was already made up to accommodate one of them.  Sarah had sized up Brian and felt that it might be a rather uncomfortable fit for him. 
We’ll see,
she reminded herself.

From the second floor deck it appeared as though they could see forever.  Most importantly, she could see Chloe, who was currently busying herself with making friends.  The little girl caught sight of her mother, smiled and returned Sarah’s wave with a slight shy one.  “She’s ashamed of me already,” Sarah commented.

Brian merely threw a friendly arm around her.  “Come meet my mom,” he said, pulling her down the stairs to the chaise lounger set up next to the pool.  An umbrella was planted next to it to provide shade, and a small wooden table littered with tissues, pill bottles, and a glass with a bendy straw, held virtually everything she would need within arm’s reach.

Mrs. Waite was petite to begin with, but her illness served to make her appear frail, and older than her actual age.  She wore a navy blue bandana over her bare scalp, and a white tank top and faded denim shorts completed her attire.  The minute Mrs. Waite looked at Sarah it became apparent where Brian’s beautiful expressive eyes came from.

“I’m so pleased to meet you,” Mrs. Waite said quietly.  “Brian told me he had invited a close friend to come with him.  Let me have a look at you.”  She stared Sarah up and down in a way that made her vaguely uncomfortable.  Her own mother had a similar habit, so it wasn’t a completely unusual experience.  “Come closer, dear,” Mrs. Waite said lovingly.  She gazed deeply into Sarah’s eyes, took her hands and studied them.  All the while Brian stood next to her and said nothing.

“Well,” she said after completing her inspection.  “You are on the right path.  Your life will only get better.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Sarah said with a chuckle.  “I don’t know how much Brian has told you...”

“Brian has said nothing to me,” Mrs. Waite interrupted.  “I make my own judgments.”

Sarah tipped her head to one side.  She didn’t know how to respond, the only word to escape her lips was, “oh.”

“I know,” Mrs. Waite concluded with a slight smile, “you think these are the ramblings of a dying woman.”  She waved her hand as though to dismiss that notion.  “I have always seen.  Now is your time of self-discovery.  Take your time.  It will all turn out in the end.” 

Sarah was confused.  She wanted to continue talking to this woman who in so many ways reminded her of her own mother, but they were interrupted by the arrival of more family members.  She would ask Brian about all of this later, she decided.

And so the day passed in a steady stream of introductions as family came and went.  The house was reorganized to accommodate the weeklong event.  The dining room, for example, was turned into a buffet.  People brought dishes to share, men took turns cooking food on the grill, and the result was that everyone was fed without it becoming a burden or responsibility for any one person.

Eventually Sarah had to escape to their room.  Brian came looking for her, only to find her sitting on the bed weeping.  He had intended to merely peek in on her, but instead, the moment he saw her tears he came rushing through the door, shoving it closed behind him.  He climbed onto the bed next to her and crushed her to him. 

“Sarah, what’s wrong?”  He asked concerned.

She looked up at him with eyes flooding over and murmured, “So much love.”  He held her to him a moment longer so she could collect herself.  Sarah sniffled and apologized.  He pushed her back so that he could lovingly wipe away her tears with a half-smile.  “Brian, do you feel it?”  She asked.  “Do you see it?” 

“What?  Feel what?  See what?”  He was confused.

She took his hand, pulling him from the bed, and led him over to the window.  “Look,” she said pointing, still holding his hand.

Brian was distracted, utterly aware of their closeness.  Slowly, he looked in the direction she had indicated.  His mother was resting in the chaise.  Family members, some sitting, some standing, all of them smiling, surrounded her.  They were full of life, and love.

“There is so much love here,” Sarah explained.  “There is so much emotion.  I couldn’t take it anymore.  I just
felt
so much.  I thought I would burst from it all.”

Brian hugged her close.  “It’s always like this.  My parents raised us to always feel free to express our emotions, to embrace life, and freely give love.  These are values they hold dear.”  He continued to hold her, but ventured a glance to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable.  Content with what he saw, he spoke again, “When she told me she was dying, I asked if she was afraid.  I mean, I was terrified.  I couldn’t imagine our family without her.  But she told me she wasn’t upset one bit.  She admitted to having some regrets, like not seeing me happily “mated for life,” not getting to hold my children, or watching the grandkids graduate, that type of thing.”   He paused as Sarah turned to face him, listening intently.

“She said she’s not afraid of death because she wasn’t afraid to live.  She lived a life free of regrets and encouraged me to do the same.  My mother is incredible.  Even as she lies dying she serves as an example and a source of inspiration for the entire family.”

Sarah sighed contentedly.  “I wish I had a chance to get to know her better.  She’s amazing.  Your entire family is amazing.  Thank you for letting me be a part of it for a little while.”  She frowned and looked down again.

“What is it?”  He queried.

“I just want to do something special for her, for all of you,” Sarah said earnestly.

Genuinely intrigued, Brian tilted his head to one side as he asked, “Like what?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’ll let you know.  I’ve got a week to figure it out, right?”  She wore a pensive expression as she wandered toward the bedroom door.

“That’s right,” he said wistfully.  “Come on.  Let’s get back to the family.”

They went downstairs to join everyone.  As they did, Sarah heard snippets of conversation.  Everywhere she turned, individuals were talking about what a wonderful woman Mrs. Waite was, or how she had inspired them.  Brian shook his head.  “Too bad she’s way out there missing all these compliments, huh?”  He meant it as a comment on the situation, but for Sarah it became her brainstorm.

“I know what to do!” She exclaimed excitedly.  “We have to call a family meeting tonight after your mother goes to bed.”

The rest of the evening Sarah was bursting in anticipation.  Mrs. Waite reluctantly pulled herself away from the gathering around nine that night.  She was tired and held on as long as she could.  Brian had spent the afternoon quietly spreading news of the planned meeting.  At last, they were all gathered in the family room.

“The floor is yours, Sarah,” Brian announced.

Sarah flushed.  “Come on,” she hissed, “this is your family.  I’m an outsider.  You tell them.”

He shook his head resolutely.  “This is your idea, you share it.”  He pushed her forward and folded his arms across his chest.

Sarah groaned and stood before a room of at least thirty expectant faces.  She was used to speaking before crowds of strangers, but for some reason she was nervous.  She certainly didn’t want to embarrass Brian in any way, and for reasons she couldn’t even pretend to understand, she really cared whether or not his family liked her.  “Hi, I’m Sarah,” she began weakly.  “I felt compelled to do something for Mrs. Waite.  She has an amazing spirit.  And I was hoping you might all want to help me out with this.”  She looked around the room.  They were waiting anxiously for her to disclose her plan.

“You see,” she continued.  “Mrs. Waite is in a pretty special position, and so are all of you.  Many people have no idea when their time will come to leave this earth, so they don’t have a chance to share their feelings with their loved ones or see what miracles they have worked with their time.”  She swallowed nervously.  “Because we know her time is short, I propose we hold an Irish Wake for her this Friday.”

“What’s that?”  A voice sounded from the back of the room.

“I’m glad you asked,” Sarah said taking a deep calming breath.  “It is sort of like a memorial service, only the person being memorialized gets to be there and participate.  Your mother would have the opportunity to hear all the wonderful things that you think of her and appreciate her for.”  People throughout the room were beginning to smile.  “You could sit back and tell stories, plant a tree, share your thoughts and feelings.  It can be whatever you make it, but mostly it will be something special for all of you, a lasting memory.”

There were murmurings throughout the room, but no one had addressed the group.  “Well, I like it,” Brian announced.  He walked over to Sarah, gave her a hug and said, “Thank you for sharing this idea with us.” He turned to the room.  “Well, what do you think?”

The room erupted.  Everyone had an idea.  Brian took over, and Sarah took notes.  By midnight, everyone was assigned a task.  Hotel rooms were booked.  Friends and former neighbors were called.  Anyone who had known Mrs. Waite was invited.  The menu was planned.  A shopping list was created.   And in a heartbeat, Sarah had gone from guest to integral member of the family.

By the time they dropped into bed that night, Sarah could barely move.  “Oh, my shoulders,” she moaned.  “I must have been really tense.”