Secrets (21 page)

When AJ shrugged, I didn’t know what to think.  “I suppose if Mr. Tanaka is able to act in time.  My dad hasn’t told him why he’s been pressing things along so urgently, but we’re basically at a standstill waiting for him to make a decision.”

Anger subsiding, I sat beside AJ on his bed.

“My mother came to me and asked that I take the guys’ daughters o
ut of the house for awhile because they were going stir-crazy.  One of them slipped on a patch of ice and I helped her the rest of the way to the door.  That had to be what someone saw, because, other than that, I didn’t touch either one of them.”

Antonio’s rendition of the story replayed in my head and I felt torn.  My intuition was still going haywire, but I couldn’t be sure that it wasn’t just the adrenaline rush from the argument.  I crossed the room and had AJ’s attention when I sat beside him on the bed.  His eyes shifted back to
staring at the wall in front of us, thinking back over our conversation, I guessed.   When I took his hand in mine, he sighed heavily, squeezing my fingers in his. 

There were so many thoughts racing through my head. 
Did he tell me the truth?  Even if he had, was it the whole truth?  Was there more to this girl?  How dangerous were these people Mr. Hahn owed money?  Would this ‘Mr. Tanaka’ step up to help before things got too out of control?
  I couldn’t focus on any particular way to feel so I chose numbness.  I was glad that AJ decided to finally tell me his family’s secret, but…..I admittedly felt skeptical that he’d revealed all of his
own
.

*****

Two weeks later…

At around midnight
, I was sitting on my nightstand staring out the window at the falling snow.  My mind was still reeling from my conversation with AJ days ago.  Thinking his name made me turn to where he slept soundly in my bed.  After our emotions had died down some, we talked about everything more calmly.  He explained further that his intentions were to maintain as much normalcy in our relationship as possible.  However, what he didn’t realize until we talked is that his attempt to shield me from reality was doing more harm than good.  The ‘
normal’
that he sought was beginning to crumble because of the lies and deceit.  Thankfully, we’d slowly but surely started coming back from it.

With each passing day, we both became
more anxious about Mr. Tanaka making a decision.  AJ tried to hide his feelings, but wasn’t doing as good a job of faking it now that I knew what was going on.  In the meantime, we exchanged room keys just in case.  I wanted him to be able to get in my dorm if he ever needed to hideout here, and I now had his just in case he ever got into any trouble. 

I turned my gaze toward the window again and stared out across the courtyard. 
The parking lot was full and most of the cars were covered in a fresh blanket of snow…except for one.  The headlights of the vehicle were illuminating the trees off in the distance for a few seconds and then everything went dark.  I continued to watch as a tall thin man dressed in all black emerged from the car with his cell pressed to his ear.  On cue, AJ’s phone buzzed in his pocket.  He awoke from a dead-sleep and didn’t even seem to notice me sitting there on the nightstand when he answered.  Through the darkness, I watched his expression transition. 

“
Gimme a sec,” was all he said before hanging up.  My eyes shifted back to the man outside who’d shoved his phone back inside the pocket of his knee-length black coat.  The bed creaked when AJ pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed.  He left on his black shorts and just grabbed his hoodie and gym shoes before grabbing the door knob. 

“Wait!  Who was that?  Where’re you going?”

Groggy, he wiped his eyes.  “Louis has something for me from my father.  I won’t know what it is until I go down there and talk to him.”

Louis
.  I hated him the most out of all of Mr. Hahn’s henchmen, for lack of a better term.  He was the newest addition to the fleet.  I’d become accustomed to him and Vick lurking around corners and following AJ and I everywhere we went.  Still, I didn’t like this one.

I nodded and let AJ go without questioning him further.

From my window, I watched him meet the Louis down the walkway.  AJ stood there with his arms folded, listening to whatever message Mr. Hahn had passed along.   About thirty seconds later, Louis handed AJ a large envelope and they exchanged a few more words.  After that, Louis returned to the black vehicle and drove off into the night and AJ came back inside.  I could hear his heavy footsteps approaching.

             
“Are you okay?”  I asked when he burst back into my room carrying the same large envelope I’d seen Louis give him a short while ago.  Without any explanation, AJ walked in, slamming the door violently behind him.

“What’s going on?”

              He opened the envelope and emptied the contents onto my bed.  I gasped as bundles of money tumbled out; I couldn’t close my mouth.

             
“My father’s actually
paying
me to leave Charleston and come home,” AJ said flatly.  We both stood there staring at the cash.  “He says it’s only until things calm down again, but…”  He paused and shook his head.  “There’s gotta be about fifty or sixty grand here.”

I stared in disbelief, wondering what
’d transpired to cause Mr. Hahn to send such an urgent message in the middle of the night like this.              My heart thudded against my ribcage, thinking things that I’d been fighting against for the past couple weeks, since finding out that AJ was in danger.

“
AJ…maybe you-“

“I’m not going anywhere,” he replied before I could even finish my sentence.  “Mr. Tanaka’s
gonna have his answer any day now…and all I have to do is wait,” AJ said, trying to convince
himself
and me at the same time.  “This is gonna work out.  It has to,” he added.

             
Confusion crossed my face as I questioned AJ’s defiance.  “I don’t think your dad would give you that kind of money if he didn’t have good reason to think that you were in some sort of trouble.”

             
“I won’t leave without you.”

             
“Then I’ll come
too!
” I insisted.  “I can transfer to the community college for a while and maybe reenroll here when –“

He shook his head sternly. 
“This isn’t your problem, Sam!  And I’m not gonna let you change your plans because of this.  There’s nothing else to talk about,” he stated, and sat on the edge of my bed frustrated.  With him cutting me off at every turn, I sat beside him and gently stroked his back.

             
“Is there anything I can do?”  I asked desperately.

             
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it once, focusing his eyes on my ring when he spoke.  “Just promise that you won’t leave me,” he replied softly, leaving me with the impression that I was the one thing holding him together.  I pulled him into my arms and held him close like I knew he needed me to. 

I kissed him the side of his face before looking into his eyes and making him a promise that I had every intention of keeping.  “
I’m not going anywhere. 
Ever…
.”

C
hapte
r
11

AJ

The begging went on for an entire week.  I couldn’t understand how my mother could see the logic behind not leaving my father to head to safety, but didn’t understand why I couldn’t leave Sam.  Having her join me back in Fairfac would’ve been ideal, but I was hell-bent on not letting her leave school.  Not only would her
parents
never forgive me, I’d never forgive
myself
.  And seeing as how I refused to leave without her, waiting for Mr. Tanaka’s decision was my only option. 

“Since I can’t talk any sense into you, you’re father insists on coming there.”

I cursed under my breath which my mother ignored under the circumstances.  “For what?”

“I don’t think you under
stand the severity of the situation!”

That’s where she was wrong.  I
did
understand.  Just as a precaution, Sam and I had opted to stay in as much as possible to avoid crowds.  However, that was as big a sacrifice as I was willing to make. 

Knowing that I wouldn’t bend, my mother sighed into the phone.  “Well…it’s out of my hands.  As I said before, your father will be there to discuss matters with you further.”

With that, she ended the call.

If my father was on his way to Charleston, Sam would appreciate a head’s up.  She wouldn’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when he showed up and I couldn’t blam
e her.

When she answered
my call, I’d already prepared myself for the disappointment I was sure to detect in her tone.

“Hello?”

“Hey…busy?”  I asked, knowing that even if she was, she would say she wasn’t so we could talk.

“Just watching some lame TV
show because nothing else’s on.  What’s up?”

I hated to even bring him up to her.  “Turns out my dad’s
gonna be here sometime tonight.  Just thought I’d give you a fair warning.”

She sighed into the phone.  “That sucks, but I get it.  Is everything
okay, or…”

“Everything’s fine.  My mother’s just still not satisfied with me
staying here.  Naturally, she’s using my father to try to force me into submission.”  The thought of him coming here to bully me pissed me the hell off.

Sam was quiet.

“What is it?”  I asked.

“
I’m really starting to think you should listen, AJ.”

I shook my head in protest although she couldn’t see me.  “Not happening.  I
won’t be the cause of you dropping out.”

“
I’m not dropping out!  I already told you I’d just go to a local school until we could come back here…together,” she said desperately.

Her sentence trailed off and I heard the fear in her voice that she’d so bravely fought against since finding out the truth about my life.  She wasn’t supposed to have to worry about me or be contemplating dropping out of school for me.

“AJ, please…I’m scared for you,” she admitted, her voice shaking when she did.

It wasn’t until that very moment that
I actually considered going home a real option.  I sat there listening to the woman I love sniffing back tears through the phone and it broke my heart.  This was my fault.  No, I didn’t want things to go this way, but at that moment, I felt like telling her everything had been just as big a mistake as I thought it would be.

“Just say that you’ll really listen to what your father has to say tonight and you’ll think about it.”

For Sam to be taking my father’s side on this was eye-opening.  I stared at the wall in disbelief that not even a full month after finally getting to Charleston with Sam…I was thinking about packing up and leaving again. 

*****

Sam

Terrell
sat in the desk chair patiently while I paced back and forth between
my
bed and Deanna’s.  The last time I talked to AJ at around eight o’clock, his father had just called to say that he’d nearly made it and should be here by no later than 9:30.  For whatever reason, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  To make matters worse, AJ wasn’t answering my phone calls.

“And you can’t go over there, why?”  Terrell asked for the fifth or sixth time.

I sighed.  “Because his dad is probably there by now, and I already told you our history.  That’d just be a bad idea.”

Terrell nodded.  “Well…
want me to go?”

I looked at Terrell and deliberated.  “No…okay, yes…I don’t know.  I don’t want it to seem like I’m checking up on him.”
  Which was true, but I still had a bad feeling that just kept persisting.

Shaking his head at my indecisiveness, Terrell sat quietly.

“Okay…go ahead,” I finally decided.

Without hesitation, Terrell stood to his feet and headed for my door just as his phone rang.

“Hang on one sec,” he said to me just before answering the call.  “You’re on your way up
now
?”  He asked.

That
had to be Maisha, and it didn’t make sense for Terrell to have her waiting here while he ran over to AJ’s when I could just go for myself.  When he ended the call I was already pulling on my boots.

“
I said I’d go; it’s not a big deal.  You can just keep Maisha company while I run over there right quick,” he offered.

“I can handle it
.  If I hear him and his dad talking, I’ll come back.  I just need to make sure he’s ok.”

Terrell would never understand why I was so concerned without kno
wing what I knew about AJ’s current situation.  When he saw that I was determined to do this on my own, he backed off.

“Well…just call and let me know everything’s cool when you get back.”

I agreed and then walked out with my keys and phone in hand.  Trying AJ one last time, I crossed the courtyard headed for his room.  When the phone continued to ring, my nerves got the best of me and I picked up the pace.  My boots shuffled over the tile in his hallway after I climbed the stairs to his floor.  When I reached his door, I listened first just like I planned to do.  Hearing nothing inside, I knocked and waited. 

On the other side of the threshold
I could hear a bed creak and then the faint sound of someone shuffling around inside the room.  I pressed my ear to the door again; someone was definitely inside.  I knocked again and called AJ’s name.  No answer.  That strange feeling returned to the pit of my stomach and the first thought that came to mind was that AJ was in fact inside and he was in trouble.  The phone calls from his mother pleading with him to leave were at the forefront of my mind.  Something had to be wrong.  I didn’t even consider that the noise inside could’ve come from AJ’s roommate.  If it had, I’d apologize for jumping the gun later.  However, at that moment, I feared that my worst fears were being realized and I panicked.  After knocking again with no answer, I removed AJ’s key from my pocket and inserted it, unsure of what I’d actually do if someone was on the other side of that door with a gun or a knife…all I knew was that I had to do something.

When I turned the knob time slowed to a crawl and my heart stopped cold in my chest.  T
he first thing I heard was an alarmed gasp coming from the direction of AJ’s bed.  Next, my eyes tried to register what I was seeing – a girl….a
half-naked
girl…a half-naked
Asian
girl, hustling to get her jeans fastened.  The covers were pulled back and I knew that she’d just climbed out of AJ’s bed.  Antonio’s warning came to mind and I couldn’t catch my breath. 
No….no….this has to be the wrong room,
I thought to myself.  I didn’t care that AJ’s key had just worked in the lock; I checked the number above the threshold anyway, glancing back down once I’d gotten confirmation.  This
was
his room, but…

The girl kept her eyes nervously glued to my face as she snatched her t-shirt over her bare breasts
.  I felt my head beginning to swim. 
Antonio was RIGHT?  This whole story about AJ’s father coming up tonight was nothing more than a ploy to make sure I didn’t come by his room tonight?
  At the realization that this scheme almost worked, every single rational thought that tried to fight through, was quickly dismissed from my head; all I wanted was to hurt this girl.  As I crossed the room with my mind set on causing whoever she was severe bodily harm, the door to the bathroom swung open and AJ stood there, still wet from the shower, clothed in only a towel.  The girl quickly gathered her bra and panties from the floor while AJ looked on in shock.

“Reina…what the
hell
?!?”  He said to the girl, breathing heavily.  She stared at him expressionless and shaking.

“
Your dad, huh?”  I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.  “I can’t……I can’t believe I actually fell for that!”  The cynical laugh that I let out was the calm before the storm, and I think AJ knew it too.  “This was all just another one of your lies.”

AJ
pushed the girl aside and rushed toward me.  “Sam, I swear I have no idea what she’s doing here!”  He looked around the room with his mouth open, playing the dumb and innocent role better than I would’ve known he was capable of.  Clearly, he’s a more capable liar than I realized.

I
shrugged AJ’s hands off of me with tears flowing from my eyes like a river.  This wasn’t right.  I had to have gotten something wrong somewhere.  While I tried to convince myself that AJ wasn’t sacrificing everything we’d built together…I looked back and forth between the two of them and let the overwhelming evidence sink in.

“
I should’ve listened,” I breathed in between sobs.  “I should’ve listened.” 

“Sam, no….
no, no, no, this isn’t what it looks like,” AJ insisted, tugging on a pair of jeans beneath his towel while I backed out of his room. 

“Do you ever stop lying!?
!?”  I screamed.  “I was actually on your side!  I came over here thinking you were hurt or something, but…”  I gestured toward the girl and shook my head.  I couldn’t even finish my sentence.  The thought entered my head that I’d been sharing him with her, and God knows who else, for God knows how long.  All that time I thought that what we had was different
.  How stupid could I have been?

“Sam, please –“

“I’m done, AJ…
DONE!!”
  I screamed.  He grabbed my arm and I whirled around to shove him away.  Completely ignoring my attempt to distance myself, he followed me out into the hallway.

“
If you’ve never believed me on
anything
before, believe me on this; I don’t know what she’s doing here!” He said desperately.

“
Get your hands off me,” I hissed when he tried to grab my arm again as I stormed down the first flight of stairs. 

E
very dark emotion you can think of emerged from the shadows of my mind – anger, fear ,hatred, disgust, disappointment, betrayal, sadness, and pain, just to name a few.  My face was soaked with tears as my mind rewound our entire year together, and I realized that it’d all been for nothing.  All of it.  The sacrifices.  The loss.  All of it.  I couldn’t make sense of anything. 
Why would he go through the trouble of following me here, buying me this ring, the tattoo?  Maybe he just thought he could have his cake and eat it too.  Listen to me trying to rationalize it…

“Sam, wait!”

I ignored his plea.
  “Don’t ever call me again.  Don’t come to my room.  Just leave me
alone
!”  I couldn’t focus on any of the faces I passed.  Pushing past the gathering crowd, I stormed out of AJ’s building.

He’d been sleeping with that girl
behind my back – holding her, touching her, kissing her….  The idea of it sickened me and I wanted to erase my memory of him completely. 
Does he lie and tell her that he loves her, too?  When we make love is he thinking about her?
  I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated him at that very moment.  My entire world came crashing down that night and AJ was at fault. 

Without having to turn around, I knew that t
he footsteps behind me were AJ’s. Finally catching up to me, he wrapped his bare arms around my body from behind, preventing me from running away.  My breath crystallized in the cold winter air as I fought against him as hard as I could.  He wouldn’t budge.  People were watching us curiously as we struggled with one another; me trying to get away and him trying with all his might to keep me there.

“Just let me go
,” I yelled in between sobs. “I can’t believe he was right about you!” 

“Who?
  Sam, I haven’t
done
anything!”

I ignored his plea, now thoroughly convinced that every word that ever left his mouth was a lie.

“I know that
looked
bad, but I had
no
idea she was in my room!  You found out before I did!  I got in the shower and the next thing I know, the two of you are in my room,” he explained.  “Sam, I swear…”

I shook my head wildly, still not believing what I’d seen.
  AJ turned me around and made me face him again only to lower his head at the sight of my tears. 

“
AJ, just…stop,” I begged.  “There’s nothing you can say to change my mind.  I know what I saw, and now I know why you didn’t tell me about her and her family staying at your house over break.  That
is
the same girl, right?”

He didn’t answer, which was a ‘yes’ as far as I was concerned.

“You kept that a secret for a reason.  If someone hadn’t seen you out with her, you never would’ve even told me
that
much!”  He couldn’t look me in my eye and I took that as a sign that he realized that his half-truths and secrets had finally caught up to him.  “I’m done,” I said firmly, and I meant it. 

“Sam, please-“

“AJ…it’s over,” I said once more.  It absolutely broke my heart to think of everything we could’ve had; however…I wasn’t the one who gave all that up.  My eyes slipped away from his when a tear stream down his face.  My stomach balled into a knot that almost made me double over.  Regardless of what he’d done, or how hurt I was, that was too much for me to watch.  I’d only seen him cry one other time and that was in the hospital when we received the life-changing news from the doctor after my accident.  Feeling myself getting ready to fall apart, I slipped his ring off my finger, placed it in his hand, and then walked away.

L
eaving him standing there in the middle of the courtyard alone, it hit me that this was it – the end.  My eyes watered as I let that realization settle in on my heart.  I pushed through the doors of my dorm and ignored the onlookers as I made that long walk up the stairs to my room. 

I almost hated myself for letting my happiness be so dependent
on him.  He didn’t deserve to rule over my heart the way he did and I felt so naïve for being fooled into thinking that he did.

A couple hours later
Terrell, and Maisha showed up at my door, banging loudly.  When I answered with red eyes and tear stained cheeks, Maisha embraced me. 

“What happene
d?  One of my boys said he saw you and AJ arguing outside.  You alright?” Terrell inquired.  Maisha slapped his arm when he bombarded me with questions

“Whatever happened, if you don’t feel like talking
about it, you don’t have to,” Maisha added.  I shook my head and she understood.  I left them standing in the doorway and went back to lie in my bed.  They both came in and closed the door.

“J
ust tell me if I need to set somebody straight,” Terrell inquired.  “I mean…I like AJ and all, but…”

“S
hut up!  Let her breathe!”  Maisha snapped.

“I’
m just sayin’!”

“He’s cheating on m
e,” I blurted.  “I don’t know how long he’s been seeing her, but they’re definitely messing around.”

Terrell’s face reflected his confusion.  “What? 
With who?”

I shook my head with a sigh as I envisioned her face.  “I heard him call her Reina.  I don’t know much else.”

Terrell took a seat across from me on Deanna’s bed.  “She go here?”

My blank stare was focused on the ceiling.  “No.  I don’t know
where
she came from.  All I know is AJ told me his dad was coming, which he knew was probably the only thing he could say that would ensure that I’d stay away for the night.” 
Wow….he got me good
.  “However, when I got there,” I sighed.  “…I walk in and found her rushing to put her clothes on, just getting out of his bed.”

Maisha put her head down, but Terrell started listening more intently, the scowl on his face deepening by the second.  “And where was AJ?”