Self Destruct (12 page)

Rebecca

A few days later I woke up to see Aiden leaning on his elbow smiling down at me.  “Mornin’ sleepy head.”  I stretched, and watched his hooded eyes follow my movements.  “I love when you do that,” he said, and ran a finger up and down my arm.  “Naughty boy.”  “I can’t help where my thoughts go when you thrust your breasts in my face.”

I rolled over on top of him and nuzzled his neck.  I reached down and stroked him teasingly.
  “This reminds me of something,” I murmured.  He grunted incoherently.  I think it was a question. 

“I’ve been o
n the pill for over a month now,” I said nuzzling under his ear.  He held me tight against his body.  “Does that mean that we don’t have to use condoms anymore?” 

“Not if you don’
t want to,” I said, running my fingers through his soft blonde hair.  “Are you kidding me?  Why would I want to keep using them?  I think this calls for celebration sex,” he suggested. 

He slid his hands across my ass and up my shirt.
  My breath caught. “What is celebration sex?” I asked breathlessly.  His smile turned devilish. “Come here and let me show you.”

“Give me a couple of minutes first,” I said and excused myself to the bathroom.  After I took care of all of my immediate needs, and brushed my teeth, I started the shower.  I stood under the nozzle and let the warm spray run down my body.  The shower door opened and I felt Aiden’s rough hands slide down my arms and wrap around my stomach.

I fought the urge to tremble, or just melt into a puddle at his feet.  I wondered if the overwhelming sensations he brought out in me would ever diminish.  I hoped not. 

“I got tired of waiting for you,” Aiden’s voice rumbled in my ear.  His hands cupped my bre
asts and I gasped.  He chuckled. “Red, I’m just getting started.” 

“Aiden I need…”
I felt him smile against my neck.  “Me Red.  You need me.”  I nodded, unable to speak since one of his hands had ventured lower and was in the process of teasing me.  He turned me around, and backed me to the wall.  I wrapped one of my legs around his hips and he pushed into me hard.

I let out one long satisfied groan.  Aiden’s breath hitched.  He pulled out and slammed back in quickly.  “Is this…are you…oh god,” he groaned.  “Perfect, it’s perfect don’t stop,” I begged.  “Too good…not going to last long.”  “Me either.  I love you Aiden.”  I felt the tremors begin and was vaguely aware of myself chanting his name over and over again.  Aiden shouted my name, then stilled holding me tight. 

“Shit.  That was fucking amazing.  I love you so much.  I don’t want to wait a year to ask you.  Marry me.  We’ll set a date for whenever you want just agree to marry me now.” 

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” I agreed eagerly.  “Dammit, I can’t believe I just proposed in the shower.”  I giggled.
“It worked though.” 

Aiden smiled showing off his nearly perfect teeth.  Nearly perfect since the right tooth near his canine was a tiny bit crooked.  It
was barely noticeable.  And yeah, I spent a ton of time studying everything about him.  But I found that tiny imperfection sexy as Hell. 

“Can I give you your ring now, or should I plan something special?”
he asked excited. “You have a ring already?  I thought, uhm, I thought that this was a spontaneous proposal,” I said with a stupid grin on my face. 

Aiden started
nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about it for…well about five minutes after I met you. I knew for sure when I asked you to move in here.  The things that Toni said made so much sense.  Honestly, I asked you to move in because I was afraid you would say no if I asked you to marry me.”

“Can I put clothes on first?” I teased.  “Do you have to?” Aiden
complained.  I turned off the water and reached out for a towel.  “Which story would you rather tell our kids someday?  That you proposed after doing me in the shower, or any story that involves us wearing clothes?” I asked.

Aiden had a glazed, but content look on his face.  I waved my hand in front of his face.  “Sorry, I was thinking about what you said.  I like it, ‘our kids’.  I think we should practice.”  His smile turned wicked
, and he raised his eyebrows.  “You are a bad boy,” I said and playfully swatted him. 

We ended up driving out t
o People’s Pond, a small lake and popular hang out for everyone in Ellensburg.  We walked around some of the trails that took us behind the more popular area of the lake, and sat on a blanket he carried with us. 

“I know you’ve already said yes, but humor me anyway.”  Aiden seemed nervous, and it was totally cute since I
had
already said yes. 

He got down on one knee, which seemed really uncomfortable because the ground under the blanket was rocky, but he was going all out.
“I had this designed especially for you.  I love you Becca, before you my life was hopeless.  Before you I only thought about doing what ever I could to forget, the past, the future, everything.  Now I want to
feel
everything.  Each moment with you is better than the one before it.  Marry me.  I promise to stand by you through all that life throws at us.”

M
y eyes filled with happy tears.  I knew what was coming, but his words still surprised me.  "You already know my answer, but I'll say it again anyway.  Yes,” I said enthusiastically. 

He opened a small, black velvet
box.  “Oh my god Aiden, that is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," I shrieked.  “I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I had a local jeweler make it.  I couldn’t see putting something on you that wasn’t red.”  He took out the ring and slid it on my finger.

Aiden turned serious.  “I think
it's time I met your family.”  I took a shaky breath.  “We can’t get married if you won’t even introduce me to your family,” Aiden stated frustrated. 

“Did you ever think it’s them I don’t want to introduce to you?  I’m not worried about what they are going
to think about you Aiden.  You are amazing.  I’m worried about what you might think about me after you’ve met them?” I said tensely.

He wrapped me in his arms.  “My opinion of you isn’t going to change.”  “I don’t see how it won’t.  It’s hard for me to keep a good opinion of me when I vis
it them,” I said dejectedly.

“Unless you are planning on cutting them out o
f your life I want to meet them,” Aiden insisted.  “You’re right.  I’ll call them and see if we can go this weekend.  We only have a couple of weeks until school starts.  I need to find a job, and get all of my supplies,” I rambled.

“You don’t have to get a job,” Aiden said stroking my hair.  “Yes I do.  I don’t want you paying for everything, and my grants don
’t cover much,” I asserted.  “I want to take care of you,” he whispered in my ear.  “You do.  So much more than you know,” I reassured him.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.  “I’ll totally chicken out if I don’t do this right now.  Do you mind?”  “No,” he murmured nuzzling my neck.  I pulled my mom’s number out of my contacts and hit send. 

“Hey mom, are you busy this weekend?”  “Not really.  Just some projects around the house,” she responded.  “I was thinking about coming for a visit.  There is someone I want to introduce you to,” I told her reluctantly. 

“This must be serious. You’ve never brought a guy home before.  This is a guy right?”
she asked. “Yes mom.  I’m not a lesbian if that is what you are asking,” I spit out.  “Well I didn’t know for sure.  That seems to be what college kids do now days.  Plus with your history I thought it was a possibility,” she said condescendingly.

My history, not what happened to me.  “Is this weekend good or not?” I
asked through clenched teeth.  “Sure this weekend works, but you’ll both have to stay in the guest room because I’ve turned your room into a craft room,” she informed me.  Of course she did.  Why would she want to make sure I had a place to stay?  “No problem, I prefer it that way anyway.”  I hung up without saying goodbye. 

We didn’t really ever say good-bye or I love you.  We just got straight to the point so we could go back to not having to bother with each other.
  I refused to stay home so she could make all of my decisions, and from that moment on she acted as if I didn't exist.  Maybe it was tough love.  Maybe it was a coping mechanism.  Either way our relationship was broken, and I wasn't sure we could fix it.

Next
, I texted my dad a short note saying I would be in town and I would call him when we were on the road to see if he was available.  After my parents divorce my father withdrew from me.  I guess it was his way of handling what he called
the incident
. It didn’t help a fourteen year old who needed her father. 

“Alright, enough of the depressing stuff.  Let’s
go have some fun,” I announced, bouncing with excitement.  Aiden looked at me amused.  “What do you have in mind Red?” 

“Let’s ask our friends out to
dinner,” I suggested.  Aiden gave me his wide crooked smile.  “Great idea. We can tell them right?” he asked excited. “As long as you don’t mind having them know before our families do,” I answered.  Personally I didn’t give a shit.  Telling Toni first seemed right to me. 

“I think I should call my parents.  I want to tell my dad, but I don’t want t
o put him in a bad situation with my mom.  I'm going to tell both of them.  Are you sure you don’t want to tell your parents first?” Aiden asked concerned. 

“No, Toni
and Kate are like sisters to me.  It feels right that they should know before my parents.”  I kissed him softly, “but I want you to tell your parents.  I don’t want your mom to think I’m being spiteful by keeping major news from her.” 

“God you'
re amazing.  She doesn’t deserve your concern, but I love you for thinking of her,” Aiden said.  “I’m not doing it for her.  It’s for you, everything is for you,” I vowed.

He dialed
their number and waited to for his parents to answer.  “Hi mom, is dad home?”  “I see how it is, you don’t want to talk to me now, just jump straight to your father,” his mother complained.  Aiden rolled his eyes.  He knew I could hear both sides of the conversation.  It was very quiet where we were sitting. 

“Actually I wanted to speak to you both at the same time. 
Put me on speaker phone,” he said ignoring her outburst.  “Oh.  Of course darling.  You have good news for us?”  Aiden smiled at me.  “The best news.” 

I heard h
is mother call his father to the phone.  “Oh Frank, Aiden has good news for us.”  I heard his father laugh.  He was probably thinking that she wasn’t going to agree that it was good news. 

“So you di
d it huh?” Frank asked.  “I did,” Aiden said, smiling.  “Congratulations son.  I’m very happy to hear it.”  “What are the two of you going on about?” Nadine asked irritated.  “Mom, I asked Rebecca to marry me and she said yes.”  I gave him a curious look for using my full first name.  He never called me Rebecca.

“Aiden, what have you done?  I thought you understood.  You don’t marry girls like her.  Be serious Aiden, what can she bring to your future?  What standing can your children have in society?
Aiden, what about getting your son back?” Nadine ranted.  “Stop right now Nadine,” Frank growled. 

“I’m not going through this with you again mom.  Get on board with this, or don’t speak to me again.  Those are the only choices I’m going to give you.  And as far as getting my son back, he isn’t my son anymore. 

He has parents, and he's happy.  Sometimes loving someone means doing what is best for them. But, maybe you don’t really love me.  I’ll talk to you later dad.  We'll celebrate the next time you visit." 

“Tell Becca congratulations
for me and that I’m glad to have her join the family.  I’m sorry for this Aid.  I’ll call you soon.”  Frank hung up before Nadine could utter another word.

“I know you
heard what she said.  I’m sorry, but remember I want you.  I love you.  I don’t give a shit what she thinks,” Aiden said while playing with my ring. 

I kissed him passionately
.  I laced my fingers in his sandy blond hair, and pulled his mouth to mine.  He let me lead the kiss, boldly licking his bottom lip until he opened for me.

The kiss was deep and
said everything that I couldn’t find words for.  I was his and he was mine.  And I didn’t give a damn what anyone thought either.  We needed each other, but more than that we wanted each other.  Screw what everyone else thought.

Aiden

I should be freaked out right? 
After all I’m a guy, and I just promised to be with one woman for the rest of my life.  One seriously sexy red head.  Right, not exactly a hardship.

Actually, I was
getting hard thinking about spending forever with her.  Becca was right.  I'm glad I proposed a second time. I was definitely not telling our kids I asked their mother to marry me after fucking her against the wall of the shower. That was the wrong word, but making love implied candles, music, and gentle caresses. 

What happened in the shower was steam, heat, and passion.  It was a primal mating ritual that marked her as mine.  It was only logical to make it official.
Anyway, I think a romantic proposal near the lake sounds much better.

I
was dying to tell someone.  Someone who would celebrate with me and not try and convince me it was a bad idea.  Only one person fit that description, Jeremy.

Me:  Hey Jer, can you get everyone together to go to the Chateau for dinner tonight?

Jeremy:  Everyone as in Toni and myself?  That isn’t a big crowd.

Me:  Yeah the two of you and Kate.  And if you have someone to invite…

Jeremy:  Is that your way of asking if I'm seeing Cameron?

Me:  I guess.
  Are you?

Jeremy:  I am, kind of. 
I like him, but we aren’t rushing anything.  Is it weird talking about this?  You’ve never wanted to know before.

Me:  I’m an ass, sorry.  But since I’m asking you to gather everyone, this is a good excuse to ask him out without really asking him out.

Jeremy:  You're a genius.  Why are we all going out on a Wednesday?

Me:  You’ll find out tonight.

Jeremy:  Shit really?  You didn’t.

Me:  Wo
uld you have a problem with it?

Jeremy:  Fuck no man.  Bec is awesome.  If I weren’t gay I would have taken her while you were sitting on your thumbs being faithful to the bitch.

Me:  Not funny.  I know you're joking, but don’t even think of becoming straight and going after my woman.

Jeremy:  I’m definitely gay, so no worries.  See
, I told you when I came out this would all be ok.

Me:  You’re right, I’m glad you’re gay.  I’ve seen the way even Becca checks you out.  Asshole.

Jeremy:  LOL, I can’t help being irresistible.  Not that you have to worry.  You're a hottie yourself Aiden.

Me:  Ok.  N
ow I’m uncomfortable again.

Jeremy:  No worries.
I’ve never actually been attracted to you.  I can notice your hotness, but it's not for me.  It's like checking out my brother.  Gross. 

Me:  Just get everyone to the restaurant at 6 tonight dumbass.

Jeremy:  K

Becca
was trying to torture me.  I sat for an hour waiting for her to get ready.  She came out of the bathroom transformed into a goddess I couldn't touch, because we were going to meet our friends.  Not cool.  She did some girlie half up half down thing with her hair.  There were long curls I couldn't wait to run my hands through and mess up. 

She
wore a green Greek goddess style dress and gold strappy sandals.  I begged her to wear something red, but she laughed and said red heads couldn't wear red.  Whatever, I’m buying her something red, lacy and see through.  If she won’t wear red in public, I’ll get her something to wear for just me.  She could keep the shoes though.

We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes after everyone else.  We weren’t late, but Jeremy was excited
and he got everyone there early.  The waitress led us to the table, and I could feel people watching my beautiful fiancée.  What an awesome word.  It was so much better than girlfriend.  Not as good as wife, but it worked for now.

Toni interrogated us the moment we reached the table. 
“Jeremy wouldn’t tell us anything.  Spill it already.” Becca laughed and shook her head.  “So impatient,” Becca teased.  Toni response was to stick out her tongue. 

I grabbed
Becca's hand and kissed near her ring.  Kate gasped, and knocked over her water.  “I asked Becca to marry me today, and she said yes.”  “Becca?” Kate asked, shaking slightly.  Becca smiled in response, unaware of Kate's obvious anxiety.

“Isn’t it a bit fast?” Kate asked
concerned.  Becca shrugged.  I couldn’t help but smile, because I knew she was saying she didn’t give a shit what they thought.  “I guess I can see where you would see it that way, but it doesn’t feel that way.  I’m happy Kate.”

“Com’on Kate you know Becca has been through too much shit in her life.  She’s happy.  Aiden is sweet to her, and well look at him.  Be happy for her,” Toni
urged.

“Thanks, Toni.  I think.  Oh and quit checking out my fiancé.”  Becca winked at me.  “Fine, but it won’t be easy.  God you are such a lucky bitch.
  Ok, let’s see the ring."  Toni wiggled her fingers impatiently.  Becca held out her hand, and the girls oohed and ahhed like I knew they would.

Half way through dinner I noticed Kate lean in and whisper something to Becca.  Becca shook her head vigorously, and angrily whispered back. I reached over and squeezed her knee.  She gave me a tight smile and continued her quiet argument with Kate.

I turned to Jeremy, “Do you know what that is about?”  I subtly gestured toward Becca and Kate with my chin.  Jeremy checked to make sure Cameron wasn’t watching before answering.

“I overheard Kate and Toni arguing a few days ago.  I guess Kate is worried Becca is acting without thinking.  According to Kate, Becca was a really wild party girl, until the end of last school year.  You should really ask Becca about this stuff.  I know her worries about you are bullshit, so I didn’t say anything about it.  But, seriously you should let Becca tell you about her demons herself.”
  I gave him a tight smile.  "She already has.  It doesn't change a thing," I reassured him.

“I’m glad that is over,” Becca sighed on the way
back to the car.  “I saw Kate giving you a hard time.  Did that ruin the whole thing for you?” I was really pissed she wrecked Becca’s news.  She gave me a half shrug.  “It wasn’t a total waste.  I was having fun until Kate turned all motherly on me,” she answered. 

“Uh, Jeremy said he overheard a conversation between Toni and Kate the other day.  Did that have anything to do with what she was hassling you about tonight?”
She winced.  This must be bad.  “He heard that huh?  Toni told me about it that night.  Did he hear everything?” she asked nervously. 

“Yeah, but he didn’t tell me everything.  He said I should talk to you about it.  But,
I'm guessing it's what you already told me."  Becca nodded.  "It was, but it's different for Jeremy to know.  I don't want anyone to look at me differently.  Kate doesn't even know why I was acting out.  She just thinks I was a wild party girl.  I'd rather have that then see the look people get when they learn the truth."

I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.  “So Kate is worried you are using me to punish yourself for what happened when you were a child?” 

“She definitely thinks I'm being self-destructive.  Not that she ever knew why I acted the way I did,” Becca replied.  I let the doubt win for a moment.  “Are you?”

“No Aiden.  I feel calm with you.  I’m not using you to punish myself.  You make me feel strong enough to help myself.  I love you.”  Her smirk turned mysterious, and her green eyes darkened.
“I’m not above using you for sex though.”

I opened the passenger door for her, but
stopped her from climbing in. I pressed her against the open door and kissed her deeply.  “I’m good with that.”