Self Destruct (14 page)

Rebecca

The first day of class arrived, and also the first day of my new job at the university library.  Aiden was irritated with my insistence to work.  “Red, we will never get to see each other. Seriously Bec, I have a trust fund. I'm going to be gone so much once baseball starts, and I don’t want us to be apart that much.  We don’t need the money,” he argued. 

“Aiden, let’s save the money if we don’t need it.  If we never get to see each other I’ll quit,” I offered. 
He nodded, and our first real fight ended with a compromise.

My first class of the quarter was
Creative Non-fiction Writing
.  I arrived early, chose a seat in the rear corner, and started reviewing the syllabus I printed off the web. 

“Hey Becca, how was the rest of your summer?” a low male voice spoke.  Shit.
I knew that voice.  “Oh, uh, hey Jake.  My summer was fantastic, yours?”  “Well everything was going well until I blew my chances with this girl I was interested in,” Jake hinted.

“Sorry to hear that,” I mumbled.  “Are you?” Jake asked hopefully.  “Sure?” I answered, but it came out like a question.  Thankfully the professor entered the room and further discussion was discouraged.  Of course that only put off my discomfort for fifty minutes. 

“I’d like to take you out to dinner and start over,” Jake announced the moment class was over.  I pushed a strand of my hair out of my face with my left hand.  Jake’s eyes widened, and focused on my engagement ring. 

“Uh, yeah...so...uhm...
I’m engaged,” I stammered.  “To the guy you met this summer?” Jake asked in disbelief.  I smiled thinking about Aiden. “Yeah.  It sounds crazy, and totally sappy, but when you meet the one you just know.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” a
male voice growled behind me, and strong arms wrapped around me.  Aiden’s warm and spicy scent enveloped me, and I leaned into his chest.  He doesn’t usually paw me in public. 

I knew that he was marking me as his
.  His inner caveman had come out to play.  I decided not to make a big deal out of it.  “Hey babe,” I purred, allowing him his manly display. 

I knew he hated when couples called each other baby.  He always rumbled something about there not being anything sexy about babies.  Babe seemed more possessive than cutesy.  Still
, I only said it to point out that he was acting like a possessive alpha male.

I turned and looked into his hypnotic dark blue eyes, but he was giving me a funny look.  He returned his gaze to Jake.  “Hey Mitchell, how has your summer been?” Aiden asked. 

Mitchell, as in Jake Mitchell
?  Freakin’ A, they know each other?  “Not as good as yours it seems,” Jake responded dryly.  “I didn’t know you knew my fiancée,” Aiden commented, stressing the word fiancée.  “Funny, I thought you were in a serious long-term relationship with some chick going to NYU,” Jake retorted.

“I was,” Aiden admitted, “until I met Red and realized what I was missing out on.”  “Why do you call her Red?” Jake asked confused.  Aiden’s blue eyes sparkled devilishly. 

“Aiden you explain that nickname to him and…” I whisper yelled. Aiden squeezed me closer, and bent down to whisper in my ear.  “I can think of one way you can persuade me to keep my mouth shut.”  “Babe, I can think of lots of things I could do to keep you from talking, moaning, but not talking,” I whispered. 

Aiden’s eyes unfocused, and I elbowed him in the side.  He cleared his throat and continued talking to Jake.  “Her hair shined a really bright red when I first saw her on the lake, and she had gotten some sun which made her cheeks really pink.  I didn’t know who she was, so I started calling her Re
d,” Aiden finally answered. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he raised an eyebrow.  Holy shit, that was the real reason he called me Red.  Then what was that garbage about how I blushed and the color of my nipples?  I looked sideways at Aiden and he winked at me.

“Well Jake, it was nice running into you and all, but I gotta drag her off to lunch before she goes to work this afternoon,” Aiden said dismissing Jake.  Jake ignored him and turned his attention to me.
“See you in class tomorrow, Becca.” It was a very subtle way to remind Aiden that he would be seeing me for the next eight weeks. 

Aiden waited until Jake was outside of hearing range.
“I didn’t know the guy from the wedding was Jake Mitchell.”  “Well, I would have checked with you before hand, but…oh yeah you had a girlfriend.  Besides, how was I supposed to know you two knew each other?” 

He shrugged.  “I guess you weren’t.”  “So how do you know each other?” I pressed.  “We were on the baseball team together in high school.  I was the only freshman put on the varsity team, and Jake was a senior.  We really
don’t know each other that well."

“
What was with the caveman display?” I asked, waving my hand around.  “I thought I was fairly tame, considering I walked up to a guy hitting on my woman,” Aiden dismissed. 

“I’m only going to admit this because you didn’t take the jealousy to some ins
ane level, but it was kinda hot,” I told him.  Aiden chuckled.  “I trust you Becca. I just wanted him to know he doesn’t have a chance with you.” 

In the weeks that followed Jake would casually start conversations with me before and after class.  I was polite, but I never added to the conversation.  Jake never pursued me persistently
before, and he didn’t start now.

Toni thought Jake liked the idea of me.  "If he was really hot for you he wouldn't just give in."  "Honestly, I'm glad he isn't really interested.  It would be too weird seeing him in class if he was still pursuing me.  I'm not even sure I was ever into him," I admitted. 

"I'm sure Aiden
loves
that you have a class with a sort of ex," Toni commented.  I shook my head at her, knowing it was obvious to everyone Aiden was possessive.  Not in a creepy Lifetime movie of the week way, but an idealized book boyfriend kind of way.

Aiden would occasionally show up after class let out, and make a big display of touching me.  It was his way of reminding Jake his chance with me had passed.  “You know Jake doesn’t actually have a thing for me, don’t you?” I asked Aiden one day after he showed up after class.  “You’re blind then,” Aiden responded.  I grabbed his arm to stop him from walking.  For a brief moment I saw an insecure darkness cloud Aiden’s eyes.

“Hey, what’s bothering you?” I asked worried.  He scrubbed his hand across his face. “Nothing,” he mumbled.  “Aiden,” I demanded.  “If I tell you it is just going to piss you off,” he challenged.  I had to admit I was worried. 

“Please talk to me,” I urged.  “I trust you ok?  I just, shit, Becca I’m trying not to be, but I’m freaked out you are going to leave me or cheat on me.  It isn’t you, just damage Vanessa left behind.”

“I’m not mad.  I know you trust me, and I don’t mind you dropping in on me during the day,” I reassured.  “I’m not doing it because I expect to catch you doing something wrong.  I come to your class because I need to prove to myself you are real.  She fucked with my head so much over the last few years, and sometimes I need proof that my life really is this good now,” he explained.

I kissed him quickly and tenderly.  “I like seeing you during the day.”  “I love you, Becca.  There was another reason I dropped by your class.  Nick showed up at the house after I left for my run.  Jeremy was too chicken to tell him he couldn’t stay with us,
and I found him setting up his shit in the guest room.”

“Aiden, he’s one of your oldest friends, of course he should stay with us,” I argued.  “You are great for saying that, but I know he gives you the creeps
.”  I couldn’t deny it, so I didn’t try.  “He’s still your friend.” 

Aiden shook his head at me.  “He isn’t my friend if he treats you badly.  You are the most important person in my life.  Plus, I don’t trust him around you either.”  I bit the corner of my lip. 
Aiden gave me a reason for my paranoia.  I was feeling a little nauseous thinking about Nick staying in my house.  “How long is he staying?” 

“He'
s leaving on Sunday.  Sooner if he pulls any shit.  Just, stay with me or Jeremy while he is here, and I'm going to have a talk with Jer about him not staying with us anymore,” Aiden comforted.  “I will.  I get off work at seven tonight.  You should be back from class by then,” I agreed. 

“I thought the inter-library loan office was closed at five?”  Aiden asked.  I was really lucky.  I didn’t have to work weekends or nights, because I worked in one of the offices in the library.  It was one of the reasons Aiden stopped giving me a hard time about my job. 

“It does, but I’m filling in for one of the girls from the reference section,” I explained.  “Do you want me to pick you up?” he asked.  I shook my head. “I drove.  I’ll just see you at home.”

My replacement
was late getting to the library. Apparently his night class ran over.  On my way out to my car I ran into an extremely chatty Toni.  I tried not to be short with her, but I was really tired and hungry. 

"Hey, not to be a bitch, but my stomach is eating itself
.  Are you coming over tonight?" I asked.  “I have to meet a study group, but I’ll stop by in a couple of hours,” she promised. 

I'm not really sure why I asked
if
she was coming over.  Even though we didn't live together anymore I still found her in my house at all hours.  Her friendship with Jeremy had grown stronger since the summer, and if she wasn't with me she was usually with him. 

I sighed in relief when I finally made it to my car, only to discover that I accidently left the dome light on and had a dead battery.  I started to call Aiden to get a ride, but Cameron pulled in next to me and offered to jump my car. 

Who goes to the library on Friday nights?  Obviously most of my friends did and lucky for me, because I didn’t even own jumper cables.  Not that I would have known how to use them anyway. 

I asked Cameron to come over after his study group, which was surprisingly the same one Toni was going to.  Finally, I pulled out of the library parking lot at nine, two hours later than I was supposed to leave. 

I texted Aiden when I first knew that I was going to be late, but never got a chance to speak to him.  When I pulled up to our house I figured out why.  There was a huge party going on.  I had to park almost a block away, because there were cars everywhere.  I shoved my way through the wall of bodies looking for Aiden, but I didn’t see him anywhere. 

In keeping with my diminishing luck, the first person I recognized was Nick.  “What the hell is going on here?” I shouted over the loud music.  “A party, what do you care?” he shouted back. 

Nick either didn’t know, or didn’t care, that I lived here.  Seeing no point, I dropped the argument.  “Where is Aiden?” I asked, scanning the room again.  Nick’s face lit up with an evil grin.  “I haven’t seen him since he and Vanessa slipped outside to be alone.  She’s kinda freaky, so I’m sure they are making up for lost time.”

I didn’t say
another word. I just continued through the house and walked out the back door.  In the back yard I saw Aiden sitting on the porch swing, talking to a beautiful blonde.  I stayed long enough to see her brush his hair away from his eyes, and for him to grab her hand.  It wasn’t like I caught them kissing, but they looked so familiar with each other that I couldn’t stand there and watch. 

I was pissed.  I’d had the day from hell and here he was catching up with an old girlfriend I didn’t even know was in town.  I stormed back into the kitchen, and Nick was waiting with a smug expression on his face.  I wanted to punch him, but I accepted the keg cup full of beer instead. 

I took a big gulp.  I hate beer, and this was a really skunky kind.  Extremely bitter, but I was pissed so I took another big drink, and then another.  The urge to drive away the pain slammed me, and the only thing I could focus on was my cup of beer. 

I couldn’t remember what I was mad about after
a few big gulps.  The only thing I remembered thinking was beer shouldn't make my face feel numb, and then nothing.  No feeling pissed, no asshole boyfriends talking to ex-girlfriends, no douche bag friends of future ex-boyfriends, no dead batteries, no worries, no problems, and no feeling in most of my body.  It made me remember why I used to drink so much.  Sometimes nothing felt so good.

Aiden

I checked my phone for the hundredth time in the last hour.  It was almost nine, and I hadn’t heard from Becca since she texted me she was going to be late.  I wanted to warn her about Nick using our house to throw a party.  Something I discovered when I came home, but I didn’t want to interrupt her at work.  I texted a few times, but since she hadn’t responded I figured she must still be stuck waiting on her replacement. 

Then to make this ni
ght truly hellish, Vanessa showed up out of the blue.  The entire time we were together she never visited me, and now that we were broken up she shows up unannounced.  I drug her outside to see what she wanted.  It didn’t feel right to have her in my house, where Becca and I lived.  I didn’t want her anywhere near my life with Becca.  Everything Vanessa touched turned to shit.  I wanted to keep her ugliness away from Becca.

“What the fuck are you doing here Vanessa?” I spit out.  “Lovely to see you too Aiden,” she responded sarcastically.  “Cut the shit.  What do you want?” I demanded.  “I want you to hold up your end of our agreement,” she
answered coldly.  “What agreement?  The one where you make me miserable and offer to someday tell me where our son is?”  I snapped. 

She sighed like she was going to have to explain a complex idea to a toddler.  “Aiden, daddy says we will only be able to get him back if we are married.  It will make us look mature.  Plus our mothers expect it.  I really don’t understand why you are making such a big deal out of us seeing other people.  But, we are graduating this year, so it is time to stop screwing around and start planning our wedding.  I’ve let you
run off with your tart, now it's time to get serious.”

“I want you to leave Ellensburg, and nev
er contact me again."  I leaned to get off the porch swing.  Vanessa reached out and brushed my hair out of my face.  I grabbed her hand before she could try to pull me into a kiss.  Being near her made me feel sick.  I don’t know how I spent so much time thinking I could make a life with her work. 

“I’m not going to break up with Becca.
I’m not going to marry you.  And I’m sure as hell not helping you get our son back.  He is better off where he is.  I signed over my parental rights.  You have nothing to hold over me anymore,” I retorted. 

“Why the hell would you sign over your rights Aiden?  We needed those so you could petition for custody!” She screamed.  “I know, but I realized giving him up was best for him. 
We have nothing left to say to each other.  Goodbye Vanessa.”

I saw a flash of red being led out of the kitchen by Nick.  When did Becca get here?  I ran for the house, and had to fight my way through searching for Becca.  I found Jeremy talking to some friends in the living room.  “Jeremy, have you seen Becca?” I asked frantically.  “I saw Nick giving her a beer earlier,” he answered.

I glared at him, and I could see the moment he realized the threat.  “Shit, I forgot I wasn’t supposed to leave her alone with him.”  "How the hell do you forget that?" I seethed.  Jeremy swallowed hard, fighting his own panic.  I knew he cared about Becca, and yelling at him wasn't going to help me find her.

We both started scanning the bodies packed in the living room.  My panic grew the longer I looked without finding her.  I knew Nick creeped her out, and she would never willingly go anywhere with him. 

We finally made it to the hallway where the bedrooms were.  I searched mine while Jeremy searched his, just hoping that she was hiding away from the noise.  When we didn’t find her I tried to open the door to the guest room, but it was locked.

I pounded on the door, and Nick cracked it open.  “What the hell man?  Can’t you see
I've got something going here?” Nick complained.  “I’m looking for my girlfriend.  Have you seen her?” I asked loosing patience.  “Weren’t you outside talking to her?” Nick sneered.  “No dickhead, I was arguing with Vanessa.  Do you know where Becca is or not?” I demanded.

Before Nick could answer I heard an odd sound, like wheezing.  I shoved the door open and found Becca passed out and starting to spasm.  “Jeremy!” I screamed, and shoved Nick hard to get him out of my way.  Jeremy held Nick away from me while I rushed to grab Becca.  “What the fuck did you do?”  I shouted. 

“I was just comforting her after she caught you getting cozy with Vanessa outside,” Nick scoffed.  “Aiden go, she doesn’t look good,” Jeremy insisted, shoving me towards the front door.  People moved out of our way when they saw me carry Becca through the house.  I laid her in the back seat of my car and raced the few blocks to the hospital.

As soon as we arrived doctors swept Becca away to have her stomach pumped.  “What did she take?” an E.R. nurse asked me while I was filling out Becca’s paperwork.  I swallowed hard, what had she
been given? 

“I don’t know.  I'
m pretty sure a former friend of mine drugged her at our house tonight.  Everyone said he gave her one beer and then she started to seem really drunk.  Is she going to be ok?” I asked terrified. “We are doing our best.  Someone will come and find you as soon as there is news,” she promised. 

Toni and Cameron ran into the waiting room.  “Jeremy will be here after he breaks up the party,” Cameron informed me.  I nodded, unable to speak. 

“Still nothing?” Toni asked.  This time I shook my head.  She picked up on my mood, and squeezed my hand.  “She’s a fighter Aiden,” Toni assured.  I didn’t respond.  I tried to let her words comfort me, but I was too afraid.  “I need her,” I whispered.  “I know how you feel.  I need her too,” she replied. 

Jeremy arrived about an hour after they got there, and sat quietly.  I could see he was overwhelmed with guilt.  I couldn’t muster the energy to be pissed he didn’t keep Nick from her.  I should have kicked Nick’s ass out as soon as I knew he was in town.  I already lost one of my oldest friends,
if he was ever really my friend.  I wasn’t about to let Nick’s betrayal ruin my friendship with Jeremy. 

The police came and took a statement from Jeremy and I.  They stopped by the house to find Nick, but he had
already left.  “Sorry Aiden.  I wasn’t thinking about the police needing to talk to him, I just wanted his ass out of our house,” Jeremy apologized. I nodded.  “You didn’t do this,” I insisted.  “I didn’t do anything,” Jeremy muttered.

Kate entered the waiting room in her scrubs.  “Hey guys.  I just checked in on Becca,” Kate
said trying to catch her breath.  “Sorry, I don’t have a lot of time.  I’m not working this floor tonight, but I had to see how she was doing.  I’m not going to sugar coat it.  She isn’t great, but she’s hanging in there.  Her breathing was weak when you brought her in Aiden.  She had her stomach pumped, and is on a respirator.  It appears he crushed several different barbiturates and mixed them with beer.  The combination depressed her respiratory system.

She still hasn’t woken up.  I don’t know how long it will be
before she does.  I know the doctors are hesitating in coming to talk to you, because there is a chance she won’t come out of this.  I don’t believe that though. 

We know her.  She will fight this.  I know how hard it is to not know what is going on.  Hang in there.  I’ll keep checking in on her, and I’ll let you know if there are any changes.”

A half an hour later a doctor finally came around to repeat the same information Kate gave us.  I was allowed to wait in her room after that.  I sent our friends home, and settled into a chair to sleep.

Twelve hours later I had my first reason to hope.  Her eyes blinked open, and I immediately pushed the call button for the nurse.  For the better part of the next hour there was a flurry of activity while the doctors removed her from the respirator, and made sure she could breath without it. 
She went back to sleep after she was unhooked, and it was another day before she woke up again.

“Aiden,” Becca croaked.  I jumped up to grab her some water.  “Shh, don’t talk your throat is going to be raw,” I told her.  “Where am I?” she
rasped.  “The hospital.  God, Becca I was so scared.  Nick, he, uh, he,” I stammered. 

Becca star
ted shaking violently.  “Did he...uh...was I?” Becca tried to ask.  “No, sweetheart.  I’m sure he was going to, but he didn’t touch you.  He did give you a laced beer that nearly killed you.  I’ve never been so scared as I was racing you here.”

I saw a flash of anger pass over Becca's face, and she turned to look away from me. 
“Who was she?” “Who?” I asked, confused.  “The girl I saw you with that night,” she whispered angrily.

Realization hit, she saw me talking to Vanessa outside.  I’m sure it was upsetting, but I could explain everything.
“Vanessa dropped by.  I didn’t know she was in town.  Nothing happened with her, and it never will,” I swore.  “I’m so stupid, Aiden.  I was so upset when I saw you talking to her.  Nick handed me a beer and I took it,” she said, fighting tears. 

I climbed on the bed with her and tried to comfort her.  “How could you have anticipated one of my friends would try to drug you?  There is no way that you could have guessed he would try and attack you.”  “How long have I been here?” Becca asked, changing the subject. 
“About two days,” I answered.

Much sooner than I imagined, a
doctor began the procedures to discharge her.  “Are you sure she is ready to be discharged?” I asked nervously.  “Don’t you want me to come home?” Becca's brow crinkled with confused.  “Of course I do, but you scared the shit out of me.  I want to be sure it is completely safe for you to leave here,” I explained. 

The doctor interrupted, “She will need to check in with a respiratory therapist, but that can be done as an out-patient. I am going to prescribe an antibiotic, just as prevention.  There was an outbreak of bacterial pneumonia, and we want to make sure you do not contract it since your respiratory system is still weakened.  A nurse will be in shortly with your discharge paperwork.”

“Have you been here the entire time?” Becca asked after the doctor left.  “Of course,” I said.  “Well it's a good thing I get to go home today.  You look like you need a shower and a bed,” Becca observed.  “Only if you join me.  I don't think I can sleep without holding you.”