Self Destruct (15 page)

Rebecca

Police, parents, friends, and annoying reporters irritated the hell out of me the first couple of days I was home from the hospital.  Aiden convinced all of my professors to send lectu
re notes and work home with him. They agreed to let me take an entire week off of class to recover.

“You expect me to spend an entire week in bed
?" I asked in disbelief.  “Yes,” Aiden answered matter of factly.  I started wearing tiny boy shorts, and lacy tank tops to bed.  “How do you plan on keeping me here?” I propositioned. 

“Becca,” Aiden moaned begging me to behave
.  I ignored his plea and continued, “I spoke to my doctor earlier today.  I asked if I could return to, uh, normal activity.  He said I could not go run any marathons, but I could start living my normal life again as my energy returns.”

I watched Aiden’s throat move up and down.  “You want to…are…are you sure?”
I could see anticipation and desire flicker across his face.  “I love you, I want you.  I want to return to our normal lives.  Make love to me Aiden.”  He smiled a wicked smile.  “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

Aiden gathered me in his arms and carefully ran his hands through my hair.  He gently kissed my forehead, my cheeks, and lightly across my lips.  “Aiden, I’m not made of glass,” I growled.  “I’m really afraid I’m
going to accidentally hurt you,” he admitted. 

I pushed his chest and he rolled over too easily, like he was eager not to be on top of me.  He closed his eyes, and took a de
ep breath.  I took advantage of his efforts to relax.  I climbed on top of him and straddled his waist.  “What are you doing?” Aiden asked in a strangled voice.  I ran my fingers around his naked chest, tracing the ridges of his muscles.  “Why? Don’t you like it?” I asked innocently. 

“Becca, I’m not sure I can.  Maybe in a few more days.”  “I think you can,” I purred, and rocked against the growing evidence pressed against me.  Aiden groaned.  He put his hands on my hips to stop me, but I continued to wiggle against him.  “Aiden, do you want me?”  “You can feel that I do,” he choked out. 
“That's all I needed to hear.” I leaned over and kissed him hungrily.  The way I wanted him to kiss me earlier. 

I pulled my tank top off over my head and rubbed my sensitive skin across his.  I slipped off of him for a moment, and he whimpered.  I slid my shorts and panties off, and pulled off his boxers.  “I’m not done with you yet,” I promised, and kissed him deeply.  Aiden fisted his hands in my long hair, and held me in the kiss. 

My skin rubbed against his as I repositioned myself on top of him.  I sensed the moment he lost control when his hips surged forward and he entered me.  “Oh, Fuck.  I didn’t hurt you did I?” he groaned, trying not to move.  I moaned.  “No. You. Ah. Feels. Good,” I stammered. 

His hands returned to my hips,
but instead of stopping me he guided me to speed up.  After days of fear and stress neither of us were going to last very long.  I kissed him, flicked my tongue against his full bottom lip, and sucked it into my mouth.

He
rocked against me hard, twice, and it was all I needed.  The climax that overtook me was overwhelming.  I felt it vibrate through my body, and my soul.  Almost exactly the same time Aiden wrapped his arms around me and held me still.  “Fuck, I love you,” he shouted.  I laughed silently.  Aiden was an odd mixture of naughty and nice.

We stayed wrapped in each other the rest of the afternoon.  “Are you two going to come up for air or food sometime today?” Jeremy yelled through our closed door.  At the mention of food my stomach grumbled.  “Let’s get dressed and I’ll feed you,” Aiden whispered in my ear. 

I smiled at him and gently stroked his dark blonde hair.  “You seem happier.”  “Amazing an orgasm can do, huh?” he teased waggling his eyebrows.  “Mmm, we are definitely doing that again,” I agreed.

Jeremy pounded on the door.  “We’re coming,” Aiden yelled.  “I don’t need to hear that shit.  Finish up and get dressed,” Jeremy shouted back. 
Toni laughed somewhere in the hallway. 

“He meant we will be with you in a few minutes perv
s,” I teased.  “Whatever, get your horny asses out here soon.  I’m starving and I haven’t been getting freaky all day.  I’m not going in to rescue the two of you if you forget to eat.  I would have to bleach my eyeballs,” Jeremy shouted.

A short time later I practically skipped from the bathroom, excited to be
allowed out of the house.  I joined the guys and Toni in the living room, and watched while Jeremy searched for his keys. 

The heavy thud of boots echoed from the front porch, followed by an authoritative knock
, just as we were ready to walk out the door.  Jeremy opened the door, and my stomach dropped.  “Can I help you officer?” Jeremy asked nervously.

I felt dizzy, nauseous, and like crying all at the same time.  Aiden slipped his arm around me, either to comfort me or be comforted himself.  “I’m looking for Rebecca Scott,” the Ellensburg Police Officer answered.  I opened my mouth to speak, but only a tiny squeak emerged.  I cleared my throat and tried again.  “That’s me.” 

“Miss Scott, we wanted to inform you that Nicholas Jones was arrested this morning in Seattle.  He has probably posted bond by now, but we wanted to let you know since the prosecutor will likely be contacting you soon.  Usually we would have done this over the phone, but I live nearby and volunteered to drop by.”

I glanced at his nametag. 
“Thank you very much Officer Martin.  It was very kind of you to go out of your way to let me know that.”  “I have a sister your age.  I was the first officer to interview your fiancé, and I wanted to make sure you were doing ok,” he answered.

I tipped my face up to look over my shoulder at Aiden.  “I’m getting there,” I answered
honestly.  “You have a strong support system.  You're very lucky.”  I laid my head against Aiden’s chest.  “I know.”

“Son of a fucking bitch!” Aiden shouted as soon as Officer Martin left.  “I can’t believe
that cock-sucker is out already,” he continued to rant.  “Aiden,” Jeremy tried to get his attention. 

T
here was a buzzing in my brain.  I started to feel dizzy again, but before I could faint Aiden was back wrapping his arms around me.

“Com’on let’s still go get something to eat,” Aiden said steering me toward the door. 
Toni grabbed my coat and was trying to shove my arms into it.  “I’m not very hungry,” I said weakly. 

“Bullshit Becca, you were starving a little bit ago.  We aren’t going to let that piece
of shit ruin another day for us.” "He's right Becca.  No more going down the rabbit hole.  You need food.  Now," Toni ordered, and gave my coat one more tug.  Jeremy looked like he was going to plot against me too.  I realized they were probably right, I agreed. 

Aiden

The last few weeks had been absolute shit.  Don't get me wrong.  It was still the best time of my life.  Each day with Becca was the best day of my life, but watching her try to move past her attack was torture. 

The guilt weighed heavily on me, because Nick was a friend
I had allowed into our house.  I knew, deep down I knew, he was capable of this.  I didn't want to believe it, but I knew, and I was too big of a chicken shit to throw him out.  I’ll never fail her like that again.

My
attitude was part of the reason the last few weeks had been so shitty.  I hovered after her classes and when she got off work.  She just smiled at me, but I knew I was smothering her. 

Becca
was an angel.  She recognized I needed to look after her, to fight some of the helplessness I felt when she was overdosing on the drugs he gave her.

I remembered everything Becca told me about how she coped with her assault as a teenager
.  I noticed she was barely eating, and I was afraid she was torturing herself again. 

She
was already so small. She had mouthwatering curves, but proportionate to her tiny body.  She couldn't afford to loose a single pound.  I didn't think she was trying to lose weight, but it seemed I had to remind her to eat.  I’d heard Toni doing it too.  Luckily, Thanksgiving was in less than a week.  It gave me a good excuse to force some more food on her. 

“Any idea how you want to spend the holidays?” I asked her the Saturday morning before Thanksgiving break.  “I don’t care as long as I get to spend it with you,” she answered with a yawn. 

“Hey sleepy head, you can’t be tired.  You fell asleep during the movie last night at like nine, and it is ten in the morning now.  You've had thirteen hours of sleep,” I pointed out. 

“I know
. I’ve been exhausted lately, and now I’m waking up tired.  Maybe I’m getting too much sleep,” she considered. Or maybe it was the lack of food.  I bit back making that comment, but barely.  I was definitely going to stuff her full of food for days. 

“What do you usually do for Thanksgiving?” I asked.  Here I
was engaged to the girl, and I had no idea what she did for holidays.  I hope she didn't become super religious. 

I have nothing against churchgoers, but it seems hypocritical to only go on special occasions.  Or what if she wears holiday sweaters?  I shudder
ed just thinking about sweaters decorated with bells, or stuffed reindeer antlers sticking off the shoulders. 

“Since I’ve been here at Central I’ve usually joined the orphans for at least one of the holidays.
Mostly Thanksgiving, and I only go home for Christmas day,” she answered, thankfully interrupting my mental image of ugly sweaters. 

“Orphans?” I asked confused.  She
giggled.  “Not actual orphans, it's what those of us that didn’t have anywhere to go started calling ourselves.  Well, didn’t have anywhere we wanted to go is more accurate.” 

“Sounds fun actually.  Can I invite my dad?”
I asked interested. “Yeah, that sounds great.  Uh, what will your mom do?” she asked nervously.  “Something else,” I mumbled.

It turned out there were a lot of “orphans” in our group.  Toni was in for reasons that weren’t clear.  Becca told me not to ask.  There was obviously a story there, but no one wanted to tell it.
I'm not even sure they knew why.

Kate and Cameron were joining us, because apparently they actually were orphans.  I hadn’t realized they lost their parents during their last year of high school.

Jeremy decided to join us, and not only because Cameron would be there.  Jeremy didn’t want to spend another holiday confirming, to his parents’ disappointment, that he was in fact, still gay. 

After lunch Becca fell asleep again.  I reached over and covered her with a blanket, and my phone started to ring.  I answered without looking
, because I was trying not to wake up Becca.  I should remember not to do that again.  That's how I always ended up talking to my mother.

"
I finally got you on the phone,” my mother huffed.  “Hi mom,” I answered grudgingly.  “Aiden, darling, we need to discuss holiday plans.  I would like for you to be home on Wednesday night. I invited the Prestons over for Thanksgiving dinner.  They should arrive for cocktails around four.”

“You know that isn’t going to work out, Mom,” I sighed wearily.  “Oh Aiden don’t be such
a boor. We have celebrated Thanksgiving with the Prestons for years.  I’m sure your little friend won’t mind.  She’ll be with her family anyway,” she said dismissively.

“She’s my fiancée mother, and we will be
together
wherever we are," I explained through clenched teeth.  “Well that really isn’t going to work with our plans dear.  I don’t think Vanessa would be very comfortable eating with, uh your friend,” she chided. 

“Fiancée, mother.  It really doesn’t matter
, because I wouldn't be comfortable around Vanessa.  I won’t be there,” I told her. 

“You didn’t really ask that girl to marry you did you?”
she asked disdainfully. “Yes, and we live together too,” I answered honestly.  I was tired of her selfish attempts to manage my life. 

“I don’t appreciate your sense of humor,” she
admonished.  “Good thing I’m not joking then, huh?” I snapped.

“Frank!” she screamed away from the phone.  “Did you know Aiden proposed to that girl?  What are we going to do?”
His voice came through slightly muffled.  “He already called and told us he was engaged,” my father reminded her.

“Do something,” she
insisted.  "Alright Nadine.  I'll send a card," he said, purposefully misunderstanding her.  "You know that isn't what I meant!" she hissed.  "Hand me the phone," he insisted.

I heard the sounds of the phone being passed off, and my father’s irritated sigh.  “Hi dad,” I greeted
.  I was actually happy to talk to him.  “Hey son.  What are you going to do for the holidays?

“
I’m not coming home for Thanksgiving.  I can’t take much more of mom’s shit.  I won't be away from Becca.  Especially not now, and I won't spend another break with Vanessa.

I don’t want to put you in a bad situation, but a bunch of us are planning to have Thanksgiving dinner here at our house.  Becca and I would like it if you would join us.  If you want to stay and have a society holiday, fine, but I
wanted to extend the invitation,” I offered.

He paused for a minute
.  “I might take you up on that.”  “Good.  If you do, leave her home.  Becca and I need to minimize stress for a bit.  She’s worrying me actually.  I don’t think she's eating enough.  She's tired and sick all of the time. I don’t know what's going on,” I confided.

I told my dad about Becca's past when he was here last.  He was worried about our relationship moving so fast, and we talked about a lot of things.  I'll never forget what he said. 

"Pain can be a bonding experience, but healing can be also.  Rebecca needed someone to trust with her heart, and so did you.  It probably gave you both the courage to step outside of your usual behavior.  I've never believed in soul mates before, but the two of you give me hope it does exist."

“Aiden,
are you there?" my dad asked, and snapped me out of reminiscing. "Sorry, I'm still here." 

"I was saying, Rebecca
has been through a lot of trauma lately.  What Nick tried to do probably brought back feelings of helplessness.  She might just be escaping into herself to allow her mind to heal.  Encourage her to speak to someone, and give her time,” my dad advised. 

“She is seeing a therapist here at the
university,” I told him.  “Then time is what she needs.  There are other factors that could be causing the symptoms.” 

“Like what?” I asked on the verge of panic. 
What if she had cancer or some other terminal illness?  Almost losing her made it clear to me that I couldn't live without her.  I might be alive without her, but it would never feel like living. 

“Are the two of you, you know, careful?” my dad asked.  “You mean like birth control?  Yeah, she’s on the pill,” I answered. 

“Good, the last thing you need is another accident,” he lectured.  “Honestly dad, I would be relieved if whatever is going on with her was an unplanned pregnancy.  That I could handle. 

A second ago I was afraid you were going to say she should get tested for cancer.  I’m in this relationship for the long term, and Becca isn’t Vanessa.  I
’m not worried,” I said, calming down. 

“You still haven’t graduated college, and you aren’t married yet.  Yes, Becca is different than Vanessa, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be a mother right now either.  Your relationship might be serious, but an unplanned pregnancy can destroy it,” my dad cautioned.

“I love and trust her dad.  She wouldn’t do to me what Vanessa did,” I assured him.  “Who said I was worried about you?  She is a twenty-one-year-old girl.  There is a big difference between finding the love of your life, and becoming a mother.  The two of you still have some living to do before you settle down,” he countered.

“Are you against me now too?”
I asked. “No son, you misunderstood what I said.  I think the two of you are perfect for each other, and are mature enough to be married.  I think you should enjoy some time alone together, married, before you become parents,” he explained. 

“Sorry
, I overreacted.  Talking to mom makes me pissed.”  “Happens to the best of us.  Believe me I understand,” he sympathized.