Authors: Cindy Mezni
“I didn't mean to eavesdrop...”
“I know you were not spying on me,” he said simply.
He said nothing and made no comment on the subject that really mattered.
“You gotta go, Garreth,” I continued emphatically. “You need to see his body to know that he's indeed dead. You will never forget, but you'll finally be able to move on. I know it and you know it too, deep down.”
He’d stared at me since the beginning of my speech, his face becoming increasingly tortured as he was in conflict with himself and hesitated about what was the right decision to make.
“I can't, Deliah. You need me...and the idea of leaving you alone here... I can't...
I just can't
...”
I stood up too and approached him. There were times when I liked to see the vulnerable Garreth but, right now, seeing him like that, I couldn't stand it. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.
“You can ask for the community to send people to watching me during your absence,” I suggested.
I saw the idea making its way into his mind, but he began to shake his head after a few moments. He wasn't yet convinced.
“Even if someone else watches over you, who will be there for you...to reassure you when you wake up from one of your nightmares? Who will be there to calm you when you have a crisis due to a noise or something else?”
Hearing him talk about my weakness was hard and I began to doubt my convictions. He was right. I couldn't deal with it alone. However, when my eyes found his again, I saw that the ghosts of the past had resurfaced because we spoke of Aidan and it haunted him. To convince him, I decided to opt for a different tactic.
“It's true that I need you, but in your current state, you can't help me as you might do if your mind was free from all those things that torment you. Go see the body of your brother and go discover why Travis hasn't yet been tried. And come back to me when all this is behind you. It's as much for you as for me that you have to go back to the community.”
He remained silent a moment, pondering my words.
“We need you to go,” I said again, trying to get rid of his last doubts. “Because we both need to get better, but also because we need to learn more about the prophecy. You've already told me everything you know, but we need more information to fight against the insurgents. We need to know if, indeed, there is no alternative but to kill them.”
While Leighton believed the solution was in the book she gave me, I wasn’t so sure about it. So it was better to explore more avenues. If the book didn't give me the answers I needed, I would see if Garreth could find something out. Again, he was silent and just stared at me strangely. I didn't know if it was a good thing or not.
“I'll go,” he finally said and I sighed in relief, even if a part of me was terrified at the idea of staying here alone. “I'll go because I want to focus my attention on you and only you, to help you get better. Of course, I will also bring back everything I can find on the prophecy. Just...”
He paused, hesitating, gauging my gaze before continuing.
“Are you sure of yourself? You'd be ready to kill them?”
I paused for a few seconds before answering. “Yes. If this is the only option, then I will.”
I was sincere. I didn't want to kill anyone and I would have preferred never to have such a burden placed on my shoulders--the sacrifice of some lives in order to save others. But if Leighton, Garreth, and I found no alternative, I would do it. The insurgents chose to spread suffering and death in their path and they wouldn't cease unless stopped for good.
It was time for someone to do what was necessary, whatever the price may be. There was no longer any doubt in my mind. Like it or not, whether I was ready or not, I was the person destined for this.
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