Tantric Orgasm for Women (5 page)

Awareness and Sensitivity Exercise
Partner Exercise to Harmonize the Energies

An energy-harmonizing exercise such as this one can be used to
attune you and your partner to one another. Give yourselves about half an hour.
It can be done as described here, as a practice in itself, or as a mode of
foreplay that continues into making love. The harmonizing exercise finishes with
both of you standing up, which is really one of the best ways to begin making
love—kissing and embracing and gradually proceeding to the bed.

Prepare a meditative atmosphere around you and your partner. Place cushions
opposite each other a little distance apart. (Use chairs if necessary.) Sit
upright with crossed legs, if possible, and a comfortably straight spine. Your spine will be better supported if you sit directly on the bones of the buttocks (sitz bones), so do lean forward and pull the flesh of your buttocks slightly apart and away from you. This will create a slight arch in the lower back, which makes sitting on the floor with crossed legs easier to sustain.

Sit facing each other in the night, by candlelight or by moon-light, and hold each other’s hands crosswise. Use soft vision, as described at the end of chapter 2. For about ten minutes look into one another’s eyes; if your body starts swaying, allow it to. You can blink, but go on looking into one another’s eyes. Whatever happens, don’t let go of one another’s hands. After ten minutes, close your eyes and allow the swaying to continue for a further ten minutes.

Then stand and sway together, holding hands for ten more minutes. You can have eyes open or closed, whatever feels most comfortable for you. Finish with a warm embrace. This exchange will mix your energy deeply.

Equal and Opposite Forces

Too easily we assume that the energetic bodies of man and woman are in effect the same. In reality a woman’s body is completely different from that of a man’s and exactly to what extent our bodies differ has not been understood. Any differences between us are taken for granted, while the deeper implications are missed.

If we look at the differences that are apparent between male and female
bodies—the sexual organs and associated reproductive functions—what can we see?
We see the unique male ability to produce and discharge seeds containing half the blueprint for life. We see the unique female ability to receive, absorb, supply the other half of the blueprint and transform it into life within her. Reproduction demonstrates that male and female are equal forces in perfect balance: one no stronger, one no weaker; each providing a vital function. Man cannot reproduce himself on this planet without woman, and woman cannot create life in the absence of man. These two equal forces are absolutely opposite in expression while at the same time utterly complementary. There is an active force balanced by a receptive force.

Woman’s body is equal to man’s body while simultaneously energetically opposed to it. So, in sex, what goes for a man (apparently) is not
necessarily
energetically suitable or true for a woman. In being opposite and equal to man, woman complements man in his entirety. This equal and opposite phenomenon underpins the powerful pull of sex—we are continually drawn to the opposite sex regardless of our age and it seems that sex will not leave us in peace, or at least not for very long. Actually, sex is knocking on our door, offering a secret way to attain profound peace and love through male and female elements being rightly harnessed. By meeting, melting, and merging with the opposite force, we become complete, we become one. The sense of separation evaporates into the sense of immense union with everything that is. Most people in our societies today hold sex and spiritually far apart, and many even consider them to conflict with one another. Yet the longing for union (with the opposite sex or with existence itself) is a spiritual longing, which reveals why, in their essence, sex and spirituality are so closely associated.

Energetic Differences of Woman Compared with Man

We hear little about different energetic qualities of female and
male and a lot about constitutional and emotional differences. A basic education
should include a study of how our different energies manifest in our physical
differences—and what significance these have in the sexual exchange. Nature intentionally instilled the female and male genitals with complementary
qualities, or polarities of energy, in order that they might interact and play with each other.

The female element is receptive and the male element is active.*
¹
Many other words can be assigned to describe these essentially opposing qualities,
such as yin/yang, moon/sun, night/day, passive/dynamic. The meeting of female and male is a meeting of opposite poles, and this meeting makes a flow of energy possible between them. At the subtle energy level this complementary design produces, with relative ease, an orgasmic state. By virtue of
not being the same
, these equal but opposite forces create one vibrant unit. Only when these two halves meet is the sexual unit complete. Imagine a lock and key. A lock without a key is basically useless. A key without a lock is equally as useless. Together, through one fitting into the other, they perform an essential function. Even though each part is quite different in design, when the fit is true the unit rotates and a secret door swings open to reveal a paradise of hitherto unknown sexual experience.

In addition to the existence of this polarity, we must understand that woman is in fact half man and man is half woman. It is this inner phenomenon that forms the basis of meditation. It is helpful to use the magnet as a model to understand more fully our internal design. Although the human body is not absolutely identical to a magnet, it is similar enough to make the magnet model useful in perceiving the body energy in a different way. Poles of a magnet are traditionally assigned “positive” and “negative” to convey their essential attributes. Overall a woman is negative and receptive, but within herself she carries the equal and opposite pole of experience. In accordance with her receptive nature, the vagina, which receives man physically, is the negative pole. The opposite pole, the male pole, exists in the breasts and heart. All the male attributes and qualities—such as dynamic, active, sun, yang—then apply to the positive pole, the breasts/heart of the woman. From here she opens, radiates, expands, expresses, shares, reaches out into the world. However, through the vagina
she serenely welcomes, sweetly receives, absorbs, and relaxes. Woman as passive aspect represents the negative pole, yet within herself she carries the positive.

Fig. 4.1. Plus and minus poles at breasts and vagina respectively, illustrating the magnetic rod

Furthermore, between opposite poles there is a flow of energy. A channel of what can best be called electromagnetic energy, known in tantra as the
magnetic rod,
runs between the lower and upper poles of the female body. Between positive and negative is a movement of subtle electromagnetic energy that streams or spirals and becomes the source of the orgasmic experience. The ultimate source of orgasmic experience lies
within
each individual, not outside.

Orgasm Is an Auto-Ecstatic Phenomenon

This means that essentially orgasm is an auto-ecstatic phenomenon that comes to pass through illustrating the the interplay of equal and opposite polarities. magnetic rod Woman embodies the feminine passive principle externally, yet internally her male aspect balances this. In woman, the outer feminine pole triggers the activation of the inner male pole, opening a channel to the streaming of orgasmic electromagnetic energy.

Interestingly, the genital contact of the penis in the vagina is not absolutely essential for an orgasmic experience. The human being is auto-ecstatic: given the right environment, it is possible for anyone to move into states of ecstasy alone. Anyone can be blessed with an experience of ecstatic bliss
without
sexual intercourse.

In reality, then, another person is not involved in your ecstasy. It may be triggered by your partner in making love, but the inner experience, the ecstasy and joy, is yours alone. The person may or may not share a similar experience, depending on his presence and sensitivity. For instance, a woman can have an ecstatic sexual experience even while a man is fast asleep inside her without erection. In sex we are engaging with the other, having the source of orgasmic energy triggered, yet ultimately the state is
experienced as our own. It is not always mutually experienced as the same thing at the same time.

Blissfulness requires only three essential elements: timelessness, egolessness, and naturalness.
¹
The beauty and elegance of sex is that these three essential elements are naturally made possible by the sexual situation itself. Tracking backward and recovering our innocent, natural, egoless selves in sex, we shift into a realm where time dissolves and bliss descends.

A woman shares her experience:
“I had a very strong experience of the energy field beyond the bodies, watching the bodies inside the energy space. The weird thing was that this was all happening while my partner was in total misery and couldn’t feel any of it. Is this possible? It reminded me of similar experiences I’ve had before, lying on top of a man with him still inside me, me not moving, in bliss and joy and then the man would start snoring—he was not there with it at all (consciously at least), and then I always thought I must be imagining the bliss and energy, and I would cut it off immediately.”

Two Magnets Meeting at Opposite Ends

While women are essentially auto-ecstatic, we can engage with
men to galvanize our inner opposite into life—to awaken us to our inner source
of ecstasy. It follows then that the male body, equal and opposite, will have
the magnetic poles reversed. The positive pole is the penis, in accordance with
the physical design for penetration of the vagina, and the negative pole is the
heart and chest. As in woman, between these two poles there is an
electromagnetic streaming, an ecstatic flow of energy. In relation to woman the male “magnet” is standing on its head in a reversed position. When a man stands
opposite
a woman, their inner magnets are meeting at their opposite ends—negative vagina to positive penis and positive breasts to negative chest. This is why some people avoid close hugs except with their intimate partner, and even there I see many couples keeping their pelvises withdrawn from a full-body embrace, simply out of a lifetime of habit. We avoid touch or pressure between the genitals or breasts and chest because a powerful polarity exists, and the connection is sometimes not appropriate when hugging friends or strangers.

Fig. 4.2. Opposing female and male polarities, with magnetic rods and potential circular energy flow (in “yab yum” position)

When opposite poles are facing one another and brought into proximity, two magnets will exert a tremendously attractive force on one another. (On the other hand, magnets with similar poles facing will repel one another and push apart.) When two magnets meet at opposite poles the magnetic field is tremendously amplified. In fact, the magnetic field is then much larger and more intense than the sum of its two parts.

The attraction of magnets is due to a circulation of electromagnetic energy that is created between the two magnets, with plus flowing to minus (man to woman) and plus flowing to minus (woman to man) at both ends. Woman recirculates
energy received in the vagina by channeling it upward and radiating out through her breasts to man, as the positive flows to negative. Man radiates from the penis into woman and correspondingly receives from woman through his heart. There is a reciprocal circle, a circling force of energy.

Allow Physical Contact to Be Porous

Couples will feel the power and attraction of this phenomenon when standing opposite each other, even at a distance of a yard or two apart. Some couples find it even easier to feel the energy circling from a distance than when they are in physical contact. As they get physically closer other distractions get in the way, perhaps fears of being truly open or fears of not being accepted fully, or perhaps the physical contact will be so compact as to deaden the finer sensations in the energy field between the bodies. For this reason,
porous
contact is always recommended when bodies are up against each other, as in an embrace. Bodies need to contact each other
extremely delicately; otherwise, finer sensations easily get overshadowed. When a man squeezes you firmly in his arms during an embrace, you will not be able to stay in his arms for very long. After a few moments, there comes an urgent need to pull back into your own space because it is too physical, too hard, and the sensation of being hugged is not that enjoyable, not after the initial joy of the greeting and kiss. There must be a quality of porousness wherein a person respects your energy body, which extends way out beyond your physical boundaries. In the porous situation a hug can be sustained for hours as the energy bodies melt deeper and deeper into one another. Usually during physical contact we don’t think about a person’s energy body, but we all have one, although some of us are more aware of it and sensitive to it than others.

When we become more sensitive to ourselves and to our partner, we begin to perceive the true communion between man and woman. Man gives to woman as positive force and woman receives from man as negative force. In her very receiving she is empowered and returns that power by giving to man, and thus he receives what he himself has given. In giving,
man receives and in receiving, woman gives. When he knows how to speak to the
body of a woman through polarity, the love a man gives returns to him through
his woman. It is recorded that an actual circle of light can start to move
between a couple, and they will begin to emanate light. This is an interesting
image to have as inspiration; however, reaching such heights requires much preparation and loving patience.