Tantric Orgasm for Women (6 page)
Read Tantric Orgasm for Women Online
Authors: Diana Richardson
Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Sexuality, #Psychology, #Human Sexuality, #Self-Help, #Sexual Instruction, #Sexuality/Tantra
The Circling of Love Energy
The energy circle as an image can help you. With practice and in good time, this circle may be an outcome, but it can never be a goal. When a man is able to experience his woman as his equal and opposite, love is created in her and returned to him through breasts and heart. The second part of the magnetic circle is complete. The inner magnets and outer magnets are in accord. This unfolds by itself when a man and a woman put the basic elements in correct alignment. With magnetic rods meeting at their opposite ends, the circular energy can flow.
This circle is more likely to happen spontaneously when a man and a woman are in love. If they are not in love, it will be a meeting of sex centers—one positive pole with one negative pole. There will be an exchange of energy, but it will be linear energy, not circular. This is the reason why sex without love is never very satisfying.
Femininity, arising through inner awareness, is magically magnetic. The inner focus, the joy of resting within herself, compels the male, who is equal and opposite in every way. A man will feel himself overwhelmingly and irresistibly drawn across a room to a certain woman. Suddenly there is a space, a vacuum, a receptacle into which his energy can flow effortlessly. In man a deep restfulness and satisfaction arises when his energy is received and absorbed and returned to him. Woman, in being loved, becomes love as the heart center grows more and more vibrant. Orgasmic states begin to arise when you relax into electromagnetic cooperation within and between female and male bodies.
The Seven Chakras
The positive and negative poles also fit into the esoteric system of the seven energy centers (chakras) that are present in the body. These are connected to five further energy centers that bridge us with universal consciousness, the energy of creation. The first energy center is located in the perineal/genital area of the body. The second, sometimes called the
hara,
is a few centimeters below the navel. The third is the solar plexus. The fourth is the heart. The fifth is in the throat. Sixth is the “third eye” between the two eyebrows. The seventh is at the top of the head and is called the crown chakra.
In the female body the first chakra is negative (vagina), the second positive, the third negative, the fourth positive (breasts), the fifth negative, the sixth positive, the seventh negative. The male body is opposite, starting with the first chakra as positive (penis), alternating upward with the fourth chakra as negative (heart).
The Healing Power of Magnetism
Magnets basically create order around them by aligning objects in their presence. You no doubt remember the earliest school science experiments
demonstrating this. When iron filings are scattered on a sheet of a paper with a magnet lying underneath, the magnet demonstrates the field around it as the particles align themselves with the flow of magnetic energy between the positive and negative poles. When two magnets are placed apart under the paper with opposite poles facing each other, you can see the magnetic field in the circle of iron filings between the magnets themselves. In addition, the overall magnetic field surrounding the two magnets is infinitely greater than the field formed around a single magnet.
Plants and animals respond to a magnetic flow of energy through them that is induced by magnets. Today the use of magnets for their healing properties is becoming more and more respected.
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They can be worn, for instance, as insoles, wrist bands, or kidney belts.
Healing occurs because magnets provoke the magnetic flow of energy through the
body. For example, photographs of unhealthy blood will initially show the individual cells in a random and chaotic arrangement. A second photo taken after a week of magnet therapy will show a semblance of alignment emerging between the cells of the body tissue. A week later again, the tissue will show an increasing order and formation developing in the cellular arrangement. The subject usually feels a relief in symptoms and an increase in well-being.
With all of this understanding of magnetic energies, the inner human magnet remains underdeveloped and unexplored. This is a sad state of affairs because the source of the orgasmic experience is precisely the same magnetic streaming between the female and male aspects within us. As these poles are gradually brought back into action and reestablished, energy organically flows between the positive and negative, bringing the body into a rare state of vibration. Realigning these magnetic poles in our bodies is a healing process in itself, and it starts with beginning to respect the feminine polarity within. Instead of playing out a male idea of how a woman is, our healing comes from being an actual woman: allowing ourselves to fall into the female element of receptivity and absorption—in other words, more being and less doing. With this
being
we discover what happens in the body when we focus on the vagina
and the breasts. In conventional sex the vagina and breasts are sorely misused and this is affecting woman’s orgasmic capacity. Right attention to the breasts and the vagina will be our focus in the next two chapters.
Tantric Inspiration
How to manage it [ecstasy]? Out of this question the whole science of Tantra was born. How to do it? It can be done. It cannot be done
with
the beloved outside—it cannot be done
without
the beloved outside, remember that too, because the first glimpse comes from the beloved outside. It is only a glimpse, but with it comes new vision that, deep down inside yourself, there are both the energies present—male and female.
Man is bisexual—every man, every woman. Half of you is male and half of you is female. If you are a woman, then the female part is on top and the male part is hidden behind, and vice versa. Once you have become aware of this, then a new work starts: your inner woman and inner man can have meeting and that meeting can remain absolute. There is no need to come back from the peak. But the first vision comes from the outer.
Hence Tantra uses the outer woman, the outer man, as part of inner work. Once you have become aware that you have a woman inside you or a man inside you, then the work takes on a totally new quality, it starts moving in a new dimension. Now the meeting has to happen inside; you have to allow your inner woman and man to meet.
O
SHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,
T
HE
B
OOK OF
W
ISDOM
Awareness and Sensitivity Exercises
Partner Exercise to Awaken Polarity
This exercise can be done complete in itself or as a preparation for making love. Give yourselves at least thirty minutes.
Sit opposite one another on cushions situated a little distance apart so that you are without physical contact. (If sitting cross-legged on the floor is too uncomfortable, sit upright on straight-backed chairs facing one another.) Close your eyes. Inwardly tune in to your positive poles: woman tune to the breasts and man tune to the penis.
After a while imagine your breasts are radiating energy and light and warmth toward your man’s chest and heart. Your partner should imagine himself receiving the love into his heart and at the same time channeling energy out through his penis, radiating warmth, light, and love. Imagine you receive all this energy and absorb it into your vagina. The imagination can be supported by radiating outward on the out breath (woman–breasts, man–penis) and absorbing on the in breath (woman–vagina, man–heart). You can breathe out together and in together.
After a while, begin to have eye contact with receptive, soft vision and continue circling the energy as before. After five to ten minutes, you (woman) can move across the space and sit with your legs wrapped around your man’s waist while sitting in his lap. (This is called the yab yum position; cushions can be used to support the woman.) This brings genitals into closer proximity and the breasts and chest into correspondence. Again, keep working with your imagination, and this time you can experiment with synchronizing your breathing—as man breathes in through the heart, woman breathes out through the heart; as woman breathes in through the vagina, man breathes out through the penis. This practice will intensify the sensation of a circulating force between the bodies. If you do not feel this right away, after a time you will probably begin to feel it happening because energy follows imagination.
If yab yum is not comfortable to sustain for a period of time, you can move into standing position, or if yab yum is not at all possible the whole exercise can be done standing, to great effect. Standing allows for greater dance and fluidity of movement between bodies.
Spontaneously the wish to be penetrated may arise, and if your man is willing, continue with making love. Otherwise, when there is a sense of completion in the exchange, very, very slowly disconnect and move away from each other while maintaining eye contact. You can complete with a bow of the head with hands folded in a prayer gesture, or rest your foreheads together and then lie down on the bed or floor, side by side without contact (holding hands at most), and each rest within yourself for several minutes, keeping awareness on the inner streamings of the body (the magnetic rod).
Tantric Meditation
Peace Pervading the Armpits
Lie in a relaxed position as suggested at the end of chapter 1 for twenty minutes or more. Close your eyes, taking your awareness into your body. Start just between the two armpits, and with your total attention “pervade an area between the armpits into great peace.”
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Forget your whole body; remember the heart area between the two armpits and your chest and feel it filling with great peace. When the body is more relaxed, peace automatically happens in your heart; it becomes more silent and harmonious. Done frequently, this practice will establish peace within you and make you feel more independent, and love will be more about giving—you have so much peace you want to share it. You will be returning to a source in yourself that is always there.
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The Breasts: Key to Orgasm
T
he breasts have the power to bring woman to the deepest of orgasmic experiences. The breasts are central to a woman’s experience of sexual ecstasy, not merely an appendage for breast-feeding and without implication for the female energy system.
It is true that, for most of us, breasts are not directly associated with female orgasm, although certainly many women are aware of an internal hook-up to the vagina that is quite sensational. This connection between breasts and vagina happens via the magnetic rod (as explained in the previous chapter), the ultimate source of orgasmic states.
Orgasmic moments transpire when essential elements align themselves. Tantra is based on the science of the body and its energy centers, with their electromagnetic polarities. On the psychological level an individual requires a certain innocence. Heightened states are not accidental, although people may accidentally slip into a heightened state naturally perhaps once in a lifetime, without actually knowing how it happened. With information about the role of the breasts in orgasm, a woman has more command over her orgasmic experiences. She can consciously begin to create those experiences, rather than leaving it all to man’s actions or to chance.
Energy Raised from a Positive Pole
The significance of the breasts in female orgasm is enormous in that, generally speaking,
energy can only be raised from a positive pole,
not a negative pole.
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This means that energy is awakened or activated from the positive pole
before
it flows toward the negative. In the female body, sexual energy flows
from
the breasts
to
the vagina. When breasts are pulsating with aliveness, the spontaneous overflowing of energy results in a vibrational resonance in the vagina, the opposite pole. Only when the vagina is vibrating in this magnetic response is it truly available for the beautiful event of penetration; is it truly sensitive and perceptive. A woman will experience a genuine
yes,
a deep willingness to make love, a willingness not only to yield and give in but to participate fully as an equal and opposite—which changes everything, as if lifting sex to a higher octave.
The sexual route conventionally taken is very different because in it the vagina is regarded as the doorway and is approached directly (this will be discussed further in chapter 6). Indeed, while the vagina is the physical entry point, to energetically enter a woman the breasts must be given priority and consciously incorporated into the sexual exchange. Breasts are quite often ignored by women and men; certainly they are misunderstood in terms of their true role in accessing female sexual energy. If a man is into breasts, more often than not he uses them for
his
stimulation, to turn
him
self
on, to fulfill some fantasy of his own, often treating the breasts very roughly in the process. The effect can even be to turn a woman off, causing
her whole body energy to shrink into an unwillingness for sex. The naked truth
is that regardless of the appearance of a woman’s breasts or a man’s personal
interest in them, breasts represent the key to women’s sexual fulfillment through orgasm.
Sadly, many women carry complexes about their breasts for any of a hundred and one reasons—the size, the shape, the hang, the fullness, the balance, the texture, plus all the variations possible in nipples. This lack of self-acceptance creates a tension and distances a woman from the delicate inner sensations present in her breasts. Emotional injuries, heartbreaks, and childhood wounds also can create energetic shields across the positive
pole. At first these tensions and repressed feelings can make it more difficult for a woman to feel into her breasts, until she learns to access the power lying within them.
When a woman allows this magnetic phenomenon to come into play, she begins to truly enjoy sex—sometimes for the first time. Not with the feeling of having to fulfill a duty, submitting and enduring it, but with a joyfulness that enables her to flower into a dancing sexual being. As the breasts are brought more into the sexual forefront, orgasms will happen more easily. Many different kinds of delightful orgasms will follow from the breasts being lavishly included in lovemaking. Naturally, this involves man—how he caresses and touches the breasts—but only to a certain extent. At the deepest level it involves a woman’s interest in herself as an expression of the feminine.
You are encouraged to start feeling and sensing your breasts from within. Do not be distracted by how they look from the outside, but instead focus your attention on the breasts themselves.
It is best to keep attention on both breasts at the same time.
Avoid long periods of focus on
one breast only. Spread your awareness over both of them: feel them,
love them, accept them as they are. Negative thoughts separate you from their
feminine qualities. Place your attention on the breasts, not with fierce
concentration, but more with ease and relaxation, with the sense of melting
into
the breasts, merging with them, becoming one with them. Massage them, hold them, feel them from within at any time during the day—as you set about working on the computer, cooking, gardening, or whatever you happen to be doing. Whenever you remember, make an effort to sense the breasts
from within
. And especially enter the breasts with your awareness while making love. You will have to remind yourself of this again and again, as our attention tends to stray easily to other things. The breasts are the gateway for woman and need to be showered with all the attention they can get—in and out of bed.
Even though most women do realize that the breasts are connected with sexual pleasure, few really grasp how central and how intimately linked their breasts are to full involvement in the sexual act and orgasm. As mentioned earlier, fresh insight into the breasts puts a woman in a
better position to orchestrate events to her advantage, so as to let things flow in accordance with her feminine nature. A surprising number of women tell me that they always knew, intuitively, the truth about not forcing orgasm and about the role of the breasts in orgasm. Because of the pressures of conventional sex they had overridden their inner voices, not trusting themselves or their bodies. Some women have stood before me, eyes brimming with tears in the awesome realization that for twenty or thirty years they had been acting in direct opposition to their very essence. They feel so much time lost, opportunities missed, misunderstanding, and unhappiness as a consequence.
Fortunately, as far as the body is concerned, it is
never too late
to start changing our approach. The body welcomes all respect given to it, and in acknowledgment responds in beautiful and unexpected ways. The body is innately sensitive (our own insensitive and callous ways with it notwithstanding) and extremely responsive to
awareness.
Awareness means the sensing of the body from within; it means getting in there and feeling oneself on a cellular level.
Some women say they find it quite easy to sense the energies and sensations present in the heart area but not in the breasts, and they wonder if it is favorable to go directly to the heart. Even if the heart center is easily available, I nonetheless suggest that they tune in to and slowly awaken the life energy of the breasts. Ignoring the breasts and going directly to the heart may seem the easiest strategy, but it is a rejection of the essential feminine nature. Breasts access exquisitely delicate energies and surround a woman with the fragrance of femininity. Through the breasts the heart center is activated. In a sense a woman does not have to concern herself directly with the heart center. The heart opens as a by-product of the breasts becoming alive, and through this expansion of energy woman becomes increasingly loving, feminine, graceful, and elegant.
When you first begin to experience the breasts in a different way it is possible that some sadness or tears will surface. This is not at all unusual and is actually a good sign—a sign of your positive pole beginning to cleanse and free itself of earlier unexpressed feelings from hurts and heart-breaks
that have accumulated energetically around the heart center. These tensions are released and the body purified automatically, through its intrinsic healing capacity, when a woman begins to amplify the positive energy present in her breasts. In this framework of cleansing, any tears and crying are to be welcomed, not shunned. Allowing them can bring profound healing of earlier unresolved issues. With each layer of tension that leaves the breasts and heart there will be a noticeable increase in the sensitivity
and receptivity of the breasts. Some women carry a sensation that they describe
as feeling like a metal plate of some kind across the heart. Energetically such
a shield exists, but it is quick to melt when the environment is favorable. Past tensions can show up for release at any time—before, during, or after making love—so maintain an openness to yourself as much as possible.
The two nipples are the highlights of the positive pole, super alive and sensitive. Nipples have the ability to emit and radiate energy, making them similar to the head of the male penis.
Always bring both nipples into
the focus of your attention
when feeling into the breasts as a whole. The nipple should be in the foreground of your awareness. Nipples are extraordinarily, deliciously sensitive and should be treated with love and respect.
Often nipples are twisted and turned roughly, like a couple of buttons. This can be very stimulating in effect, especially when a woman is younger. As women get older (and numerous women have reported this to me), they frequently find themselves rejecting almost all touching of the breasts, particularly of the nipples. Breasts and nipples that once were gloriously receptive and alive, that loved to be touched and played with, slowly become hypersensitive and overcharged, or deadened. A form of repulsion sets in because the rightful place of breasts (in the role of awakening female sexual energy) is not granted to them. In time a woman’s instinctive reaction is to turn away from man’s hands as they approach the vicinity of the breasts.
Touching the Breasts
Creating new experiences naturally involves the cooperation of the man to a certain extent, so encourage your man to touch your breasts in a way that feels good to you. Help him learn how to treat the breasts with love and awe. Some men are hesitant to touch the breasts because of earlier reactions and rejections, either by you or by a previous woman. This makes it really necessary to show him
exactly how
to touch your breasts in the way
you best
like your breasts to be touched, as suggested in the partner exercise at the end of the chapter. This is an intimate and beautiful step in taking responsibility for your own sexual expression. Show your man how to touch (or suck) your nipples and how to touch your breasts, separately and together. A man’s two hands are not always available while making love. If only one of your man’s hands is at your breast, touch the other breast yourself to give a feeling of balance.
Seek always that your man touch you in a way that
makes your body energy expand
. This sensation becomes the guideline for how to evaluate touch—look for an expansion of energy rather than excitement or stimulation. Avoid types of touch that create a contraction, withdrawal, or closing of your energy body. Light (and extremely featherlight), caressing touches have the effect of expanding and bringing sparkling sensations, while a heavy touch can reduce and deaden the pleasant sensations already present.
Touch your own breasts as often as possible while making love, any time it feels right or when you wish to deepen the connection to your inner experience. Touch your breasts simply and in the way that
you
most enjoy. This is the beauty of self-touch—you can do it however
you
like it, which brings a certain relaxation.
Cupping each breast lightly with your whole hand is a simple, loving way to touch the breasts. You can also cross your arms and cup each breast with the opposite hand (the right breast in the left hand and the left breast in the right hand). Keep your hands and fingers relaxed and open, shaping to the form of the breast. Give the breasts space; avoid squashing them too much. The palm of your hand automatically touches the nipples, which is a good thing because it will intensify the experience of the nipples. Soft
caressing and stroking of the breasts is very nice, and especially erotic are the sides of the breasts as you lightly stroke upward from the armpit or side of the ribcage toward your nipples. Cupping and vibrating your breasts very gently from time to time also works wonders! Whenever you like, lightly stroke or squeeze the nipples just enough to produce fine sensations. A little saliva enhances the nipples’ sensitivity. As you keep touching yourself in different suitable ways, you will feel the breast and heart awakening, filling up with energy and creating a pleasing response in the vagina.
There is another advantage to touching oneself that is completely unrelated to sensation. It can easily happen when another person touches us that we unconsciously and reflexively go on guard in fear of a touch that is uncaring or painful. Memories of these kinds of touch can come up. This fear, this tension, this contraction blocks the ability to deeply receive from the touching hand, to absorb the warmth and energy and love. With touching oneself there is no likelihood of this withdrawal happening.
Perhaps you feel a bit shy or self-conscious about touching your own breasts in front of your lover. But breasts have been the domain of the man until now, and it’s time for a change. The effects are surely worth the risks. Gather courage and begin to express yourself in a different way.
Take risks each time you make love and you will be rewarded with love.
Every occasion you make love is an opportunity to experiment and explore, to check things out to see where your curiosity brings you. It really is best
not
to wait for
next time
to be adventurous. This postponement will continue as days all too quickly accumulate into years. If you wish to get out of the male-oriented sexual routine of today—and it is possible—you absolutely must take risks. Don’t be overawed by man, by what he thinks or what he likes. Woman has been pleasing man in sex and moving away from her female expression for far too long. It is time for woman to take her place as the true counterpart in lovemaking that she is, and begin to please her body and cooperate with its inner mechanisms. Lucky is the man whose life will be enriched through her adventurous spirit.