The Beginning of Us (191 page)

“The area code is from a small town not too far from here – Denning.”

When I hear the name of the town, my face pales and my stomach drops. That’s where Reid grew up. The feeling that I was betraying him before is nothing compared to what I’m feeling now. I know how much he hates his past; he’s got more than enough reason to do so.

Bryan notices my reaction. “Are you okay, Maddy? You don’t look so hot.”

I try to keep my composure, knowing that it will falter more as he tells me what else he’s learned. “Yeah, Bryan I’m fine. I’m just going to get some water.”

I just need a minute to process all of this, so I walk across the room to the small water cooler by the door. I could stop this whole thing now. I don’t
need
to hear what Bryan has to say. I could just leave it alone and let Reid deal with it. And then an idea takes root in my mind. What if it’s Alex? There’s no way I can let this go now that she’s in my head. She’s a horrible human being – the worst kind there is – and she’s calling Reid after all these years. Suddenly, this deep-seated need to protect Reid is born, and I know I have to get to the bottom of this. Walking back to Bryan, I feel stronger – ready to face the truth.

“ Okay, I’m ready now. Sorry about that,” I apologize, but Bryan just looks at me with that “don’t be ridiculous” face.

“All right, figuring out the person attached to the number was a bit difficult since it was a cell phone, but with the new online reverse look-up interfaces out there, it wasn’t too difficult.”

I’m lost. If it’s more than checking my email or reading up on some of the gossip sites, I don’t understand it.

Since he doesn’t want to make me feel like an idiot, he just laughs a little at the glazed-over look that must be on my face and continues, “So anyway, I found out that the number belongs to Katelyn Donovan.”

I hadn’t realized it, but my heart stopped beating, waiting for him to say a name. When he didn’t say Alex, or any kind of variation of the name, it started beating again. I let out a huge breath that I didn’t realize I was holding.

I can only imagine the emotions that Bryan sees fleeting across my face, but, honestly, at this point, I just don’t care. It’s not her; it’s not Alex. Thank God.

“After I found out
her
name,” he pauses here to shoot me a wry look, “and that
she
wasn’t Mike, I figured I might as well go ahead and find out a little bit more about her.”

“You mean you knew this whole time that it wasn’t about me and Mike, and you didn’t say anything?”

He doesn’t respond; he just smiles a small, cute smile. God, he’s so much like Mel it’s not even funny.

“Yes, I knew, Maddy. But I also knew that if you came to me and didn’t want anyone else to know, then this must be pretty important to you. I didn’t want you to have to worry about any of it, so I did what I promised I would, and I looked into her for you.” 

“Thank you, Bryan, so much. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. So what did you find?”

He clicks away on the computer and pulls up some files, a few pictures, and her Facebook page.

“Even though the number is from Denning, it doesn’t look like she lives there anymore. She’s actually a college freshman at SUNY New Paltz. She was raised by her father, Joseph. Her parents divorced when she was in middle school, and her mom skipped out. From what I could find, it looks like her mom never came back into the picture.”

I look at the screen where he’s got her picture open, and she’s beautiful. She kind of reminds me that blonde bitch who was hanging all over Reid back when we first met. But she’s different somehow. There’s a sweet innocence to her face; she looks like she has some class and self-respect. Hell, that’ll make any girl look more beautiful than that tramp.

I can’t help but think that while Bryan did find out a ton of information, the most important being that it’s not Alex calling him and that he’s not cheating – well, that can’t be eliminated completely, but the fact that she lives three hours away from here makes it highly unlikely – I still feel lost. I mean, what do I have? All I’ve got is her name and what college she goes to. That’s not much to work with.

Bryan starts shutting down the computer he was using. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find out more, Maddy, but honestly it doesn’t look like there’s much to find. What are you going to do about it all?”

“I’m not sure, Bryan. I honestly haven’t thought about that part. I can’t exactly confront Reid. What would I say? ‘I was snooping around your phone because I thought you were cheating on me, even though you’ve professed your love to me time and time again. Oh, and you’ve also told me things about you that you’ve never told anyone else’ -- wouldn’t want to leave that out. I really got myself in a mess here, didn’t I?”

I can see him mentally taking stock of the whole thing. “It doesn’t look pretty, Maddy.” He
runs
his hand through his ink-black hair and then
strokes
his thumb and forefinger along his jaw as he’s trying to come up with some kind of solution. “Do you want my honest opinion, Maddy?”

I hate it when someone asks if you want to know their “honest” opinion. It means they’re just going to tell you something that you already know but you just don’t want to admit to yourself.

I nod at him, cuing him to go on with what he thinks I should do.

“Talk to Reid. You’re in the wrong here, but if this girl is trying to call him, something must be going on. And you’re not going to feel any better about all of this until you tell him. You can’t build a relationship on lies. Don’t get me wrong -- I don’t think what you did is a deal-breaker, but he deserves to know. More importantly, you need to deal with the fact that your mind and your heart immediately went to the assumption that Reid was cheating. You have to figure out a way to work all of this out, and you need to do that with Reid, not with me digging up information on some girl he might not even know.”

So apparently Bryan is an expert in relationships in addition to being one in computers.

I hate to admit that he’s right, but, well, he is. “I know you’re right, but I’m scared. Scared of how he’ll react, of who this girl is, of what will happen to us. But I know I have to talk to him -- it’s the only way to get to the bottom of it. Thanks again, Bry. I owe you one.”

Walking back to my suite, I still feel like crap over everything. I’m not in any way closer to figuring out what the hell I’m going to. I just know that I want to crawl into bed and sleep. Finals are kicking my ass, and I still have this huge poetry paper that isn’t going to write itself. I just don’t want to do any of it. What I want is to bury my head in the sand and forget about the world around me. I want to go back to last weekend and not pick up Reid’s phone.

How on earth can I bring up Reid’s past to him and make him confront it even more than he already has? What right do I even have to do that to him? He trusted me, and I broke that trust. I know more than anyone what it meant for him to open up to me like that. Thinking about Reid and what I’ve done to him, all without him even knowing, makes me want to be with him. It makes me want to curl up in his arms and let the world fall away. I’m pretty sure he’s got his last final tomorrow morning, but I take a chance of interrupting him and give him a call.

Of course he picks up on the first ring.

“Hey, baby.” His voice instantly calms my aching soul, and I have a renewed sense that maybe everything will work out. “How’s your paper going?” The man remembers everything.  Okay, fine, not everything. What is it with guys and remembering to put the toilet seat down? I think it’s in their DNA or something.

“Ugh, I haven’t even started yet, but I know what I want to write. Once I sit down and actually focus on it, I’ll be fine. How’s studying going?” This kind of mundane conversation soothes me.

“Great, actually. I’m just about wrapping up. What are you up to?”

Of course he would drop everything to spend time with me. He’s awesome like that.

“Nothing, really.”

“Is everything all right, Maddy? You sound off.” His voice is laced with concern, and it crushes my heart.

“Yeah, I’m fine, babe. I promise.” All of a sudden my desire to see him, to just be in the same room with him, is overwhelming. “I guess I just miss you. It’s so lame, I know, but I haven’t seen you since Sunday and it’s Wednesday night, and well, since we started dating, that’s the longest we’ve gone without seeing each other. Texts only go so far. I miss you.” My emotions are on the surface, and despite everything I’ve done wrong, I just want him to make it better.

I know I don’t deserve his comfort, but right now I need it, and I’m going to take it while I still can.

“So can I come over, then? I don’t want to keep you from your paper, so I won’t stay long, but I’d love nothing more than to see you.”

If he were any sweeter, he’d give me a cavity, for crying out loud.

“That would be perfect, Reid. The paper isn’t due until tomorrow afternoon anyway, and my morning is completely free, so you’re not keeping me from anything.” I know that if I don’t reassure him that he’s not keeping me from my paper, he’ll be worrying about it all night. He’s beyond sweet, but he’s also neurotic as hell.

“Perfect. I’ll grab some takeout and a movie, and I’ll be there in like an hour. Love you.” He sounds so happy and I just can’t help but feel lighter knowing that he’ll be here soon.

“I love you, too, baby. See you in a bit.”

As I end our call, I clear my brain of everything that’s happened over the last few days. Right now, none of that exists. Right now, it’s just me and Reid. Everything else can fade away, because no matter what happens, I will always love him, and I have to believe that he will always love me.

There’s just too much pain involved in thinking otherwise.

Chapter 15

Reid

Sushi, a movie that’s not a chick flick and rose in hand, I knock on Maddy’s door. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her choice in movies; I just wanted something a little different tonight. Besides, I think I’m one romantic comedy away from having to hand over my guy card.

I’m in awe of the sight before me as Maddy opens the door. She’s wearing a really short pair of shorts. I’m no expert in women’s fashion, but they really just look like glorified underwear. I love them instantly. The thin tank top she’s wearing isn’t bad, either – not bad at all.

“Hey, baby. I got sushi. I know you said you were craving some the other day.”

She smiles back at me. I think it knocks her out that I actually listen when she speaks, and then I go ahead and remember what she says.

I hand her the rose I brought for her, and she rolls her eyes.

“You don’t have to get me flowers every time you come here.” She holds it up to her nose and inhales the sweet scent. The deep red of the petals makes her eyes shine.

“Sweetheart, you said I was the first person to buy you flowers, and I want to be the last person. So, yes, I have to give you a flower every time I come here because I want you to be reminded that it will always only be me who loves you.” I bend down and plant a soft kiss on her lips, grazing the knuckles of my free hand across her delicate cheek. Her eyes roll again, but this time out of pleasure instead of annoyance.

When the kiss breaks, I playfully slap her ass and direct her into the little kitchenette. We set up our plates, grab a few drinks, and make our way over to the couch.

“What are we watching tonight?” she asks as she walks over to the DVD player.

“
The Departed
.”

She shoots me a disappointed look that I’ve brought over what she calls a “boy movie.” She’s so freaking cute, though.

“Just give it a chance. You might like it. It’s actually good.” I know it’s pointless to try to convince her, but she relents and sits down next to me.

“ Okay, fine -- you win. So what’s it about?”

“It’s about the mob and the Boston Police Department. They’re both trying to find a rat who is feeding the other side information. It won Best Picture a few years ago.”

She seems to shift away from me a little at the description.

“Don’t worry, babe. It’s not too bloody. I’ll hold you if you get grossed out.”

I wink and smile at her. Flirting always seems to loosen her up, but she’s still tense. I pull her close to me and wrap my arms around her as the movie starts. She doesn’t say anything. She just rests her head against my shoulder and cuddles into me. Before long, her head is on my lap, and I hear her yawning. I start to play with her hair, knowing that it relaxes her. It relaxes me, too. About thirty minutes into the movie, she is out cold, lightly snoring away. I don’t have the heart to move her. Plus, I like having her on my lap like this. I watch the rest of the movie by myself, trying not to disturb her every time I have to lean forward to get a bite of my dinner.

As the final credits roll on the movie, I start to move my legs to try to get some feeling back into them. The movement causes Maddy to wake, and she just looks up at me all dreamily.

“Hey, sleepy. I guess we can officially say that you’re not a Scorsese fan.” That comment earns an eye roll. This is why I love her. Within two minutes of waking up, she’s cheeky.