A smile of feminine power spread across her lips as she closed her door in his face.
***
From his bedroom window, Erik watched Michelle bend her tall frame in order to get into Precious’ dollhouse. It used to be a breeze for Cassie who’d been a mere five feet, two inches tall, he noted with mild amusement.
Judging from the chaos in the family room, he guessed Michelle and Precious had been cooped up in the house for most of the rainy day. His daughter could be a handful, and he was sure Michelle was relieved the sun had finally come out.
His house was starting to feel like a home again, he thought, loosening his tie and pulling it from around his neck. It felt good to have a family to come home to, even if it wasn’t a real one. It was nice to have an adult to talk with at dinner, someone with whom to share his day, whether it was good or bad. And when it was bad, Michelle’s tantalizing smile soothed away his cares. She was bringing him back to life, making him feel again, even if she didn’t know it.
What he appreciated most though was what she was doing for his daughter. She loved Precious. He heard it in her voice and saw it in her eyes each time she interacted with her. What man wouldn’t be drawn to a woman who was that devoted his child?
Erik turned from the window and walked into the direction of the bathroom. He knew full well that it was much more than Michelle’s devotion to his daughter that endeared her to him.
Each time he delivered a baby, he imagined it was his child he’d taken from Michelle’s womb. He wanted to make lots of babies with her. He wanted to watch them suckle at her breasts and hear them call her Mommy. He wanted to see the love in her eyes as she tucked them into bed and kissed them good night. But he was a long way from bringing those fantasies to life.
He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, last night’s conversation with his mother fueling his thoughts. Cassie wanted him to fall in love and marry again. That knowledge should relieve his guilt, but sadly it produced the opposite affect. If he’d known Cassie believed some psychic’s premonition that she would die young, he would not have fought with her so often, and especially not that night. He would have waited until morning as she’d asked.
But morning never came. He was stuck in that night, that moment when he heard the unforgettable thud of the car colliding with her body. He would give anything to take back the last unkind words he’d thrown at her, but he couldn’t.
Ever
.
He would carry that load of guilt and stupidity for the rest of his life.
Knowing that, how could he ever expect to be happily in love again?
CHAPTER NINE
Michelle was trying not to grin too widely as she descended the stairs. Anybody looking at her might think she’d hit the jackpot and was trying hard to keep it a secret. In her opinion, the joy that flooded her heart at the moment far outweighed the value of any million-dollar jackpot.
Last night, while she and Precious were watching
Ratatouille
in the family room, Erik had surprisingly walked in, plodded down on the sectional, planted his bare feet on the ottoman and dove into the bowl of popcorn she and Precious were sharing.
Except for the initial “Hi, Daddy,” from Precious, who immediately snuggled up next to him, nobody said anything, yet it felt like a thousand conversations were going on around them. Michelle had never seen
Ratatouille
before and had honestly been enjoying the movie. After Erik joined them, she found her gaze wandering off to his masculine physique silhouetted against the sofa and wondering what it would feel like to snuggle up to his other side, lay her cheek against his chest, and listen to the beating of his heart beneath her ears.
It was at one of those precarious moments that he turned his head and gazed at her, sending a spark of eroticism bursting through the air. From then on, Michelle had kept her eyes on the television even though she’d lost her ability to follow the story line.
When the movie ended, they’d gone to the kitchen for lemonade and some homemade bread pudding. Afterwards, Precious had demanded that they both tuck her into bed. Michelle had gently declined as the situation had begun to feel too much like a family affair. Her love for the little girl and her strong feelings for her employer were getting way out of control. She had to pull back on her reins. But it was not easy saying no to Precious, and the little girl’s persistence finally won out.
Except for one little glitch in the form of a phone call while they were putting away the dishes, she had to say that spending quality time with Erik and Precious last night was the most amazing experience she’d ever had. It was the kind of family she wanted one day.
By the time she and Erik left Precious’ room, an intense sexual tension had developed between them. Neither said a word as they stood in the hallway outside her bedroom. She remembered the smoldering flame in Erik’s eyes and the unsteady rise and fall of his chest as his gaze roved hungrily up and down her scantily clad body.
She’d never been more conscious of his virile appeal, and had hoped he’d drag her down the hall to his bed and make sweet, slow love to her all night long. But he didn’t.
He’d groaned, raked his fingers through his brown curls and said, “Go to bed, Michelle. Just go to bed,” before strolling down the hall in the direction of the master suite.
Their little arrangement had become complicated beyond reason, Michelle thought as she walked through the dining room. Something had to give. It was unrealistic to think that either one of them could resist this kind of temptation for five years while living under the same roof.
“Good morning, Mrs. Hayes,” Michelle said as she sauntered into the kitchen. “Wait, a minute.” She frowned as her eyes took in the slices of bread, turkey, cheese, tomatoes, and lettuce on the counter. “What are you doing here? This is your day off. Don't tell me you’re getting senile in your old age,” she added with a ripple of mirth.
“Senile? Me? That would be the day.” Mrs. Hayes chuckled as she spread mayo and mustard on two slices of bread. “The doctor asked me to prepare a picnic basket.”
“Picnic?” Michelle’s happy bubble erupted. Erik hadn’t mentioned a picnic last night. Her mind began to reel as she recalled the unwelcome phone call while she, Erik, and Precious were cleaning up after their snacks. She’d taken a quick glance at the LCD and felt a pang in her heart when she’d seen Dr. Ashley’s name flashing in front of her. She’d been certain Erik would ignore it, but he’d picked it up, excused himself, and taken the call in his study.
Michelle wondered now if his chat with Dr. Ashley was the reason he’d sent her to bed instead of giving in to the desires that were so evident in his eyes. If that were the case, she was grateful for his remarkable power of restraint. She would have felt like a bigger fool if she’d allowed him to make love to her last night when he was clearly in a relationship with another woman. She could kick herself for opening up her heart, for allowing it to engage in silly hopeless fantasies.
Her mind flashed back to the day in his office when she’d told him that Dr. Ashley wasn’t his type and that he needed a real woman. He’d neither confirmed nor denied it. Real woman or not, Michelle wasn’t Erik’s type either. He’d made that clear the first time he laid eyes on her. Even though he’d kissed her with a hunger and passion that superseded anything she’d ever experienced, she had to remember that men like Erik LaCrosse did not fall in love with women like her. They got curious about them, and depending on the level of interest, they either satisfied it or backed away from it. His level of his curiosity about her was obviously low.
She was the nanny, not the mother, the wife, nor the girlfriend, and she needed to remember her place in his house.
Michelle watched Mrs. Hayes wrap up the sandwiches and place them, along with three servings of homemade brownies, into a wicker basket. She got bottles of apple juice and lemonade from the refrigerator and put them in a small cooler. Fruit followed—grapes, apples, strawberries...
Feeling the tears about to burst, Michelle spun out of the kitchen. As she turned the corner from the dining room, she collided with the cause of her frustrations. “Excuse me,” she said, earnestly avoiding his eyes as she shrugged his steadying hands from her shoulders.
“I was looking for you,” Erik said, smiling down at her.
“You found me. What can I do for you, Dr. LaCrosse? Would you like me to get Precious up and dressed?”
Erik frowned at her wooden tone, confused at her cold behavior, especially after last night—the movie, the snack, the fun, putting Precious to bed—the way it used to be when Cassie was alive. The only difference was that he and Cassie would end the night making love before falling asleep in each other’s arms. He’d been so close last night, so close to scooping skinny Michelle up and taking her to his bed. He’d had to call on everything decent inside him to resist the sweet temptation in her sexy black eyes, to control his ferocious craving for her.
“Did I do something to upset you, Michelle?” He tried to read her face, but she turned and hurried away from him. Lost in a sea of confusion, Erik threw his hands in the air and continued in the opposite direction.
“The basket’s ready, Doctor,” Mrs. Hayes said as he entered the kitchen.
Erik picked up the basket and cooler from the counter. A rueful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Did you tell Michelle about the trip, Mrs. Hayes?”
“No, Sir. But she seemed a little nettled when I mentioned the picnic. Guess you didn’t tell her she was invited.”
So that’s what it was, Erik thought, grinning as he left the kitchen. She cared. She really did care for him. He placed the basket and cooler on the dining table and hurried after Michelle who was halfway up the stairs by now. “Wait, Michelle.” He grabbed her upper arm and felt her tense under his palm.
She was livid. And he was hard.
“What do you want?” she muttered.
“To talk with you.” He spun her around and felt an instant squeezing in his chest when he saw the tears shimmering in her eyes.
“So talk.” She narrowed her eyes in the same way Precious did when she was angry with him.
Females
, Erik thought with fascination. Just when a man thought he’d figured one out, she proved him a fool. And yes, he was on a one-way street to Fooldom for this particular female, so tough and streetwise on the outside, but a delicate little wildflower on the inside. He liked that about her. He liked it a lot. She needed protection, a large dose of TLC, and he felt honored to be the man to provide it, even if she was totally unaware of his self-appointed post to be her knight in shining armor. “What’s the matter with you? You on your period or something?”
She shook her arm free. “Erik LaCrosse, I have a life outside this house, you know. If you intend to spend the day with some woman and your daughter, you could have at least told me in advance so I could make my own plans.”
“So you’re jealous.”
“No.”
“Then why the tears?”
She swiped at them with the back of her hand. “It’s the onions.”
A rich chortling sound escaped Erik’s throat and his body shook with laughter.
His humor just seemed to incense her more, and she sent him a contemptuous glare before turning and charging up the stairs. He caught her again, around the waist this time. She tried to twist free. He lost his balance and slumped against the wall. She landed on top of him, their bodies meshing in perfect alignment.
Bold grey eyes met compelling black ones as heat ignited within and around them. Erik’s arms slowly inched their way around Michelle’s lithe body, drawing her closer to him. One hand clasped the back of her neck holding her still. He lowered his head, aiming for her inviting lips, but at the last moment, he groaned and buried his mouth into the scented hollow of her neck. He bit into her flesh until she moaned.
“Michelle... Michelle...” God, she smelled so good, felt so perfect in his arms.
Michelle remained quite still, her arms locked around his neck. The warmth of his arms was so male, so bracing, it made her heart beat erratically and noisily in her ears. Or was it his heart? Her body quivered where their sexes were pressed together. She had no desire to back away. She wished he would hold her like this, forever.
Erik reluctantly untangled their limbs. Still weak from the fiery contact, he sat on the steps and pulled her down next to him. He searched her face and looked deep into her questioning eyes. There was so much passion there and he longed to liberate those desires, just so he could fill his soul with them.
The time wasn’t right. He had no intentions of becoming involved with any woman until Cassie’s killer was found and brought to justice. He was working overtime to bring that to fruition. Several nights, he’d walked the streets of Manchester with the private investigator he’d hired, asking questions to which no one knew the answers. But he’d missed being home with Michelle and Precious, and had finally left the case in the hands of the P.I. and the police. His decision had brought him home last night to find Michelle and Precious watching a movie. It had felt like old times when he’d joined them in the family room.
“Michelle, there’s no need to be jealous of any other woman,” Erik said. “I’m taking you and Precious away for the weekend.”
“You could have told me. Asking would have been nicer. I could have had other plans, you know.” She stuck her chin out at him.
“Yes, I know. I meant to mention it last night, but I got sidetracked. I’m telling you… I mean, asking now. Do you have other plans for the weekend?” Impatience edged his voice. He would like nothing more than to take her upstairs and spread her out on his big, lonely bed. Clear up all her doubts about his feelings for her once and for all.
“No,” she answered grudgingly. “Where are we going?”
Erik rubbed his palms together then wiped them along his thighs. “To Granite Falls. My mother is ill.”