Authors: Smita Kaushik

The Girl I Last Loved (17 page)

He held her body close to his, brought his lips adjacent to her shoulders and then whispered…

“Happy birthday!”

Her body relaxed. She let out her breath as I released my grip on her. She turned slowly and punched me in the stomach. I felt weak in my knees.

“Make a wish today… that you lose some weight this year,” I bolted out of pain.

“Are you mad or what… you know how scared I got?”

She grabbed my shirt with both her hands. Anger was evident in her eyes. She stomped off and I heard the door banging.

“I just wanted to surprise you…”

“There are two types of surprises!” she said in a voice bearing annoyance.

She sat there assembling her mobile. I stood in silence.

“It isn’t working…,” she gushed out.

She spotted me with my iPad: “What are you up to now?”

“Nothing. I am just ordering a new cell phone for you.”

Her anger was gone in a split second, her face flushed and lips parted.

“You are welcome,” I said.

“Huh?”

“I know you well to tell when you are faking anger, so if a smile is lingering somewhere, bring it on.”

She smiled finally.

“As now we are at peace, can I get a coffee? It was freezing out there.”

“Only on one condition.”

“What?”

“Tell me, what was the sound coming from my bedroom window?”

“I just played a recording over there.”

“May I know how was that at all useful?”

“You will never forget this birthday!”

I came up with something though what made it worthwhile the look on her face. The peace which dawned upon her on seeing me was priceless.

I went to her room and started packing her stuff.

“What are you doing, Akash? I don’t like anyone touching my stuff.”

I looked around. Nothing was at its place. What need to be placed at study table was placed half across her double bed and half of it left for her to sleep. Accessories and bangles scattered all over the place.

“Believe me Kasam, I will do a better job if it’s about arranging.”

“Will you at least tell me why we are packing up?”

“Because the next one day you are spending with me.”

“What makes you think I have nothing better to do on my birthday?”

“Because the best time any of us ever spent was together.”

Maybe it was one of the first times I was able to accept what Kasam and I shared, in front of her. A smile on her face reflected acceptance from her side.

As she stayed at the outskirts, it was a two-hour drive to the city and it was already twelve thirty at night.

Kasam hopped on the front seat as I took the driver’s seat. She kept on tilting, half asleep.

I jerked off with the brakes. She immediately got back to her senses.

“What?” she was concerned.

“What?” I replied.

“Something is wrong with the car?”

“No something is wrong with you.”

She gave a confused look.

“Kasam, I think you should go to sleep.”

I placed a cushion in the back seat. She slid in. After placing a blanket over her, I returned back to driving. I drove to our destination without any tiredness in my body and eyes devoid of sleep.

“Kasam, let’s go,” I gently woke her up.

“Where are we?”

“You will know soon.”

We hopped in the lift.

“Hey, this looks like some corporate building.”

“It will look like, ‘because it is.”

“So, on my birthday you are getting me a permanent job? Yay!”

The lift came to a halt at the twenty-second floor.

“Whose office is this? Are we going to break in?”

She kept on throwing random questions till I took my card out and swiped us in.

“Oh my gosh! This is your office!” she faked surprise.

I swiped the card again and opened the conference hall.

“This doesn’t seem exciting at all.”

Kasam mumbled in the background.

“It will be; hand me the bag.”

In the next five minutes I clicked on the projector, sprayed two blankets over the long table and placed some cushions at the farther end.

“Care for some coffee… it’s really nice in my office.”

“Sure… make it strong.”

After handing her the coffee, I climbed on our newly created lounge area and covered half my body with the blanket.

“Hop in.”

I extended my hand to Kasam. She grabbed my hand and jumped up on to the conference table.

Letters to Juliet
screened on the projector.

“How did you know I wanted to watch this movie?”

“I knew you won’t let it go, so here is the answer…I read one of your stick notes over which it was written ‘Have to watch
Letters to Juliet
again this weekend’.”

She laid comfortably adjacent to me.

“Wow! It’s nice… so big and engrossing,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah I always thought of doing it but never got a partner in crime.”

At few moments later our hands brushed against each other. At others, our legs collided.

Sometimes she looked at me.

Sometimes I looked at her.

Sometimes we both looked at each other.

“You know Akash, I love its ending… the way he says, ‘I am madly, deeply, truly passionately in love with you’. Then the way the girl asks ‘You are?’ with so much of hope in her voice and tears in her eyes. And after a moment of silence, the girl asks him, ‘Are you going to kiss me?’ and the guy is like obviously ‘yes’. It’s beautiful… simple yet so beautiful.”

I nodded with a ‘yes’.

We watched them kiss afterwards.

She said while cuddling up in the blanket, “You know Akash, I watch so many romantic movies. Each has the same sequence. They meet. There is some problem, they part away. You can always predict the next happening. Still some scenes are enough to make you realise the beauty of love. And those moments definitely bring a smile on your lips… the smiles which stay with you.”

I immediately switched off the air conditioner, perhaps a smile lingered for a short span across her lips.

“Kasam, we should get going…,” I told her.

“Its 3:30 a.m. in the morning.”

“Yeah, that’s why,” there was conformity in my eyes.

We were on a roll again with her sleeping at the back and me driving.

Two hours later.

“Kasam,” I whispered softly in her ears.

“Kasam…”

“Kasam…?,” I kept on repeating without increasing my volume.

“Umm…,” finally she showed some recognition.

“Happy birthday…,” she smiled with her eyes still closed.

“Will you get up?”

“No,” she uttered in a honeyed sleepy tone.

“Okay, I will be waiting.”

I heard her chuckle.

She opened her eyes; it was still dark.

“Where are we?” she asked, while rubbing her eyes.

“You will know.”

She stepped outside the car with bare feet and let out a sigh on touching the cold sand.

“Are we on a beach?” she tried scanning the area.

I shrugged my shoulders. She smiled at me and grabbed my hand for support. I lifted her by the waist and placed her over the bonnet and climbed adjacent to her. She was sitting with her legs folded which she grabbed with both her hands. I was kneeling outwards with my legs hanging. She was a bit cold, so I offered her my coat. She refused. We sat there in silence. I offered my coat again and this time she wore it. To the virtue of her height, my coat didn’t at all look clumsy on her. She looked kinda cute. I checked my watch. It was almost 5:30. I inclined towards Kasam and whispered in her ears, “Look over there,” I indicated with my finger.

A streak of yellow line brightened the sky followed by several streaks. Slowly emerging from that side where rays of light…rays of hope… rays of life… slowly embracing the whole sky… leaving their impression on the dark night as well as on the waves, turned the whole sphere lustrous.

“Wow!” Kasam exclaimed.

I kept on looking at her beautiful face which glowed with the sunrays. Her eyes turned light brown. Probably she looked her most beautiful at this time. Nothing artificial; just pure Kasam in pure sunlight.

“Hey, have you seen anything this beautiful?”

“Yeah… maybe… I don’t know,” I got confused on confronting that unexpected question.

“I will help you with that,” Kasam replied.

“What?” I asked.

“C’mon,” saying this, she got down and stood in front of me.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Close your eyes,” she brushed her fingers over my face.

I closed my eyes. It was all dark.

“Now go deep in your mind. Flip through your memories and look for the most beautiful thing you ever saw.”

I followed her instructions and concentrated.

Was it the rains... Was it the roses... Was it the water gushing out of Niagara Falls… the carvings I saw in Konark temple or the
maha-arti
in Varanasi... or was it the street lights in Kyoto? These snaps flashed before my eyes and faded away.

There was a sudden outburst of lightning at the back of my eyes. Probably Kasam moved from my front. When my eyes got adjusted to the brightness I again saw a faint glitter… purple in colour… shining and then going away. I focused. That glitter became clear. I tried to find what lay beneath… the flickering became constant and it was just a dot now… a purple coloured dot… I looked for a bigger picture. There it was. Two beautiful large eyes, lying at both side of that purple dot. Whenever those eyes blinked, they looked even more delightful with the purple shadow and that
bindi
flickered with sunrays falling on to them. Soft strands of hair fluttering in front of those eyes, obstructing them for a moment and then going away before again coming back…

“So… what’s the most beautiful thing you ever saw?” I heard Kasam whisper.

“You,” I answered in my subconscious.

I immediately opened my eyes.

“What?” Kasam laughed.

“Oh! There are many of such things… let’s just leave now. I have to go to work.”

“Yeah… okay.”

There was a new-found awkwardness between us.

While driving back, I kept on looking at her. She was looking outside the window. There was a strange happiness in her face. Sometimes she even smiled.

As we drove through the outskirts while returning from Manori Beach, we saw that outside some house a coal stove was kept to let the smoke go away. A few shopkeepers were sweeping the front of their shops. That dust combined with the smoke gave a misty look which is rare to find in Mumbai. It reminded me of Lucknow’s winter.

Vegetable vendors started laying their roadside shops.

I always heard and experienced even that Mumbai never sleeps, but for the first time I was witnessing that Mumbai wakes this early.

There were few tea stands. I parked besides one.

“Do you want some tea? It will drive away the tiredness.”

“Tea would be amazing but I am not tired.”

She sat there on the side when I went ahead to grab two cups of tea.

When I was back, I offered one to her. She grabbed it with both her hands to feel the warmth like she always did. I don’t know why but it always made her look very sexy and mysterious.

I drank mine in one go while she kept on blowing on hers.

“Why do you bother having hot tea? By the time you drink, it becomes ice tea.”

She waved her hands in ‘whatever’.

When we left, there were two cups lying on the table – one in normal condition, one chewed at the edges.

When we progressed more into the posh area, I could see people jogging along the roadside. People doing yoga in the parks; some ladies carrying daily grocery; some walking to work, still in sleep. So many school buses… reminding of the old days. We reached my flat. I got ready in ten minutes and poured two bowls of cornflakes. She took another half an hour to arrive.

When she arrived, I came to know where the time went. She was clad in a light pink saree. She was wearing small diamond earrings and very few pink coloured bangles in her comparison. I wasn’t able to move at all. My eyes were fixed at her.

“You can sit. I am not looking that pretty.”

She walked with such divine elegance. I always knew her for her spontaneity. Sometimes for being experimental and many a times for being clumsy… losing things, walking hurriedly… I never knew she could do this. She carried the saree so well. Her skin looked even fairer in pink.

She came to the dining hall, walking perfectly in heels. Before settling, she arranged the end of her saree and moved all her hair to one side. I don’t know what exactly it was that made her completely different. I kept on forgetting to munch before gulping. She kept on smiling to herself.