The Girl I Last Loved (27 page)

Bell Rang

It was a parcel from my eldest sister. I would have let it rest but my sister never wrote to me, so it was worth a peek. It was a small packet but little did I know what it was holding inside. I opened the outer covering. There was a box inside and a letter. I took the letter out and started reading.

Dear Akash,

When Dad and Maa left for their trip, I decided to rearrange the house for passing time. I found this box Kasam left for you. She gave it to Siya the day you left for Mumbai. She forgot about it on your subsequent returns. Though it’s quite late, still I thought it’s yours and should be with you.

With love

Shruti

I dropped the letter and all I was left with was that box. I was unsure whether to open it or not. I stared at the box for a few minutes. I kept on guessing what could be inside even though it was just this simple to open and have a look at it. I looked away, with the box still in my hands. I was afraid that it might have something that was withholding the power of changing my decision.

But then I realised it’s something from nine years back. Does it have the power to change what Kasam and I have now?

For the first time in my entire life I was sure of something. Anything this box has couldn’t affect my actions. I owed this to Kasam, I owed this to myself, I owed this to the love I had and still have for her.

I flicked the box open. It had a few folded papers. I took them out. They seemed like some sort of letters. There were many…

I took the first one.

Dear Romeo,

Today I asked Priya to come along. She refused saying, “I don’t want to upset your boyfriend.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I stated in plain words.

“Does he know that?” Priya went ahead, chuckling.

But I remained still there only. I have done a lot of things today.

Been to a lot of places. But my life, my thoughts, everything is struck at that point.

“Does he know that?”

“Do I want him to know that?”

“Do I want him to ask me?”

“Do I want to put a label on what we have?”

“Do I…”

If you find the answer do let me know.

Love

Juliet

I was a little confused. It seemed like a letter but it wasn’t addressed to me. I read it in such haste with extreme uneasiness that I was able to grasp just a part of it. Obviously, I wasn’t a man of time and peace at the moment. I hastily picked up the next one.

Dear Romeo,

Today he was walking in the rain without an umbrella.

Though he was carrying one as I saw the top of the umbrella peeping through his bag.

I asked him, “Don’t you have an umbrella?”

He answered ‘no’.

And I know why he lied.

Maybe there are some unanswered questions between us.

I will wait for him to ask them.

Love

Juliet

Yeah I recognised this one. It’s about the
mela
we went to visit after she got upset on her mother thing. Shit! She knew I had an umbrella. How stupid I made myself look in front of her. The more I read the more I was able to relate to it. As I read the successive letters, I realised it was meant for me, written by Kasam. It was not really the saga of love or friendship but those words made me see my incapabilities to relate to her feelings at that time… to the girl I last loved.

He didn’t ask any questions…

The words kept on bouncing from the letters.

Some stories never end… that leaves them dangling…

Those stories don’t move… but life moves on…

I was overwhelmed with so many new questions which were not even meant to be answered at this point of time. Then I grabbed the final one in the lot.

Dear Romeo,

Today he told me straight and short that he loves me and he has been in love with me…

He slammed it on my face like ‘there you go’.

‘I love you’ isn’t a statement with a full stop. His came with a full stop. ‘I love you’ is a clause which gets completed with another clause.

He didn’t wait for my answer.

I wanted to tell him it was not a race which two were running.

It was never a race.

It was not about running.

It was just about admitting your feelings.

That’s not the way you propose. This is…

I love you Akash and if it is the same way you feel, that would make me the happiest person in the world.

And as I already know his answer to it…

I’ll just wait till he reads this letter and then comes and find me.

I’m sure he’ll find me…

Love

Juliet

By the time I read this one, I realised something which happened in the past didn’t hold the power of changing my future. But if only I knew at that time, it would have definitely changed my present.

Though it strengthened my decision. As the first knot between Kasam and me disentangled… others were resolved automatically.

Now I left my flat, not only with determination but with hope as well, the letters still lying on the corner table but the words lingering around me.

I jumped in my Audi. Driving as fast as possible with the Mumbai traffic serving as a hurdle, I kept on honking in spite of knowing that it’s of no use. I even yelled at my fellow ‘stuck in traffic jam’ mates though I ended up smiling. Today I was a man filled with so much love that I let everything take its turn. I kept on thinking what I would say to her. I searched those words which could make my love for her superior than those of the couples I knew… superior to that they show in movies. Then I thought about her, thought about those letters… it was so dramatic… I laughed. Still thanks to those letters, I had the right thing to say.

After three hours of a gruesome drive, I was dead tired. I set my hair by looking in the rear-view mirror. It was hot outside. I felt kind of sweaty, so I undid my coat and folded it in my right hand. I hit the bell at her doorsteps.

She came. Before I could say anything to her, she turned her back to me and rushed in the hall. She looked perfect in her light pink
patiala
and a short white
kurta
. Her bangles clinked as she ironed her formals for the session probably. Her
jhumka
playing hide and seek with her hair distracted me. A few minutes passed.

“Kasam,” I called out.

“Yes… Akash,” she turned with little irritation.

But when she at looked me, there was this strange connection between us, as if she knew what I was about to say. Her face relaxed automatically, making it more difficult for me. Her body language, her face… the way she was fiddling with her hair told me she expected me to say something.

“Kasam,” I said.

She raised her head a little.

“I am madly…,” as I said these words her face lighted.

“…deeply, truly… passionately…,” as I added further, tears rolled down her cheeks. I took a deep breath.

“…in love with you,” I finished what I started.

I saw her lips stretch into a smile which she subdued. There were mixed emotions on her face – content, happiness, fear, anger, pain. I didn’t plan to imitate the whole scene of letters to Juliet. Perhaps those words were meant to bring those expressions only.

If I had outdone myself… then this was Kasam.

“You are?” she spoke with so much expectation in her voice.

“I am,” I nodded.

Then she finally smiled and it was clear that the final expression in spite of the tears was of happiness.

We both knew what happens next in the movie. So there was a pause of a single minute.

She controlled her emotions and uttered, “Are you…,” before she said any further. I dropped my coat, loosened my tie and marched to her. Taking her in my arms, bending her a little, I sealed her lips with mine. I kissed her deeply, I kissed her madly, I kissed her passionately… I kissed her truly. Just like the way I loved her. I played with her hair. I hugged her as to never let go.

I kissed her again. I kissed her again and again, till I lost count.

I kissed the girl I last loved.

The girl who used to look at me and I used to forget everything around me and could not stop but smile back at her.

The girl… whose teeth used to sparkle on listening to admiration of her beauty.

The girl… whose eyes used to twinkle on seeing chocolate pastry.

The girl… who kept on adding words to my girl’s encyclopaedia.

The girl… who used to love the sound of rain.

The girl… who used to explain everything along with hand movement.

The girl… who could spend millions on clothing all she had, but never on gadgets.

‘You say what’s more…’ was all what was needed to trigger her off on a never-ending series of stories.

The girl who ruled my dreams but now was a part of my reality.

The girl who was there in my life but now was in my arms and I am never letting her go.

The girl I last loved…

…the girl… who always loved me back.

... I Love you Rachu ...

Dear Frnds pls spread this msg until its reach to my rachu

I thinks see knows my name

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