The Miting (40 page)

After Bishop Miller gave his sermon, Leah was finally called forward and asked to kneel. Before she could even take in what she was saying, the confession was over and the forgiveness by the church pronounced. Soon, they would encourage her to be baptized and join the church, and if Jacob and she wanted to be married, the classes to join would have to take place soon. No one could marry before joining. That was one way to get the youth to stay in the church. It was a long-standing and useful tradition.

After the service, Leah stood at the front while the ladies came and gave her a holy kiss on each cheek, and the right hand of fellowship was given to her by the men. She was welcomed back, and many took the opportunity to whisper in her ear the sooner she joined and was baptized, the better it would be for all.

Leah nodded over and over again.

Finally, the service ended and she walked unsteadily to the porch for fresh air before the meal began. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, watching the nippy air turn her warm breath into a visible white mist.

Jacob managed to slip out behind her to give her a pat on the back.

“You did fine. Don’t worry. It will all work out in the end.” He glanced around before he slipped his hand in hers. “One day, we’ll have more freedom to decide what to believe, Leah. I know this.”

She nodded, giving him a watery smile. She didn’t want to spend this day crying, so she distracted herself by gazing over the frosted field that bowed its head under winter’s icy clasp.

Like me in the grip of the
Ordnung,
nature has no choice but to accept the cold stranglehold of December’s bitter power.

She silently thanked Jesus for showing her soul the warm spring of grace and forgiveness, instead of winter’s frozen law of justice. He gave her sinful soul what she didn’t deserve.

“Jesus loves me, Jacob. I know this.”

He nodded, and they stepped back inside together.

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking and chatting with her church family. They opened their hearts to her again, but for some members, her sin was too much. They stayed at their tables and avoided her.

Once dinner was over, she was relieved to go home with the family. They chattered happily as the buggy rolled behind Sparky over the snowy roads. Evidence of Christmas was seen in the windows of the English neighbors around their farm, and Leah remembered how happy the carols made her as she had listened to them on Sally’s car radio.

She had the singing to look forward to tonight. Popcorn balls and taffy were planned for the
jungen
to make, and of course, Leah would be with Jacob on the long ride home. She was as happy as she could be, for now.

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY

T
he morning after the confession, Leah was sitting down to breakfast when her thoughts turned automatically to her Bible. Reading Scripture each morning had become such a habit that she could hardly bear to miss it. But Jacob still had her little blue Bible. Leah wondered if she could go to town and buy herself another one, maybe one more discreet. With a black cover.

As
Maem
came in to get a drink, Leah asked her if she needed to go into town yet before Christmas.

“Yes, I could use a bit more flour if we’re going to make the
pfeffernusse
cookies.”

Leah’s mouth watered at the thought of these traditional cookies with nuts and a mixture of pepper and spices.

Maem
glanced at Leah. “Would you feel comfortable handling Sparky? Ada can go along. And I think we could use more candy for the dishes and for Benny on Christmas morning.”

“Sure,
Maem
.” Leah paused and decided to tell her the truth. “
Maem
, I’d like to find a King James Bible, you know, one old fashioned in translation. Just so I can read a verse or two in the mornings.”

Maem
turned to look at Leah, her eyes wide and worried.

“It will be okay, right?” she rushed on. “I will only be reading it to myself and not to anyone else.”

Maem
shook her head. “This is not what our people do, Leah. You know we leave the interpretation of Scriptures to the man God has chosen to guide us. We only read the German Bible. I worry you’ll get yourself into trouble again by reading on your own and misinterpreting it.”

“I promise,
Maem
, I’ll only read and not think too much about what I’m reading. It comforts me to read the Scriptures every day.”

Maem
didn’t say anything else, but the look on her face was clear. She didn’t want Leah to have a Bible.

As she left the kitchen, she said, “I’ll ask
Daet
what he thinks, but this soon after coming home, it doesn’t look good to be doing this, Leah. Why you have to be so headstrong I don’t know—always trying too hard.” She went out muttering under her breath.

Leah stood for a time in the kitchen and wondered what in the world she had just done. She shouldn’t have asked for a Bible of her own. Maybe, though,
Daet
would consent to read to the family after supper every night. He used to do that sometimes when they were all younger.

Leah would ask him, but she already knew why he wouldn’t want to. He had struggled with the German words and, of course, knew very little of the actual meaning.

She decided to get Ada and take the buggy into town, anyway. It would be fun to buy Christmas candy for Benny and the rest of them.

When they got home later that day,
Daet
came into her room and threw a couple of books down on her desk.

“
Maem
told me, right in front of Jacob, mind you, about you wanting to buy another Bible. That is out of the question. I found some good Amish books to read. You need to read something in the morning? You read these and leave the Scriptures to the bishop and the preachers. No more questions like that, you hear me?” He frowned as he held her gaze.

Leah was surprised by
Daet
’s anger. She picked up the books: novels about obedient Amish girls, how they got married, had children, and lived a
gut
life.

Okay, Daet. Message received.

Leah fingered the books with a disheartened nod. She’d have to get used to being told what to read again. She stacked the books on her dresser, their presence an obvious reminder of
Daet
’s rebuke.

A day before Christmas, Jacob came to the house and asked
Daet
if he could take her for a quick buggy ride. Leah knew what that meant; he wanted to give her a Christmas gift. In their family, it was traditional for them to make or buy one thing so each family member had a gift on Christmas morning, but they usually didn’t share gifts too much with others.

Daet
glanced Leah’s way. “Go ahead, but don’t stay out too long. It’s freezing out there.” He looked at
Maem
and grinned. In his look was hope for his daughter—hope his rebellious Leah just might be a
gut
Amish girl after all—if she got married soon.

“When you come back, be sure to come in, Jacob, and have a cup of chocolate and some cookies, too,”
Maem
added.

Outside, Jacob’s horse snorted a puff of warm air into the frigid atmosphere and stamped his hooves. Jacob helped Leah into the sleigh he had hooked up to Bingo and drew a thick lap robe over her. He climbed in, gave Bingo’s reins a slap, and they took off over the ice with a whoosh.

The bells on Bingo’s halters jingled merrily, and peace and contentment covered her like the warm robe. She hadn’t felt this way since coming home. Jacob guided Bingo down a side lane, where the overhanging trees had been coated with shimmery ice diamonds and then frosted with white snow. It was breathtaking.

“Ahh, Jacob. This is so pretty. Thank you for bringing me here.”

Jacob, his cheeks, red-chapped from the wind, broke into a boyish grin. “You’re welcome.”

Bingo pulled the sleigh toward a small area under one of the decorated trees, and Jacob halted him. He searched on the seat behind and took a brown-paper-wrapped package from a bag.

“I hope you like this, Leah.”

“Jacob, thank you! I have your gift at home. When you come in, I’ll give it to you.”

“Go ahead and open this now, Leah.”

He seemed more excited than she was, so Leah tore the paper off, and what she saw made her cry. In her lap lay a black, soft leather Bible. The cover even had her name on it: Leah Raber. “Jacob! Oh my—this is the best gift ever!”

“I knew you wanted one, Leah, and I thought, ‘Why can’t she have a Bible? What is so wrong about that?’ So I ordered it and asked them to put your name on it. They had to rush the order.” He laughed.

“Jacob, I don’t know how to thank you.”

Leah turned to him, and he wiped the tears off her frozen cheeks. Impulsively, she gave him a kiss. He smiled and pulled her into a hug.

“Now,” he reached behind him again and brought out a lovely woven basket. “I got this so your parents wouldn’t wonder what you got from me. You can use this to take things with you back and forth to the house and the shop. There’s a cover for your Bible in the bottom of the basket. It stretches over the book so it won’t show the title.”

“Jacob, this is wonderful! I’ll get to read my Bible in the mornings after all.”

“
Ja
, just don’t lay it out right on the kitchen table, okay?”

“No, I’ll keep it in my room. It’s so lovely. Thank you ever so much!”

Jacob slapped the reins, and Bingo began to trot. “We’d better get back. You’re getting cold. Let’s go get some cookies and hot cocoa.”

As they passed by the mailbox at the end of the lane, Leah asked if they could stop. Jacob jumped down and brought a handful of cards and letters back to her. She shuffled through the stack as they drove up the lane to home.

“Oh! Here are cards from Sally and the Schrocks. I’d better read these later.”

“
Ja
, I don’t think cards from your English friends would go over well with your parents right now. Best to keep them hidden.”

She tucked the cards in her apron pocket, and when they got back inside, she showed the rest of the mail to
Daet
and
Maem
.

They spent the evening playing games and singing carols. The last thing the family did before Jacob went home was string some popcorn to hang over the stairwell. The Amish decorations consisted of fresh pine boughs and berries and a few festive popcorn strings, but no tree and no commercial decorations.

Leah walked Jacob to the back door. There, away from prying eyes, she gave Jacob his Christmas gift—a pair of wool-lined leather gloves. “Peek inside, Jacob,” Leah said softly, suddenly nervous about her surprise.

Reaching into one glove, Jacob pulled out a blue vinyl-covered bankbook. Confusion creased his brow, so Leah jumped in quickly, “It isn’t much, but it’s all I managed to save this past year.” She smiled up at him, then laughed. “Thought I’d be buying a car with it. Now, I’d like it to go toward our future together. The start of something
gut
.”

Jacob looked down at the bankbook, then brought his hand up to her chin, tipping her face up to meet his. “Leah,” he whispered, “you are
gut
.”

In the quiet of the candlelit kitchen, with the happy sounds of family sprinkling in from the other room, Jacob said a quiet and special good-bye to her.

All eyes were on Leah when she returned to the living room. Ada ran over to her and threw a handful of pine needles over her sister’s head.

“Blessed Christmas, Leah!” she laughed.

Benny giggled and ran circles around her until Leah chased him.

After the others had gone to their rooms, she lay on her bed and carefully took the cards from her pocket. She opened Sally’s first:

Dear Leah,

I hope this card finds you happy and healthy. I got your letter, and though I was sorry to know you had gone back (because you’re my best worker!), I don’t blame you for wanting to be with your family again.

Anyway, I’ll be praying for you and thinking of you. If you ever want a job again in the future, just call me up.

Merry Christmas,

Sally

P.S. Here is your last paycheck.

The next card from the Schrocks was also a lovely and forgiving one. They wished Leah well and reminded her they would be praying for her every day. They also said they fully understood why she went back, but if Leah ever wanted to leave again, to let them know.

She carefully folded the cards and placed them inside the Bible, tucking the check in there, too, happy to have something more toward the future …
their
future. She felt only a tiny pang as she recalled plans for a car, a place of her own, a future to pursue. It seemed as if it’d all been a dream.

Shaking off her melancholy, Leah snuggled into bed and opened her new Bible to read the story of Christ’s birth by the lantern’s glow.