Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
”
I am sick and tired of waiting for you!
When it
’
s not some man you pick up at the library,
it
’
s the metro, or the fucking Dior showroom
where you manage to transform a visit to your brother into a clandestine romp
with some model in a dressing room
…”
his voice trails, angrily.
She looks at him with consternation and
notices, his eyes are becoming darker as they rest on her, and his body is trembling
with actual rage, his hands flexing involuntarily.
They stare at each other, he
’
s breathing hard, and she is feeling her
own anger mount within her.
“
I see.
”
she states in a calm, soft, voice, but he
knows better, her eyes have darkened too. She gets her clutch from the sofa,
and as she walks past him and their eyes meet, she says icily,
”
Fuck you Kevin.
”
As she locks her bedroom door, tears
stream down her face, and she swears she will never talk about her sexuality
with him. Ever again.
Not if she can avoid it. Because, if she
can
’
t, it
’
s
the one thing that will keep him from loving her.
And, she
’
ll lose him.
And that
’
s something she could never contemplate.
It would kill her.
((~~!~~))
September 1996.
2 Square du Trocadero, 75016. Paris. France.
“
You were at
Corcorans
’
dancing half-dressed on the bar, giving
all the patrons a view of your body, they
’
ll
talk about for years to come
…”
“
So?
”
she pouts.
“
Vi, you can
’
t drink beer, it drives you crazy
…”
He admonishes,
“
It
’
s the yeast or something
…”
his voice trails,
“
One day you
’
ll end up in a bad situation
…”
he says, concerned.
She shrugs her shoulders.
“
Vi, do you want to be a lawyer? Be taken
seriously?
”
he asks in a serious tone, which makes
her look at him.
“
Screw you Kev. Of course, I
’
ll be a lawyer, and I will be taken
seriously because I am damn good at interpreting the law! I
’
m fucking top of my class! Or do you think
Baker & Mackenzie internships fall off trees? What I do on my private time
is none of your business, none of anyone
’
s business!
”
she yells at him, lighting up a cigarette
and she opens the terrace
’
s French doors. Her back to him, in a
milder tone, she pursues,
“
How I let off some steam is my business! I
’
m not hurting anyone! I made law review
…
!
”
her voice is still shaking with anger but
laced with hurt.
He comes behind her.
“
Look, Vi, who you are and what you do are
inextricably bound.
”
He says softly, but adds in a harsher
tone,
“
And as much as you want to deny it, and
claim that your private time is just that, private
…
when you are standing in a public pub, on
the bar, half naked, thrusting your great divide as if it was the latest
tourist attraction, they are people thinking
‘
she is a lawyer? Stripping is more up her
alley
’…
no matter
what your legal skills are, you need to be concerned about your reputation
…”
She felt slapped by his words and turns
around to face him.
Their eyes locked on, he adds,
“
I don
’
t care how sensational you look dancing on
a bar, and you did look
sensational
. But if you must insist and keep on
doing it, then get someone else to pick up the pieces when you
’
re done entertaining, someone else to put
you to bed
…
because I won
’
t do it anymore
…”
The first tear drops.
They look at each other, in silence, both
resisting the temptation to fall into each other
’
s arms as they normally would after any
argument.
She finally walks past him, grabs her
clutch from the table, and walks out of the apartment.
She doesn
’
t return until two days later, and the
incident is never mentioned again.
But never again, does he have to pick her
up at 2:00 a.m. from an Irish pub, drunk and half-dressed.
And never again, does she ingest a
schooner of beer.
Hard liquor is more her thing anyway.
((~~!~~))
April 1997. 25 Avenue Montaigne, 75008. Paris. France.
“
A shot of
Patrón
,
please.
”
the voice says to the barman of the Plaza
Athénée
’
s Bar.
“
Oh Great!
“
she sighs as he drops his shot glass next
to hers and stands too close to her, against the next stool.
“
Go away!
”
she says, staring at the numerous bottles
in the mirrored bar in front of her.
“
I just got here.
”
he replies with a grin.
“
Go away!
”
she reiterates.
“
Give another man the chance to sit on that
stool, and massage my ego
…”
she adds,
still refusing to look at him.
“
This is all the man you
’
re getting tonight
…”
he smirks.
She doesn
’
t respond. She is humiliated. She nurses
her tequila.
“
Look at me.
“
he says, cajoling.
“
Kev, just go away!
”
she growls, getting incredibly irritated,
putting salt on the back of her hand,
“
How did you know, I was even here?!
”
she snaps, swallowing her drink in a
gulp, and bitting a lime wedge.
“
Look at me.
”
he demands, his index turning her chin
towards him, so their eyes meet.
She licks her lips, her flesh is tingling,
and she could get lost in those eyes.
You did,
Coño
!
And that
’
s
why you
’
re
here! In a bar drinking alone! Not daring to go home!
“
Dance with me.
“
he commands softly, pulling her up, his
eyes never leaving hers, he
’
s so close she can feel his breath on her lips.
She silently nods, as she stands and lets
him lead her to the dancing area where a few couples are enlaced and lulled by
some jazzy music.
In his arms, she
’
s careful, not to totally relax or close
her eyes.
“
I
’
m sorry.
”
she murmurs against his shoulder.
”
I know,
”
he responds against her ear, yet holding
her tighter.
“
I shouldn
’
t have kissed you,
”
she starts, her voice, slow and low,
”
It was inappropriate. I know how you feel
about my
…” “
Sssush
,
”
he murmurs against her ear, kissing the
side of her head. She shuts up, closes her eyes, melts into his arms and lets
herself feel him; his cologne and the warmth of his embrace entrance her.
She thinks of what happened two hours
earlier.
((~~!~~))
He
’
s reading a criminology book when she walks into the
lounge. He lifts his head acknowledging her presence with a small smile.
She comes to his side of the double side
desk they share, and waits for him to look at her.
She is wearing her signature knee high
boots, a yellow mini sundress stopping mid-thigh, with a V-neck showing the
right amount of cleavage, unconstricted by any bra.
As she removes her curls from her bun,
letting her mane fall on her shoulders, she says,
“
Kev. Do you find me attractive?
”
His eyes shoot up from the book to her.
She smiles, happy to have his full
attention. Using her foot, she pushes his wheeled executive chair away from the
desk, so she can placate her body between him and the desk.
She watches him, as his glance lowers from
her face to her breast and her legs.
When their eyes meet again, she is
pouting, he grins and says coolly,
”
As usual, you
’
re hot. Going clubbing somewhere?
”
She responds with a question of her own,
and asks with a husky voice,
”
So, if I am
hot
,- as usual, per you own
words-, why is it you haven
’
t, ever, made a pass at me? Don
’
t you find me attractive?
”
He pulls her towards him, so she straddles
his lap, her legs dangling on both sides of him.
She is surprised by the bold move, and
their faces are so close, if she bends a little more, she could kiss him.
He smiles and says softly, his voice
teasing,
“
Vi, baby, what
’
s this about? Are you suddenly feeling
insecure? This is so unlike you
…“
One of his hands caresses her cheek, while the other
rests above her knee, on her thigh. She feels his breath on her neck.
A lump is in her throat, and she is unable
to answer.
She is looking into his eyes, and for the
first time in a very long time, lets herself getting mesmerized by them,
getting lost in them.
Kevin
’
s blue eyes, shift into a dark grey as
seconds go by, and she can
’
t help herself but inextricably bend forward, push
herself deeper against him, slightly lick his bottom lip, slip her tongue in
his mouth, and then kiss him, deeply.
But when minutes later, she feels his
entire body stiffen under hers and his arms leave her back, she pulls back,
their eyes cross, and she sees something she can
’
t bear to see in her best friend
’
s eyes: disappointment.
She disengages herself, mumbles an
apology, telling him she doesn
’
t know what came over her, and unable to meet his eyes
again, hurries into her bedroom, as he tells her retreating form,
“
It
’
s ok, she just caught him off guard.
”
Five minutes later, changed into a black
cocktail dress and high heels, she walks past the lounge without a glance for
him, grabs a leather jacket on the coat rack and walks out, slamming the door.
((~~!~~))
They are back at the bar, and just clinked their
refilled glasses, when he softly says, "To love a woman like you would
destroy me, Vi." He remains silent for a while, staring in his glass, and
then adds, "You'd completely take over my spirit, mind and body. I know
you would. You
’
re intense." He finally lifts his
gaze and looks at her, punctuating in a strained voice,
“
I-I can
’
t.
”