“Because I once had the same thing with Scorpio. I might not have loved her as much as I do Nokea, but I loved her as best as I could. You have to know that even though I don't share how I feel with anyone, I'll admit, you being with her breaks my heart. It hurts because, as much as I try to forget about her and Mackenzie, the thoughts of them remain fresh in my mind, especially since I have this friendship with you. I call your house. She answers. I visit you. She's there. You visit me. She calls here. Man, I've already faced reality. And the reality of the situation is, I'm never going to accept you being with her. Since I can't, then I'm leaving the choice up to you. I've been thinking about breaking this down to you for some time now, and just by how upset I got from her call today, I know something has to be done.”
“So, you're asking me to make a decision on our friendship and the woman I love?”
“Yes. But that's only if you love her. I think you're infatuated, and when I make you this offer, only time will tell.”
“What offer?”
“I want you to move Alexander & Company here. You and I can quickly turn it into a profitable business and start investing in some real estate property down here. I'm already invested in some property with my neighbors, and my bank account is getting fatter and fatter by the day. I want you to share the wealth, my brotha, but that would mean giving up some things.”
“Some
thing
like Scorpio, right?”
“You decide.”
I stood up, and so did Jaylin. “The business deal sounds like a good one, and I know you ain't trying to hear me, but I can't leave my woman hanging like that.”
Jaylin grabbed my shoulder. “Shane, do you trust me?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Then you know I trust you, right?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Then, I trust that you'll make the right decision.”
“I need time to think about it. When I get back to the Lou, give me at least a month. I'll call and let you know what's up.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jaylin said, walking off. He took a few more steps and turned to walk backward. “And, oh, by the way ... you did say that I could trust you, didn't you?”
“Yeah, but I also asked why you're asking.”
He stopped in his tracks, and so did I. “Because I trusted you would have told me about Nokea's advances toward you.”
I cleared my throat. “What advances?”
“The kiss, Negro. She told me about the kiss.”
I smirked and walked past Jaylin. I knew he wanted to hear my side of the story, but I took off running to his house. I didn't know if he was trying to catch up to me or not, until I reached the steps that led to his balcony. That was when he darted past me and quickly made his way up the steps. Out of breath, we both stretched out on the bottom deck to catch our breaths.
“I was a track star, fool,” he said, breathing heavily.
“
Was
is the key word. If you were a track star, you should have passed me up way back there.”
“I wanted to give you time to get your lie together about why you tongued my wife.”
I took a few more deep breaths, until my breathing finally slowed. I looked over at Jaylin, still lying flat on his back.
“I don't know what Nokea told you, but your best friend or not, it wasn't my place to tell you about our kiss. If she didn't tell you, you wouldn't have ever heard it from me, because I don't believe in interfering with people who are married. On that day, that time, and for that moment, I'm sure Nokea had her reason for approaching me like she did. I might have had mine, too, but it's over and done with. I can't take it back, and neither can she. I'm just surprised that you've kept it under wraps for this long.”
Jaylin rose up on his elbows. “Man, as much shit as I did to Nokea in the past, I'm surprised she didn't jump your bones and try to fuck you. Hell yeah, I was mad. I didn't speak to her for a couple of days. But then she told me about her almost losing her life in an airplane crash. Shane, we got too damn much to be thankful for. If I had lost her over my bullshit, I never would've been able to forgive myself. If anything, her kissing you was a wake-up call for me. It let me know that if I don't keep my shit in order, my wife don't have no problem being with another man. As easy as she went to you, she would for damn sure find someone who will open his arms up to her as you did.”
“No doubt,” I agreed. “As beautiful as she is, inside and out, she will never have a problemâ”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just make sure you don't make yourself available to her again. If so, I might have to bust you upside that big-ass head of yours.”
“Your head ain't all that small, nigga. I know you ain'tâ”
“You damn right my head ain't small,” Jaylin said, grabbing himself. “Motherfucka so thick, it has a hard time prying its way into the pussy.”
“Jaylin!” Nokea yelled. She stepped outside and must have heard our conversation. “And whose vagina are you out here discussing with your friend?”
“Not you, baby. I was talking about some shit that happened a long time ago.”
“Don't make me hurt your feelings. And not that Shane really cares, but it isn't as big as his ex-women make it out to be.”
“Damn,” I said, laughing.
“Come on now, baby. It might not be big to you now, because you've been getting tapped quite often. We won't talk about back in the day, when youâ”
Nokea placed her hand over Jaylin's mouth. “That was then, and this is now. I've reached a new level, and you don't have to pry into anything.”
Jaylin placed his hand over her mouth. He moved his mouth away from Nokea's hand. “We going to bed. If you hear her screaming, don't think I'm killing her. But I'll be for damn sure plugging her.”
Jaylin kept his hand over Nokea's mouth and tried to ease her inside. Resisting, she bit his hand and laughed when he snatched it away in pain. He chased her to their bedroom, and when the door slammed, I could hear all the laughing, giggling, and screaming going on. Soon, things got quiet and the lights went out.
I lay outside on the hammock all night. I'd thought about going back to Christina's house but decided against it. Jaylin's ultimatum was heavy on mind, and before I knew it, I dozed off about 4:00
A.M.
Less than an hour later, I was awakened by a shake of my shoulder. When I looked up, it was Nokea.
“Shane, come inside. It's getting ready to rain.”
I got off the hammock, then made my way down the hall to the guest room. Nokea brought me an extra blanket and laid it on my bed. She got ready to leave the room, but I stopped her.
“Can I ask you something?” I said.
She turned. “Sure.”
“Wha ... why did you kiss me? Did you even think about what harm it would've caused if I'd developed some feelings for you?”
Nokea shamefully looked into my eyes. “I don't know what I was thinking, Shane. I was hurt by Jaylin's actions, and I felt as if I was losing him. I'm sorry if I led you on, but that was never my intention.”
“Did you feel anything ... I mean, was there a connection after the kiss, and have you thought about it since then? I'm asking because I don't want to continue being used by the past or present women in Jaylin's life. Sometimes, I feel as if Scorpio used me in the beginning of our relationship to get back at Jaylin. I don't understand women andâ”
“Shane, I don't know what Scorpio's intentions are, but I wish that you'd be with someone who can make you happy. She's not capable of accomplishing that, and the sooner you realize it, the better off you'll be. Our kiss was ... It was a special and unforgettable kiss. I needed it, and at the time, it felt so right. Yes, I've thought about it over and over again, but I only connect with Jaylin. I always have, and no matter what, I always will.”
“Thank you for being honest,” I said. “And sweet dreams, pretty lady.”
“Good night,” she said, closing the door behind her.
FELICIA
21
All I could do right now was call His name.
Jesus, help me, please.
Stephon had lost his mind. After falling asleep in his tub that day, I could tell he must have drugged me with something. When I snapped out of it and confronted him, he went ballistic. We had a knockdown, drag-me-across-the-floor fight, and I wound up cracking him across his head with a heavy vase. He chased after me, but I hollered and screamed so his neighbors could hear me. After they came outside, he let me go. He promised me, though, that he was going to get me and get me good.
Since then, I had had nowhere to turn. I'd been hiding out at a few hotels, but I needed to talk to someone about this messed-up situation I'd gotten myself into. By the way Stephon acted, I could tell he was back on drugs. And I realized that that smell was the smell of smoked crack. Damn, I was so disappointed he'd turned to drugs again. I felt all alone, but I knew I still had one last person who wouldn't turn their back on me. That, of course, was Shane. No matter what, I knew he'd help me out of this situation. He'd been upset with me many times before, but it never stopped him from being my friend. Right now, that was all I needed. I knew I couldn't get through this by myself, and maybe he could advise me what to do.
Tonight was my final night at the hotel. I went by Shane's place on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but he wasn't there. I left a note on his door for him to call me, but he still hadn't called. It wasn't like him not to contact me after so many attempts, but maybe he was out of town on business or something. And just as I was about to speculate some more, my cell phone rang. I looked at the phone, and thank God, it was Shane.
“Felicia?”
“Yes, Shane, it's me.”
“I got your note. What's up?”
“Can I please, please, please come by and talk to you about something? This is an emergency, and I really need your advice.”
“Now?” he griped.
“Yes, please.”
“I just got back in town, and I have plans with Scorpio tonight. Can't this wait until morning?”
“Shane, this is very important. I promise you that if Scorpio shows up when I'm there, I won't say one word to her.”
He hesitated and then spoke. “If you do, I will throw you out of my house so fastâ”
“You have my word.”
He hung up.
I grabbed my purse and left the hotel in the same clothes I had on three days ago, when I checked in. I was afraid to go home, and I was even afraid to go shopping. I didn't know if Stephon was following me or not, so every time I left the hotel, I asked security to walk me to my car.
It took me less than thirty minutes to get to Shane's place. I kept watching my back, because he and Stephon lived less than ten minutes away from each other. I hurried out of my car, rushing to the door. I banged hard enough so Shane would hurry up and answer. He did, and when he opened the door, he was a sight for sore and tired eyes. His muscular bare chest was tight, and his white and blue pajama pants, which tied around his perfect waistline, showed his goods. I couldn't help but suck on my bottom lip, even at a horrible time like this.
“Come in,” he said in a shitty mood.
I stepped inside, and he closed the door behind me. I glanced at his nail-gripping ass, and I'll be damned if he didn't quickly turn around and bust me.
“Felicia, I hope you didn't come over here thinkingâ”
“No, I didn't. But looking never hurt anybody.”
“Lusting, Felicia,” he said, placing his finger on my chin and lifting it up to close my mouth.
“Okay, well, damn. I'm busted, but, uh, can we go sit down and talk?”
Shane cut his eyes at me and strolled off to his kitchen. I followed closely behind and shook my head. His swagga was nothing to play with. I regretted that Scorpio had had him for so long, but I decided to save my words to her for later.
Shane pulled back a chair for me to have a seat, and I did. He leaned against the counter, folding his arms in front of him. I continued to drop my eyes below his waist.
“Do you mind sitting down?” I suggested. “That li'l slit in the front of your pants ain't working for me right about now.”
Shane looked down and slid his hand down inside of his pants. He shifted his dick to the side, making sure nothing was poking through his slit.
“Is that better?” he said.
I squinted and nodded. “Much better.”
He got serious. “Felicia, you have wasted ten minutes of my time. When Scorpio gets hereâ”
“Okay, look. Since last week, I've had some bad experiences with Stephon. He's back on drugs, and I am seriously afraid for my life. We got into a heated argument that caused me to hit him with a heavy vase. He came after me, and he's been after me ever since. I'm scared, Shane. I've never been so afraid of anyone in my entire life, and I don't take Stephon's threats lightly. I think he might try to do something to me, and I can't go home, I'm afraid to go to work, and I'm so afraid of being alone.”
“So ... so what do you want me to do? You knew what you were getting yourself into by fucking with him. I told you so, the last time I saw you. All I know is this might be some stupid game you and Stephon are playing. After y'all messed over Jaylin, I don't trust you, and I for damn sure don't trust Stephon.”
“I understand how you feel, Shane, but this is not a game. I wish it were a game, and I wouldn't stoop low like this.”
Shane slightly tooted his lips. “For as long as I've known you, Felicia, all you've been about is game playing. Honestly, I'm sorry things haven't worked out for you and Stephon, because the both of you deserve each other. My suggestion to you would be to let things cool down. Try him in a week or two, and I bet that all will be forgiven and forgotten. If anybody knows how to work that magic between her legs, it's you. You've done it before, and I don't think it'll be a problem for you to do it again.”
I stared at Shane, and my eyes couldn't help but water from his insulting words.
He pointed his finger at me. “Don't come over here and try this crying game on me, Felicia. I'm already hipâ”
Tears poured down faster on my face, and I gritted my teeth. “Do I look like I'm playing a game with you, Shane! If I do, then send me to Hollywood to be an actress! I am afraid of this man, and if anything happens to me, I hope like hell you don't have to live with it! I'm here as a friend in desperate need! I need a place to stay for a few days! Will you help me, please!”
After all the sobbing and disappointment I felt, Shane ignored me. He looked at his watch and sighed.
“Fuck it!” I said, standing up. “I shouldn't have ever come here. I thought ... never mind.” In a panic, I left the kitchen and hurried to the front door. Shane grabbed my arm, shoving me on his couch.
“Listen,” he yelled. “You'd better not be fucking around with me, Felicia! I'm going to go see Stephon tomorrow, and if I find out that you or he is bullshitting me, somebody ass gon' get hurt! Do you understand!”
“I swear to you I wouldn'tâ”
“Bit ...” He paused. “Did I make myself loud and clear?”
All I could do was nod.
Just then, the doorbell rang. I knew all hell was about to break loose, and when Shane asked me to go into the kitchen, I did as he asked, with the exception of cracking the door a bit so I could see into the living room.
No sooner had he opened the door than Ms. Hood Rat was all over him. Her tongue damn near choked him, and when her hand went down inside of his pants, I could have died.
What a fucking freak,
I thought. She was already half naked in the hipster jeans that almost showed the crack of her ass. The top she had on was useless. She was about to take it off, until Shane stopped her. I couldn't hear much of what he was saying, but I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't happy. Minutes later, he yelled my name, and I walked out from the kitchen. I tried to be nice. After all, I wasn't going anywhere.
“Hi, Scorpio,” I said dryly.
She didn't speak but turned to Shane. “So now what?” she asked.
“So, I'm going to get dressed, and we are going out to have a wonderful evening together.”
Scorpio's brows arched, and she was ready to blow her top. “I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay right here with you, and I was so delighted you'd made it back from Florida. Felicia needs to go home.”
“And she will go home. I just need some time alone to tell you what's been going down with her and Stephon. She came to me for help andâ”
Her voice rose. “To hell with her and Stephon, Shane! What business of this is yours? You're going to have to work out issues with her and Stephon some other time.”
“All I'm saying is, let's go somewhere else, have a good time, stay out all night long, and by tomorrow, all of this will be resolved.”
“No,” she said sternly and darted her finger at his chest. “You got five motherfuckin' seconds to tell this bitch to leave. If not, I'm leaving. If I leave, Shane, I'm not coming back.”
Wow. She knew better than to speak to Shane like that, didn't she? He didn't put up with much nonsense, and the look on his face implied that she was about to get it. I bit my tongue the whole time, because I promised Shane I wouldn't say anything to Scorpio. But when he looked at me and opened his mouth ...
“Felicia, you heard her
demand
, so I'm asking you to leave.”
“And I'm telling you and your woman that I'm not. By asking me to walk out of your door right now, you're asking me to die. I'm not ready to do that just yet.”
Shane looked at Scorpio. Fire was in his eyes. “I did as you demanded, but as you can see, your demands don't mean shit. You refuse to handle things my way, and I don't give a damn if you walk out of this door or not.”
I'd be damned if he didn't casually walk off to his bedroom and slam the door. The whole house shook, and Scorpio and I stared eye to eye at each other.
“Get out, Felicia,” she ordered.
“M-a-k-e me.” I spelled it out for her.
She chuckled. “You know what. You ain't even worth it. You want me to show my ass, and I will not allow you to get underneath my skin. I can't do it, Felicia. Never, ever will I stoop to your level again. Whatever is going on between you and Stephon, I hope he handles his business and gives you what you deserve. As a matter of fact, starting tonight, I plan to put my request in prayer.”
“First of all, the moment you walked in the door, your ass was already showing. Secondly, if anybody knows how well Stephon can handle his business, I'm sure it's you. Lastly, I'm not worried about him handling it with me, because I have Shane to protect me. He's always had my back, and that doesn't stop because you came on the scene. Either way, today is not your lucky day. He's upset with you, and unless you want to stay in the same house as me, then good-bye.”
Scorpio stood quietly for a moment. She looked toward Shane's bedroom, sucking her teeth. After rolling her eyes at me, she reached for the doorknob.
“Do me a favor. Tell that son of a bitch, Shane, not to call me again. And as for you, Felicia ... have mercy on your corrupted-ass soul.”
I put my hands together. “Oooo, please say a good prayer for me. You know how bad I need it.”
The front door slammed, and the whole house shook again. I waited for Shane to exit his room, but he never opened the door to come out.
By morning, I was slumped over on the couch, sleeping better than I had slept in days. I was startled when Shane shook my shoulder to wake me.
“Wake up,” he said.
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Almost seven o'clock.”
I sat up and yawned. I then looked at Shane. He was fully dressed in a black shirt and stonewashed jeans.
“Where are you headed off to so early in the morning?” I asked.
“Stephon's shop opens up at eight o'clock. I plan to be there as soon as he gets there. That way, we can work this out and you can get the hell out of my house. Meanwhile, there are some towels and a change of clothes on the bed in my guest room. I suggest you go get busy.”
“Do I look that bad? And what kind of clothes do you have here for me to wear? You know darn well I ain't putting on nothing that belongs to Scorpio.”
He glared at me and didn't respond. He patted his pockets, walked back to his room, and moments later, he left.
I got off the couch and headed back to his guest room. The towels and clothes were on the bed, and when I picked up the clothes, I saw one of Shane's oversized T-shirts and a pair of sweatpants. Both were entirely too big, but they looked better than the wrinkled and smelly clothes I had had on for days.