Trust (Chasing Shadows)
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Authors: Mia Fox
Trust
Chasing Shadows Series
Book 2
By
Mia Fox
Trust
copyright
©
2014 by Mia Fox
All rights reserved.
Cover Photography by Cathleen Tarawhiti.
Model - Melanie Bevan.
Digital art by Consuelo Parra.
Typography by Eden Crane.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
Trust, Chasing Shadows Book Two by Mia Fox
Published by Evatopia Press
8447 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 401, Beverly Hills, CA 90211
a division of Evatopia, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-63099-026-8
Formatting by Bob Houston eBook Formatting
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For my children...
You are the three most amazing people I’ve ever met. I love you more than one could ever imagine.
Search and rescue teams are scouring the mountains above Calabasas with particular focus on the Backbone Hiking Trail near Mulholland Highway and Stunt Road for two missing hikers.
Ella Logan, age 33, has been missing since Sunday. Family members say that Ella is an experienced hiker who regularly frequented the trails of this area. However these trails are said to be extremely treacherous, particularly in these winter months.
Also missing is Ethan Feinfield, 28-years-old, who is on record as Ella’s physician following the car accident that recently took the life of her boyfriend, Nate Holden.
Nobody has heard from neither Ella, nor Ethan for 48 hours.
# # #
“Lily, you’ve got to stop pacing. There’s going to be a trough in the floor soon. Please...come sit down.” Zach patted the spot on the couch next to him and opened his arms to Ella’s sister, who begrudgingly joined him. Although she took the seat next to her boyfriend and leaned into his body, the closeness didn’t seem to ease her mind. A wayward tear trailed lazily down her cheek and because her head rested on Zach’s shoulder, it traveled to her mouth, forcing her to angrily wipe it away.
Zach turned toward her, kissed the salty trail, and then gently pushed her hair away from her bloodshot eyes. “Give that thing to me,” he said prying the television remote from her fingers. Her knuckles were white from her viselike grip of the device. Finally, Lily relinquished the controls and Zach no sooner pressed the ‘off’ button, filling the room with silence, a much needed reprieve from the unbiased and removed tone of the newscast.
“I hate listening to it,” Lily said, indicating the television.
“Then why have we had it on all afternoon? You know they’ll call us the minute they find them.”
Lily nodded, more to herself than in answer to Zach’s statement. And then, her absent-minded nod suddenly changed to a shake of her head and the fear that Zach managed to send away for just a moment returned. “What if they don’t?”
“Are you kidding me? You just have to remain calm. It’s going to be alright.”
Lily answered in a tone that was the complete antithesis of the word she echoed. “Calm?!”
“Yes,” he soothed. “That’s right.”
“Easy for you. You’re a Marine...just like Nate was. You’ve experienced adversity...how to deal with it...how to live through it. Ella...,” her voice trailed off, but she took a breath and continued her thought. “Ella hasn’t been handling Nate’s death well, and running off like this is evidence of that. I just feel like something is wrong.” Lily buried her head in her hands.
Zach gently massaged her shoulders as he spoke in a quiet tone. “Ethan will find her.”
“But how? They went hiking and then they left separately. Isn’t that what he said?” Lily’s voice rose, the panic returning.
“Exactly. He knew where she was hiking and he’ll go back and find her.” Trying his best to calm Lily once more, Zach added, “Come on, he was an Eagle Scout. And now, he’s a psychiatry resident. Plus, he’s darn fit. So, what have we got? A guy who is strong, knows how to get in her head, and is determined to find her. Those are good odds.”
“Zach, I know what you’re doing and I appreciate it. I do. But, it’s been two days and now we haven’t even heard from Ethan. I know something happened between them. Maybe something that got her upset. He practically said so himself when he came back here and expected Ella to have returned home.”
“Lily, you’re jumping to conclusions.”
“But he was totally surprised to learn that she hadn’t come back. And something else...he seemed worried. And now, he’s missing too.”
Zach pulled Lily against his chest and smoothed the hair down her back. She had the same thick waves of brown that Ella did and as he held her, a photo of the two sisters that stood on the end table caught his gaze.
“He cares about her. That much is obvious. He’ll find her. He even had gear packed.”
“Zach?”
“Yeah?” he mumbled against her hair.
“Even if Ethan was prepared, Ella wasn’t. She was wearing just a light outfit. She never packed necessities for hikes.”
“...unless you call Flicks jumbo chocolate chips a necessity,” Zach added and in spite of herself, Lily smiled.
“She loved those so much that she had to ration them and then half the time, they would melt inside the foil cardboard tube and she ended up drinking them.”
Lily met Zach’s gaze and kissed him on the cheek.
“She always had her band-aids,” Zach added.
“Because her inappropriate shoes caused blisters.”
Zach took the cue to remove Lily’s shoes and rub her feet. “Close your eyes. Try to relax.”
Lily inhaled and then exhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling, and her body relaxing into the couch. The phone’s sudden ringing jarred her and she jumped for it.
“Hello?” her voice was anxious. “Hello?” She turned back to Zach as she hung up the phone. “There was nobody there.”
Within a minute the phone rang again and just as before, Lily jumped to respond.
“Hello? Ella? Ethan?”
A pause and then her tone grew angry.
“No comment!” she said, pressing the hang up button and throwing the phone to the other end of the couch.
“Just a reporter...wanting to know the
nature
of Ella and Ethan’s relationship.”
“Why are you letting them upset you? He was her doctor. End of story.”
“Is it, Zach?”
He turned to Lily with a tired expression. “Does it matter?”
“Maybe. She was vulnerable after Nate’s death.”
“And she responded to Ethan.”
“Maybe too much. If she’s just a patient, then why does she leave him in a huff, making him think she’s driven home. And for that matter, don’t you think it was weird that they went hiking in the first place?”
“Ella needed treatment, but didn’t want it. This was the only way she would agree to see Ethan. He obviously cares about her enough to help in any way he can. Listen...,” he took Lily’s hand in his own. “Ella and Nate were perfect for each other, but I’m not convinced that there’s only one person out there for each of us.”
“Ethan and Ella? What you’re implying is certainly crossing a line.”
“I’m not implying anything, just that Ethan wanted to help her and now, more than ever, he’s committed to doing so. We just need to say a prayer that he’s successful...and that Nate is watching over both of them.”
“I know that's what people say-- you'll get over it. I'd say it, too. But I know it's not true. Oh, you’ll be happy again, never fear. But you won't forget. Every time you fall in love it will be because something in the man reminds you of him.”
-- Betty Smith, “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn”
Two Days Earlier...
If I weren’t already dead, it would kill me to say this, but Zach was right. Ella deserved every happiness, and if Ethan was the one to give it to her then...On second thought, maybe I’m not that well-adjusted. He’s the psych doctor. I’ll leave the rational mindset for him. As an ex-Marine, I’m still trained to fight and right now, my instinct is to fight for my girl.
One would think that emotions would start to tune out and disappear in death, but it’s not so. I still love her. I still want her. And somehow, some way, we’ve been able to find each other. Through the planes of life and the afterlife, I’ve been able to comfort her and she’s done the same for me.
I know it can’t last. Or maybe I should say that it shouldn’t last, which brings me back to Ethan. Even if I was totally in favor of them being together, Ella can be so damned stubborn. Like now, suddenly tuning me out because she feels some misguided loyalty to me. As if that makes sense. I’m dead for heaven’s sake. She doesn’t owe me anything, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get the opportunity to tell her. I know that what I want should be secondary to her needs.
Our connection in life and now, in death, has always been a mutual desire to heal each other. Ironically, that’s supposed to be Ethan’s role. But for now, I still take full responsibility for Ella. When she tunes me out, I can’t reach her. It’s making it close to impossible to find her even though she’s on the mountain trail that we always frequented.
If that wasn’t bad enough, now I’ve got another life on my hands -- his. She’s staying away from Ethan too. She always had the fight or flight instinct and now she’s hiding away from the world. I can only pray that her other instincts -- those tuned for survival -- are going to respond to the dangers ahead if she’s going to stay alive. They’re both going to need to keep their wits about them, as well as luck and a little help from someone above.
I was only going to stay for another half hour, maybe an hour tops. Any longer and Lily would be sure to worry and I wouldn’t want to cause her any more stress than I already had over the last month. But I knew what I had to do if I was ever going to make sense of my own mind. I needed to go back to the trail once more, but this time, on my own. So many unanswered questions kept churning in my brain. The biggest one: how was it possible that I was able to be with Nate?
When he died, at first I only saw him in my dreams. I wanted to be with him, but I never intended to take my own life. Obviously, taking too many sleeping aids made Lily question my actions that landed me in the hospital. Maybe I did enjoy escaping into that deep slumber, but overdose? That was never my intention even though during sleep, Nate was there for me. Thankfully, our bond strengthened and soon, I could connect with him whenever I chose -- especially on our mountain.
That is, until Ethan was out for a run...on our hiking trail, no less! And then, he and those gorgeous green eyes that reminded me so much of Nate’s had to go and find their way into my heart.
How could I be falling for him when I’m still in love with Nate? It felt like I was cheating on Nate. Was that even possible? Perhaps the very fact that I even contemplated these thoughts meant that I really was in need of Ethan’s professional guidance, and if that were the case, then it was no wonder he kept his distance. I was teetering on the edge of my sanity and he was a resident psychiatrist, someone wise enough to keep the element of crazy at bay.
Like a washing machine rotating the clothes around in a sudsy haze, the questions and thoughts whirled around my brain until I decided that the only way to make sense of it all was to spend quality alone time to figure things out.
Ethan and I were like Newton balls -- those solid metal ones on strings that bounce together and then apart. My boss mandated visits with Ethan to ensure I was “stable” and “no longer a threat to myself.” And I had to go and be a jerk about it. I wasn’t willing to lie on a couch. If he really wanted to help me, it would be while hiking, I insisted. I never thought he would agree. He was kind and I pushed him away.
I rolled down the car window, relishing the crisp November air and continued to drive without really any direction. Looks like I got my wish. Too bad I decided too late that being with him wasn’t so bad after all. He was easy to talk to and easy on the eyes. That’s all the encouragement I needed to get confused and start kissing him when I thought I was kissing Nate.
At least Ethan had the decency to pull away, but my heart and my pride were both left in shambles. So, I did the only thing that I could think of -- I ran. Left him on the spot, believing that he had done something wrong, when in truth, it was all me. I wasn’t ready to apologize to him or face my sister, who could read me with a single glance. I needed more time.
I turned the car around, returning to the mountain after driving off and abandoning Ethan. I figured he would leave right after me and I could come back. I planned to text my sister and tell her not to expect me for dinner. And that’s when my car had other plans. A flat.
I pulled over to the side of the road and even though the phone still displayed my sister’s number, I just couldn’t bring myself to call her. I guess I figured I would hike for a bit and then call AAA. They worked 24 hours a day and I wasn’t in a hurry. I wasn’t in a hurry to deal with reality -- not the reality of a flat tire, my inability to let go of Nate, or the fact that Ethan was invading my thoughts more often than I liked.
I got out of the car and looked at it with disdain. It was showing a bit of wear for its age, exactly how I had been feeling lately. I was torn, confused and messed up, just like its chipped paint and flat tire. Anyone else would have taken this as a sign to go home, but I saw the opposite -- a reason to go on with my original pursuit. What difference would it make? The car wasn’t going anywhere. It wasn’t unlike my life. With a job that was on the line and a personal life that was equally in shambles, I had nowhere to go either.