Unspeakable Truths (26 page)

“I’m glad that you understand why I would be a little apprehensive, but I’m not here to judge you or your relationship. Luca’s an adult, and I’m happy as long as he’s happy.”

“Well then be happy Mom,” I say doing my best to reassure her.

She looks at me a moment longer before turning away. I’m pretty sure she’s going to go easy on Ev now so when I finish my glass of wine, I excuse myself and go off to help my dad with the garage door repair. Everly seems a little bit more at ease as I go, and I’m satisfied that she’ll be able to get through this evening just fine.

~Everly~

I thought I was going to have a panic attack when Luca left to go help his dad but thankfully I held my shit together. This is important, this is me and Luca proving to his parents…his mom specifically, that we’re the real deal. It might be the only chance I get to prove to her that I’m worthy of his love, and I can’t let him down. He would stand by me regardless, whether his mom loved me or hated me I know he’d still stay with me. He’d deal with that kind of tension in order for us to be together, but I don’t want him to have to do that. Especially when he’s already sacrificed so much for me.

“So how are you doing now that you know the whole truth?”

“I’m alright, but it was hard to hear the truth. I felt like all of that time I spent with Tyler was a lie, and I didn’t know how to come to terms with that.”

“And now?” she asks thoughtfully.

“Now it’s better, I’m learning how to let it go, accept it for what it was, understand that he loved me the best way that he knew how but also that he was severely flawed. I didn’t have a perfect relationship, and his lies cost us all a lot.”

“That sounds about right.”

“Luca’s helped me a lot.”

“He has a good heart.”

I nod in agreement and give her a timid smile. “It’s more than that, he loves me, and from the beginning he made sacrifices for me that I didn’t even know he was making, and I don’t know how I can ever repay him for that.”

“Is that why you’re with him? Gratitude?”

“No, it’s not about gratitude. I cared about him too in the beginning, I wanted him to like me, and I thought that he was mean to me because he hated me. But really it was the opposite and when he told me the truth about what really happened, that knowledge allowed me to slowly move on, and it allowed me to explore feelings that I had for Luca that were just hidden beneath the surface for a long time.”

“So you really care about him.”

“I really love him. I really do, and I didn’t think that would happen for me again, and it’s scary that it had to happen with Tyler’s best friend, but more and more I’m starting to believe that it was just meant to be.”

“He deserves that, someone to believe in his love like that.”

“I agree. I know I’m probably not what you would want for him.”

She tilts her head giving me a confused look. “Why would you say that?”

“Because ultimately you lost your son for four years, and now he’s back and he’s telling you that he’s in love with the one person who you probably blame for him leaving in the first place. He was blamed for things he never did, and I was in the center of all of that.”

“But you weren’t the real reason right? I mean who dragged him nto the lies? Was it you?”

“No. It was Tyler.”

“Yes it was Tyler, and Tyler is gone; he’s not here to blame so I had to let that go. I never blamed you, and when I found out you were with Luca I was worried because I didn’t know where you were emotionally, but now I see you’ve got a hold on things. You know what’s right and real, and if you tell me you love my son then I believe you and I’m happy for you both.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. For the first time since I set foot in this house, I feel like Luca’s mother accepts me, accepts us together, and that’s all I really wanted. Dinner goes off without a hitch not at all as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and though I was really nervous about coming tonight I’m really happy that I’m here.

Luca gives my neck a squeeze with his free hand as he drives us to his apartment. I turn to face him and even though it’s dark I can easily tell that he’s happy and relieved. “You won my parents over tonight.”

“They’re really great baby, you’re very lucky to have them, I’m just glad that they don’t hate me.”

“No one could ever hate you.”

“I don’t know about that, but I was really scared that they would.”

“Nothing that happened in the past was your fault. You were left in the dark on a lot of things. We can all wish that things would have happened differently, but we still can’t change anything.”

This is something that I’ve thought about a lot in the last few weeks. “I don’t know that I would change it if I could, it all happened for a reason right? And we’re together now. Who’s to say we would have lasted had we gotten together so young, maybe it just wasn’t our time.”

“When did you get so smart and philosophical on me?” he questions making me laugh. “I love it when you laugh.”

“There was a time not so long ago when I was afraid that I might never laugh again. You gave that back to me.”

“You do the same for me. I never thought I’d have that from you.”

“I love you Luca.”

“I love you too Ev.”

Luca came by this morning to help me box up the remainder of Tyler’s things. Actually, Luca came by to box up Tyler’s things on his own because he knew that I wouldn’t be able to ever do it without having a minor breakdown. Not because I’m still madly in love with him but because getting rid of those things signifies that I’m finally letting him go and I can’t help but to carry a little bit of guilt in that. I don’t know why I kept everything for so long but I realize that it’s not healthy for me to keep hold of the personal belongings of a man who’s no longer here. There are a few pictures and things that I’ll keep as a reminder and a lot of things that I’ll give to Tyler’s parents. I’m sure they’d like to have some of it.

I finally got around to meeting with a realtor and after doing a walk through and appraisal she finally came by a couple of days ago and put a for sale sign on the front lawn. I know that I shouldn’t be but I’m shocked at how relieved I feel every time I look outside and see that sign out there. I’ve hated living here for so long, but I really thought that I’d be stuck here forever—that sign in my lawn is like being one step closer to freedom, one step closer to ridding myself of a house that has been like a prison to me since Tyler ceased to exist. I hate that I feel this way about a house that at one time held so much hope, a house that at one time contained all of my dreams for the future, but all of those dreams died with Tyler. It took some time, but I finally believe that I deserve to have a life beyond the pain, that I can have happiness again despite all of the heartbreak and as difficult as it’s been, I have Luca to thank for that.

I’m finishing up loading the dishwasher after clearing all of the breakfast dishes when I hear the doorbell ring. For a minute I think that it might just me my mom dropping by unannounced again but I’m surprised to see Tyler’s parents standing on my front porch when I open the door. I haven’t seen them since having dinner with them a while back and by the looks on their faces, they are not happy with me.

I look back and forth between them and greet, "Stella, Michael. How are you?"

Stella’s posture is impeccable, her frame rigid and I can tell it costs her, but she gives me a tight smile nonetheless, "May we come in?"

"Of course," I say opening the door wider to allow them access inside. If I couldn’t tell it before I can tell it now just by their demeanor and the expressions on their faces that this isn’t going to be a friendly visit.

Michael turns to face me and clears his throat before hitting me with it. "Everly we got a disturbing phone call last night from one of your neighbors."

I jerk my head not even bothering to try and hide the surprise on my face or the hint of hostility in my voice, "Excuse me? You got a phone call from one of
my
neighbors? Why would my neighbors be calling you?"

He holds his hand up in an attempt to placate me, stop me from going off the rails. "Well we were obviously concerned for your well being, living here all on your own, a young widow never knowing from one day to the next if you’d be alright, so we asked them to keep an eye on you."

I cross my arms along my chest holding them like a shield to protect me from the bullshit I know that they’re about to hit me with. I can not believe that they’ve had people watching me all this time. "I see and what disturbing news did the
neighbors
give you?"

"Well for starters dear we were stunned when they mentioned that there’s been a man coming in and out of your house at all hours but we knew we had to get right over here when we heard about the sale sign on the lawn. Everly what are you thinking? We’re honestly concerned about you."

Oh this is rich, this is un-frickin-believable that anyone would have the audacity to try and question what I do with my life. "With all due respect Michael, I’m an adult. Who I have coming in and out of
my
house is really none of your business. I’ve been on my own for four years, and if I feel like it’s time for me to date, I have every right to do that. And I have the right to sell
my
house it if I want to. I don’t think this is the best place for me anymore."

His face is red with ire—he actually thinks that he gets a choice here, that he has a right to dictate what I do and with whom I chose to move forward with. Or perhaps he’d rather just see me live my life alone forever, that’s the price I’m supposed to pay for loving and losing Tyler.

"This is the house that my son built for you.
You
because you wanted it and now what? Now it’s not good enough for you? All of a sudden you’re beyond this, you’d rather leave it behind?"

I take a deep breath trying to calm my emotions while at the same time steeling myself against the guilt trip that he’s throwing at me. I’ve spent way too long feeling guilty for every little thing where Tyler was concerned, I’ll be damned if I allow him to put me right back there, not after all of the progress I’ve made, not after what I’ve learned about the past about how this man pulled peoples strings like a puppet master weaving a story based on nothing but lies.

"I did want this house. I wanted it so that I could live here with Tyler, I wanted to build a life here, a family, and I’m never going to get to do that! I’m never going to get any of those things with him. It’s a dream that cannot come true… ever…and I’m sorry if that upsets you, but it’s how I feel. I need to live my life, and I don’t want to do it in a house that reminds me of all of the things that will never be."