Cody lifted a glass of champagne and laughed. “That rapper dude won’t
fuck
around with me anymore,” he shouted. “He can take his
fucking
politics and shove it up
his ass.” A few people turned and looked at their table. Cody’s words were starting to slur together, and his voice rose above everyone else in the restaurant. When he tried to take
a sip of champagne, Grayer smiled and reached for his wrist so he wouldn’t drink any
more. He squeezed his wrist hard and gave him a mean stare.
Everyone at the table pretended not to notice Grayer’s bold move. Carson Blaine
sat down and looked up at the ceiling. Cody bit his bottom lip and hesitated for a moment,
as if he was about to explode. He took a deep breath and clenched one fist. But then he
put the glass of champagne down and pushed it into the middle of the table. He smiled
and said in a low even voice, “I promised Grayer I’d be good tonight. No more
champagne for me. I won’t cause any trouble at all.”
Lance ignored everyone else. He looked into Rush’s eyes and said, “Welcome to
Hollywood. It’s so good to see you. I’ve been writing music again. I’ve even had a song
published and Cody’s agreed to sing it. I dedicated the song to you, because you inspired
me to write again.”
Rush felt the lump in his throat swell, and his stomach pulled. Looking into
Lance’s magnificent eyes brought back all the feelings he thought he’d put aside. “Ah
well, that’s very nice,” he said. “I’m glad you’re writing again.” He maintained a cool
tone. He hardly moved his head.
The others were talking to each other and ignoring Lance and Rush. “It’s all
because of you,” Lance said, smiling. “I think about you often.”
Rush didn’t know how to reply. He squeezed his napkin and said, “I’m glad to
hear you’re still writing.”
“I’m curious,” Lance said. “Whatever happened to that baby deer?”
Rush smiled. He hadn’t thought about the little calico fawn in a long time. “The vet kept me updated,” he said. “He was eventually brought to a farm, where they helped
him fully recuperate. Then he was set free. As far as I know, he’s roaming the backwoods
of Connecticut, happy and healthy.”
The waiter walked up to their table and asked if they were ready to order. Lance
smiled and said, “I’ll let you all get back to your dinner.” Then he leaned forward and
whispered to Rush, “How long will you be here in Hollywood?”
“Only a few days,” Rush said.
“I’ll call you,” Lance said. “We can get together and talk about old times.” Then
he squared his shoulders and said goodnight to everyone else. He didn’t give Rush a
chance to refuse; he knew how to take control of a situation. He returned to his table and
resumed talking to the blond guy.
While Carson Blaine was ordering from the menu, Cody kicked Rush under the
table and said, “Wasn’t it nice to see Lance again?” Then he stuck out his tongue and
smiled.
Rush took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow. He tipped his head to the side and
said, “Yes, it’s always nice to see old friends.”
But on the inside, he had a sinking feeling deep in his stomach. He knew he was
still in love with Lance. Though he’d learned to live without Lance, he knew he’d never
stop loving him. Then he wondered how difficult it would be to get the next flight back to
New York.
* * * *
When Lance said he’d call, Rush had no idea it would be that same night. After
dinner, Cody and the others wanted to hit a few awards parties and Rush just wasn’t up to it. He hadn’t been able to eat much and he kept forcing back yawns. So they dropped him
off at his hotel in Beverly Hills and he went up to his room to take a long hot bath. He
apologized to Cody a thousand times and promised to make it up to him the next time
Cody was in New York.
In the hotel room, Rush filled the sunken bathtub with hot water and bubbles, then
lowered the lights and lit a candle. He was so tired he didn’t even hang up his tuxedo. He
just stripped down and tossed it on the bathroom floor, which wasn’t like him. He usually
hung his clothes up and made sure things were neat and tidy. But running into Lance had
brought back all the feelings of insecurity he’d managed to conceal. The only thing he
wanted to do was close his eyes and let his mind go blank.
But when he sat down in the tub and sighed, his cell phone rang. The only reason
he reached down to the floor and pulled the phone out of his pants was because he was
afraid it might be his aunt in Connecticut calling. She’d done well in her own since his
mother had passed away, but he knew she was lonely and he knew she tended to get
frightened at the slightest unusual noise. Sometimes, Rush knew, she called just to hear
his voice.
He wiped his hand on a towel and opened the phone. It was too dark to check the
caller ID. “Hello?” he said.
“Hey,” Lance said. “I’m glad I got you. I was afraid you’d be out at a party and
you wouldn’t hear the phone.”
Rush smiled and shook his head. “I’m actually in my hotel room right now,” he
said, “sitting in a tub filled with hot water and bubbles.”
“No parties?” Lance asked. Rush shrugged. “I had a headache. They went on without me.”
Lance hesitated for a moment. “Actually,” he said, “to be honest, I ran into Cody
at a party and he said you’d gone back to the hotel. I’m down in the lobby right now. Can
I come up? I promise I won’t stay long. I just want to see you for a few minutes. Just as
an old friend.”
Rush raised his brows. “Ah well,” he said, laughing, “I’m in the tub, old friend.”
“Just for a minute,” Lance said. “I’ll keep my eyes closed the entire time.”
“What happened to your good-looking date?” Rush asked.
“I told him I had a headache and wanted to go home alone.”
Rush made a face and rolled his eyes. He couldn’t say no. He wanted to see Lance,
too. He wanted to hear his voice, look into his eyes, and watch his lips move up and
down. “I guess a few minutes can’t hurt,” he said. “I’ll unlock the door for you. Just
come inside.”
When he closed the phone, he jumped out of the tub, ran to the door, and
unlocked it. Then he ran back to the bathroom and slipped into the tub. He knew why
Lance was coming to his room, and he didn’t want to play games. Lance wasn’t coming
to talk about the good old days. He wanted more than words, and so did Rush.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on the hotel room door. “Come in,”
Rush shouted from the tub. “I’m in the bathroom.” For a moment, it occurred to him that
he might have been presumptuous in assuming Lance wanted more. Maybe Lance only
wanted to talk about old times. A sinking feeling passed through his stomach. Suddenly
he wanted to get dressed as fast as he could. He heard the door open, then click shut. The outer room was dimly lit; Rush
watched Lance’s shadow move toward him. When Lance reached the bathroom, he
leaned into the door frame and rubbed his jaw, staring down at Rush in the tub. He smiled
and shook his head. The only light in the bathroom came from two candles on the edge of
the tub. He smiled and said, “Aren’t you worried that someone else might come in here
and find you like this? It could be dangerous.”
Rush looked up at him and smiled. From the way Lance was leering at him, he
knew he’d done the right thing by not getting dressed. Lance was still wearing his tux; his
hair was perfect. Even though he’d been out all night, he looked as if he’d just stepped
out of a fashion magazine. “The only danger I’m worried about tonight is you.”
Lance pulled his tie, yanked it off his neck, and tossed it on the bathroom floor.
He smiled and said. “Me? I’m the dangerous one? I come up here to talk over old times
and find you naked in a tub filled with bubbles, smiling at me through candlelight.
You’re
the dangerous one.”
Rush shrugged his shoulders and flicked a few bubbles in Lance’s direction. “I
can always get out of the tub, put on a robe, and turn on all the lights. I’ll order coffee
and we can go down memory lane.”
Lance removed his jacket and dropped it on the floor. He unbuttoned his white
shirt and pulled the tails out of his pants. “Or I could just join you in the tub.”
Rush pressed his lips together and thought for a moment. He knew that by being
with Lance again he would be taking a monstrous chance with his emotions. After they
broke up, the deepest pain had disappeared with time. But he still woke up each morning with a distant, uneasy feeling, thinking about Lance. And there were still nights, when he
least expected it, when he’d dream he was in Lance’s strong arms.
Rush tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “If you join me in the tub,
does that mean you’re going to at least spend the night with me?” He knew, deep in his
heart, he could not refuse Lance. He also knew, in spite of the consequences involved, if
he turned Lance away that night he’d always regret it. But he was in love with Lance, and
he wanted to make it clear that this was more than just a booty call for him.
Lance lunged to the edge of the tub and went down on his knees. He grabbed
Rush’s wet hand, pressed it to his face, and said, “I’m here for as long as you want me to
be here. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the day I left you at the train station.
When I first saw you in the Times Square ad, I was crossing the street and almost got hit
by a car. And when I saw you tonight, I wanted to fall down on my knees and beg you to
forgive me in the middle of the restaurant.” He covered his face with Rush’s hand, took a
deep breath, and kissed his palm. “I’m more in love with you now than I’ve ever been.”
Rush leaned forward and pressed his other hand on the back of Lance’s head. He
kissed his forehead and whispered, “Why don’t you take off your pants and get in while
the water is still warm?”
When Lance removed his pants, he pulled a condom out of his pocket and placed
it on the edge of the tub. He stepped into the large tub and kneeled down between Rush’s
legs. He was fully erect by then. Rush lifted his legs and rested his feet on the edges of
the tub, then reached into the water and wrapped his hand around Lance’s penis. He
jerked it back and forth a few times and said, “It’s been a long time. Put on the condom.” “I’ll put it on in a few minutes,” Lance said. “But there’s something I’ve been
dying to do to you since the last time I was with you. I’ve thought about it often. Close
your eyes.”
Rush wasn’t sure what he was talking about. But a second later, Lance’s head was
under the water and between Rush’s legs. He pressed his lips to Rush’s small, tight
opening and kissed it with gentle pecks. Rush lifted his legs higher and moaned. His eyes
were closed and his mouth was open. He’d been with a few other men since he’d last
seen Lance, but no one had done this to him.
When Lance came up for air, Rush smiled and said, “You have stubble. You
didn’t shave today.”
“I shaved last night. Is my beard too rough?” Lance asked, gasping for air. There
was water dripping down his face and he had soap bubbles on top of his head.
Rush didn’t answer him. He just lifted his legs higher and pushed Lance’s head
into the water again.
This time Lance didn’t just kiss and peck. He shoved his mouth between Rush’s
legs so hard water splashed out of the tub. He started grinding and chewing the softest
part of Rush’s body with his teeth. His heavy beard rubbed against the bottom of Rush’s
ass while his tongue probed Rush’s anus. Every muscle in Rush’s body tingled with
pleasure; each time Lance inserted his tongue, Rush’s toes curled. When Lance came up
for air, he took a few quick breaths, then went down between Rush’s legs with more force.
And Rush just lay there with his legs wide open, falling in love with Lance all over again. By the time Lance was ready to enter Rush, he whispered, “Put your legs over my
shoulders.” He’d just pulled his head out of the water for the last time and his voice was
hoarse.
Rush followed Lance’s orders, and his entire body tingled and vibrated, longing
for more. Lance put on the lubricated condom, then shoved two fingers inside Rush’s
body to make sure Rush was ready to take him. Rush’s body jerked, and he gasped. A
moment later, Lance pulled his fingers out and mounted Rush with one deep thrust. Rush
rested his ankles on Lance’s shoulders and arched his feet. This time, when Lance entered