“Baby, come to…come on.”
I blink at him, but he is so hazy. Why can’t I speak?
“She is in shock Jax,” Rusty says. “We need to get her to a hospital.”
“She will come too.
Call Mack.”
Jax wipes my face over and over, but I just can’t focus. I want to speak, to scream or even cry but my body has fallen into a dead hole. I feel as though my arms and legs are filled with tiny bugs, crawling all through my veins. I can’t breathe, not any more than a small pant. I can hear the voices around me, but I can’t respond to any of them.
“Hey, baby, come on.”
I blink and blink; until my husband clears in front of me. He takes my damp cheek and brings my face closer to his.
“I got you, why did you get sick,
Jade
you need to tell me
whose
hand that is.”
It takes a lot of effort, but I answer.
“It…my mother.”
“Holy shit, fuck. Call the cops and find out if Grace
Casteah
made it back to Russia.
God
Dammit
, no.”
Rusty disappears inside and Jax quickly wraps the package, but not before pulling out a small note. He reads it and curses.
“W-w-what Jax?”
I whisper.
“Nothing.”
“READ IT!” I scream.
He tosses me the note, and I open it with trembling hands.
I told you I would draw you out, one way or another.
You didn’t listen.
Silly pirates.
If you had have given me the treasure, the woman wouldn’t have died.
Next will be your daughter, or better yet, your wife.
Give.
Me. The.
Treasure.
I scream; finally it comes out in a loud, high pitched wail. It is so loud the
neighbors
come from their homes and people stop on the street. Jax takes me and shakes me slightly, but I can’t stop, it just comes out all horrified and hurt. Mack pulls up the car a moment later and rushes out, Sam close behind. He drops to his knees in front of me.
“Hey, hey,
Jade
…”
I am screaming so loudly it hurts, I grip his shirt and claw at his chest. Jax is behind me, crushing his body to his chest.
“Jax, what the hell?”
“Mack…fuck…
it’s
Grace.”
Mack pales, I mean, pales. Jax shoves the box and note towards him, and he reads it, then wails, a loud, angry wail. Sam rushes over and drops by his side, but he is incoherent. Like me.
“What is happening Jax?”
“As far as I can tell, Grace is dead.”
“W-w-what?”
“Ben got her.
Mailed her fucking hand,
God
Damn
that filthy son of a bitch.”
I lean over, and dry retch again, nothing comes out. Jax whispers soothing words in my ears and rubs my back. By now, the cops from over the road are here, and people have stopped and are surrounding the house.
“Fuck, this isn’t good.” I hear Jax
mumble
.
“Do you know what has happened?” The cop asks.
“No.”
Jax says, stony faced.
“And this hand?”
“As far as I know belongs to Grace, Queen of Russia.”
“The queen?
Why would her hand be here?”
“That is her daughter, Jade. Someone left it for us.”
“Do you know who?”
“No.” Jax lies so well.
“Any idea why someone would do this?”
“People hate royalty, Jades story has been around the world and back. It wouldn’t take much.”
“I am calling in back up.”
“You need to call her husband and find out for sure this is her.”
“Without a body, nothing is sure.”
I wail again, and Jax takes me gently into his arms. Mack is sitting on the steps, staring, just staring.
“Look, I can’t do this now. Come back later.”
“Thanks sir, we have all we need for now.”
I don’t recall much of what happened in the next few hours. I know a lot of people were around, Jax, Jack, Layla, PJ, Jax’s parents, but I don’t speak to any of them. I curl in a ball on the bed, and I cry.
My mother, my poor mother.
This is
all my
fault, I did this. I involved my family with pirates, I should have listened all those years ago,
and I
should have never run away. This is on me.
The next two days pass in a blur, my
mother’s
body is found, and a funeral is planned. Jax sends Lilly to the island, dropping her off himself. I am thankful for that. I refuse to go. I am going home, to be with my old family at this time of need. I need to say goodbye to my mother; I need to go and let go of my kingdom and my name. I made that choice the minute her body showed.
Jax is coming with me, along with the crew and Mack. We are sailing just so we can keep the search up for Ben. Jax is onto me now more than ever to touch the
treasure,
he is terrified for me, for my life. He doesn’t leave my side, he doesn’t sleep. He is beyond guilt, just like me. The trip is slow as expected and it takes us a week to get home. When we do, I dread going back to the kingdom. To the home I left.
When we arrive at the walls, old memories wash over me. The pub next door is still there and still empty. The people swarm the gates, awaiting my arrival. I stare at them as the car stop; I know I have to get out, to walk in and face them. I don’t know if I can. Jax squeezes my hand, Mack squeezes the other. I see Steffan, standing on the other side waiting. Just a few meters, that is all.
“Come on, I got you.”
Jax gets out of the car first and photographers go mad, asking questions and shoving cameras in his face. He ignores them, like a pro. Mack cops the same and when I get out, the crowd goes crazy.
“Princess, you are home. Is it true you ran with pirates?”
“Princess, how does it feel to return to your abandoned kingdom?”
“Princess, is it true your mother died saving you?”
I swallow and shove through the crowd behind my father and husband. When we get through the gates, they are slammed closed, and I finally breathe. Steffan greets me with a warm hug, he should hate me,
God
knows
he should but he doesn’t. I melt into him, desperate for anything even close to my mother.
“How are you Jade?”
“I am dealing,” I whisper. “I am so sorry.”
“No, it isn’t your fault. Bad people are bad people, and they do what they have to, to get what they want. You couldn’t have helped what happened.”
“I could have never left all those years ago, never tangled myself with pirates.”
Jax flinches beside me, but doesn’t say anything.
“Life has a way of working Jade, it just goes how it is meant to, and things happen for a reason. Regardles
s of how you feel now, you were meant to leave back then, if you didn’t it would have been your funeral we attended
.
Life has a way, it isn’t always nice but it has a way.
”
Steffan turns to Jax and extends his hand.
“Jax welcome, thank you for bringing her home.
Grace would have wanted it.”
“Thank you. Sorry for your loss.”
“Thanks.
Mack, nice to see you here too.”
Mack shakes
Steffan's
hand stiffly. “Yeah, thanks.”
“You are all welcome to our guest housing.”
“Actually, I am going to stay next door. It’s been
va
can’t
a few months and is still clean. I have the key; I spoke to the current owner. He was happy to let me pay him to use it for a while. I could use the distraction.”
I gape at Jax. “You are staying away from me?”
He strokes my cheek. “No, you can come as much or as little as you want. Right now baby, you need this time. I will be here, any time you need.”
“Are you going to run it?”
“Nah, just stay there.”
“Ok.” I whisper.
“Mack?”
“I will stay with Jax.”
“I guess it is just me then.” I say to Steffan.
“Come on, your old room is just as it was.”
“Thanks.”
“We will go settle in, then come back. Have you got a key to the gate?”
Steffan pulls out a keychain and hands Jax a key. He thanks him once more and then kisses me softly, with promises to be back once they have rested and freshened up. Mack doesn’t kiss me
goodbye;
in fact, Mack has hardly looked at me since my
mother’s
death.
“Come on love.”
I watch the two men leave, then follow Steffan in. I am bombarded by the maids and cooks, who hug and pull me, by the time I get to my room I am exhausted and emotionally drained. My room truly does look the same and I am overwhelmed with emotion. I don’t know what to think or feel. I touch everything, and let the tears flow down my cheeks. When Steffan enters a moment later and finds me on the floor sobbing, I am grateful for his arms that slide around me.
“It’s ok. It will be ok.”
“I loved her so much, this is
all my
fault.”
“No, you can’t do this to yourself. You picked the life you picked, but you never asked for her to be involved. It was a horrible thing to happen, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“It was my fault, I live a dangerous life, and she told me before she died that one day it would take someone I loved. It was her.”
“Then maybe it is time to change that life, but you can’t blame yourself for the choice you made. You have a beautiful family and a loving husband. I know this ended tragically, but you have to stop blaming yourself.”
“I don’t know if I can. My own father can’t even look at me.”
“Well, while he is doing that, I am here. I did a lot wrong to you Jade, and you aren’t my daughter, but you grew up around me, and it wasn’t until you left I realized how much I missed you. How much I missed your attitude and your constant defiance. You made things amusing, and I treated you badly. I owe you a heartfelt apology for that. I made mistakes, then and now. I was having an affair; I know your mother knew
,
I knew you knew but I did it anyway. I was lonely and knew your mother still loved Mack. She wasn’t the same after she saw him again and I knew it. I felt alone; no child, no wife, both lost to one man. I don’t hate him for that, or you, or her, but I am sorry.”
I hug him tighter. “For what it’s worth, I still loved you, even when you treated me badly.”
He smiles and stands.
“How about some tea?”
“Thank
you, that
would be nice.”
“Get some rest, please.”
I nod, and when he is gone, I slip into the shower. I spend a good half hour in there, trying to wash away the guilt and loss for my mother. I miss her;
God
do I miss her. I feel sick at how she died, and I can’t shake the pain in my chest. I have cried so many times, I couldn’t begin to count them, and my father isn’t speaking to me. He blames me. I know he does.
I get out and dress, then slip into bed. It is late afternoon, and I just need some time alone. I miss Jax already, but know he needs time too. He knows I am safe here, and I know he will be resting. I pull out my
phone and hesitate. I want to talk to Mack, I just don’t know how. He won’t even look at me. Maybe if I ask him to meet me, we can sort it out. I punch in his number.
Daddy can we talk?
He doesn’t reply for a long moment.
I am tired.
Please?
Jade, I am tired.
Fine don’t bother.
Fine, I am coming.
I sip my tea and wait, an hour later Mack walks through my door with the maid behind him. He watches her leave,
and then
shuts the door and stands, staring at me. It is the first time he has looked at me for a good few days.
“What is it?”
His tone, it is impatient, but most of all, it is hurt. He is angry and hurt, I can see it.
“Why can’t you look at me?”
“I am looking at you right now.”
“Mack…”
“Don’t call me Mack.” He hisses, so angrily it shocks me.
“Don’t ignore me then! You are treating me like you can’t stand me; I don’t understand why. I miss her too, I am hurting too.”
“Yeah well you wouldn’t be if you just…”
“What?” I whisper, trembling. “What?”
“If you just stayed the fuck away from Jax all those years ago.”
If he had slapped me, it would have hurt less.