Who Moved My Blackberry? (26 page)

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Barry Malone

Hi Barry—Can I offer my perspective on this morning's press coverage? I think there are two key learnings we can take out from this. It is vital to bear in mind that the market and the media are incredibly conservative, and they take a long time to recognize a creovative™ way of communicating. The second message is that we are becoming victims of our own success. The market had decided that you can walk on water. That means if our numbers come in slightly below analysts' figures, they totally overreact. I think you are 210 percent right to keep a steady hand on the tiller. Shares have already bounced back a bit this am. This is just a blip.

All my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Cindy Czarnikow

Hi Cindy! Thanks for your offer. A potluck brunch on Sunday would be great. I'm hoping that Jens will be over at the weekend. She'd love to see you too!

Best, Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora

Sorry I haven't touched base until now. I've been so in demand, you wouldn't believe it. The job is a blast. Totally energizing—I'm still not over the jet lag, and am only sleeping about four hours a night, but I've never felt better. Will e-mail properly when I get a window.

22.5 percent better than my bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Barry Malone

Hi Barry

I've been thinking outside the square on the name for our PPP conference and I think we need to brand it so that people will realize that we haven't simply changed our name to a-b glöbâl, but we are embracing change across the spectrum. I suggest we call it One Family! What do you think?

I've drawn up a list of internal speakers and have had a coup in getting Tom Peters. I felt he hit a stale patch a couple of years back, but his Re-imagine! Stuff is extraordinary!

Bestest Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

Darling—I have personally argued the case for you to give a plenary address at our conference on Storytelling—this is going to be a mega opportunity for you to make your name.

In return, why don't you come out for the weekend—Cindy is giving a brunch for me, and it'd give you the chance to get to know Barry and Randee?

Martin

PS Give my love to the boys and tell Max I'll get him a top of the range iPod for his b'day.

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

I have been trying so incredibly hard to be nice to you. In return you are cold and sarcastic. If I wasn't such a basically decent guy I would can your speech.

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Hi Pinky darling

Sorry I haven't e-mailed for a day or two. The pace is crazy here! Haven't had time to job hunt for you properly, but I've got an idea. Why not come out for a long weekend next weekend?

Love Perky xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Cindy Czarnikow

Hi Cindy

Much looking forward to Sunday. What's your address? Unfortunately Jens isn't going to be able to make it. A young former colleague of mine might be passing through Atlanta, so I might bring her.

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Graham Wallace

Hi Graham—Big article in NY Times about Barry's affair with Janine, implying that his Number 7 position in Fortune rankings was a stitch-up, and that Randee is going to take him to the cleaners.

I told you something was up.

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Barry Malone

Hi Barry

First up can I offer my sincere condolences at all this recent publicity. I strongly believe that your private life concerns only your good self (and Randee and Janine, of course!). I know you to be a man of the highest integrity, and if these stories persist, I suggest we retaliate with stories about all your charity work.

On a more personal level, can I say how strongly I empathize with your position, being personally embroiled in something similar myself!

Bestest, Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Dearest Pinky

Did you get back home safely? I realize the weekend was a bit difficult for us both, and sorry if I was a tad distracted.

Perky

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Pinky—yes of course I want us to carry on! I do love you a lot Pinky. I just need a bit of space at the moment. Sorry I didn't tell Cindy and everyone that we were an item. I was waiting for the right time. But then you got so pissed … it was all highly unfortunate.

P

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Keri—please don't! Please give me another chance … I really don't see why we can't carry on … you've totally got the wrong end of the stick in thinking that this is just a sex thing for me. Obviously the corporal appreciates you (!!) but I really love you as a holistic person. Going back to Kiwiland is way too extreme.

From your busy but very loving Porky

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Barry Malone

Do you ever think women are more trouble than they're worth?

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Barry Malone

No, I don't either! I agree they are beautiful too—some more than others!! And yes, I'm getting on with the synopsis for the One Family! conference, which I'll have with you shortly!

Bestest Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

Dear Jenny

When we talked on the phone just now, I felt that you had no interest in hearing my side of the story. So I have decided to write this e-mail to share my feelings with you. You say you want a divorce, and if that is what you want, I'm not going to stand in your way.

However I think that before we go down that road, you should think about what this would do to the boys. You should also meditate on where you are now, and how you got there.

You seem to think that somehow I'm in the wrong. But it does take two. Deep down, I think you know that.

As I have decided to be totally honest, I should also say how angry I am with you. Relationships are hard work, Jens, and it deeply saddens me that you are not prepared to put that work in. I've been thinking outside the square on this one, and it seems to me that marriage involves give and take. And frankly at the moment you only seem interested in taking.

I made a mistake. Not only have I put my hand up and said sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I have also grown from my mistake. I have a saying that has helped me a lot in the past 10 months: No failure, only feedback. Neither of us has failed. We need to concentrate on the learnings out of this, and see if we can grow as people from them.

I have also decided that there is no place for Keri in my life. I doubt if she and I will ever speak to each other again. It never meant anything, Jens. She was my midlife crisis, if you will, and I'm now ready to move onto the next level.

No need to reply at once. I want you to read this message and think deeply about it. Read it again. Sleep on it. And then tell me—are you prepared to walk the extra mile?

Jens—I've talked the talk. But now I am going to walk the walk. You must believe me.

Your husband

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Pandora

A lot has happened in the last two weeks that I should debrief you on. Basically, first and foremost, the job is all I wanted and more. Totally pivotal, totally powerful, and Barry and I make a perfect partnership. I'm the Yin to his Yang, if you will.

I've got the Aston Martin DB9! Since I put one in that scrapbook, and focused on how much I really did want one, it's come true. (Or rather, it will come true when the guys at the AM factory move their lazy arses and make it for me!)

I think the car will be well aligned with my leadership brand … Already Barry sees me very much as the Brit maverick. The DB9 is the perfect car for that.

On the domestic front, you'd be very proud of me—I have sent Jens a long e-mail putting down all my feelings, and encouraging her to challenge her own. No reply as yet, but I told her to take her time.

22.5 percent better than my bestest

Martin

From:
Barry Malone

To:
All Staff

Howdy!

Next week our 300 most senior leaders will assemble in the beautiful location of Paradise Island for this company's 16th annual management conference.

This year is going to be uniquely special. For the first time we are gathering under our new a-b glöbâl identity, united as One Global Family with One Prayer, One Misson and One Set of Behaviors. It is the first year that we have committed to our goal of Phenomenal Performance Permanently.

We have traveled a very long way in the past year. We have a lot to celebrate.

If I had one wish, it would be that all of our 30,000 leaders could join hands and celebrate together. And so for the first time I have arranged to have my plenary address at Paradise Island beamed by satellite to every location globally, so that we will all be able to share the moment and rejoice together.

I have tasked Martin Lukes and Cindy Czarnikow with sending out a schedule for the conference. Please reach out to them or to me if there are any issues, any questions or any thoughts to share!

I love you all

Barry

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin—

It is Month Eleven, and you are ready to binge on life!

There is one more thing to do first. You need to think about your relationships with other people and ask yourself: are my relationships aligned with New Me? If not, it may be time to let them go.

In essence there are three sorts of relationship—

The energy draining relationship—you do not want these people in your life!

The energy dependent relationship—there is balance here but it's not extraordinary.

The energy exchange relationship—this works like a rocket, where the other person's energy will help catapult you to being better than your best. You must make some choices, Martin. I want you to be really honest and think of your relationships. Which ones drain you, and which ones blast you into space like a rocket?

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora

Will analyze relationships soonest. Am feeling a tad below par this morning—I am having issues around sleep. Basically I go to sleep fine—a couple of glasses of whiskey do the trick—and then wake up around 3am and can't get back. Went to the doctor last week who gave me some pills, but they don't make much difference, so I'm going back today for something stronger.

Maybe my body is just adapting to my turbocharged lifestyle. Margaret Thatcher was also on the go 24/7/365 and she only slept four hours a night. And she thrived on it!

22.5 percent better than my very bestest

Martin

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin

Alcohol and drugs are a no-no!! When you have true self belief, you do not need crutches that give you a chemical high. Your brain is a powerful tool, Martin. You should be able to use it to make you feel deep profound relaxation. Before you go to bed, dim the lights, sit on the side of your bed and close your eyes. I want you to imagine a sword of white light slowly penetrating your body from the top of your head, running down to the base of your spine. I want you to start chanting your core values to yourself, over and over again, until you feel a deep sense of peace and well being and are ready to lie down and to sleep.

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Pinky—I do wish you wouldn't sulk—I have enough of that with the wife. Please send me a message and tell me when you're going to come and see Perky. He misses you.

xxxx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora

Alas, still no sleep. I did try the white sword but nothing doing. I know you don't like them, but the new pills the doctor gave me are brilliant.

Re relationships—hard one, this. Off the top of my head, I'd say my relationship with Barry is definitely a rocket. We both give the other something—together we are much stronger than apart. My mum is probably a rocket too. With her I feel I can go to the top. Pandora, although we've never shared face time, I'd say my relationship with you has some rocket-like qualities too!! I hate to say it, but Jens does definitely sap my energy. But then she is my wife, so maybe that's different.