You are a Badass (3 page)

Read You are a Badass Online

Authors: Jen Sincero

Tags: #Self-Help, #Nonfiction

• Money = struggle
• Money is unavailable.
• It’s money’s fault that I was abandoned by my father.
• Money sucks and causes pain.

Cut to you as an adult who, in your conscious mind, would love nothing more than to be raking in the dough, but who is subconsciously mistrusting of money, believes it’s unavailable to you and who worries that if you make it, you’ll be abandoned by someone you love. You may then manifest these subconscious beliefs by staying broke no matter how hard you
consciously
try to make money, or by repeatedly making tons of money and then losing it in order to avoid being abandoned, or in a plethora of other, frustrating ways.

No matter what you say you want, if you’ve got an underlying subconscious belief that it’s going to cause you pain or isn’t available to you, you either A) Won’t let yourself have it, or B) You will let yourself have it, but you’ll be rill fucked up about it. And then you’ll go off and lose it anyway.

We don’t realize that by eating that fourth doughnut or by ignoring our intuition and marrying that guy who’s an awful lot like our low-down, cheatin’ daddy, that we’re being driven by our subconscious minds, not our conscious minds. And that when our subconscious beliefs are out of alignment with the things and experiences we want in our conscious minds (and hearts), it creates confusing conflicts between what we’re trying to create and what we’re actually creating. It’s like we’re driving with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. (Obviously we all have awesome subconscious beliefs as well, but we’re not talking about those right now.)

Here are some other scenarios that may or may not ring a bell:

Conscious Mind:
I long to find and marry my soul mate.
Subconscious Mind:
Intimacy leads to pain and suffering.
Finger:
Ringless
Conscious Mind:
I want to lose 25 pounds.
Subconscious Mind:
People aren’t safe; I must build a shield to protect myself.
Body:
A fortress of flab
Conscious Mind:
I’m hot and sexy and want to get it on.
Subconscious Mind:
Physical pleasure is shameful.
Sex Life:
Yawn
Conscious Mind:
I want to travel the world.
Subconscious Mind:
Fun = irresponsible = I won’t be loved
Passport:
Blank

It’s sort of like not being able to enjoy sitting on your front porch anymore because it totally reeks of something foul out there. You can come up with all these brilliant ways to deal with the problem—light incense, set up fans, blame it on the dog—but until you realize that something has crawled under your house and died, your problems will linger on, stinking up your life.

The first key to ridding yourself of limiting subconscious beliefs is to become aware of them. Because until you’re aware of what’s really going on, you’ll keep working with your conscious mind (think you need to paint the porch) to solve a problem that’s buried far beneath it (dead skunk removal) in your subconscious, which is an exercise in futility.

Take a minute to look at some of the less-than-impressive areas of your life and think about the underlying beliefs that could have created them. Let’s take the old crowd-pleaser, lack of money, for example. Are you making far less money than you know you’re capable of earning? Have you reached a certain income level that, no matter what you do, you can’t seem to go above? Does generating an abundance of money consistently seem like something you’re not even physically capable of? If so, write down the first five things that come to your mind when you think about money. Is your list full of hope and bravado or fear and loathing? What are your parents’ beliefs about money? What are the beliefs of the other people you grew up around?
What was their relationship with money like? Do you see any connection between their money beliefs and yours?

Later on in this book I’m going to give you tools to go much deeper with your subconscious beliefs and fix whatever’s blocking you from living the kind of life you’d love to live, but for now, practice stepping aside, notice what’s happening in the dysfunctional areas of your life and strengthen your almighty awareness muscle. Start waking up to the stories you’re working with in your subconscious (I’ll have to do things I hate in order to make money, I’ll feel trapped if I get into an intimate relationship, if I go on a diet I’ll never get to eat anything fun again, if I enjoy sex I’ll burn in Hell with the rest of the dirty sinners, etc.). Because once you see what’s really going on, you can start to drag out the stinky carcasses of your limiting subconscious beliefs and give them the heave-ho, thereby opening up the space to invite the fresh, new, awesome beliefs and experiences that you’d love to have, into your life.

CHAPTER 2:

THE G WORD

If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.
—Nokola Tesla; inventor, physicist, supergenius

When I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico, my friends and I used to hang out at this western bar called Midnight Rodeo. It was the kind of place that had curling irons and hair spray in the women’s bathroom, Bud Light on permanent special for two bucks a can, and a solid oak dance floor the size of a cornfield.

We were all from the East Coast and were way too cool for country music, so at first we’d go just to snootily make fun of it all, taking
great pride in being the first to spot a particularly gigantic belt buckle or a cowboy sporting one of them handlebar mustaches big enough to cover five upper lips. But our favorite part was the line dancing. We’d stare mesmerized by the giant, choreographed mass of Garth Brooks fans, stomping around in synchronized woo-hooery with their thumbs purposefully tucked into the front pockets of their jeans.

It was so hilarious that we started joining in ourselves, waving from the middle of the sea of cowboy hats to our friends—
watch this!
Then, uh, we’d stay on the floor for the next song, just to try and get that part down where you click your heels right before the spin. Then we found ourselves sneaking off every weekend to merrily line dance our little achy breaky hearts out.

This is sort of the same way the God thing happened for me. It started out with much snarkiness and eye rolling, but I was so broke and clueless and sick of being such a weenie about really going for it in my life, that I was open for suggestions. Which is why, when I started reading books on finding your calling and making money and getting over yourself already, and they all had this spiritual side to them, I didn’t toss them in the Goodwill pile with my usual
this God/spirituality crap is for suckers
attitude. Instead I decided to give good old God a chance because I had nothing to lose. Literally. And lo and behold, some of it wasn’t totally idiotic. So I started reading more about it. Then I started studying it. Then I started putting it into practice. Then I noticed how much better it made me feel. Then I started believing it. Then I noticed all these awesome shifts starting to happen in my life. Then I became obsessed with it. Then I started loving it. Then I started radically changing my life with it. Then I started teaching it. Now I’m basically riding the mechanical bull about it, punching my fist in the air and hollering to the guy manning the controls, “Hit it, Wayne!”

Wherever you happen to stand on the God issue, let me just say that that this whole improving your life thing is going to be a lot easier
if you have an open mind about it. Call it whatever you want— God, Goddess, The Big Guy, The Universe, Source Energy, Higher Power, The Grand Poobah, gut, intuition, Spirit, The Force, The Zone, The Lord, The Vortex, The Mother Lode—it doesn’t matter. Personally, I find the God word to be a tad too loaded, I prefer Source Energy, The Universe, The Vortex, Spirit, The Mother Lode (all of which I will use interchangeably throughout this book, FYI). Whatever you choose to call it isn’t important, what is important is that you start to develop an awareness of, and a relationship with, the Source Energy that’s surrounding you and within you (which is all the same energy), and which will be your best pal ever if you give it a chance. Because here’s the thing:

All of us are connected to this limitless power and most of us aren’t using but a fraction of it.

Our energy is taking a joy ride in these bodies of ours; learning, growing, and evolving along the way (one would hope, anyway—I suppose, numbing, shrinking and moving back in with our parents is also an option), until our corporal journey comes to an end and we move on . . .
thanks for the lift!
This realization, that we’re made up of, and connected to, Source Energy, made me want to have a deeper understanding of spirituality so I could make my physical experience as awesome as possible. And let me tell you, ever since I got into it, it has been awesomeness maximus.

When I’m connected with Source Energy and in the flow, I am so much more powerful, so much more in tune to my physical world and the world beyond, and just so much happier in general. And the more I meditate and the more attention I give to this relationship with my
invisible superpower, the more effortlessly I can manifest the things I want into my life, and do it with such specificity and at such a rapid rate that it makes my hair stand up. It’s like I’ve finally figured out how to make my magic wand work.

If loving Spirit is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

HERE IS THE FOUNDATION FOR ALL THE WORK WE’RE ABOUT TO DO TOGETHER ON YOUR LIFE:

• The Universe is made up of Source Energy.
• All energy vibrates at a certain frequency. Which means you’re vibrating at a certain frequency, and everything you desire, and don’t desire, is also vibrating at a certain frequency.
• Vibration attracts like vibration.

Otherwise known as The Law of Attraction, the basic idea is: Focus on that which makes you feel good and ye shall find (attract) that which makes you feel good.

We’re all attracting energy to ourselves all the time whether we realize it or not. And when we’re vibrating at a low frequency (feeling pessimistic, needy, victimized, jealous, shameful, worried, convinced we are ugly) yet expect high frequency, awesome things and experiences to come into our lives, we are often disappointed.

You need to raise your frequency to match the vibration of the one you want to tune into.

It’s like trying to listen to a certain radio station but tuning in at the wrong frequency. If you have a hot and sexy date and want to listen to 105.9FM Slow Jamz, but set your dial to 89.9FM National Public Radio, you’re not only going to be Slow Jamless, but you’re more likely to attract a discussion about immigration laws in the U.S. instead of attracting a relaxed and candlelit body that’s in the mood for love.

The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out. And you can’t fool The Universe.

Which is why when you’re vibrating at a high frequency, awesome things seem to flow to you effortlessly and you seem to stumble over the perfect people and opportunities all the time (and vice versa). As Albert Einstein observed, “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.”

When you learn to consciously master the energetic realm, believe in the not yet seen, and stay in your highest frequency, you harness your innate power to create the reality you desire.

So once again, good ole awareness is your key to freedom. Once you realize that you can dramatically improve your situation by connecting with Source Energy and raising your frequency, you can freakin’ do it already (I’ll show you exactly how later) instead of opting to stay in the suckhole and feeling like a victim of pathetic circumstances such as microwaving ramen in its Styrofoam cup for dinner or working for someone who makes your flesh crawl.

In order to truly raise your vibration, you’ve got to believe that everything you want is available to you. And the best way to keep this belief strong is by staying connected to Source Energy.

It’s like we’re surrounded by this big, all-you-can-eat buffet of incredible experiences and insights and feelings and opportunities and things and people and ways to share our gifts with the world, and all we have to do is align our energy with what we want and take decisive action to allow this good into our lives. And this decisive action part is key. Sadly, we can’t just float around our neighbor’s pool on a raft with cup-holders, sipping cocktails and being all high frequency while waiting for unicorns to fly down from the sky. We have to take action—hell-bent-for-glory kind of action.

The trick is to have both parts—energy and action—working in unison: unless your energy is lined up properly with that which you desire, really desire, any action you take is going to require way more effort to get you where you want to go, if it gets you there at all. Once in a while you may get lucky doing one without the other, but if you get very clear on what you truly want (rather than what you think you should want), believe that it’s available to you regardless of your present circumstances by staying connected to Source Energy and keeping your frequency high, and take decisive action, you will eventually succeed.

Have you ever had a dream where you’re flying and you’re having such a blast but then you realize,
hey, wait a minute, I’m flying—I can’t fly
, and then you come crashing back down to the ground and you can’t get yourself back up again? No matter what you try? This is the way beliefs work. Even if it seems impossible, you have to have faith anyway,
and the second you stop believing, you pop the bubble and stop attracting the magic in your life.

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