You're Always in the Last Place You Look (3 page)

Chapter Four

“Argghh!” Tye chucked his rope, sending his stocky bay gelding skittering sideways. “What am I doing wrong?” He patted Gator as the gelding blew softly at the rope on the ground a few feet away. In three days of practice Tye’s catch rate was only eighteen percent. Even pee-wee heelers caught more on the Hot Heels.

I shook my head, as exasperated as he was. “I don’t know. Are you sore anywhere? Or maybe it’s the rope?”

“That’s the fourth one, so it’s not the goddamn rope. God I wish it was my rope. It’s just—I don’t understa-ha-nd,” he whined, leaning over Gator’s neck.

“You’re not locking your wrist.”

Tye sat back up, and we both swiveled as my father settled himself against the arena fence. My dad could carry ten different emotions on his face at once and manage to look genuine. Right now he was smugly sympathetic in a friendly sort of way. I knew he had pegged the problem.

“But...I’m pretty sure...” Tye also knew he was right, yet no roper wants to admit such a simple mistake.

Dad grinned, looked up into the old oak he was standing under, and pretended not to have heard Tye’s blathering.

“Let’s try again,” I suggested as I whirled AJ around, and went to reset the Hot Heels. Tye retrieved his rope, and was waiting in the heeler box by the time I backed AJ in to the left side. I wasn’t actually throwing my rope, but Gator needed the face-up to know his job was done. Otherwise he’d start popping up, and it always took several minutes to get his head back in the game.

I triggered the Hot Heels, and as soon as AJ heard the whir he bolted without being cued, leaving me to catch up. I yanked the reins, sending my heels into him sharply, and only saw Tye’s catch out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head just as Gator set back, and spun AJ around hard, forcing him backwards so quickly he stumbled.

“That’s enough, Gabriel!” Dad admonished loudly.

“But it would have been a broken barrier. He can’t get away with that!” I called back angrily. More pissed my father had yelled at me in front of Tye, than at AJ for his mistake. He had just gotten excited and overworked, and I knew this, but for some reason I took it wrong today.

“No, he shouldn’t get away with that, but beating on him will only make him hesitant to work. Put him back in the box.” Dad ducked through the rails, and went to re-set the Hot Heels.

He clunked the gate closed. “Good job, Tye. Watch your header on this one.”

Dad turned, laying his hand on my knee as he looked up at me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I’m fine. No worries.” He didn’t mean right this second. My dad only pushed his fatherly influence when he thought something was bothering me on a more cellular level. Otherwise he left me to figure things out in my own way. Maybe I was a little stressed, but Tye finding his flaw would help that immensely. I hoped.

“All right.” He stroked under AJ’s mane. “Hold him until I say.”

I tipped my chin as I cranked my hat down.

“He’s going to come up when you let him go. Don’t discipline him for it. He’s just trying to catch up.”

I rolled my neck around, popping the kinks loose. “I know.” I glanced down at AJ, his ears already pitched forward, his eyes wide and staring at the chute gate. He was leaning a little, so I rocked in the saddle. He straightened up, and tensed. I sat back hard as Dad hit the button. AJ hit the bit, and reared up. It wasn’t high, and the second his front feet hit the ground he slammed his butt back into the corner, knowing he had done wrong.

Dad waved us out. “Go.”

I leaned forward and smooched. AJ hesitated until he felt my spurs on his sides, then shot off. This time I did watch Tye. It was a perfect throw, and as his rope began leaving his hand, he braced his wrist, sending the loop straight and true. He was grinning before he even jerked his loop tight.

He yanked his rope free and whooped several times, causing Gator to bounce around like a spaz. I reached back, petting AJ’s rump, letting him know he had done well. He pranced all the way back to the chute.

“Good job. Tomorrow I’ll pull in a few calves.” Dad patted Gator then wiped his hand on his jeans. “I think you should pull their boots and take them to the creek to cool their legs.”

Tye, all smiles, slid off Gator, and began stripping his boots. I dismounted, following suit, velcroing the sweaty boots to AJ’s breast collar. I’d have to remember to wash them before the weekend.

“I’ll let Mom know she can put the meatloaf in.”

I looked curiously at Dad. “Where is she getting the beef?” It wasn’t from the grocery store. Both Dad and I could taste the difference. What she had been feeding us was farm slaughtered, no question.

My dad chuckled. “Enjoy this meal. I think it’s the last of what she found hidden under the corn in the chest freezer. Be glad she didn’t give it to the Russel’s while Bob was sick and out of work.”

Even Tye laughed at that. My mother was known the county over for her overt generosity. I would definitely be enjoying her meatloaf knowing it would be three weeks of chicken and beans before we slaughtered our first steers of the year.

*

“Who are you taking to prom?” Tye asked, throwing his leg in front of his saddle horn. A gutsy move considering Gator spooked at the stupidest things.

AJ reached for the taller rye grass along the creek bank, and I gave him his head. “I don’t know. I might not go.” I hadn’t even thought about it actually. Other than a few moments letting out of town girls fondle me at the rodeos, I hadn’t actually been on a date in months. There wasn’t anyone I was really interested in dating, let alone taking to prom.

“Its senior prom, you have to go. What about Sarah Parker? I saw you sucking face with her at Twin Falls and I know she likes you.” Tye waggled his eyebrows at me.

Sarah was a cute, hippy, brunette barrel racer with all the attitude in the world. She had been chasing me for two seasons, and when I finally let her catch me behind my trailer, it had been nothing short of a slobbery groping session—mostly on her part—and less than satisfactory. I had pushed her off, silently disgusted. She hadn’t gotten the hint though, and was still pursuing me.

“I don’t know, maybe. I’ve got some time yet.” I fiddled with AJ’s reins thinking about my options for prom, and not the least bit excited about any of the possibilities. I could ask Lily, but if they weren’t fighting at the time, she would be going with her boyfriend Jason.

“Well, there’s always Amy,” Tye suggested.

I snorted, and then swallowed down the sick feeling that came up at the mere mention of my ex’s name. “No!”

Tye chuckled knowingly. “At least she’d put out.”

“Let’s not go there, okay?” AJ pinned his ears, nipping at Gator. “Quit.” I tapped his shoulder with my fingers. Amy and I had been dating about three months, and it had been going good. Nice and slow. Then one afternoon, we were playing pool in her dad’s rec room and she became really aggressive, laughing off my pleas to stop. It was amazing how strong a girl could be when she was intent on getting what she wanted. To this day, it terrified me that I froze, and was unable to push her off.

I ignored her after that, and she eventually got the hint. Of course I never told anyone, not even Lily or Tye, exactly what had happened. I’d be the laughing stock of the whole school if it ever got out that I freaked because a girl took advantage of me. 

Still snickering, Tye shrugged. “You must have been good ‘cause she gets all hot and bothered when she sees you.” He broke down into a fit of giggles.

I rolled my eyes at him as I attempted to loosen the grip I had on my saddle horn. Tye pulled out his can of chew, and slapped it on his palm, causing Gator’s head to snap up for a second before he recognized the sound, and went back to eating.

“Hey man, just sayin’—sure thing and all.” He arched his brows at me as he wedged a pinch of tobacco between his teeth and lower lip.

I shook my head. “I’ll pass.” Just the mere idea of having to touch her, or letting her touch me, made my skin crawl, and my heart race.

Something sounding a lot like a scream broke the quiet, and my head whipped around along with AJ’s. Gator spun the opposite direction, dumping Tye in the creek. He swore as he leapt up, and grabbed his horse before he took off.

“What the fuck?” Tye scurried to catch his hat before the current swept it downstream.

“That was weird. It’s quiet now, but I think we should go check to make sure no one’s hurt.” I swung AJ around, and he clambered up the slick bank onto the path.

Sweeping his dark wet hair back, Tye made a disgusted noise. He cranked his straw hat onto his head, then mounted. “My good saddle...” he complained as he reined Gator around to follow.

We traveled up the path a ways, stopping now and then to listen. We didn’t find anything, the area calm but for the burbling creek. At Henry’s field we turned around, and headed towards home. We were almost back where we had started when an anguished yell jarred the air. I leapt off AJ, unclipped one side of his rein, and threw it to Tye.

“
Hey
...” Tye called.

I glanced at him before I dove into the huckleberries. “I’m just gonna to check it out.” I didn’t wait for his response. He knew the slope was too steep here for the horses to go down. My feet slipped as I hit the escarpment, and I grabbed a scrub oak, managing to keep myself from tumbling down the embankment. I swung myself down, the branch tearing at my hands. I hit the bottom, and the momentum sent me crashing onto the large flat rocks along Creeksbend, my hands scuffing along the timeworn granite.

“Zane?” He was on his knees, and even from where I was scrabbling back to my feet I could see he was shaking. “Zane...” He didn’t look up as I hurried over. “Oh Jesus!”

He was pale, the rock beneath him dotted with sweat where it had rolled off him—was still rolling off him. Then I caught sight of something dark red smeared across his jeans—
blood
—a switchblade lay against his thigh clutched tightly in his right hand. Where did someone even get one of those anymore?

“Zane,” I said carefully.

My father had all these pamphlets that covered just about everything. I’d read them all, and in the mix had been one titled;
The Causes of Self Mutilation
. It had gone on and on about the outward signs of a cutter, and then pretty much summed it all up as a result of depression, referring the reader to pamphlet five, the one on depression. Not once did it mention what to do with someone who had
actually
cut themselves.

Zane’s eyes stayed screwed closed, not even a flicker of recognition passed over him. He wasn’t hearing me. Heck, he didn’t even appear to be here at all. I knelt in front of him, not sure what to do. Suddenly he screamed, and I caught the movement of his hand. I went to lurch back, afraid he was going to stab me, but he pushed the blade’s edge into his thigh, and went to swipe it across the width of his leg. I seized his wrist, my hand closing around the black bandana there, and his hand snapped open, releasing the knife. In the same instant his eyes flew open, filled with shock.

I kept a hold of his wrist as I tossed the switchblade away. “Zane?” I reached up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his eyes so he could see who I was. His face tensed as he stared at me confused. He didn’t seem to recognize me. Then his eyes squeezed tight, and he let out such a woeful sound, full of pain and desperation. The fierceness of it vibrated through my chest, and in that moment, I was sure I would never forget it.

He collapsed against me, catching me off-guard. His arms cinched down around my neck and he began to sob against my shoulder. I’d comforted a lot of people over the years, but Zane didn’t strike me as the cuddly type, and I had zero experience with mental breakdowns. At least I assumed that’s what I was dealing with here—and I was completely lost over what to do with him.

It didn’t look like he was letting me go anytime soon either. His arms hadn’t even loosened an iota. As a matter of fact he had a death grip on me, his body shaking against mine. Slowly, so as not to alarm him, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. His breath hitched, and I thought he might push me away. But he didn’t. Instead he pressed his chest so tight against mine I could feel the pounding of his heart.

Even drenched in sweat and oozing blood, he smelled amazing—felt amazing pressed against me. I decided this wasn’t the time to think about my odd infatuation over him. Truth be told, I didn’t want to think about
that
at all.

“What the fuck?” Tye exclaimed as he burst through the brush. Zane flinched against me, turning his face into my neck as if trying to hide. Maybe he was.

I glanced at Tye, and shook my head, possibly in warning, but I wasn’t really sure. “Can you take AJ home, tell my dad where I am, and if I’m not back in half an hour to come find me.” I kept my voice low and even so as not to spook Zane.

The square toe of Tye’s boot hit the knife, sending it skittering across the rock. He picked it up, then seeing the blood on the blade, let it go, and wiped his hand on his jeans. Tye’s eyes latched onto the burgundy streaks seeping into Zane’s jeans.

“Is that the new kid? What...what happened? Is he okay? I mean...shit, man, he’s
bleeding
.”