A Slave to the Fantasy (10 page)

….

From a local court's beat reporter in Manila,
dateline September 24, 2014.

Opinion of the trial judge read in part: The
defendant Samuel Roberts will be allowed release without bail under
the bonded supervision and oversight of the local representatives
of the US embassy. He will be allowed to return to the US mainland
or Hawaii as well as any other territories.

The state's attorney has failed to make a compelling
case that there exists even reasonable suspicion for this defendant
to be bound over for tribunal and court martial pursuant to
international treaty. There exists no physical evidence linking
this defendant to any murder under investigation in the
Philippines.

…

“Tara thank you. You look lovely by the way.” Roberts
said without a hint of tongue in cheek or fear.

The document read simply: “Joey “Darren” Diazia,
visual video specialist. Metro office building, heart of downtown
Manila”

At that moment, he knew deep down the mysterious
death of Tanya's lover, and her existence was about to take a turn
for the unbelievable. Roberts couldn’t deny he felt a powerful
sense and zest for revenge being satisfied.

Chapter 13--Obsession

Her deepest feelings of filthiness wouldn't have
covered it. The reality Tanya Carasco was too weak to face was that
it was about money, just like before. Who was this man? Why was she
being forced to make love with him when Roberts was in town?

He sickened her. He smelled too.

The man was a Sultan or something. He had a long
scraggly beard and hair everywhere. She laid back and closed her
eyes. She never minded the lifestyle or objected to it. She derived
power from it. It was occuring to her that it wasn't her power.

She had never known it. The thought made her
physically ill more than this man. He swore at her to “loosen”
herself. She flipped over immediately and rode him face to
face.

He reached out and slammed his fist into her head
broadside.

“Whore!” he yelled. “You don't ever get on top!”

She reached for her phone and stared at it while she
kept thrusting despite the throbbing pain in her cheek.

...

...

“I love you. You know that. Just a little more time
and we'll be done.” Dr. Michael Blake spoke into the phone softly
to conceal his voice, and obviously the content of his call. “You
won't have to sneak around anymore. I won't have to sneak around
anymore. The world will be ours. We'll be free. Finally. I love
you, but I must go.”

With that, Dr. Blake returned to his small gathering
at his penthouse apartment overlooking Manila Bay.

“Who was that my love?” A fetching Eurasian beauty
likely in her mid to late 40s, but looking and seeming much
younger, asked.

With a slight playful grin in her gaze she said “You
are all work. I can't believe I married such a serious man.”

Blake soothingly caressed her shoulders while he
gazed into her eyes: “I am the luckiest man on earth to have such a
loving and beautiful woman like you as my wife. I thank the luck of
the heavens every day. Now let's return to our guests.”

With that, Dr. Blake moved swiftly from his small den
past his wife and out to the relative chaos of dinner guests of
fellow psychiatric counselors awaiting him in his main living
area.

Isabella Blake calmly peered over her shoulder and
waited for her husband to fully clear the room. She immediately
went to the computer on a nearby desk and hit a random key on the
keyboard. She felt her eyes well up in tears as she examined the
record of recent websites visited, including as many as 4 visited
in the last week. With technology, maintaining secrecy when you are
cheating on your wife. Cheating on your wife with another man.

She had long had her suspicions because of her
husband's awkwardness as a psychiatric resident around women. This
despite his dashing good looks and gift of being able to command a
large room of brilliant people with his exceeding brilliance. Not
to mention his deep closeness with a male colleague adjunct
professor in his department at the university.

His relative indifference to sex was not a byproduct
of the aging process. She knew this because it hadn't really
changed for the nearly two decades of their marriage. There was
something perpetually epicene about him.

She had taken to hiring video surveillance to have
him followed and had at least three instances where he checked into
a hotel mid-day under a false name, emerging 2 to 4 hours
later.

Isabella had gone as far as bribe the staff at one
hotel for a simple detailed log of who went in or out of the room.
It was just one man. He was lighter skinned, younger with a sinewy
but chiselled figure accentuated by an adherence to wearing
clothing that was probably a size too tight.

One housekeeper at the most recent upscale hotel
where Mrs. Blake had fished for information, noted that the man's
smile was totally sinister because his teeth were so snaggled and
“mean looking”.

She was now certain he was unfaithful, having
successfully entered the room during yet another hushed telephone
call he meant to keep secret. Her last step was to simply find out
who the man was on the other end of the line. Then she could look
at all her options.

She knew the reality of how this could end. The most
glaring reality being that her status among the people she seeked
to impress would be called into question. Not just because her
husband would be ruined, but because it would all be so weird.
Surely it would stick thoroughly to her as she attempted to wash
herself of it and move forward.

...

“You are going to have hand over that fucking video.
I was doing that for you. So you could eat, so Lisa could eat,”
Samuel Roberts whispered loudly into Tanya's ear as they settled in
to watch the Brad Pitt movie: “World War Z”. The movie was recently
released in the Philippines and around the world and this theater
was packed. Pitt was likely a bigger mega star here than in the
west.

“I'll do what I can. I can't control what he does. I
didn't know. I swear I didn't know,” Tanya whispered back as she
playfully dragged her left hand down around Samuel's crotch. “Mmm
well. Big boy, I am seeing definite signs of activity. Ha, ha.”

“This is serious shit,” Roberts said as he took his
right hand and began to run it under Tanya's shirt in the back as
she let out a giggle. He reached for her thong with his pinky and
began to jerk it upwards and then releasing it. “You have no idea
how much I have at stake. I can't be trespassing on foreign soil
and having it caught on video.”

He slowly flipped his hand knuckles in to the small
of her spine as he ran his fingers down under her thong, wrestling
small peach fuzz like hairs lining either side of her smooth firm
butt cheeks. He considered the tremendous pleasure she was feeling.
His penis grew rock hard but yet he maintained full confidence and
composure.

He felt dominant and in control, even in a public
place with dozens of strangers mere feet from him. He'd totally
flipped the obsession that he'd felt for years for this actual
stranger whom he only actually known as part of the fantasy. He was
sure of it. She would no longer puppeteer him.

What was sexual confidence? Real sexual presence? Why
was it so huge to acquire it. How did he acquire it? He was
completing the transformation from having to find success with one
girl he never touched and who was feeling nothing for him as time
wore on, to creating a multitude of choices.

...

“Sexual confidence is the separation point between
the average man who fights his weakness es and the man who creates
deep attraction in women. You test your sexual confidence in only a
few ways. (The only ways which matter when you are a man.)

Fundamentally: can you convey your deep attraction,
convey that you want a woman when she is in front of you with a
strong powerful and absolutely clear masculine body language
(especially firm eye contact)?

Roberts learned that words and lines, or trying to be
some sort of persona you were not (aka the “alpha male” archetype)
were missing the point altogether. Worse these forced behaviors
caused a man to overthink and confuse himself.

Could you be naturally rock solid confident face to
face with great beauty? Could you ask for what you want? Could you
ask by saying it without fear, and more importantly by saying it
nonverbally?

This was the essence of fearless, and when Samuel
Roberts evolved and captured the formula for this behavior to occur
naturally each and every time when approaching an attractive woman,
the game changed. The obsession no longer existed.

He confidently rubbed his middle finger in and around
Tanya’s back and pushed in slightly while she cooed and grabbed his
crotch tighter. He then reached over and kissed her under the ear
on the neck for an extra long 5 count whispering all along how they
had a movie to watch and she should tone it down. At the same time,
he was drawing his free right hand out from under her thong and
back onto her jeaned thigh.

Her thigh was trembling and he knew it would be only
a matter of a little time after the movie before they were
enveloped in passionate lovemaking. He wanted this girl. Bad.
Honestly, the same obsessive energy he'd felt for most of the first
couple years of their nearly 4 year online flirting/pen pal
relationship, was creeping back right at this moment.

Was it obsession and could it turn him into something
he wasn't? The authorities said no but he knew it could have been
yes. It was all that very powerful inside him.

In Tanya's mind, she dreamt of Bendato, a family.
Samuel Roberts was only a pawn. Her heart was dark. Not with hate,
but with obsession and indifference.

Chapter 14--Trapped

It always aroused her. Like if she didn't have a man
inside her, she wouldn't be able to function. No simple man could
do. On this night Samuel Roberts surprised her. He was that man. A
living fantasy. She searched endlessly for it but only to tell them
all they were pretenders to her Bendato.

The deep pleasure and loss of place and time. The
dreamy state of her deepest emotions being touched. Her future
suddenly looked murky but loaded with real possibility. It was the
last night for Roberts in Manila but before tonight she had only
wanted him gone.

She already had carried out the mission. How could
she give her body in that way to a man she had set up for certain
doom?

She was confused but she didn't feel any
responsibility ultimately. Inside she determined long ago she had
no control over anything in her life. So she juggled events in her
chaotic mind like she was watching a soap opera written, set on
fast forward, and by a writer on LSD

His flight from Tokyo to Manila would be delayed, but
only about an hour. It humored Samuel Roberts that now that he had
the money to actually make the trip to see his long-time unrequited
love, he went the cheaper route with the extra stops. It would be
almost 26 full hours of travel time when it was all done. Chicago
to Seattle to Anchorage to Tokyo to Manila.

It wasn't cheap either. On the shorter notice for the
trip, nearly $3000. The hotel for the 18 days would amount to
another $3000 minimum. That's $6,000 out before food and fun.

He couldn't sleep either way. The excitement was
overwhelming.

…

The sex talks they engaged in early on in the
relationship ended as abruptly as it began. The biggest reason was
after Tanya started her new job in Makati, she quit messaging him.
There were delays of weeks, a couple of times as much as a
month.

Roberts rationalized at the time that this was
similar to when he first spotted her on Filipino Lover. Back then,
it took him as many as 5 cracks of sending her messages over a
month's period to get a response.

He was the handsome (he was at about 6 feet tall with
handsome yet delicate features and blonde hair and an athletic
build that defied his age) American with all the power in the
relationship. After all, he was nearly 18 years older than the
young beautiful exotic dark skinned and haired beauty he was
quickly becoming infatuated with.

She knew English well for a Pinay of her age, but was
highly self-conscious about it during their conversations.

The age thing played a huge role as well. Also, she
still had a boyfriend and a loyal one. How would it look if she
were discovered on the website meant for the implied, and in many
cases express purpose of older American men meeting and romancing
youthful Pinay women?

So there was that unconventional history between
them. A history which screamed that she was actually in control and
had the power. Then, after they started communicating and it became
clear they had something different and real, she disappeared again
for long unexplained stretches.

What drew her to him? What made her basically stop
communicating with any other suitors on the website almost
immediately? He was fun loving and topical. He didn't go overboard
with the charm, just peppered it in to keep her feeling romanced.
He treated her like a woman with a brain and always sought to
inspire rather than make her feel less than what she was.